Cold humor-give me some cold jokes.

I'll introduce you to the cat flutter, that's a lot.

Of course, I will also post some.

Yesterday, I confessed my secret love to mm, and MM said to me, "You are a good man. You are very kind to me, but I believe you can find something better. " I'm so happy to hear the news! I thought my condition was poor, but I didn't expect mm to say that I could find a better one ~ I was too excited to sleep well all night yesterday because of this compliment …

Today is 3. 14, Pi Festival, so I want to eat pie ~

The host interviewed a pair of twins and asked one of them, "How old are you?" The other person answered, and then the host turned to another person and asked, "What about you?"

I remember when I first dated MM, I blushed and didn't know what to say.

A gust of wind blew, and suddenly I sneezed wildly, so I quickly apologized to MM: "gaffe, gaffe, gaffe ..."

Who knows that MM blushed and whispered to me, "Well, well, then I can't follow you ~"

There was a buddy in college who never spoke in public, but he was often refuted by us. Every time he was refuted, he always said angrily, "I curse your girlfriend for not being a virgin!"

That's a clever move. No one can do anything about him.

On this day, he did the same thing again, and even more severely scolded: "I curse that your girlfriends in the dormitory are not virgins!" " ! ! "

The second child, who usually doesn't like to talk, then said, "We also sincerely wish your girlfriend will always be a virgin ..."

Sell strong men, telephone110; Nurses for sale, telephone 120.

Come with me, I'll take you to sleepwalk!

In the first 22 years, I was rejected three times and twice. At present, I am leading by 3: 2. ...

For single girls, I always strive for it; I never give up married women; For girls over sixteen, I pay attention to digging; For children under sixteen, we should have a strategic vision.

For four years in college, I always thought I was a talented person, but I was wrong. I'm not! I'm a fucking genius! ! !

I talked about love twice in college, and both ended in failure. The first time she left me, the second time she refused to leave. ...

Blind fortune teller: "Ah, your family has a great event this year!" " "

Mom: "What's the big deal? Say it quickly! "

Blind fortune teller: "Your son is getting married this year ..."

Mom (sighing): "No, my son is now in college and studying at Xi Jiaotong University. Alas, he won't even have a girlfriend ... "

Blind fortune teller: "Oh, in that case, let's talk about it. Do you know what this is called? "

Mom: "I don't know."

Blind fortune teller: "This is called-knowledge changes fate!" " "

What are your plans after graduation?

B: Although I haven't been able to study in Chengqinghua in my life, I will try my best to teach in Tsinghua! ! !

There is a saying in the college Chinese exam that the country and the people are strong, the family and the people are strong, and the country and the people are strong. As a result, everyone has crossed the ocean, showing their magical powers-

A: Meat is delicious, cakes are delicious, and patties are delicious!

B: Gentlemen, young masters, young and old.

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!

D: wife, concubine, concubine ~

Chasing girls is always a simple matter. If you find it difficult to chase girls, you are probably chasing the wrong person. If you try your best to catch up with a girl, you might as well try your best to catch up with her, because it is too difficult to have a girlfriend, and your love is unequal from the beginning. The reason why she refused to promise you was because in the initial consciousness, she felt that you were not good enough for her. ...

So shameless and heartless, your weight should be very light, right?

The rice is not in the pot, and you are not in bed.

I came home from work early and found the manager and his girlfriend lying naked in bed. When they saw me, they made a V gesture and congratulated me: "Happy April Fool's Day!" " I will never forget that day-March 65438, 2009. ...

People in the past, don't be sad for my death. If I live, none of you will live-robespierre's epitaph.

If only your parents had spent ten minutes walking. . .

Do you like my angel's face or the devil's figure? "I like your sense of humor.

If you don't often encounter setbacks, it means that what you do is not very innovative-Woody Allen.

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age.

Close my eyes and I see my future. ......

Love is always more sacred than marriage, and marriage is always more affordable than love.

Some things, knowing that they are wrong, must be persisted because they are unwilling; Some people, knowing love, have to give up because there is no ending; Sometimes, knowing that the road has gone, we are still moving forward because we are used to it.

I was pulled out before I could flirt.

As soon as others praise me, I worry that others praise me not enough.

Zheng Zhi's biggest role is to kick his opponent into Zheng Zhihua on the court.