Who can tell a joke or two? Thanks...

1. I have a buddy who practices sports. One day I used a travel bag to carry two 60kg dumbbells to the sports school. I encountered two bag thieves on motorcycles, and they reached out and snatched my buddy's bag. Then the motorcycle overturned...

2. While waiting for the subway, a guy ran towards Pol.ice excitedly. I wondered if he had picked up his wallet.

He ran to Pol.ice and said excitedly: "Brother Pol.ice, I just bought a bottle of green tea from the vending machine. I won another bottle. Where can I redeem my prize?"

3. “Recently, there is always a man leaving messages and commenting on his mood in your space.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t think he is I like you for something."

"What about you?"

"You are my best friend, I am afraid that you will be cheated."

"...Oh."

4. Just now, I received a text message: "Transfer money to XX account, Wang XX".

Remembering the methods used to deceive scammers online, I replied, "Should I send you 1 million in one call, or in two installments?"

I went back and immediately received a reply: "You successfully customized ××, monthly subscription is 30 yuan.”

5. I just saw a classmate asking for help on Weibo and roared: Please help me find out what to do if my hand is stuck with 502! ! !

My middle finger and thumb are stuck together. I am now Guanyin! ! !