Funny lines of post-80 s talk show

In life, lines are used in many places, and lines are the main means to express plots, portray characters and embody themes. What are the characteristics of those popular routes? The following are the funny lines of the post-80s talk show I collected for you. Welcome to share.

Funny lines of post-80s talk show 1 1) Those who don't help others when they see them fall will definitely have no one to help them in the future.

2) dear earthquake volcano is not terrible as long as you are around, because you are even more terrible.

3) Office workers work hard and earn a monthly salary, but the workload does not include traffic.

4) Wang Jianguo: I was bitten by a dog. Can I be a dog? You have rabies.

5) Setting off firecrackers is to dispel the fear of the unknown future, such as setting off firecrackers when getting married.

6) Stop, stop, give me a bird's belly. Who is the man who just ate a box lunch backstage?

7) I haven't starved to death or beaten a professor for more than six years; The walls of Beijing have not been torn down.

8) Let's talk about the significance of Lu Xun. In fact, people just want to earn some money to eat noodles.

9) Throughout the ages, everyone loves to be a civil servant. In ancient times, it was relatively simple. Cut it with one knife.

10) I have no credibility. I know. I am the stomach of a bird. Do you think I have lost weight recently?

Funny lines of post-80s talk show 2 1) That is what the weak say is an excuse; Everything is luck, which is the humility of the strong.

2) Crosstalk can be divided into disc version and gun version, and here is the gun version, because we have jokes here.

3) Since the first day of stock trading, my qualifications have declined. When you meet someone, ask how the stock is: down.

4) The people have no special requirements. We just want to live like employees of state-owned enterprises.

5) My wife always asks me: Is there always a piece of clothing missing from my closet? Yes, you always buy skirts.

6) Like F, you are always there, but you just don't know what to do. You can call me F.

7) taxi driver robbery: special two youth: anything can be done. Can you stop the meter first?

8) Hello everyone, come to class today. I don't talk about fashion today, but I want to talk about love today.

9) Losers in love have gone too far. What do you mean by pure price? Who said I failed in love? Where did I fail?

10) at the airport, a man asked me, buddy, do you have a lighter? I said yes, here you are. Oh, it's disposable. I have zippo, too

1 1) I always say that jokes are a loser's game. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! Who can tell jokes when there are beautiful women to see!

12) Forget it, I tell you, this is wrong in short, the key is that your film only teaches female bachelors how to fall in love.

There was another aftershock in Japan. This time, there were no casualties. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is just not as good as the first episode.

14) Every time the subway leaves, several people get off. I decided to take a cactus to work, and then I got off the subway and saw how aloe vera was.

15) Now girls in their twenties marry old men in their forties and fifties. What should we do? We will wait until we are 40 or 50 years old before marrying people in their twenties.

16) Spider-Man, like our D-Silk in Qian Qian, can only live in the city, but not in the countryside at all, so there are more opportunities in the city.

17) Look at your film. Of course, it was a good movie, and all the failures in it should be your personal experience.

18) The goddess said: My piano is Grade 10, clarinet is Grade 6, and English is Grade 8. What's your specialty? Wang Jianguo thought for a long time: I have more than 60 levels in World of Warcraft.

19) my god, am I ready to go to the kung fu world? You have no idea how painful this punch is! Sister Hold: No, I am so gentle.

20) Try a place I really want to take you to. It has beautiful lighting, a very good atmosphere and a box. Most importantly, it will be a little exciting if we go together.

Funny lines of talk show 3 after 80s 1. I believe that the 18th National Congress has changed and become more and more casual.

You must tolerate my ignorance like your leader. I'm not saying that a leader must be ignorant. The basis of ignorance is leadership. This sentence is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? If a leader is stupid, he is called great wisdom!

3. Later I went to observe (yuanxiao mold). It turned out that they vomited after drinking half a mouthful, and some vomited so badly that they didn't even have foam! Basically, they are hesitant all afternoon, and a cup of black coffee can drink cappuccino.

I believe Britain is the most beautiful country in Europe, especially Paris.

5. Hello, everyone! Hi! Ok ... I don't have much time to perform because my green card will expire soon. I grew up in the backcountry of China. One year in junior high school, we suddenly decided to repair dirt roads, lay bricks and cement, and let students take bricks to school ... We worked hard for three weeks and finally repaired the road. Many years later, I heard this word: child labor. I was immediately surprised. What? ! Are those children still paid for their work?

6. At the beginning of 2008, the Prime Minister said: 2008 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened before the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister's voice fell, everything happened. After the Chinese New Year, a snowstorm; By plane, return; Take the train and derail; Sitting at home? There was an earthquake.

7. At present, the stock market in China has become an accident.

8. Everyone thinks that he is a stock god. Even the aunt who sells onions in the side dish market said, "I have news!"

9. remember Marriage is a set meal to eat together, marriage is money, so we should go together.

10, (magnetic levitation),100 billion, solving the traffic problem of 30 kilometers.

1 1, Liu Huan for so many years, I have never found his neck.

12, every time Allah can see Premier Wen at the old farmer's house on TV, he always picks the most lost (dirty) person to shake hands (then Zhou Libo makes Premier Wen's statement): "We are late!"

13, at that time, malt extract should not be too strange! I went to my classmate's house and his mother made me a cup of malt extract. It was amazing! At that time, I gave the children malt extract! But I picked it up and looked at it. I'm dying. How can I get the opposite picture? Just put a few fucking (malted milk essence)! She thinks it's chicken essence! Also inserted a chopstick to call me: adjust a tune, adjust a tune! It was still a little confusing (turbid), very clear (very clear)!

14, a fire, a fire, burned our Daxinganling.

15, the worst thing is the cramp dance (cramp), where three or four hundred people dance together, as if they can't find the toilet.

16, think about it, this 380 yuan is useless at home, the most you can see, hey, this is counterfeit money! This is the beginning of HD!

17, if you spend 380 yuan in Maggie to see Zhou Libo and you don't laugh, you can take Zhou Libo to the hospital.

18, hybrids must be mixed as far away as possible if they want to be beautiful.

Chris Lee answered me a puzzling question. I didn't believe Mulan joined the army at first. How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? Later, I met Chris Lee, and I finally knew, oh! Facts have proved that it is technically feasible!

20. Yu-Ching Fei, I did the math for him. Every time I have a good concert in Shanghai, I run away the next day. He didn't spend money in Shanghai, which is not good for our GDP in Shanghai!

2 1, I believe my meal is good, because everyone who survived my meal said so.

22. I am very careful. I found that in swimming pools, especially female compatriots, the angle of these swimming trunks averaged 20 degrees for five years.

23. Bowing for so long is not to win applause. Actually, I mainly want people to check my head.

24. (Next to the high-voltage tower) A giant slogan reads: Do not touch the high-voltage line. If you touch them, you will die.

I believe that God is a woman, because she will never forget anything you did wrong.

26. Thank you! I feel very honored that so many of you have come to see me today. ...

27. I don't like Chinese mixed with English. It is very inappropriate and impossible to speak English when speaking Chinese.

28. I believe my wife's English is really not very good. She once again asked me how to spell the English word CCTV.

29. I believe that a healthy mind is the foundation of happiness, so I never have a physical examination.

30. The combination of two unfavorable factors makes us laugh and cry.

3 1. To be friends with a person, you should not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called-lack of happiness (fool).

I believe people should go to bed early and get up early, and do more meaningful things in the morning, such as sleeping late.

33. The stock of Allah (us) not only plays with people, but also plays with birds. Even the bird was killed by you, so why does Allah play with a bird?

34. Not once in a thousand years, but Zhou Libo. You treat me like a turtle!

35. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, after you know the law, you don't break the law, which is a waste.

36. And all my childhood memories were destroyed by my childhood. When I was in primary school, as part of my course, I went to work in rice fields. Next to the rice field is a quarry. They blew up rocks with explosives. It was there that I learned that light travels faster than sound, and the speed of sound is almost as slow as the speed of stone flying.

37. Do you remember cutting girls' swimsuits? It's like ... more than 600 Venetian knots. Later, a skirt was added, like a turtle's skirt.

38. Friends! Help! Big friends! Marlboro, in the pocket!

39. The most disabled people (poor) are those sparrows. The big screen in front of the securities company has never been red, but it has always been a bright green forehead. Sparrows don't understand. They thought that * * * Green Forest Park had arrived, and Zhong Yan Greenland had arrived. They only rushed to the big screen! Fight for one and die, fight for one and die.

40, collapse, is to collapse into pieces!

The funny lines of the post-80s talk show are 4 1, and the three customs will live in the hearts of the three vulgar people forever.

2. Emotional failure has gone too far. What does the price mean? Who said I failed emotionally and where did I fail?

3. Earn the money to sell cabbage and XX.

4, office workers are very hard, the salary is a monthly salary, but the workload does not include traffic.

A successful woman will make her husband feel insecure forever.

8. There are boyfriend and girlfriend online at present. How do parents distinguish between true and false boyfriends and girlfriends? Ask him at the dinner table, didn't our child's infectious disease pass to you? Say nothing is false, jump is true.

9. I met a taxi driver and robbed him: Special Two Youth: You can do anything. Can you stop the meter first?

10, since the first day of stock trading, my qualifications have declined. Who asked me how the stock was: down.

1 1. With such a lighter, you still expect others to borrow the light.

12, everyone has advantages in his work, but everyone hates being called a leader.

13 Like F, you have been there all the time, but you just don't understand why. You can call me F.

14, star guest, you play a walk-on.

15, another aftershock occurred in Japan. There was no loss or death this time. What does this mean? This shows that the sequel is just not as good as the first episode.

16, never starved to death or hit a professor for more than six years; The walls of Beijing have not been torn down so far.