Funny monologue lines

Wait a minute.

joke writers

Guo: Why? Why is this happening? According to the statement, it will not. Actually, his family is quite rich. Take (really) his father as an example ...

Y: Don't film yourself!

Guo: There are flies. ...

Y: There are no flies this month.

Guo: Their father should be very rich. There is no shortage of food and drink in their family, which is not the case by rights. To tell the truth, his father stands out in that job.

Y: oh.

Guo: His practice is not suitable for the elderly.

Y: really?

Guo: His father, a grave robber.

Y: Not as good as mine.

Guo: Grave robbers. Archaeology, knowing where there is a grave, if the country doesn't dig it, his father will sell it as a cultural relic. Carrying the Luoyang shovel, I was still singing when I came home: I have nothing to do today ~ ~ ~, I have to support the ground ~ ~ ~

Y: stop singing.

Guo: I went again.

Y: really?

Guo: In a village in Hebei Province, a grave was dug and there was a skeleton in it. There is a tiger skin skirt at the waist of the skeleton and an iron bar on the ground, which reads: Ruyi gold hoop, weighing 36 thousand Jin.

Y: The above statement is correct.

Guo: His father wondered, Wukong's grave?

Y: quite familiar!

Guo: Why? Is it true?/You don't say. /You don't say. Big, beep ~ ~, big, beep ~ ~, the longer, the bigger.

Y: oh.

Guo: I can't take this. Small, small, small, small, du ~ ~, so big, put it in my ear.

Y: My father is a monkey?

Guo: You can see The Journey to the West.

Y: oh.

Guo: Just put it aside. The village chief came with four people and a red hoop. What do you do? This is Wukong's grave!

Y: oh.

Guo: I don't know. I don't know. Village head: Where is the best golden hoop? Your father: I don't know!

Y: no

Guo: Ah, your mouth is quite tight. That's great. Your mouth is peeing. Take it out. Take it out. Your dad: I didn't see it!

Y: I can't.

Guo: You paid 100 yuan.

Y: huh? One hundred dollars?

Guo: I didn't. I don't know. I don't know if you killed me! Village head: You want to die, you want to die!

Y: what's the matter

Guo: There is a way for you to go. Big! Dead.

Duanziwu

Guo: Tell me something about Yu Qian.

Y: Can't live without me?

Guo: There is no one else on the stage, saying that others are not suitable.

Y: Then tell me about me.

Guo: Let's talk about Yu Qian. I think I learned a lot of social experience from my teacher.

Why are you so polite?

Guo: I am alone, reading at home all day, and I don't like going out. He is in the wild all day.

Y: what is wild?

Guo: We went to perform together that day. Our car broke down. He gave me a ride and we drove away. It was half past eleven in the evening. Let's go Walking, well, he stepped on the brakes and fell back. There was a big sister standing by the roadside. It's cold, wearing little, little skirt, smoking, on the side of the road.

Y: How familiar this road is.

Guo: Tell me: Take a taxi. You go ahead. I said you have to drive me. You go, go, go, go. Let me see. Get off. Ah, go away, they won't see us off. I got off the bus and watched. He got off, uh-huh ~ ~, and skated back and forth three times. The woman spoke: don't look, I'm the only one.

Y: I understand.

K: How much is it?

Y: Let's start paying the bill.

K: One hundred dollars. Are you out of your mind? Are you out of your mind? Thirty!

Y: I can make a counter offer.

Guo: Fifty.

Y: mm-hmm

Guo: I am an apprentice!

Y: Why do you say that? Why do you say that?

Guo: You can reduce it if you mention this. Well, then give the old artist face. Guess what? Get in the car, get in the car. Two people want to get on the bus. He got on the bus first, and the woman stood there. Can the car go? Crunch ~ ~ ~ The car can't move. I am coming down. I can't leave. Leave this car here. Where are we going? Yes, 50 meters. Go to my house.

Y: Oh, it's almost home.

K: OK, then I'll go with you. I can't go back tonight. Leave tomorrow morning. Well, take a taxi.

Y: by taxi?

Guo: Are you crazy?

Y: What a colloquial language.

Guo: How much does reunification cost? I will spend 10 dollars to take a taxi again? It's on the side of the road, 50 meters, and there is no taxi. Nonsense, it's okay not to take a taxi? Ah, don't take a taxi. Am I leaving?

Y: A cripple?

-

Duanziliu

Guo: Are you still listening? Well, there are many people backstage, old and young. Mr. Xing didn't come today, but Li Wenshan didn't. As we all know, Mr. Wang Wenlin has shaved his head, and the old gentleman in the background has a colloquial saying: It's interesting.

Y: I like to say that.

Guo: As our regular viewers know, it's a little interesting, a little interesting. He talked about it. His father is Mr Wang Changyou.

Y: That's the old gentleman.

Guo: Master of Crosstalk.

Y: right.

Guo: Very capable. Mr. Wang didn't catch up with his father's death. I missed it. He's performing elsewhere. Come back as soon as you get the news. Cry like a crybaby. Filial son

Y: oh.

Guo: When I went to the hospital through the glass, I saw the old man with a tube inserted and being rescued. Shoot glass. You said this thing, his father was in a coma for several days. When he heard the sound, he turned and waved.

Y: ouch.

Guo: The doctor said: This can be cured. Let him in. Come on.

Y: recognize people.

Guo: Maybe his arrival will bring his father back to life.

Y: Right, right, right.

Guo: I put it in. I stood in front of the bed and said, Dad, how are you? In a hurry. The old man motioned to him for a pen.

Y: oh, yes.

Guo: I want paper. Someone is holding it next to him. Pass it to me. The old man wrote a few words, wow, and handed them to Wang Wenlin. Wang Wenlin spoke in his hand, and his father died. Wang Changyou, a cross talk master, died.

Y: no more.

Guo: Crying like a crybaby. Outside friends and relatives have come in to drive Wang Wenlin out and handle affairs. This busy, someone opened the paper. Look at what his father wrote. ...

Y: what?

Guo: You stepped on my oxygen pipe.

Y: hi!

Duanziba

Guo: There are three old gentlemen backstage. Zhang Wenshun, Li Wenshan, Wang Wenlin. Three old men are the most cola. Let's go to the show and watch eternity. Soak in the bathhouse all day. Okay, this. I know that Yu Qian's father is also good at this. Old people like to take a bath.

Y: Old people like this.

Guo: But bring your own food and soak for a day.

Y: bring your own food?

Guo: Hmm. At noon, sitting on the edge of the pool, two feet flapping on the water, click click. Take a lunch box to eat fried cakes, and brush the lunch box after dinner.

Y: hey, there is no such brush!

Guo: It's too clean.

Y: What is clean?

Guo: Take out an apple. ...

Y: oh, dear!

Guo: It still needs washing!

Y: one bite and one wash?

Guo: You can eat more.

Y: eat more!

K: OK. Our three old gentlemen backstage are also good at this, Zhang Wenshun, Li Wenshan and Wang Wenlin. Zhang Wenshun's suggestion.

Y: Mr Zhang.

Guo: Come on, take a bath. It's interesting that Mr. Wang is willing.

Y: everything is interesting.

Guo: Li Wenshan also went. Three people wash, one person washes for a day. Go in at nine o'clock in the morning and leave at twelve o'clock in the evening. Here comes the man: Third, it's time. It's closed Let's leave now. Three people came out. They charge 10 dollars for washing this one day. Take off your clothes and throw them into the basket. At first glance, the clothes were gone and stolen.

Y: no?

Guo: These three people only wear glasses.

Y: Hey, the right place can't be blocked.

Guo: Not naked. The other mask counts as three points.

Y: hi! What a mess.

Guo: What should we do? Zhang Wenshun had an idea. Let me tell you something. Our house is across the street. It's twelve o'clock at night, and there's no one there. The three of us go to our house, and crossing the road is victory. I'll get the clothes, you two put them on, go home, and I'll go back to my own house. Ah, all right. Three people came out. Wang Wenlin said: If we want to leave, the three of us must hold hands, and no one can abandon anyone. Ha, Lin Wen, you are a chicken thief. The three old men were naked, naked.

Y: I walked away.

Guo: There are street lamps on both sides of the road, which are very bright. But no one, no one in the dead of night.

Y: nobody.

Guo: That day happened to be the day when Beijing successfully applied for the Olympic Games. More than 14,000 people come from here.

Y: wow!

Guo: Wave the flag and shout: Oh! Beijing's Olympic bid is successful!

Y: They just saw it.

Guo: More than 10,000 people are stupid, and no one speaks. After five minutes of stalemate, Zhang Wenshun spoke: Wow, so the earth is like this!

Y: aliens!

Duanzijiu

Guo: Three old people have coke, and so do the children. That man, Mr. Zhang from Zhang Wenshun, has an apprentice who has a bunch of sons. Xu Deliang is his apprentice and Gao Feng is his adopted son.

Y: These are dry relatives.

Guo: These two have cokes. Don't look at a door. Zhang Wenshun's apprentice and Zhang Wenshun's adopted son are still at odds.

Y: Oh, there are contradictions.

Guo: They had cross talk, but they didn't get along. Two people go to a restaurant for dinner, and each has his own plan.

Y: Oh, not my deskmate.

Guo: Gao Feng sits here, sit here. Take what you need. I'll tie it for you. number

Y: no

Outer city wall