A collection of the funniest tricks in chat conversations (three articles)

Classic deceptive sentences in chat 1. Don’t move! Look at this text message quietly! Look at the top, look at the bottom, don’t forget the left and right! Have you finished reading? Just finish reading. Delete it!

2. What happened? When you dialed your mobile phone, the voice prompt said: You are calling a lazy pig from out of town. Please dial the Pig Pen area code before the number you dialed. I couldn't believe it. I called again and the voice prompt said: The owner of the phone has been slaughtered.

3. The most romantic thing I can think of is to watch you slowly get fatter. Then I'll have pork to eat. Oh yeah!

4. I heard that eating garlic can prevent influenza A, and I think it makes sense. Think about it: if you eat garlic, others will think you smell bad and won’t be close to you, and the influenza A virus will also I can’t get close enough! Haha, don’t forget to hold two cloves of garlic before going out!

5. Meeting you is the beginning of my heartbeat, falling in love with you is my happy choice; pursuing you is my direction The starting point of happiness; having you is my most precious treasure; stepping onto the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

6. Are your ears itchy? That means I am thinking Are your eyes itchy? That means I want to see you. Are your mouth itchy? That means I want to kiss you. Is your body itchy? That means... Stop thinking about it, you are almost getting lice. Go take a shower!

7. I have three things to say to you, including the following sentence. Thank you. I have finished.

8. "I miss those days very much. You walked in front of me on the country road with your head lowered. When the villagers saw you, we all praised you: Hey, Beautiful and clean! He also praised me: What a good kid, he comes out to herd pigs in such a young grade!"

9. This time I sent a message, there are three main purposes: one is to connect with each other; the other is to pass the time. Time; third, I tell you very responsibly: when the weather gets cold, remember not to wear crotchless pants anymore. ”

10. Don’t eat when you’re hungry! I did it; don’t sleep when you’re sleepy! I did it too; don’t put on clothes when it’s cold, I did it again. I’m such a strong person, It's a pity that I didn't do it without telling you when I missed you.

Classic chatting tricks 1.

Praise like this:

I think. You are so narcissistic,

To be honest, you look like this,

The most you can win in a beauty pageant is

I found out that you are a liar,

Because I look much better in person than in the photo

2.

"You must be short-sighted, right?"

"Why do you say that?"

"If you weren't short-sighted, how could you not tell that I like you?"

He asked me what I was doing, and I said I was drawing on my eyebrows.

He said. , let me see, the eyebrows are dark and light?

(The first half of the poem is "After putting on makeup, I asked my husband in a low voice")...

I melted at that time

3.

On the way back with my boyfriend, he hummed a few times and I said you looked like you were on drugs

He joked and said, "Look at me, I'm giving you You demonstrate what drug taking is?"

Then as soon as I turned my head, he kissed me

5 classic chat jokes (1)

The disciple asked the teacher: " Can you talk about the weirdness of being human? "The teacher replied: "They are eager to grow up, and then lament their lost childhood; they exchange health for money, and soon want to use money to restore their health; they are anxious about the future, but ignore the happiness of the present. Therefore, they live neither in the present nor in the future. They live as if they have never died; before they die, they feel as if they have never lived. "

(2)

One day, the dog asked the wolf: Do you have a house and a car? The wolf said no. The dog asked again: Do you have three meals a day and fruit? The wolf said No. Do you have anyone to coax you to play with and take you shopping? Wolf said no.

The dog said with disdain: You are so incompetent, why do you have nothing! The wolf smiled: I have the personality of not eating shit, I have goals that I chase, I have freedom that you don’t have, I am a lonely wolf, and you are just a dog that thinks you are happy!

(3)

When a drop of ink falls into a glass of water, the water immediately changes color and cannot be drunk; when a drop of ink melts into the sea, the sea remains a blue sea. Why? Because the belly capacity of the two is different. The unripe wheat ears stand straight up, while the mature wheat ears hang their heads. Why? Because the portions of the two are different. Tolerating others is magnanimity; humbling oneself is weight; together, it is the quality of a person.

(4)

The old man said to his child: "Clench your fists and tell me how you feel?" The child clenched his fists and said, "A little tired." The old man said: " Try to use more force." Child: "I'm even more tired. I'm holding my breath!" Old man: "Then let it go." Child said, "It's much easier!" "When you feel tired. , the tighter you hold it, the more tired you will be. If you let it go, you will feel more relaxed. "It's such a simple truth, it's easier to let go.

(5)

When a person is angry, his IQ is zero; when a person is impatient, his actions will be deformed; when a person does not give the other party trust, nothing he says is of any use; When a person loses his direction, he has no motivation to do anything; of course, the most important thing for a person is self-knowledge, self-awareness, and self-reliance. Only with self-awareness can we leverage our strengths and avoid weaknesses, only with self-awareness can we stand on our own, and only with self-reliance can we stand upright. ;