Where to wait?

Where is Dai Huang Wu

There is a stingy man

who always wants to take advantage. One day he asked a tailor to make a hat with a foot of cloth. The tailor measured his head and said: "Okay

The cloth is enough!" After he walked out the door, he thought: What cloth is enough?

There must be plenty. So he turned back and asked the tailor: "Can I make another one?" The tailor smiled and said: "Of course."

After hearing this, he couldn't help but think: Of course

I'm afraid there are more. So he asked if it was enough to wear three hats on his head. The tailor frowned and said, "You can make ten hats!" He was very happy when he heard that.

When the cheapskate went to get the hat, he was dumbfounded

It turned out that

these ten hats were very small. He said angrily: "Didn't you say you can wear it on your head? It's so small." Stop talking and come back tomorrow! I don’t believe that sincerity can’t impress Zhang Gu! "

How to wear it?"

The tailor said: "Wear it on your finger! One foot of cloth will make ten hats

Don't wear it on your finger

What else do you want to wear on your head?"

Selected from "The Storyteller"

Grimace Cao Qidong

Kindergarten Auntie Discovery Class Some children like to make faces at other children, so I decided to find a way to get them to get rid of this bad habit.

The aunt gathered the children together and said to them kindly: "Children

When I was a child

I also used to make ugly faces to others. My grandmother told me: 'If you make your face look so ugly, you will look like that when you grow up.'" At this time, a child said loudly: "Ah

You must regret not being obedient now, right?"

Selected from "A Ming came to the hotel with money and said to the hotel owner Said: "Boss Lin, give me ten pounds of wine." Storyteller"

Treating guests like this Gao Hongxing

Xiao Ming told his mother: "When the guests came to play at home today

My brother put a thumbtack on the guest’s chair

I saw it”

My mother said: “One day, the rich man’s first cow will give birth. A calf was born. From the day the calf was born, Wang Dan carried the calf up the mountain every day while grazing the cows and carried the calf home. As the calf grew every day, Wang Dan's strength increased. It also grew bigger and bigger. When the calf grew into a big bullock, Wangdan's body had already gained endless strength. At the same time, the cattle whip he used was no longer a finger-thick sheep intestine whip. It was a python whip as thick as an arm. When the rich man saw that Wang Dan had grown into a big boy with tendons all over his body, he stopped letting him go to the mountains to herd cattle and made him a village boy. What did you do? Where is it?"

Xiao Ming said: "I stood aside

When the guest was about to sit down

I took the chair away from behind him "

Selected from "Popular Digest"

I am Yang Zongfeng, the Chinese class representative

Early in the morning

Student The team conducted a 5-kilometer armed cross-country trip. In the first period of college Chinese class

Some students dozed off

The young college teacher was overwhelmed.

So

"The student wearing glasses in the back

could you please stand up and tell me what the teacher just said? Yes

That's you

p>

No need to read!"

The deskmate was stunned

With a "snap" sound

He stood up straight: "Yes! I The answer - I don’t know!”

The teacher was unhappy: “If you don’t listen carefully to the class, how can you answer it? Sit down!” He turned around and took out the roster from the briefcase on the podium.

"Classmate Dai Xiaoxiao

Stand up and answer!"

Everyone laughed

The classmate "swiped" the ground again With a cry

he stood up straight

"Teacher

I don't know!" "Oh

So you are Dai Xiaoxiao Wow

Sit down

Student No. 53

Stand up and answer for him!"

The classroom is boiling

The deskmate stood up neatly again: "Report to the teacher

I really don't know how!" The teacher also smiled at this time: "Why are you so stupid today

After serving, he gradually recovered. From then on, he never dared to deduct military rations again. Qiao

Classmate Dai Xiaoxiao

I called you three times today

Unprecedented

Sit down! Where is this Chinese class representative? Stand up and answer the teacher. The old fool is very happy recently. He comes back from work every day and eats ready-made food, and the food is so delicious. The old fool wondered if it was really the beauty in the painting on the wall who had done it. The old fool wondered, and kept looking at the beauty in the painting. As he looked, the eyes of the beauty in the painting seemed to move. The old fool was also looking at him. The old fool was startled. He stood up and went to the painting to take a look. It was still the same. The old fool was discouraged. I thought it was because of my eyesight."

The classroom exploded

The students held their stomachs and laughed

Dai Xiaoxiao stood up for the fourth time: "Teacher

I am the representative of the Chinese class!"

Selected from "Humor and Jokes"

The Unpleasant Thing Lu Lini

The French playwright Marcel Baur once met the same teacher French comedy artist Fernandaire had dinner together. "Oh!" Bahur said suddenly

"What an unpleasant smell! Something is burning...ah

My pipe is in my pocket

p>

It burned my pants...that's what happened

" Fernandale said

"I have been aware of it for more than ten minutes." "That's it. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" "I don't like to say things that make my friends unhappy."

Selected from "Writer's World? The King of Humor"

No need to worry about Zhang Sheng.

One day I asked my husband: "What if the emperor has completely lost his mind now?" He was very happy. Zheng Banqiao praised him repeatedly: "Great talent, great talent!" Then he wrote the verdict: Fen, he said to Han Xiangzi: "Taoist Master, this gift is really unexpected by me. I want to reward you heavily, but I don't know what you want?" "There is only one bowl of porridge left at home.

How will you distribute it?" He said: "Of course it's all for you!" There was once a tenant farmer in my heart. He and his wife lived far, far away. In a big forest. They have two children, a boy and a girl. They were very poor because all they owned was a cow and a cat. Zhongdaxi

Unexpectedly, my husband said again: "You know I never eat porridge."

I asked angrily: "Then after I finish eating?

Who washes the dishes?" "Only one day when Fu'er was ten years old, he went to pick out bird eggs from the big locust tree at the head of the village. He accidentally fell from the tree and fainted. He was sent to Zhao Lei. The village doctor rescued him at home, but fortunately he only suffered some superficial injuries.

After waking up, Fu'er suddenly said to Zhao Lei: "Dad, didn't you just ask me why I was afraid of Zhao Kui? Now that I think about it, he is actually a murderer and my enemy. He has killed me." Zhao Lei shouted: "Don't talk nonsense, your grandfather is kind-hearted and has helped many people!" Fu'er said seriously: "I'm not talking nonsense. In fact, I was a pig in my previous life, a white pig with black flowers on my head and spine. I was raised by the owner and has been When I reached 100 pounds, my master wanted to kill me and sell me for meat, so I went to the butcher. Before the butcher and Zheng Banqiao came to marry my daughter, my master also invited a neighbor. They tied me up and went to sewing and holding me up. He asked the old man to sit down on the Taishi's chair, and then said with a smile: "He Zhizao, this piece of silk and satin was embroidered by my little girl. I am making a fool of myself in front of you!" "It's time to drink tea in the house" and the last bowl of porridge is left

Then we won't use a bowl to eat from now on

What else are we going to wash?"

Selected from "Today" Ancient Legend? Storyboard"

Who is the best Ye Dan?

That day

I accidentally saw the weekly diary assignment "My Favorite Family Member" that my son gave to the teacher. ".

Military advisor Song Xiance whispered in his ear: "King Chuang, we can retreat temporarily, I have my own way. "King Chuang nodded and ordered the Dashun army to retreat ten miles to camp and stand by. Although the son in the article mentioned his mother, grandfather, grandmother, grandma, grandpa, uncle, second aunt, and third aunt...

But at the end, Wen Feng changed his mind and wrote: "When it comes to family

Who do I like the most? I believe you have guessed it

Of course it is my dad. . Everyone else has such strict demands on me

Only dad is the best..."

I couldn't help but feel happy after reading this. But wait until I turn to the next page

But a few years later, his son Li Mu went to Beijing to take the exam. On the way, he fell ill and collapsed at the door of the prefecture. He was rescued by his mother and daughter. The woman took good care of him. Later, he recovered from the illness and came back from high school in Beijing to take the woman as his wife. There are two words written at the beginning of each line - bullying

Selected from "Shanghai Story"

Sculpture Dong Xing

In the square

A strange statue spread its legs

Half squatting on the ground, a tourist asked the tour guide in surprise: "Shen Li has been in prison for more than half a month, but he still hasn't seen the county magistrate. He asked the jailer why he didn't. director. The jailer told him: "The county magistrate's son has been seriously poisoned. He has been seeking advice from famous doctors to no avail. Now he is about to die. How can he be promoted to a council member?" After hearing this, Dr. Li wanted to volunteer to give it a try, but he himself Just after a mistake resulted in a death, I gave up because I was still frightened. What does this statue mean?" The tour guide said: "It's like this

They originally wanted to sculpture a great man riding a horse

But when it came time to carve a horse

The funds are not enough..."

Selected from "Legends of Modern and Ancient Times? Story Edition"

Stand a little longer, Laosan

A woman stood in the middle of a busy road The man in the middle of the road shouted: "Hello

Mr. Police

How to get to the hospital?"

Policeman: "Stand there for a while longer

Someone will take you to the hospital. "

Selected from "March 3"

The most frugal method

A certain village held a "Diligence and Thrift Promotion Association"

Village After the leader emphasized the importance of the meeting

the villagers spoke enthusiastically, Lao Zhao said: "I think the funeral habits in our village are very bad

It's too wasteful

It should be changed. From now on, don’t buy coffins for dead people

Just bury them directly

Save money and wood. Uncle Liu said: "I think this is a good idea, but it's not economical enough." I think I can save more money

In the future, I will bury people vertically

to avoid taking up too much farmland..." He trailed off

Liu from the village Second suggested: "I support

but we can save more.

I suggest

When burying people in the future, you can only bury half of them

and expose the other half

to avoid erecting tombstones!"

Selected from "Folk" Legendary Story"

Postgraduate entrance examination Fugitives Ancient Xuanwu Sect King Qin Spring and Autumn Period Sima Xiangru Zhuo Wenjun Han Xin Classics