Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Do you want to sleep after reading it? Love is not possessive.

Do you want to sleep after reading it? Love is not possessive.

if a woman shows you her body, will she definitely clap with you? If a woman has no scruples about you and seems to do what she wants in front of you, will she like you?

? Near the Spring Festival, almost all the company systems are on holiday, but the tavern is open for business at night.

Although the shopkeepers are not satisfied with the physical fitness of Huang Xiaoxian, the shopkeeper, who works overtime during the Spring Festival without raising his salary, they still bury MMP in their hearts and show a smile when they see Huang Xiaoxian.

Xiao Fei, the shop assistant, and Xiao Yang are two handsome boys in charge of the bar, no matter mixing wine, coffee or various drinks and snacks.

women often say that a boyfriend doesn't have to be handsome or rich, but he must cook.

However, Xiaofei and Xiao Yang are both single dog with a good workmanship, good looks and good temper.

In their spare time, two' dogs' always like to get together and talk nonsense. When two men meet, there is nothing to say except discussing women.

They have come to a lot of conclusions about women. The main reason why they are single is the word' poor'. After all, I really dare not fall in love with very little money on me.

? "Tell me, little sample, what should this woman do before you can properly handle her?"

Xiao Fei suddenly asked Xiao Yang a yellow question, and Xiao Yang was a little embarrassed.

In his mind, the scene in the yellow film suddenly appeared. For an older virgin, he can only make up the picture in the small video of the island country, as long as two people stay in one place, they can crash no matter what.

"If she takes off her clothes in front of you, should it be ok?"

Before the sample talk was finished, Xiao Yu, another shop assistant, took off his sweater in front of them.

Xiao Yu is the only salesgirl. She looks sweet and has a hot figure, especially a pair of D-sized steamed buns. It seems that they all walk with their own rock music, which perfectly interprets the words' children's face and big breasts'.

? Xiaoyu is a girl who pays attention to connotation. When the weather is cold, she always wraps her body tightly. When she feels hot, she is willing to take off her sweater.

And every time Xiaoyu takes off her sweater, the eyes of Xiao Yang and Xiao Fei stop at her proud upper circumference, which is simply a sense of sight for domestic blockbusters.

"what are you looking at? Don't have to work? "

Huang Xiaoxian didn't know when he was standing behind them. One of them gave them a small punch and sent them to work.

After Xiaofei left, Huang Xiaoxian also stared at Xiaoyu's upper circumference for a few seconds, then looked at his upper circumference and quickly tightened his coat. She said, what do little girls eat now? So nutritious?

? Half an hour later, the first guest of the day came to the store. He was also a frequent visitor. His name was Zhou Mao, and he was a programmer.

Zhou Mao often comes to the pub for a drink with a woman. Both of them are not very good at drinking. They often get drunk after drinking a little, and hug each other and leave, but it is said that they are not lovers.

"Mr. Zhou, are you alone today?" Xiaoyu stepped forward to give Zhou Mao an order and asked politely.

"Yes, Xiao Yu, give me a bottle of white and two appetizers."

After ordering the meal, Xiaoyu returned to the bar, handed the order to the sample, smiled sweetly, and said inexplicably, "Did you get sand in your eyes?"

Xiao Yu glared at him and walked away with his mouth curled.

Zhou Mao's capacity for alcohol is really poor. Usually, half a bottle of white can make him talk nonsense, and he actually drank a bottle in one breath. After drinking, Zhou Mao began to ramble in the lobby of the pub. No one listened to him, so he just found someone to talk to.

? Originally, no one was interested in his story, but later, he suddenly said, "She let me see it all and didn't sleep with me. Do you think she is playing me?"

Hearing such a topic of stimulating hormones, Xiao Yang and Xiao Fei quickly finished what they were doing, walked out of the bar and sat on Zhou Mao's desk, as seriously as students listened to the teacher.

"Mr. Zhou, tell me your story."

"Do you want to hear it?" Zhou Mao was drunk and confused, and finally someone took care of him. "Okay, I said."

Zhou Mao is a foreigner. Although he is a programmer, it is still difficult to work in the city. He lives in a rented house and shares it.

But what is enviable is that his roommate is a beautiful woman, Liao Ting, who often goes to the pub with him to drink and often gets drunk together.

"have you seen her all? I ... "I slapped you." I killed you. "

It's like a goddess being arched by a pig. I can't accept the fact that a beautiful woman like Liao Ting was completely naked by a four-eyed frog like Zhou Mao who has no face and no personality and a poor capacity for drinking. Fortunately, Xiaofei stopped him.

? Liao Ting is a colleague of Zhou Mao, a foreigner, and a fellow villager with Zhou Mao. At first, Zhou Mao just wanted to find someone to share the rent, so he let Liao Ting move into his own rented house. Anyway, there is an empty room in two bedrooms and one living room, so there is no need for nothing.

ever since they lived together, they have often talked all night. The so-called fellow villagers are in tears when they meet each other. If they are unhappy in the workplace or unhappy at home, they will talk to each other.

As time goes by, the feelings between two people become more and more confusing. In the company, they are like strangers.

I don't know. When they got home, they talked about everything. They both saw each other make a fool of themselves when they were drunk.

? Zhou Mao's work is relatively complicated. Every day after work, Liao Ting will wait for him downstairs in the company and then go home together.

When it rains, Zhou Mao will change his shy character, grab the umbrella in Liao Ting's hand to hold it for her, and let himself suffer from the rain.

Sometimes they will eat out together, and sometimes they will go shopping together and cook at home, so as to get rid of the life of a young couple. Compared with other couples, it seems that the only thing left is sleeping together.

"you say, you say." Zhou Mao patted the table. "Do you think she likes me?"

Is it really love that two people snuggle and warm each other together?

In a strange city, you will always meet some people who feel lonely and long for a hug when they are cold. When they are extremely cold and lonely, can anyone hug them?

? Sometimes, it's really an illusion. It's not snuggling up to each other or love. Maybe it's just because it's too cold, maybe it's just because the night is too quiet, or maybe it's just because a person is really lonely.

One day, Zhou Mao drank wine as usual, and when he got home, he found Liao Ting's room door half open, which made him curious. Originally, as a man, he should be a gentleman. Even if a girl's boudoir is wide open, he should be in see no evil.

but everyone knows the truth. It's just that under the condition of androgen stimulation and Zhou Mao's drinking a little wine, how can he care so much?

Liao Ting is trying on her newly bought underwear, and she has only taken off her underpants. She didn't expect Zhou Mao to come back so early, so she forgot to close the door. Maybe it's because she was too involved in trying on clothes, maybe it's because Zhou Mao's footsteps were too small for her to notice.

"ah! ! !”

When seeing Zhou Mao, Liao Ting's first reaction was to cover the upper circumference, but in fact, Zhou Mao had seen it all.

"Zhou Mao, you smelly rascal, get out."

"Tingting, you are so beautiful."

Zhou Mao didn't know why he said such a thing, and even wanted to jump on him.

"beast."

Even though the matter has passed, I can't listen to it anymore. I want to give him a good beating with my fist, but I am still held by Xiaofei.

? Zhou Mao went on to say that Liao Ting didn't really blame him, but only kicked him out of the room. When she got dressed and came out of the room, Zhou Mao was already drunk and lying on the stool asleep.

However, after that time, Liao Ting never waited for him after work, never went shopping with him again, and even when he bought delicious food or cooked some hometown food to call her, she snaked and refused.

"Do you know? When she ignores me, I am no different from death. " Zhou Mao slapped the table again. "I regret it. How can I hurt her like this?"

"now you know you regret it?" The demo stared at him. "It's good that you didn't kill you."

"I told her later, but she didn't accept me." Zhou Mao said and cried.

At this moment, Xiao Yu and Huang Xiaoxian came over. It turned out that all the guests didn't know when to start gathering, so they wanted to hear Zhou Mao finish his story.

? Men's so-called love is more impulsive. Before watching the scene of Liao Ting changing clothes, Zhou Mao never thought about whether he liked Liao Ting or not.

Maybe it's because he got everything he deserved, and when he looked at Liao Ting's body, he found that he still didn't get it.

"that's not love, it's just possessiveness." Huang Xiaoxian said contemptuously, "Do you know why she ignored you but didn't move away?"

Yes, although Liao Ting didn't talk to Zhou Mao again, she didn't move out of their shared house.

is it because of money? Obviously not. Although Liao Ting's income is not high, it won't make her a little white rabbit live with the wolf for this money.

why is that? Because she loves Zhou Mao. But she didn't dare to believe that women need a sense of security. When two people snuggle up to each other for a long time, they don't know if they love the person who has been with them, and they don't dare to guess whether the other person really likes themselves.

? "I love her, and I want to sleep with her. I feel uncomfortable."

At first, people who came to see the joke watched Zhou Mao cry like a child, and they all comforted him. Even the demo who wanted to beat him at first began to believe that Zhou Mao was not only possessive but also deeply in love with Liao Ting.

Just as everyone encouraged Zhou Mao to go home and tell Liao Ting again, the door of the pub was pushed open and Liao Ting was the one who came in.

She seemed to know that everyone was talking about her, but she didn't show embarrassment. Instead, she went directly to Zhou Mao.

"Tingting, are you here?" Zhou Mao's tears haven't dried yet. "You believe me, Tingting, I really love you. I can't live without you."

"You're drunk, go home."

? This is the first time since that that Liao Ting spoke to Zhou Mao so gently. At this time, like a child, Zhou Mao stood up obediently and followed Liao Ting. She didn't care about other people's eyes and helped the drunken Zhou Mao out of the pub.

"Xiao Fei." The sample looked at their backs and tugged at Xiaofei's clothes. "Do you think the goddess will be slept by him tonight?"

"none of your business?"

Xiaofei pushed away the sad-looking demo and sent the other guests back to their seats to eat.

At this time, Huang Xiaoxian found Xiaoyu outside the door.

"what's the matter? Sitting alone outside the door in a daze? "

"Boss, do you think that men will never grow up and never know the mind of girls?"

"According to common sense, yes." Huang Xiaoxian looked into the distance. "But when they want to protect someone from the heart, maybe they will become more mature."

Looking back, there was laughter in the pub, and Huang Xiaoxian smiled slightly. There were always too many people in the middle of the night, and there were too many stories to tell. Can someone be willing to tell and listen? It should be very warm this winter, right?