20 19 tell me funny.

1. If you are destined to depend on others, choose an ideal environment.

2. I want to have a home. I have a TA at home. What is it during the day and at night?

The person I love has been taken away, and the person who loves me is terrible.

4. My ears are not trash cans. Don't throw anything here.

Don't praise me handsome behind my back, which is known all over the world.

6. Because I don't like to tidy my room, they all call me the hero of messy room.

7. Does that man dare to say that he is pure? Look at your eyes, they are muddy.

I'm sorry to see you unhappy. I'm even sadder to see you happy.

I see, you don't love me, so you shouldn't waste your energy.

10, when in love, couples often lament what virtue they have accumulated in their previous lives; After marriage, couples often think about what crimes they committed in their previous lives.

1 1, I am really grateful to those who have hit me and let me learn to hit others.

12, don't trust any girl with a nice voice. With what? Because I'm a courier.

13, in love life, what is more terrible than not finding a sense of security? I can't find a condom.

14, oh, I must be a gangster. I can't help kissing you in the photo as soon as I see our photo.

15, there is no fate of separation and aging in this world, only a heart willing to love and a heart unwilling to love.

16, perverts only consider children in the city. What should rural children do when they go home?

17, tell me, do you want to die or not?

18, others regard me as a desert, and I regard myself as peerless.

19, you don't help me when I am in trouble, I just watch when you are in trouble. I don't lack icing on the cake, I thank you for your timely help!

I haven't been in contact with society for a long time, but I didn't expect to be so open now.

2 1, my mother asked me why I didn't clean my room. This is a joke. I am a beauty in a messy room.

22. I never bully the weak. I really didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him.

23. Confucius said: No matter how ugly you are, you must fall in love. When the world is full of love.

24. It is said that women are made of water and men are made of mud; Is that shemale made of cement?

The saddest thing in the world is that the homework is written late and the teacher won't check it tomorrow!

26. Where the law of the jungle prevails, people will not sympathize with the weak.

27. If you don't expect it, you won't be sad if you lose it, but you will be surprised if you get it.

28, feelings, your face is ass, at most chrysanthemum, even if you spray shit, you have to spray shit.

29. Money can help what you can't bring.

Your parents are happy because of you, because you are too much like them, and you are not like a bought child.

3 1, the most romantic thing I can think of is watching you grow old alone.

Maybe you are not the only reason why I smile, but you must be my favorite person.

33. When a man doesn't belong to you, let you sigh what is perfect; When she belongs to you, let you sigh what is true.

34. I'm handsome in your list, so don't say anything.

Never regret, because it's useless.

My heart is as quiet as ice, but you and she have paralyzed my nerves again.

37. When I went to assassinate sogou, sogou cried and asked me why. I grinned and said, ask Baidu in the underworld.

38. Because you are young, you have abundant capital. When you are young, it should be vigorous.

39. No matter how beautiful a brother's woman is, she won't touch it, and no matter how handsome a girlfriend's man is, she won't grab it. You can do it, you know. If not, get out.

40. The longer I have contact with you, the more I like dogs. Dogs are always dogs, and people are sometimes not people.

I admit that I have a bad memory, but I never forget to bring my mobile phone when I go out.

42, the distance of happiness, has opened tens of thousands of kilometers.

43. Your daughter-in-law is used to being shameless. This is called love.

44. The quality of the teacher's class determines the flow of mobile phones this month.

45. Life is a chapter full of regrets, because she doesn't have a chance for you to correct sick sentences.

46. I usually write two situations: one is that I have lost my mind, and the other is that I want to pretend to be forced.

47. Because he didn't know how to cherish, he missed the person who loved him deeply.

48, the tide of wearing, the tide of non-mainstream, wearing sexy, sexy is sitting on the stage.

49. I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I'm afraid I'll be surprised if I open the lid and enjoy another bottle!

50. When you are young, there will always be someone who transcends friendship, unlike love.

5 1, I firmly believe that my love for you can stand the test like a hot dog on the fire.

You left me one by one, and I don't know if I should abandon you.

53. The world belongs to us and our sons, but in the end it belongs to those grandchildren!

54. The death of one person is a tragedy, but the death of millions of people is only a statistic.

55. I won't frown easily who you love now.

56. For those husbands who give big red envelopes, I just want to ask, how do you run your family? Why does your husband have so much money?

I will never forget my ex-boyfriend. Because he owes me money.

58. The reason why I smoke is simple: My grandfather smokes, and so does my father, so it's my turn not to break the fragrance this time.

59. Don't say you love me. Give me a wedding if you can.

60. Maybe I am too fat and occupy too many positions, so I can't always appear in your heart.

Please don't seduce my man with your commotion.

62, not to be a simple and excellent person, but to be an irreplaceable person.

63. Beauty makes people stop, but wisdom makes people stay.

64. The existence of tears proves that sadness is not an illusion.

65. Some experts say that the first love is the most unforgettable, and the second person is the favorite.

66, the departure of the stool, is the pursuit of the toilet, or the ass does not retain.

67. It takes only two steps to make a girl crazy: first, take a picture of her. Step two, don't let her see the photos.

68. The old woman smiled back and fascinated the nuns.

69. When you first met Paeonia lactiflora, God said four words in your ear and it was doomed.

70. I swear, I have never taken an oath casually.

7 1, Xiong Er said Xiong Da, look at your bear, Xiong Da said there should be bears in Xiong Er.

72. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

73. Let ghosts and gods know that we have done bad things and always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We are too difficult for ghosts and gods.

74. Don't play with me, or I'll play along.

75. I am heartless. I cry because I added my finger.

76. Last night, I was most afraid of playing with my mobile phone during my self-study. The whole school was blacked out, and then a white light came from you.

77. There are many dates that I lost to my unwashed head.

When you realize that the price of a diamond is much higher than that of a glass bead, you will grow up sadly!

79. What good is it if a man gains the whole world but loses his own life?

80. It always hurts when I miss you, and I can't see the edge when I miss you.

8 1. If you hold the past too tightly, how can you make room to embrace the present?

Funny, tell me 20 19. Tell me.

1, no ideal, no pursuit, no appeal, only to collapse.

2, a girl like me, can't a little weight suppress her beauty?

3, my temper is like this, I can't help it if I don't like it.

4. Dong made a wish and worried all the way.

5. What are the obstacles? Besides, your legs are so long.

6. After you confessed to me last time, I was TM ill for several days. Please stop!

7. Love is love for a heart, not a face falling in love with a face.

8. The biggest sorrow in life is that youth is gone and acne is still there.

9, a class and a harem, there are always a few bitches vying for favor.

10, the man cried because he really loved; The woman cried because she really gave up.

1 1. Farewell does not mean loss, but a new beginning.

12, that who, stop fooling around and come to my hukou book.

13, I finally know why I lick Oreos, because then no one dares to rob me again.

14, I said I love making friends, especially boyfriends.

15, people who pretend to be B think you are awesome because you pretend?

16, all the other daughters are my mother's sweet little cotton-padded jacket, and I am a butcher knife stabbed in my mother's heart.

17, not everyone has everything, and not everyone has nothing.

18, there is a kind of fill-in-the-blank question called not knowing at all, a kind of multiple-choice question called looking right, and a kind of calculation question called crying while doing.

19, God gave us acne while giving us youth!

20, home is not a harbor for men after drifting! A woman's body is.

2 1, can you make me angry once, just once, please?

In order to find my prince, I will kiss all the frogs in the world.

23. Pay attention to your image in the school sports meeting. Otherwise, if you are not careful, alas, it will become my expression pack.

24. There must be a girl like me who sweats after getting dressed in the shower.

25. The advantage of being a madman is that I don't have to find absurd reasons to do something wrong, because I am a madman.

26. There is a relationship that you think about how to be with her every day, and she thinks about how not to be with you every day!

27. Each of us is a person, the love of our lives.

28. The highest state of being a woman is a demon! But you accidentally turned into a monster!

29. You betrayed me and expect me to forgive you. If you are a dog, don't expect me to treat you like a human being.

Be nice to your boyfriend in the future. After all, he is the best person in the world.

3 1, I'm willing to go over Qian Shan to see you, and I'm willing to take a hundred steps back and leave you.

Let's gallop together and live happily together.

I have given you my mobile phone number. Why don't you understand my mind? Charge me dozens of dollars if you need anything.

I hate Qin Shihuang. He burned the book, but he didn't finish it.

35. If you are willing to peel my heart layer by layer, you will find that you will be surprised at my lack of mind.

36. Did this famous brand (his own name) feel very powerful before wearing it?

37. I suddenly feel that I am the only one left in the world, and there is indifference everywhere!

38. I can bring you prosperity or make you notorious.

39. Brother is not lonely, but spring; I don't call it loneliness, I call it bed.

40. Only tall people are called high cold, and short people are called quick-frozen dwarfs.

4 1, the lingering concern has become the end of the world for you and him.

42. It was agreed not to make me cry, but you smoked me with fucking onions.

43. Even if someone says I'm crazy, I'll look up and say to him contemptuously, are you in the same hospital as me?

Your mother must have been anxious, absent-minded and so hasty when she gave birth to you.

45. It's not so much that others make you suffer, but that you don't have enough self-cultivation.

46. Don't be proud that you are just a tree. The whole forest is behind me.

47. I am in Jianghu, but there is no legend of me in Jianghu.

48. Once many people are separated, they may never see each other again.

49. Brave people carve their own destiny, and everyone is the pioneer of their own destiny.

50. What are brothers drinking, smoking, fighting, picking up girls and being chic together?

5 1, because it's so-called, it seems meaningless. The more you want a relationship, the more you dare not give it.

52. Sichuan is like Oreo. Earthquakes twist first, mudslides lick again, and floods soak again.

53. If you are gravity, I will never resist and redefine the level.

54. I am most afraid of long and short time, and I am most afraid of deep and shallow love.

You left without looking back, leaving me alone in the same place, at a loss.

56. Why do men who don't have six-pack abdominal muscles say that women have small breasts, and why don't they have a D membrane of cm?

57. Going to school is hard and tiring. Don't go to school like me!

58. There are only two kinds of mathematical proof questions, one is lying trough, which can be proved, and the other is lying trough, which can also be proved.

59. I can see you with a slight turn or even a blink of an eye. Really annoying, I like you more and more.

60. Don't expect to lose weight. Bajie has walked 108000 miles without losing weight. Besides, he is a vegetarian.

6 1, the person who will marry me in a few years, I hope it is you, it must be you, and it can only be you!

62. If you are not crazy, you will be old, and if you don't review at the end of the term, you will be finished.

63. When are you most afraid of ghosts? When you walk alone at night. When do you like ghosts best? When playing cards.

If my love hurts a person, then I will give up my love.

65. There are no windtight walls and no hanging beams.

66. During the summer vacation, I was scolded four times a day at home: I don't get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, I don't want to eat, and I don't sleep at night.

67. Is it popular to roll up your trouser legs now? I want to ask you, is it cold?

68. We often say that the feelings we want are lifelong, but it is really too difficult.

69. Don't expect others to give you any financial help. Money is not enough for anyone.

70. People who live only once should live in arrogance.

7 1, if you ignore me, I will become a steamed stuffed bun, and it is the most famous in Tianjin.

72. Don't cry, I'll be scared. Because your sad face looks so ferocious.

73. You have an expression that only your mother will like. If you don't work hard, it's over!

74. It is said that men fool women, which is called flirting; Women fool men, that's seduction.

75. My figure is perfect, so there is no need to make a fuss about my body parts.

76. Use your time to do something that reminds you of me.

77. As a moral foodie, the most important thing is not only to eat, but also to dare to do it.

78. A message was sent in the circle of friends, saying that I was lovelorn, and someone comforted others, sympathized with others and was bored.

79. The sky that just rained took away the dust, but it couldn't take away my heart pain.

80. None of the freshmen are serious, and they don't rob the seniors, so they rob the food.

8 1, tie your hair high, throw away snacks, put down your mobile phone, dry your tears, and stop bothering yourself, girl, you still have a future.

20 19 humorous talk.

1, the right time, the right place and the right people, the right feelings, the wrong characters.

2, don't fight, don't fight, life is in vain, life is boring.

Winter is white, Christmas is red and eyes are blue.

4, the love paid, the heart handed over, how to recover, in the end it is still scarred.

Who do you think you are? The time to love you has passed.

6. The alarm clock only woke up my shell, but it couldn't wake up my sleeping heart.

7. Give me love, money or get out!

8. Humble vows always get me into trouble, even if I say them over and over again.

9. Life is Song Like Zude's mouth. You never know who will be unlucky next.

10, people in adversity may still survive, but I never had a loving home.

1 1. Please don't charge me. I have no money and can't afford caller ID.

12, it's not that I can't live without you, but that I will be swallowed up by my thoughts.

13, growing up like that, don't be coquetry, it's easy for people to have a pregnancy reaction.

14. If you lose someone, you will speak ill of others. Is such a person worth having?

15, those who have hurt me, please remember that one day I will laugh and watch you cry.

16, one person's efforts will never determine the relationship between two people!

17, the woman who can't cry is a monster, and the woman who can only cry is a waste.

18, when I left my hometown, the villagers could no longer drink a well water.

19, I feel like two pigs, because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

20. The more boring, the more boring. Sometimes when you talk, you don't want to live.

2 1, I haven't heard anyone brag about being so fresh and refined for a long time.

22. Youth is a heavy rain. Even if I have a cold, I still hope to take another bath in the future.

23. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually!

24, work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and broaden the horizon.

25. I swear. My mouth is intolerant. If I don't protect myself, who will?

26. The most fake sentence in the world is, classmate, let me say a few words briefly.

27, even if you are sad, you should smile and say: your uncle.

28. Life grinds us around and makes us roll further.

29. If I leave you one day, will you miss me?

Please change the paste before calling me stupid.

3 1, the chosen road must be adhered to, there is no need to complain about the hardships on the road.

32. Similar places and times, pretending not to see but meeting again.

33. People should have love. People who fall in love will not catch a cold easily and will be healthier.

Don't feel abandoned by the world. The world has no time to talk to you.

Let's talk about something, shall we? Don't always call me cute behind my back. Are you bored?

36. I think you are a professional weaver, specializing in catching penguins.

I want to take you to meet my parents, but my mother says I'm too young.

38. Treat everything as a process and eventually make yourself more mature.

39. Next to every alarm clock, there is a slacker who doesn't want to get up.

40. I really want to count the stars with you, but it's a pity that your IQ is too low and you can only count the moon.

4 1, in fact, you are nothing but a barking dog.

42, this is called loading! Hungry goods! Come to a snickers bar, and you will be soft when you are forced!

43, mathematics, three points rely on talent, seven points rely on hard work, and the remaining 90 is powerless.

44, love this thing, time is critical. It doesn't matter whether you meet too early or too late.

45. The sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come?

46. Once in a while, you will feel that it is great to live in silence, but it is miserable to live in silence.

47. Be a carefree eater and an idle eater.

48. Once you were my biggest dream, now you are someone I dare not remember.

49. When I miss you, you are in my heart. When I forget you, you will be forgotten!

I am invisible, because I want to know if you can't see me online, will you find me?

5 1, don't think that just because you look like a wolf, I can treat you as a big pervert.

Because I love you wholeheartedly, I can only give you up mercilessly.

53. All the bad things you can do when you are young have been done. There are only a few years left.

54. In fact, 10086 is also very gaudy, caring about so many people every day.

Nowadays, people call their sons rabbits and pet dogs sons.

56. When you were born, how did you avoid all human beings perfectly?

57. The dream is to count money until your hand cramps. The reality is to count money until you wake up naturally.

58. In this world, there will always be more people watching your jokes than those who care about you.

59. Some things are not that I don't care, but what if I care.

60. I was dumbfounded and black and blue; Looking back suddenly, it is unsightly.

6 1. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time.

62. One side effect of success is the belief that what was done in the past is also applicable to the future.

63. I believe that you are just afraid of hurting me, not lying to me. You love me very much, and who will give up?

64, a cup of hot tea, warm is the body; An understanding word warms the heart.

65. I am always in tears, but I don't change my original intention, thinking that persistence is forever.

66. There are a lot of herbs in the world, so why look for them online? Small quantity and poor quality.

67. What is unshakable is feelings, and it is nothing to collapse at one blow.

68. Rabbits don't eat grass beside their nests, and the quality is not good. Why don't they look around?

Please give me enough sunshine to make my heart bright.

70. Dear, please give me some sunshine to make me brilliant.

7 1, what's the problem? Besides, my legs are still so long.

72. It will be dark and the road will be slippery. On the way home, you may not know who is more cunning than you.

73. I'm a little crazy and my speech is a bit shocking. Please call me Lei Feng!

74, white camel mountain strong bone powder, a knife to apply a bag, but also want to get a second knife.

75. We had a free and easy youth, but we are facing a regretful old age.

76. People who like it can stick to it naturally, and those who don't like it won't last long.

77. I'd like to be your best listener and watch you pretend from beginning to end.

78. Utaoki once adopted; You can't judge a book by its cover, but a mistress can't judge a book by its cover.

79. Love is a road, friends are pigs, there is only one road in life, and there will be many pigs on the road!

80. Love is not brought by life, nor by death.

8 1, in a few words, comfort yourself, satirize yourself and stick to yourself!

20 19 is super funny. Tell me about it.

1, probably because I like it so much that I can compromise everything.

2, too many excuses, too many reasons, and I betrayed everything for love!

It's shameless to be jealous of me when you are obviously better looking than me.

When summer comes, the quilt is not for covering, but for hugging.

You're here. I'll pick you up in the storm. When you leave, thunder will blow you away.

6, don't give me a discharge, because I have a caller ID here.

7, mental society, money takes people; You can be expensive or free.

I don't want you to dream about me. I want you to stay awake for me.

9. Your breath stinks worse than a pig's fart, and a dog barks better than you, you big beast.

10, someone said I was handsome, and I smiled. As a result, they said I was more handsome when I smiled.

1 1, the most attractive one is Master Kong, and millions of people are hitting on him.

12, when a person gets rid of his fear, he will feel extremely carefree and comfortable.

13, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

14, lucky money is something for adults. Show us on the way.

15, the species of animals are decreasing, but the species of people are increasing?

16, we are all children, children who cry when they are injured, and naively interpret our youth.

17, you see that your family is poor, and even the mice go to your house with tears.

18, Want Want breaks the ice, you are my half, you are my other half.

19 my, uh, him, where are you? Was there a traffic jam on the way here?

20. Eating KFC and drinking Erguotou is the ninth wonder in the world!

2 1, life is like a play, I am empty and lonely, because I live too much.

22. Smart people rely on strength in exams, while I generally rely on imagination in exams.

23. I heard that laughter often makes people old. Does crying often make you younger?

Modesty makes people progress, progress makes people proud, and pride makes people lag behind.

25. I can't leave my sight with eyes as clear as a lake.

26. Instead of being a walk-on in other people's lives, it is better not to be yourself wonderfully.

27. Where there is Sun Moon Lake, the daughter believes in the tears shed by her mother.

28, let the world bow is a domineering. Letting go is courage.

29, the so-called implication, pig skull, you will never guess.

Don't believe the oath that the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, because we can't wait for that day.

3 1, take my advice, it doesn't matter if your brain is empty, just don't go into the water.

You get my heart too easily, so you must waste it.

The best thing I can think of is selling computers with you.

One thing is to learn history well. If you can't do it, you can cross it that day.

It is said that people who can't sleep at night are awake in other people's dreams.

36, this king promised you a brilliant life, and quickly forgot the scum for Lao Zi.

37. If you like someone but are afraid to confess to him, you will eventually be taken away by others.

38. If he says goodbye, I will never stay, not once.

39. Even if you want to cry again, you should smile and say: You are an uncle!

40. I don't think you are really a qualified friend. You'd better change careers and be my wife!

4 1, I think, I am a madman, a madman who can't even grasp love.

42. Hugs are really beautiful. Although two hearts are close together, they can't see each other's faces.

43. Anything is possible as long as we have confidence.

44. I suddenly found that I have a super power, which is to avoid all the correct answers.

45. The classification of love letters in books should belong to science fiction!

Sometimes, I don't blink, I just don't want my tears to flow so simply.

47. We often say that the feelings we want are lifelong, but it is really too difficult.

48. Playing with people requires calculation. Play with me, and I'll make you feel overwhelmed.

I don't like sad fairy tale endings, but I like you very much.

50. Draw a circle and curse that if you don't chat with me, your mobile phone will fall into the toilet.

5 1, smoking too much is bad for your health, so try to smoke.

52. I suddenly feel that I am the only one left in the world, and there is indifference everywhere!

53. Learning to protect yourself is more important than anything else. I endure too much and finally get tired.

54. Don't trust any girl with a nice voice. With what? Because I'm a courier.

55. I am a fool, waiting for a madman who loves me very much.

56. God only gave me one wing, so we fly with love!

57. I enjoy a moment's blank in my mind every day, and my thoughts are relatively simple.

58. Waiting is not expecting you to come back. Just, make an excuse not to go.

59, not to be a simple and excellent person, but to be an irreplaceable person.

60. Buddha said: Hit people with bricks, beg for mercy, and manage well. Try harder if you are not dead.

6 1, if you are as light as a feather to me, don't expect yourself to be Mount Tai in my heart.

62. Just when I stressed the need to keep a low profile. But you have to give me applause and scream.

63. Those memories that I can't let go eventually become shackles and I can't escape.

It's not your fault that you want to be a mistress, but it's your fault to come to college!

Teacher, if you ignore the bell again, we will ignore it.

66. When money spoke out, all the truths were silent.

67. One short step makes a long regret, and then look back and be immersed in love.

Mosquito, born for my blood. I live to kill mosquitoes.

69. The reason why flowers are inserted into cow dung is because cow dung has special nutrition.

70. The road is your choice. No matter what lies ahead, you must go on by yourself.

7 1, the eternal law of junior high school. The first day is depressed, the second day is fresh meat, and the third day is handsome!

72. Being together is a dream, but being apart is painful. Is the unfinished dream the most painful?

73. If it's wrong to have money, I'd rather make the same mistake again.

74. What is love? Is to slap you and let you learn to grow.

75. Love is love for a heart, not a face falling in love with a face.

76. A simple love story ruined many people's youth.

77. A man's brain likes a woman's heart, but his eyes like her appearance.

78. I stumbled and understood a lot, but I was reluctant but helpless.

79. Doraemon said, Bear, what you want is not me, but a pocket. Bear was silent.

Since I bought insurance, I don't have to look at the traffic lights when crossing the road.

8 1, the teacher was reluctant to buy an air conditioner, but printed so many test papers. I am deeply gratified.

82. My future is a dream. Unfortunately, I still have insomnia.

This idiom is actually used to describe ancient and modern female artists!

84. The difference between an open book and a closed book is that one is copied from the top and the other is copied from the bottom.

85. There is no reason to struggle for life. Even if you run in the wind and rain, make yourself smile!

86, don't try to teach pigs to sing, not only there is no result but also make pigs unhappy!

87. Thank you for accompanying me through that blooming season.

88. The whole world smells of love, and I am the only one who smells of single dog.

89. When a man foresees a woman, he will get lost; When a man foresees his wife, he will be confused.

90. For me, living is a compromise with God.