A hilarious joke

One, two bananas were walking, one was hot, so he took off his clothes and threw it on the ground. As a result, the banana behind him slipped on the banana skin.

Second, in Guandi Temple, everyone smelled fart. Xiao Ming asked whose it was, and everyone said that it was not put by himself. Xiao Ming said angrily, "Whoever set it free should be ashamed." Suddenly, Guan Yu jumped down from the altar and beat Xiao Ming: "I was born to blush!" " ! ! "

Thirdly, Xiao Ming is afraid of the dark, because there will be ghosts at night, but one day, he thought of a way to turn himself into a ghost, so he was not afraid. So he killed himself. ...

4. A fat man ..........................................................................................................................................................................

5. The best colorful animal is koala, because it always holds the tree (trunk); The most open animals are zebras, which are black and white; The most likely animal to fall is the fox, because: it is cunning (its feet are slippery); The most disoriented thing is Sixiang, because its name is Elk (Lost).

6. Once upon a time, a dog pulled out four poops. When the owner saw a button stuck in the dog's P file.

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

Eight, the earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself into two pieces to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! Father earthworm said weakly. ... I suddenly want to play football. "

Q: One day, it took a bird 1 hour to fly from Kaohsiung to Taipei. But it took 2 hours to get back! Why? Because it is raining! So cover the rain with one hand and let it fly with the other.

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "

Three little pigs, who is pig A, where is pig B and what is pig C? One day, pig a and

Pig is at the door, and pig C is on the roof. A wolf found them and wanted to eat them, so he rushed to pig A. ...

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What?

Pig A: What's on the roof?

Wolf: I mean what's your name?

Pig A: Who's my name and what's on the roof?

The wolf asked pig B again.

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig B: Who am I? (Pointing to pig A)

Wolf: You know, Pig B: Mm-hmm.

Wolf: Who is it?

Pig B: Yes.

Wolf: What?

Pig B: What's on the roof?

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: Where am I?

Wolf: Who?

Pig B: Who is it? (pointing to pig head a again)

Wolf: How should I know?

Pig B: Who are you looking for?

Wolf: What?

Pig B: On the roof.

Wolf: Where?

Pig B: It's me.

Wolf: Who?

Pig B: I'm not who, but who.

Wolf: Good heavens!

Pig A Pig B: "My God" is our father.

Wolf: What, it's your father?

Pig B: No.

The wolf couldn't stand it any longer and sighed, "Why?"

Pig ABC: Do you know our grandfather?

Wolf: What?

Pig A: No, why our grandfather.

Wolf: Why?

Pig A: Yes!

Wolf: What's this?

Pig A: No, it's why.

Wolf: Who?

Pig A: Who am I?

Wolf: Who are you?

Pig A: Yes, who am I?

Wolf: What?

Pig AB: On the roof.

……

Finally, the wolf committed suicide.

2. I took my photo as a computer desktop on a whim … and then the computer was poisoned …

The temperature has dropped recently. I saw a Hercules on the highway, driving a convertible and wearing a motorcycle helmet.

4. Batch homework, see students do geometry problems without drawing, casual remarks: no picture, no truth ~

5. My girlfriend wants to check the phone bill, and sends a text message to 10086: How much is my phone bill left?

6. Go to dinner with colleagues after work today. We ordered a plate of scrambled eggs with Chili peppers and found a hair in it. Then my colleague picked up his hair with chopsticks and shouted, boss ~ ~ What is this? When the boss saw it, he shouted, Come on! Change a pair of chopsticks for this lady.

7. The first time I went to eat Italian pizza, I didn't know what to eat, so I ordered a set meal in 8 yuan, 38 yuan, and a cheese.

After dinner, I found something missing. I thought there was a piece of cheese missing, so I shouted, "Waiter, why hasn't my cheese been served yet?" I ate it all. Should I let others eat it?

Waiter: Sir, your cheese has been poured on your pizza. ...

Me: Nothing, you go and get busy. ...

8. After going to physical education class in the morning, I was so hungry that I went to a restaurant to eat. There were too many people, too crowded and too messy, so I shouted to my aunt who was cooking, "Hurry up!" Aunt shouted to the cook inside, "Come into the house quickly! Beggars are impatient.

9. My brother went to a primary school to play basketball and heard a junior girl ask a junior boy, "Do you love me or not?" The boy said helplessly, "My mother gives me 3 yuan a day, of which 2.5 yuan is for you to buy snacks. Do you think I love you or not? " ..

10. My husband took me to work in the morning and left. Then I suddenly received his text message: "I just sent that bitch away, and I'll find you right away, dear."

1 1. In the morning, there was a MM wearing a mask sitting next to the bus, and it was a window seat. The flu is very fierce now, and I don't feel anything. Everyone knows that there are many people in winter, and the bus windows are closed, so the smell on the bus is naturally worse. Everyone is frowning. But that MM's expression was natural. She took out a straw from her pocket and put it on the corner of her mouth, opened the window a crack, and greedily sucked the air outside. . . . . This move is by no means ordinary people. =

12. Our math teacher always likes to tell jokes that nobody laughs at.

Our whole class discussed making fun of him, and when he said the first sentence in class, we all laughed in unison.

He came that day and silently said that his father had passed away.

I laughed at once, and everyone else was silent.

13. When I lived in high school, a classmate came home and asked him to bring me something, so he sent a short message: burn me some clothes and money.

14. I suddenly received a phone call that day: "Guess who I am? Guess there is a gift! "

I guessed all possible people, and they were wrong. Later, I got angry and asked, "Who are you? Don't say I'm dead! "

As a result, the man said, "I'm a courier, and you have a package ..."

I vomited blood at that time.

15. I am a nurse. One day I was working the night shift. In the middle of the night, I suddenly remembered that my vegetables were confiscated. I was afraid of being stolen, so I called my sister and asked her to collect it for me. By the way, I stole some others'. After the phone call, I went to give the patient oral medicine. I entered the room gently, patted the patient gently, and said gently, Grandpa, get up and steal food.

16. I took the bus today, and the driver at one stop asked, "The back door is closed!" No one answered, so he closed the back door and started. This is a girl's faint voice in the carriage: "Open the door!" The driver braked angrily, suddenly opened the back door and shouted, "Get off quickly!" "Everyone in the car looked at the back door, but no one got off for a long time. They looked at each other inexplicably.

At this time, the woman in the car TV sent another voice: "Open the door!" "

17. I farted on the bus.

Seeing people waving around, their faces are full of pain.

I also waved.

The lady next to her turned and said, stop pretending.

18. There are frequent scandals in Wuhan University. I don't know if this counts. Wuhan University has a Zhouyi class. The teacher came in with a compass and walked around the classroom. Then, he spit out a sentence: students, it is not appropriate to have class today. Let's finish school.

19. One day at 4 o'clock in the middle of the night, a friend called and said, "Well, I just saw a missed call from you on my mobile phone last year, so I called to ask you what you wanted."

I was speechless at once.

20. After graduating from a high school, my classmate went to the highway intersection as a toll collector. One day, a Japanese man came to his window and asked for directions. Japanese fluent English made him unable to understand a word, but a strong sense of patriotism told him not to lose face in front of the Japanese, so he just smiled and nodded, "Yes, yes, yes ~!" "Then the Japanese rode his bike on the highway!

2 1. My wife and I went to the reclining Buddha Temple to play. My wife couldn't walk on the road, so I carried her.

An old woman saw it and said seriously, you see, you are also a scholar. My wife is ill, so it's no use going to the hospital earlier.

22. My house is rented to a Japanese guest. One day, a guest called me and said in fluent Chinese, "Sang, the natural gas at home is running out. Can you help me add it?" Since guests seldom bother me, I especially hope that I won't be inconvenienced by the house, so I asked, "Sang, are you dead now?" @ # ......% @ #, I felt something was wrong when the words came out. Fortunately, I am Japanese and don't understand the essence of Chinese. I actually replied, "I'm not dead yet. I think I'll die in three days!" "

23. After military training in senior high school, the first day of class is Chinese class.

I didn't rest at the same table, so I slept in class.

The teacher saw, "Students who are sleeping,

Please answer this question. "

My deskmate woke up with a tingle. "I won't ..."

Teacher: "concentrate on the class and stop sleeping."

Sit down! Then student 53 comes to answer this question. "

The deskmate stood up again: "Teacher, I won't ..."

The teacher fainted. "Sit down, and then the students will answer!"

The deskmate stood up and said, "Teacher, I really can't!" "

"Sit down! The representative of the Chinese class answered me! "

The deskmate stood up again: "Teacher, I am the representative of Chinese class ..."

24. When I got out of the carport and got the car, I saw no one around, so I bravely put a P, which caused a loud noise from the burglar alarm of the electric motorcycle next door.

25. By bus, I sit in the front row by the window.

Half an hour later, I put my head out of the window.

There's another buddy in the back row, his head sticking out of the window.

I shouted to him, "Hold your head up."

That buddy doesn't seem to be a fuel-efficient lamp either. He squinted and said, "Go ahead, it's none of your business."

I chickened out, and that guy chickened out. I turned to him and said very politely, "Please don't stick your head out of the window again."

I put my head out of the window for the second time.

I guess that guy has special self-esteem. He thinks you can reach out and I can reach out, so he sticks his head out of the window again.

I can't hold it any longer. Oh, that boy's face is covered with dust.

The buddy screamed, and my friend next to me, with a big waist and a round waist, said to the buddy, "What do you mean, you were greeted?"

26. I bought an ipod touch, and a friend told me that the screen is hard, no film is needed, and the buttons are fine. . Then I scratched it with my key. grass

27. Once, after the bell rang, a boy rushed into the classroom and rushed to the last row. The teacher said: some students are late and come in through the back door. Don't influence others! After the boy sat down, he took a bite of the steamed stuffed bun. He found a beautiful MM beside him and kept staring at her. He thought that MM didn't eat breakfast either, so he gave her the steamed stuffed bun politely. The teacher spoke again, and this time his face turned pale: some students forgot when they were late, and they still had breakfast in class. Don't give the steamed stuffed bun to the teacher!

28. My parents said that I stayed in a hotel with them when I was young. When I got up in the morning, they found me skillfully brushing my teeth with a toothbrush. The problem was that the washbasin in the hotel was higher than mine, so they asked me how to fill it. I took them into the toilet and pointed to the toilet. ...

100%: Soybean fell across the road. What has it become? Answer: Mung beans turn green. Q: Mung beans fell across the road. What has it become? A: Red beans-bleeding. Q: Red beans fell across the road. What has it become? Answer: Silkworm (residual) beans-falling. Q: Broad bean crossed the road and was run over by a car. What happened to them? Answer: lentils are squashed. Q: When lentils crossed the road, they were run over by a car. What has it become? Answer: potatoes were rolled into the soil. Q: The potato was run over by a car when crossing the street. What has it become? Answer: Soymilk. What would you do if you met a bear? Run faster than a bear. B. Run as fast as a bear. C, running slower than a bear. The person who chooses A is worse than an animal. The person who chooses B is an animal. People who choose C are worse than animals. Q: Why do people go to bed to sleep? A: Because the bed won't walk by itself! Q: The last thing you want to happen at a barbecue A: When do dogs get smaller and smaller? When the dog ran away. Q: What animal sticks to the wall most easily? A: Haibao asked: Who will help you eat when you are full? A: Longfei, because Longfei added: A puppy died while traveling in the desert. How did he die? A: He suffocated because there was no telephone pole to pee in the desert. Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole, but it was still suffocated. Why? A: There is a sticker on the dotted pole, which says "No peeing here" Q: A dog was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. Nothing was posted on it, but it was still stuffy. Why? A: Many puppies are waiting in line. Q: A puppy was traveling in the desert and found a telephone pole. There is nothing posted on it, and there is a queue. The result is still suffocating. Why? A: Because there are two beautiful dogs MM behind him, he is very embarrassed. Everyone knows that Superman protects the earth, so who will protect the city? Screensaver (city) q A potato was killed when it saw the steamed stuffed bun. What has the steamed stuffed bun become? A bean paste bag (bean paste bag) evaluation answer you have already evaluated! Good: 5 You have already evaluated it! General: 333->; You've already commented! Bad: 0 You have already evaluated it! Original: 5 You have already evaluated it! Non-original: 0 ↘ Awakening ↘ Single answer adoption rate: 25.5% 2010-10-0712:19 Satisfied answer favorable rate: 100%. ....