If this is a joke,

A man went to see his family doctor. He asked, "doctor, I'm getting married, but it's the first time for my girlfriend and me." Can you tell us what to do? 』

The doctor watched the man grow up, and when he heard this question, he was a little uncomfortable. He looked outside and said, "Look over there, have you seen two dogs in the park?" See what they are doing? Go home and do it. "

Two months later, when they met again, the doctor asked, "How is your sex life? 』

The man replied, "it's fine, but it's really cold to do it in the park, and people will peek."

Kong Xsheng, a well-known third-rate writer in Guangdong, came to the United States and bought a two-story duplex villa in California.

Because of the noise in the room facing the street, I hid in the room near the backyard all day, so the three rooms facing the street were empty.

One day, Mrs. Kong told Kong that since the three rooms in the front row were idle, it was better to rent them out. Kong agreed, of course, and personally wrote an advertisement for his wife, put it on the square stool in front of the dresser with glue on the back, and told her not to forget to post it.

Unexpectedly, when Mrs. Kong woke up, it was past the time to go to work in the city. She sat in front of the dressing table in a panic, and the wind went out. As soon as Mrs. Kong got into the subway, she heard several men whispering behind her, as if she were renting a house. She heard a man say, "Strange, why rent the front one?"

Mrs. Kong, who has not fully recovered, turned around and replied loudly: "My husband will need it later!"

One day, an old nun took a bowl of her urine and asked the little nun to take it down the mountain for a doctor's test. ...

The little nun accidentally knocked over the urine bowl while walking. She was afraid of being scolded, so she began to cry.

A passing woman saw it and told the little nun not to cry.

The little nun said that she accidentally knocked over the urine of the old nun for fear of being scolded. The woman said it doesn't matter. She asked the little nun to take urine to the doctor.

A week later, the old nun received the test report. The test report said that she was pregnant. The old nun exclaimed, "Oh, my God! Even radishes are not reliable these days! "

The president of Fat Mama Gambling Company.

One day, an elderly mother hobbled into the savings office of xx Manhattan Bank in new york with a huge pocket. She went to the counter, put her pocket in front of the cashier and said, "Miss, I want to deposit money. This is 500,000 cash. " The young lady was very surprised. She quickly moved out of the bank president. The president dared not neglect, invited the old lady to the office and treated her like a guest.

The president asked, "Is this pocket cash your life savings?"

"No, no," mom replied. "You are old and incompetent. You can only get rich by gambling. If you bet 500 thousand yuan, then you win. "

"Oh?" The president bowed down and said, "I want to hear the details."

The old lady said, "If the president wants to learn, he will bet you $500,000 now. If tomorrow morning 10: 30, the two meatballs in your crotch become cubes, you will lose to the old man 500 thousand. If it doesn't change, how about the old man giving you 500 thousand? "

The president frowned. "The old lady made a big joke."

"The old man is not joking. To be honest, this pocket of 500,000 was won in this way."

"Well, don't blame me for being bullied by a bank president."

"Where, where, write down the written evidence quickly."

So, they wrote a written document and agreed to meet in the office at 10: 30 tomorrow. The old lady saved her money and left with a smile.

The president sent the old lady away, but somehow, he was always uneasy and had to bend his head and touch his crotch from time to time to have a look. When I got home, I took off my pants at any time, which kept me awake all night. Fortunately, the two meat bombs kept rolling as before.

The next day, the president groped his way to class. Sitting in my office, I'm still hanging around. Look 10. Meatballs are still round, and $500,000 is at your fingertips!

10 at half past six, the old lady arrived on time with a smile, and there was a handsome young man, probably in his early thirties. The old lady said, "This is an old lawyer hired temporarily. This is the testimony of both of us. "

"Good," said the president. "You will lose today."

"Don't trust me, old man," my mother said. "Those two meatballs must have switched sides."

"No, it's still round!"

"Seeing is believing, taking it off is believing."

The president thought of $500,000, so he said in a clear voice, "That's all. You won't accept it if you don't take it off. "

So he took off his famous trousers, flashed a word and hung a pair of meat buns there.

Mom added, "It's true to touch it."

The president stood proudly: "Touch it and you will lose today!" "

The old maid approached, stretched out her hand to play with it, stood up calmly and said, "It's really round. Let you win. "

Then, my mother said cheerfully, "Congratulations to the President, I will give you 500,000 yuan at once."

The president proudly held up his trousers. He saw the young lawyer banging his head against the wall, looking very miserable. The president quickly asked, "Sir, what made you suddenly so miserable?"

"Oh, forget it," cried the lawyer. "Just now, I was held by this old lady and made a bet, saying that if she could make the president of xx Manhattan Bank take off his pants in front of me and take out the marbles, I would lose to her at $654.38+00,000!"

A man came back from a business trip and ran into his wife with her neighbor's husband, Smaller. He knocked on the door next door angrily and said to his neighbor's wife, "Your husband is having an affair with my wife. 』

"This is outrageous, we must revenge. The neighbor's wife pulled him into the room, took off his clothes and made love violently.

Soon, they lay in bed and rested. After a few minutes, the neighbor's wife said, "What happened? Let's get even again! 』

In this way, he retaliated four times in a row. When the neighbor's wife asked for a fifth revenge, the man staggered to his feet and said, "Forget it! I don't hate them anymore ... "

A lovestruck couple undressed in the back seat of a car. "Sorry," the boy said, "I didn't know you were a virgin. If I knew, I would spend more time doing foreplay. "

"Really?" The girl said flatly, "If you don't hurry up, I'll take off my stockings."

What's the use of women getting married?

The answer is: "there are birds."

Why does the man want a divorce?

"Because I don't want to do it! 」

What is the use of same-sex marriage? The answer is: "What's the use?"

A man was drinking in a bar with a heavy heart. ....

Attendant: Sir? ! In a bad mood If you have any ideas, just say it!

M: I'm gay.

Attendant: So what?

Man: My brother is gay, too.

Attendant: ....

M: To make matters worse, so is my brother.

Attendant: ... doesn't anyone in your family like women?

M: Yes! My sister

The Analects of Confucius

Confucius traveled eastward, accompanied by Luz; I met a woman by chance, very gentle and lovely, but I saw: pink peach blossoms are not exposed, and red lips smell first and then laugh; Zi He was so happy that he didn't know each other. Confucius said, "What is it? Go up? " Lutz replied, "You are a teacher, and politeness comes first!" " .

Zi even rushed to the car, went deep into the forest, hugged his hips, waved his halberd and raped him.

After a while, Luz asked, "Is that okay?" The son lifted his lapel, wiped his sweat and said, "Cool!" .

Luz said, "shall I go?" Confucius said: "Ran"; Not long after, Luz came out and said, "Did you receive any guidance at school?" Confucius said: "One."

There will be nothing to teach then. Confucius said, "The teacher is on it, and there are still three Analects. "Lutz bow down," I'm not as good as a teacher! "