Ancient celebrity joke stories

Some modern humorous jokes entertain our lives, and there were their jokes in ancient times. The following is what I prepared for you, I hope you like it!

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Some modern humorous jokes entertain our lives, and there were their jokes in ancient times. The following is what I prepared for you, I hope you like it!

one

Song Lian liked reading when he was a child, but his family was poor. I have no money to buy books, so I have to borrow them from others. Every time I borrow a book, he tells me the deadline, returns it on time and never breaks the contract. People are willing to lend them to him.

Once, he borrowed a book, and the more he read it, the more he couldn't put it down, so he decided to copy it. But the deadline for returning the book is coming. He had to copy books overnight. It's the middle of winter and the twelfth month, dripping into ice. His mother said, "Son, it's midnight. It's cold. Copy it at dawn. People are not waiting for this book to read. "

Song Lian said, "No matter how many people are waiting to read this book, it must be returned before the deadline. This is a question of credit and a sign of respect for others. If you are dishonest in what you say and do, how can you get the respect of others? "

two

Fan Zhongyan had great ambitions since childhood. When learning, "take the country as your own responsibility." Later, he became an admonition officer, boldly exposed Lv Yijian's abuse of power, appointed a private person, and was demoted. Later, he made great contributions in the war with Xixia, returned to the DPRK as deputy prime minister, actively promoted the New Deal, and was excluded because he violated the interests of some powerful people. He went back to Shaanxi to defend the border, and the New Deal was abolished.

The following year, his old friend Teng Zijing became an official in Yuezhou, built Yueyang Tower, a local scenic spot, and asked Fan Zhongyan to write a commemorative article. Fan Zhongyan wrote the famous Yueyang Tower. In this article, he suggested that a person with lofty aspirations should "worry about the world first, and then enjoy the world." For more than 1000 years, this sentence has become an epigram to inspire people with lofty ideals in China to fight for the country and the people. Fan Zhongyan lived a hard and simple life and often distributed his salary to the villagers, which won the support of the people. On the day he died, people everywhere heard him sigh, and the people "cried like their father."

three

In Tang Yizong, there is a man who is good at telling jokes, and his name is Li Keji. Once, in order to celebrate the emperor's birthday, Li Keji dressed as a Confucian and boarded the platform, calling himself "the balance of the three religions". A man sat next to him and asked, "Since you know all about Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism, who is Nicodemus?" Li Keji said: "Women." The man next to him was taken aback and said, "Why is it a woman?" Li said: "The Diamond Sutra says,' Sit in your seat'. If it's not a woman, why does her husband sit in the back? " He asked again, "Who is the old gentleman on the throne?" The answer is: "It's also a woman." People who ask are even more puzzled. Li said: "The Tao Te Ching says,' I am in great trouble because I have a body and I have no body. "What's wrong with me?" If it's not a woman, why are you afraid of getting pregnant? "He asked," Who is Confucius? " The answer is: "It's also a woman." Q: "How can I tell?" Answer: "The Analects of Confucius said:' It is for sale! Sell it! I am very kind to Jia. "If it's not a woman, why wait for marriage?"

four

There was a poet named Wang in the Northern Song Dynasty. He was very arrogant when he was young. I'm a little ignorant. I always feel capable. One day, he went to a garden to play and saw a bamboo forest. Bamboo is green and looks good. Wang Qi immediately thought of a joint sentence. I began to write: Ye Feng has a thousand swords; I am so angry. Wang Qi compared drooping bamboo leaves to swords and straight bamboo poles to spears, which is an image. He showed this couplet to his friends, and everyone praised him for his good writing. Wang Qi happily posted couplets on the wall of the house. He also boasted: "If anyone can change a word, I will give him twelve taels of gold for free!" " "How crazy. A few days later, Su Dongpo, a college student, visited him and saw the couplets. He didn't say anything. Pretend to say to Sue, "I wrote these two sentences. Please give me your advice. Su Dongpo smiled and said to Wang Qi, "This couplet is good, but it takes ten bamboos to spell a Ye Er!" ! "Come to think of it, Wang Qi, yes! I wrote Chiba and Wan Gan. There are fewer bamboos in Ye Er, and an average of ten bamboos can grow a piece of Ye Er. What is this called bamboo? Wang Qi's face looks like a big red cloth. She thanked Su Dongpo assiduously and said, "Well said, well said. "From now on, Wang Qi is no longer crazy, she is learning honestly. Since then, he has become a poet with real talent and learning. According to Song? Wei Qingzhi's Poet Jade Scrap Volume XI.

five

Yang Danian looks very energetic, especially when his beard is thick and long, which is over his chest. It's really beautiful. It was early in the morning. Yang Danian came out of the palace and happened to meet Ding Weisong. Ding Wei looked at Yang Danian's long beard in the Song Dynasty and joked with him: the worship of Neihan must sweep the floor; Neihan is Hanlin. It means that when you, a bearded academician, kowtow to the emperor [Tiá o zhǒ u], your beard sweeps the floor like a broom. Who is this Ding Wei of the Song Dynasty? This is a big shot! Ding Wei and treacherous court official Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty pushed out Kou Zhun, the prime minister of Northern Liao Dynasty, and finally he became prime minister and Jin Wengong. Ding Wei and Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty, as well as three bad guys, were called "Five Ghosts of the Imperial Court". Yang Danian hated GREAT GHOST in Five Ghosts for a long time. He looked at the Song Dynasty and replied coldly, "xianggong" is sitting in the sky! "xianggong" refers to Ding Wei, the prime minister of the Song Dynasty: the "curtain" is a big tent. Yang Danian is saying that you, the prime minister, crowd out good people and monopolize the court. You can really dominate the world! When Ding Wei heard Yang Danian turn around and scold himself, the Song Dynasty was very angry. But on second thought, I confessed it myself, and I couldn't be angry, so I had to laugh a few times. According to Song? Ouyang xiu's return to the field.

six

Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, was eloquent, especially good at word games. When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister. Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is similar to call it' lack of talent'. " Hearing this, he immediately laughed at Wang's surname: "The word Wang is added to the left of the word, 呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄2157 On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming made fun of his surname and said, "The word' Xu' is the word' non' plus' jade' and' gold'. Xu Zhicai immediately ridiculed Yuan Ming's surname-the traditional word "Lu" is "Lu": the word "Lu" means that an "A Yin" makes people become "Lu" and a horse makes a donkey. " Lu Yuanming was flushed and speechless, and the room was full of laughter.