Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - What is the experience of having only one employee in the whole company?
What is the experience of having only one employee in the whole company?
Busy vomiting blood,
About three years ago, I applied for a job in a company, and my boss interviewed me personally. I felt honored during the interview. After all, I was interviewed by my boss and finally entered the company. I am TM, and I am the only employee.
After working for a while, the situation will probably be clear. The company is located in an upscale office building. It's no exaggeration. Carpets on the ground floor, central air conditioning, and even bathrooms on each floor are toilets. The boss is an old salesman. He was very successful in the past. I guess I have some resources in my hand, so I started my own business. Then I was the first employee. He travels frequently. It's good for me to see him two or three times a month.
Let's talk about experience.
Let's start with work. You can become a dog when you are tired, and you can get sick when you are idle. He is only responsible for finding customers. After finding them, I do all the rest of the work. The general process is that he informs me on WeChat what products a customer wants, and then I arrange factory production, he inspects the goods, I arrange logistics delivery, the government seals me, I declare the customs, and I do everything.
Later, I paid the property fee, the company was renovated, and there was something wrong with the water and electricity. The property almost thought I was the boss.
Punch in at work, but I also make time sheets. I punch in and evaluate it. Five days before each paycheck, I told him on WeChat that I could be late several times this month and deduct 20 if I was late. Don't look at the watch, he will recognize what I said, and the salary will be transferred by WeChat.
Take valuables with you when you go to the toilet, because there is no one in the company.
Other companies work in groups, and I always go to work alone.
The boss said that he wanted to recruit people and gave Zhilian a sum of money to recruit. Then HR is me, and I am in charge of recruitment. Of course, I usually only pick women. Ha ha ha, I pushed some good ones to him, but he was not satisfied. I still went to work alone, and later I could probably guess his mind. I can do these things by myself now, and I don't need to recruit people to increase the cost, but I promised to recruit people for me.
When recruiting, I promised that I would be the supervisor as soon as I entered the company and was entrusted with a heavy responsibility. As a result, as soon as I went in, the supervisor was me and the employees were me, hehe.
Tell me about my usual life. I punch in to work. Although I won't arrive on time, I dare not be late. I open the door of the company, turn on the light, turn on the computer, get a glass of water, deal with things when something happens, and stay in a daze when nothing happens. Sitting alone in a huge office area, damn it, I can really suppress my illness, so I talk to myself, just like a mental derangement.
Go downstairs to get the courier, because there is a courier box downstairs, and some couriers will not be sent upstairs, so they will be left in the box to inform you to get it. At this time, I will lock the door first, and then take the elevator downstairs to get the express.
I want to eat at noon, and take-out is easy to say. If you go downstairs to eat, you should lock the door first, then go downstairs, stagger to finish your meal at 2 o'clock, go upstairs, sleep for an hour, and sleep on the sofa in the boss's office.
Touch and feel until after work,
I can't even eat lunch when I'm busy, I have to work overtime, all kinds of documents, I can vomit blood, and I have to be careful. If I am wrong, it will be hundreds of thousands of dollars.
In my spare time, I will develop my own clients or watch the next movie. I have never been exposed to this game. I'm worried that playing will be addictive and affect my work. I also try to download AV. I have to say that the high-end office building has a fast internet speed, which makes me physically exhausted for a while.
It is even more ridiculous to meet some holidays. When I write a blog, the organization is me, the participation is me, the gift is me, and the blog is still me. So I can't guarantee that I will win the prize. The boss only lets me blog 10 times. How many times do I blog? He counts. He is out of town. He lets me open a WeChat video and watch my blog. He supervises.
On my birthday, he ordered a birthday cake. It was rare that he was in the company, so we were in the conference room, lighting candles, turning off the lights and making wishes. He sang a birthday song next to me and gave me a red envelope of 200 yuan. Of course I can't eat the cake. He asked me to make lunch.
Others hope that the boss is not in the company, but I hope that he will come, at least with some popularity.
It's not bad to smoke alone in the office area. I also bought an ashtray and put it on my desk. He didn't say anything when he saw it, but only let me pay attention to the fire.
Once he stayed in the company for several days, thinking that he had never had a meeting. I guess he also thought about the boss's addiction. He dragged me into the conference room and held the first and only meeting. I advised him at the meeting that he must recruit people, so as to be bigger and stronger. He promised that I would do it.
Speaking of hiring, damn it, I was really angry once. At that time, a beautiful woman came to apply for a job, which was very intellectual and made me very happy, and it happened to be professional. I lied to her with the application my boss gave me, saying that she also has passion, and the boss disagreed, hehe.
Working for a year and a half, always alone. It's really unbearable. The salary he gave me was ok, otherwise I wouldn't have stayed so long. The main thing is that I'm too busy at work, really busy. I can't eat all kinds of bills. I can't stand this loneliness. The point is that I'm still single. I will resolutely resign, but he delayed me for three months.
But it's not that easy. I can keep up with his rhythm quickly because I have had this experience before. Other recruits have no experience at all, or have only done some work, so they don't understand and don't want to. Later, I finally found a middle-aged man to replace me. This man is very interesting. When I interviewed him, I told him that he was very excited to smoke during the office hours, and I gave him the ashtray.
Later, I heard that his company went bankrupt. .......
Let me tell you one. My cousin applied for a startup company. The boss and proprietress are both rich second generation, and a group of relatives are bosses of big companies or executives of listed companies. My cousin was personally interviewed by the boss and the proprietress, and my cousin is a personnel officer. He is employee 003, which means he is the first employee besides the boss and the proprietress. His first month's job was to recruit people. Ask the boss what our main business is and what position we need to find. The boss looked puzzled and said, we don't have any big business now. Please recruit 10 first, then hold a staff meeting to discuss our main business direction, and then recruit people according to the business direction. My cousin invited several of his college classmates, and then their company became a labor service company a month later, delivering labor services to various companies, factories and construction sites. Damu now has tens of millions of annual profits in their company.
Ha ha ha, I have a relative who is like this. He applied for a small company as big as three rooms, and the boss had money at home and came out to exercise. Damn it, he sleeps until 10 every day, and then clocks in on the spot. Because the office of their company is used for both business and residence, their boss regards an office area as the staff dormitory. [Cool drag] He is responsible for everything in the company except finance, and he is not responsible for anything. [Yi tooth] The boss spoke, and there is only one employee. I'm not in the company during office hours, but I have to arrive five minutes after receiving the call. [Picking nose] Anyway, everyone in their building thinks he is the boss. His boss only comes to finance and salary for one or two days a month, and the rest basically doesn't come to the company. The situation now is that he calls his boss every day to brag. The problem is that he actually went out to engage in a sideline that may not conflict with the boss. Their boss didn't say anything except a word: if the employer hired 3 thousand to do everything, where can I find it now? [I want to be quiet] is really more popular than people.
I've been in a company for six people, five bosses and one employee, that's me, damn it. ...
I have seen a joke before, which may be true. It is said that there are five or six people in a company, all of whom are leaders (actually partners) except themselves. The company has been in business for more than half a year and has never paid a penny. I couldn't bear it anymore, so I asked the leader. The leader was deceived at that time, and I was stunned for a long time before I suddenly remembered: Hahahahaha, it turns out that our company still has a salary to pay. In order to celebrate the company's first salary, the whole company will have a dinner together in the evening to celebrate!
I hope you don't do this.
The company is too small.
I met a small boss who hired an employee. This employee originally came to this company to apply for a position, but because he was the only employee, the boss later put everything he could do on him.
This person is not only responsible for his own work, but also for other things, and the boss has a good attitude every time, and the employees can't bear to refuse, resulting in more and more things.
It's like the boss knows that you are an employee, so he deliberately increases the workload. You think there are only two people working, so you should share some for the boss. This makes the responsibility unclear and makes him tired to death, but he doesn't know how much money to take. The boss hired several people for salary. This boss is so cool, but he never said that he was happy and grateful. Instead, he hoped that the employee would do more. Moreover, employees go out to rest or ask for leave or leave early, and the boss is not happy at all. He never feels that he has taken advantage of others, but that others have taken advantage of himself. This is human nature.
There is no need to stay in such a small company. It's better to go to another company, where at least some people share part of your work and won't carry everything alone. Many times, when the boss only recruits one employee, he will use this employee to death because he can't find anyone else to use it and can't find anyone else to squeeze. In this case, employees are actually very passive. Sometimes you think you get along well with your boss, but in fact, because the boss wants to give you money every month, he always wants to squeeze you, and you will feel guilty taking his money every month, because there are only two people in the company.
12 really can't stand the stingy boss of the original company, with more than 20 people up and down. Personally, my salary is the lowest, and my attendance is particularly tight, but only for some employees, except his cronies, so I resigned. Then a friend introduced me to a company. A week later, the clerk packed his things and left without authorization. Only three people on the construction site often work in other places, and the financial affairs are temporarily taken care of by the financial personnel of the boss's brother's company. I am the only one in the 200-square-meter office, and I am very free. I bought breakfast at nine o'clock in the morning, went upstairs to boil water, and turned on the computer to handle the mailbox. I have nothing to do, such as jumping into radio gymnastics, looking through previous accounts and drinking my boss's coffee. The boss comes to the company every day 1 1, and I get off work 12, and then I start to deal with all kinds of things told by the boss, from ordering equipment to returning the boss's credit card and loan. Just give me a call, no matter who you contact, and ask the result directly in a few days. Sometimes it's really annoying. Paying water and electricity property fees, ordering newspapers and repairing network cables are all my business. It's so complicated that I'm afraid I forgot to write everything down in my notebook. In the afternoon, the boss invited friends, Ma You and partners to have tea and chat. I can hear them outside. I have to say that I have learned a lot, which seems normal. After his suggestion, this will be an immediate money-making job. Because it was introduced by an acquaintance, the boss was at ease. He often left me his bank card, ID card and real estate license, and let me go to the bank and real estate center to do all kinds of things myself. Once, he directly gave me his private card to withdraw 700 thousand, just told me to ask him to pick me up. I booked with the bank teller for two or three hours! The boss belongs to a master who knows a lot of money and is confused about small money. Even if I take thousands, he can't find it, but he can't! I mentioned several times that I would recruit again, but I can do it alone. Who wants to increase costs? In this way, at the beginning of 14, the boss wanted to switch to other businesses and let me continue to work with him. I resigned because I was pregnant. In retrospect, although I was very busy, I was deeply lost in the office alone, and I didn't have a team, but I really exercised people and learned a lot of ways to do things.
Let me talk about myself. The trading company is a legal person, managing contracts, issuing invoices and transferring money by itself. Fortunately, every month is a big transaction, and there are only 10 orders in a month, which makes many people crazy.
Small companies retain employees with affection, respect and fairness ... in short, from the perspective of human nature, they either don't develop or die. The strict system of large companies requires treatment and stable retention, while cross-regional companies require cultural retention. In fact, it's like people's needs: character-food, clothing-spirit. Even if you can't give basic needs, you still want to kill other people's personality?
What I want to say is that all these points are reasonable, but if a small company can avoid these problems, it can become the world's top 500. It's hard. Why can't small companies and big companies be too picky because they don't compete on the same platform and have no better salary, starting point and resources to attract better talents? The result of being too picky is that you can't recruit people. So we have to take a detour. Personally, I think many employees will speak ill of others behind their backs. This depends on the person's starting point and position in the company, whether consciously or unconsciously, and then deal with it. As for small groups, we should not take them lightly. Small companies have few people, and small teams directly overhead the boss. So in this case, first, divide them up. Second, divide and rule, and set tasks for them to supervise each other. Third, formulate strict rules as soon as possible to restrain the leaders of small teams. Fourth, find people from other departments to gradually take over the work of small leaders. Fifth, at the right time, get rid of the killer in public, observe the attitude of other team members, and let them express their opinions at the meeting before deciding whether to stay or not.
I know a woman, she is the only one in the company, and her boss is in the Philippines. I wonder what the company does. Anyway, the boss put 30 million to 40 million in the company account. This woman only needs to send her account number to her boss once a month for verification. The boss never comes, the company never does business, and no one cares if she goes to work or not. Later, she was really bored, so she rented counters in various shopping malls to sell fake Nike, and the business was very hot. At the end of one year, the bank pulled deposits and promised high interest rates. She informed her boss to transfer money, and the boss agreed. Then that year she took a commission of 240 thousand from the bank.
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