Joke opening chat

1. A girl got her boyfriend's engagement ring the night before, but her classmates didn't notice it, which made her very angry. In the afternoon, when everyone was sitting and chatting, she suddenly stood up and said loudly, "Gee, it's really hot in here. I think I'd better take off my ring. " The hostess called the maid to the front and asked her, "Are you pregnant?" "Yes!" The maid replied. "Fortunately, you can say it. Aren't you ashamed that you are not married? " The hostess trained again. "Why should I be shy, mistress? Aren't you pregnant yourself? " "But I am pregnant with my husband!" The hostess retorted angrily. "Me too!" The maid agreed happily. 3. Motorcyclists like to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle their mouths at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. Here comes the policeman: Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Policeman A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... 4. On a winding country road, there are often some ghost stories because of frequent car accidents. One night, a taxi driver saw a long-haired shawl on the roadside, and a woman in white waved to him. Because the driver had never seen a ghost, he boldly stopped to let her get on the bus. On the road, although the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, he is also Mao Mao in his heart. The driver got a fright and stepped on a brake! I saw that the woman's face was covered with blood and her expression was ferocious. The driver's teeth trembled with fear. Suddenly the woman said, "Can you drive? I bowed my head to tie my shoelaces, and suddenly you broke my nose by braking ... "5. A patient went to see a doctor, who examined him and frowned and said," You are too ill, I'm afraid you won't live long. " Patient: "Please tell me, how long can I live?" Doctor: "Ten …" The patient asked anxiously: "Ten what? Ten years and ten months? Ten days? " Doctor: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five ..." 6. Teacher: "Can you tell me something about the commonness of18th century scientists?" Student: "Yes, they are all dead." 7. The rhinoceros dung beetle fell in love with a mosquito. When the beetle asked the mosquito what to do, the mosquito said, "nurse, give me an injection." The tapir patted his thigh: "Fate, I was rubbing pills in the Chinese Medicine Bureau ..." 8. An African lives in a hotel. In the middle of the night, a fire broke out for some reason. Africans don't care so much when they see it, and they run out naked. When the fireman saw it, he exclaimed, "Oh, my God! It's burnt, and you can run so fast! "9. A person wants to study abroad, but he must get the boss's approval. So he asked his boss for instructions, and the boss gave him a note that said, "Go ahead." The man thought, "Go = Go, the boss approved." So he started packing. A colleague saw him and asked, "What are you doing?" He said, "I want to study abroad, and my boss approved it and wrote me' Go'. "Colleagues are happy to see the article:" Our boss doesn't approve it at all! ! You don't know our boss's English level, he's talking! 10, the priest said to the farmer who bought his horse and carriage: "This horse can only understand the language of the church. Call" Thank God "and it will run; It didn't stop until it was called "Praise God". Farmers are skeptical about this. He tried to shout "Thank God" and the horse ran faster and faster at once. A frightened farmer ran to the edge of the cliff and remembered that the password of "Praise God" had stopped him. Sure enough, the horse stopped. The farmers who survived the accident breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank God ..."

I have been calling for a long time, please accept it.

1 The night before, a girl got her boyfriend's engagement ring, but no one noticed this classmate and made her funny. You sat chatting until the afternoon, when she suddenly stood up and shouted, "Oh, it's really hot in here. I think I'd better take off your ring." 2. The hostess called the maid and asked her, "Are you pregnant? \ "\" Yes! "The maid replied. "Kui you said exports, you're not married, don't you feel shy? "The hostess began to train again. "Why should I be shy? Aren't you the hostess also pregnant? \ "\" But I'm pregnant with my husband! " The hostess retorted angrily. "Me too! "The maid happily echoed. 3. The clothes that a motorcyclist likes should be cut at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drunk driving, overturned his car and ran headlong into the road. Policeman: Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, he hit his head on the back. Po 1: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: Good ... One, two, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I'm not breathing ... 4. When turning on a winding country road, there are often some ghost stories because of frequent car accidents. One night, a taxi driver saw a shawl with long hair on the side of the road, and a woman in white waved to him. Because the driver didn't see a ghost, he boldly stopped to let her get on the bus. Along the way, the driver didn't believe in ghosts, so he often put the woman in his heart. The driver got a fright and quickly stepped on the brakes! I saw that woman's face was covered with blood and her expression was ferocious. The driver's teeth trembled with fear. Suddenly, the woman said, "Can you drive? When I bent down to tie my shoelaces, you slammed my nose ... A patient went to see a doctor, who examined him and frowned and said, "You are too ill, I'm afraid you won't live long." . Patient: Please tell me how long I can live. "Doctor:" Ten ... The patient asked anxiously: "What? Ten years and ten months? Ten days? Doctor: "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five ..." 6. Teacher: "Can you name some common features of18th century scientists? Student: Yes, they are all dead. Qiang, a rhinoceros dung, fell in love with mosquito. Qiang asked what the mosquito did, and the mosquito said, "Nurse, give an injection." . "A Qiang patted his thigh:" Fate, I am rubbing pills in the Chinese Medicine Bureau ... "8. Africans live in a hotel. In the middle of the night, a fire, the reason is unknown. I rushed so many Africans before and ran out naked. The fireman exclaimed, "My God! All burnt places can run so fast! "9, a person wants to go abroad, but must get the approval of the boss. So he asked the manager for instructions, and the boss gave him a note that said, "Go ahead." The man thought, "Let's do it = progress, and the boss approves it. "So he began to pack. A colleague saw him and asked, "What are you doing?" He said: "I was going to study abroad, and my boss approved it and wrote me' Go'." Colleagues were happy when they saw the article: "Our boss hasn't approved it yet! ! ! ! ! Don't you know our boss's English? He speaks it to the head! 10, the priest said to the farmer who bought his horse and carriage, "This horse can only understand the language of the church, and it ran away when it was called" Thank God "; It's called "Praise God" and it doesn't stop. The farmer was skeptical. He tried to thank God and shouted, and the horse galloped away, running faster and faster at once. A frightened farmer who ran to the edge of the cliff remembered the password "Praise God" to stop him. Sure enough, the horse stopped. Farmer Guan breathed a sigh of relief: "Thank God ..."

I played for a long time, please.