1 1 online joke copy

1. After marriage, I found that my wife occasionally squeezed toothpaste for me in the morning, but the days were not fixed. I decided to ask, "What is the basis of your decision to squeeze toothpaste for me?" Wife: "Sometimes it's too crowded. It's a pity to drop the sink. Just scrape with a toothbrush ... "

On the train, I went to eat. When the waiter cooks, his hands are shaking all the time. I am very dissatisfied. The waiter said: Too much cooking is a waste. I replied: Come again.

I can eat it three times. The waiter replied: then you eat first, and I'll call you if it's not enough. I went back to my seat, ate for a while, and found that I really couldn't finish it, because it was terrible.

Well, if you are pregnant, you will receive prenatal education. Werner

Idiot's best friend is pregnant.

Five months, I think. Every prenatal education is to say to her baby, baby, I am your mother. When you grow up, I will spend money when you earn money! I think her baby is under too much pressure.

4. I once heard a joke and shared it with everyone. Gan Long asked Liu Yong: "Where is the national money?" Liu Yong replied, "I fell into the river." Gan Long asked again, "Why not fish?" Liu Yong replied: "The river is deep (small Shenyang)!"

5. Chatting with my son one day. Me: Son, did you know that you cried badly when you were born? Your father and I are arguing to death. My son gave me a white look: well, the first time I saw you, I knew I had the wrong baby. Can I not cry sadly?

6. Last year, my ex-girlfriend got married and asked me to attend. I didn't expect it, but I thought it was inappropriate. So I asked the leader for leave. The leader said you can't go like this. Drive to support the scene. I don't sell cars, so you drive.

The one with 400 thousand, I didn't speak, and the leader said, no? And then that.

800 thousand, I still didn't speak, the leader said, that's all

1.2 million, I said, can you stop joking? We sell excavators.

7. The teacher informed me that there would be a parent-teacher meeting on 10 in the morning. I opened the closet door and asked my son, "Which one to wear for the parent-teacher meeting?" I have to dress properly, and mom can't embarrass you! The son said timidly, "Mom, do you think I still have face at school?" "

8. The wife wants to drive her husband out of the house and go to the kitchen to get her husband a bowl. Husband is puzzled: "Why do you want to bring me a bowl?" The wife sneered: "Because the bowl is very important, it can hold money or rice ..."

9. Two days ago, my uncle drank too much and hit Uncle Li who was drinking at the next table. Uncle Li's son came to the door, and the cousin made a gift to lose money, and the matter subsided. Afterwards, my cousin complained to my uncle. Uncle is impatient. When did you fight when you were a child, when did Lao Tzu never come forward to quell it? "Cousin a face of injustice: I was beaten when I was a child, and they lost money to you. 10. The neighbor is a lovely child. One day, a guest came and pointed to the wedding photo on the wall and asked, "Who are the two people on the wall?" "Answer:" Mom and Dad ","Why didn't you? "The child held back for a long time and said: I, I, I can't get up. 1 1. There is one.

Two kinds of goods in a shop.

The five-star hotel had a big meal and said that they had no money when they checked out. The manager called the security guard and threatened him to work as a waiter in the hotel to pay back the money. He asked the manager, I came to apply that morning. Why don't you want me?