Ask for some funny jokes, thank you.

1. In the Internet cafe, a classmate suddenly raised his hand and shouted, "Teacher!" 2. One person in our dormitory drank too much urine and then came up with a cold sentence: if you drink too much wine, you will get more. 3. Buy oranges, boss: one yuan and five Jin. Me: It's too expensive, five yuan and three Jin. Boss: no, no. That is our physics teacher. ""What do you teach? " "chemistry. . . . . "5. My friend asked me about the computer configuration, and I said that the monitor is a color screen. I was going to say LCD. Junior high school art evening, grab the answer link. Hostess: "attention, everyone, don't grab too fast." "When I finished, I began to raise my hand." Then I began to look at the topic and said, "Now. . . "At this time, a player scrambled to answer. 7. The host announced: "Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang song and dance, lift your skull. . . . . "Great Cold 8. When I was at school, one day my classmate called and handed it to me and said, "Your mother." As soon as I answered the phone, I casually said "men and women" Everyone laughed wildly. I was laughed at for four years. 9. My classmate's high school classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle restaurant and shook his hair: "Boss, no onion rice noodles!" After that, I added: "More rice noodles!" Boss: ". . . . Do you want rice noodles or onions? " 10, once my classmate's mother called me, I used to say "he's not here", but this time I wanted to say "he's gone" and the result was: "he's gone" 1 1, gg handed me an sorbet, and I took a bite and shouted:/kloc-. My sister said, "Miss, how much are these shoes?" 13, once I patted my roommate's stomach, she said loudly, "Stop patting, I have urine in my stomach." 14, go home on weekends when I go to school. After dinner, I was addicted to cigarettes and planned to go for a walk on the pretext. When changing shoes at the door, my father asked me why I wanted to go. I casually said, "Go have a cigarette!" As a result, my father found a pack of 555 from me and gave me a good k 15. A leader of the Education Bureau inspected the class exercises. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "retreat!" 16 There was a teacher surnamed Jiang in high school, who looked like the Tang Priest in The Journey to the West. I went to ask him a question and blurted out: "Teacher Tang, this question …"17, a colleague, one day I was driving on the road and my tire was flat, and asked where there was inflation. Colleague said: "The streets are full of abortions!" 18, a teacher probably played mahjong all night, and when he saw that the blackboard had not been wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! 19, once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?" "20. When the teacher leaves homework, I copy others' if I can't do it, and then go to the office to hand in my homework. I saw the teacher say, "I finished copying!" " 2 1, I quarreled with my mm mobile phone, and she turned up the TV volume very loudly. I was very angry and said loudly, "Turn off my phone!" " "Now that I think about it, it's cold! 22. Tell a true story. On the factory bus to work, MM asked me: My computer is dying. I said: Then go back and check the virus, and remember to upgrade the antivirus software. MM: oh. The next morning, I saw MM on the bus again. I asked casually: Have you checked? Is the batter out? then ... . . . . . . . . MM said loudly: I am so angry. I checked for a long time and said it was not poisonous. What do you suggest? It was very cold then. . . . I remember your letter. 23. A classmate from high school in my dormitory called. He said who he was looking for, but I said I wasn't there. Then he said thank you. 24. Someone came to my aunt's house before and just entered the door. It happened that my aunt was going to the bathroom. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, I'll go to the toilet and pour you some tea! ""25. During the military training in the university, the instructor shouted: Look at your side door ~ ~ ~ We want to laugh but dare not. It's pathetic. 26. Our company has a car to go to work in the morning, because the car is not big. Once, a male colleague sitting next to me stood up and greeted her warmly and said, "So-and-so, sit on my ass!" " I laughed until I got off ~! 27. I used to be crazy about online games, and I often killed myself in Internet cafes. After the semester, I went home with a group of friends, and the train was about to leave, but we haven't found the platform yet. I suddenly said, "MD, why isn't there even a coordinate here?" ~ "My buddy burst into laughter after hearing this ~~ 28. When I was in college, a classmate quarreled with me and was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid! When I was a child, popsicles and ice cream were generally sold by pushing bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. It is estimated that my aunt used to sell fried dough sticks. ) 32. My colleague quarreled with someone and started talking when he was in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating? "I've always wondered what he grew up eating." 33. When I was in primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At this time, the students immediately calmed down.