What are the classic lines in "Trafficking"?

Gao Xiumin: Oh~~~What a lie! Big lie!

Zhao Benshan: What a big liar. In front of everyone, please don’t call me by my stage name, okay?

Gao Xiumin: The child’s father.

Zhao Benshan: Hey.

Gao Xiumin: If you ask me, don’t sell this crutch!

Zhao Benshan: Don’t say that. I won’t sell it. You have to make this pair of crutches with work and materials. You didn’t sleep for a whole day and a night. If you don’t sell it, won’t you be compensated?

Gao Xiumin: The streets are full of people with good legs and feet. Who will buy your stuff?

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? You don’t know my strengths and you still call me a big liar. I can deceive the good ones into evil, and I can deceive the traitors into persecution. The young couple lived a good life, but I deceived them into breaking up. I'm selling crutches today. With a pair of good legs, I can fool him into being lame!

Gao Xiumin: Haha, you can pull me down.

Zhao Benshan: Believe it or not?

Gao Xiumin: I don’t believe that you can deceive people into being lame if they have good legs?

Zhao Benshan: This is my strength.

Gao Xiumin: There are times when you make mistakes in advance!

Zhao Benshan: I made a mistake this time.

Gao Xiumin: The streets are full of people with good legs and feet. Who will buy them?

Zhao Benshan: Wife, let’s find someone with good legs and feet to sell to him today to see how good I can be at deception.

Gao Xiumin: Then why are you lying?

Zhao Benshan: Those who wish will take the bait, understand? Give me a shout.

Gao Xiumin: I won’t fool you, you can handle it yourself~

Zhao Benshan: Look at my eyes and act, okay? Hey, someone is coming, shout~~~

Gao Xiumin: Ah, it’s turned, it’s turned, it’s turned! Turn around, turn around! Turn around!

Fan Wei: I said you are giving random orders, what are you doing? You know where I'm going, so why don't you let me carry you?

Zhao Benshan: Shouting for sale.

Gao Xiumin: Sell it! Sell,

Zhao Benshan: What are you selling?

Gao Xiumin: Turn over

Zhao Benshan: Connect.

Gao Xiumin: Abducted! Kidnapped

Fan Wei: Huh? What's going on? Who wants to abduct you?

Gao Xiumin: No, he was kidnapped~~~

Fan Wei: Do you want to be kidnapped?

Zhao Benshan: What look in your eyes, you are kidnapping, you and I can sell it like this, you buy it!

Fan Wei: What the hell is going on with you guys?

Zhao Benshan: What’s going on? Please mind your own business~~~

Gao Xiumin: We are a couple and we are playing here!

Zhao Benshan: Hahaha, we are from the same family, and we are playing here!

Fan Wei: These two are selling their wives for fun during the Chinese New Year~~~Oh~~~

Gao Xiumin: They are kidnapped~~~

Zhao Benshan: Oh~~It’s quite dangerous~~He’s very ill~

Zhao Benshan: Stop~~~It’s very serious.

Gao Xiumin: What?

Zhao Benshan: It’s too serious.

Fan Wei: What are you talking about?

Zhao Benshan: Haha, it’s none of your business~~~

Gao Xiumin: What the hell, is it serious?

Zhao Benshan: You should tell him~~~It’s dangerous if you don’t tell me about this disease~~~It’s okay, I see something wrong, my wife won’t let me tell you, and you can’t believe it either. You can leave. , It’s okay~~~Hehe~~~It’s okay~~~Let’s go~~~

Fan Wei: You are so nagging~~~You are really~~~

Zhao Benshan : This disease is discovered at an advanced stage!

Fan Wei: What’s wrong with you? Say something nice during the Chinese New Year! What's going on!

Zhao Benshan: Don’t be excited, you’ve seen something wrong, oops, you don’t believe it even if you say it~~~

Fan Wei: You have to tell me whether I believe it or not, what’s going on? ah?

Zhao Benshan: Putting aside your condition, I know what you do!

Fan Wei: Ahem, you still know what I do? What do I do?

Zhao Benshan: You are the big boss in business——

Fan Wei: What?

Zhao Benshan: That is impossible.

Fan Wei: Nonsense,

Zhao Benshan: You...

Fan Wei: Did the big boss ride this?

Zhao Benshan: Working in a hotel.

Gao Xiumin: How did you know he was in the hotel?

Zhao Benshan: I smell like green onion~~~Is it from the hotel?

Fan Wei: So~~~why do you think I work in a hotel?

Zhao Benshan: The Chef of Dianshao!

Fan Wei: Huh?

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Gao Xiumin: Oh, how did you know he was a chef?

Zhao Benshan: He has a big head and a thick neck. He is not a rich man but a cook! ——Really? Are you a chef?

Fan Wei: Wow, ok, ok~~~ You guessed it right,

Zhao Benshan: Don’t do the math, right?

Fan Wei: You have to tell me to know whether I believe it or not.

Zhao Benshan: In the recent period, I don’t feel that any part of your body is different from the past. You think, you think hard~~~, tell the truth,

Fan Wei: I don’t feel any difference, I just feel that my face is getting bigger and bigger?

Zhao Benshan: By the way, this is not the main disease! Do you know why your face is big?

Fan Wei: Why?

Zhao Benshan: It’s the necrosis of your peripheral nerves that has aggravated the upper part.

Fan Wei: Where did you hold it in?

Zhao Benshan: Below the waist~~~Feet upward~~~

Fan Wei: Legs?

Zhao Benshan: Enemy!

Fan Wei: No, there is nothing wrong with my legs!

Zhao Benshan: Take two steps! Take two steps! It’s okay to take two steps! Do you want to see a doctor? Just take two steps to see a doctor!

Fan Wei: OK~~~Take two steps, go, take two steps, take two steps, take two steps~~~

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Is there anything wrong with your shoes?

Fan Wei: What's wrong?

Zhao Benshan: One is higher and the other is lower?

Fan Wei: These are my own travel shoes!

Zhao Benshan: Opponent, your legs are sick, one leg is short!

Fan Wei: No such thing! If I want one leg to be long and one leg to be short, the pants seller will tell me!

Zhao Benshan: The trousers seller tells you whether you still want to buy trousers. How can I be so kind?

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Damn?

Fan Wei: He's numb

Gao Xiumin: Why is he numb?

Zhao Benshan: If you stomp, you will be numb!

Zhao Benshan: Is hemp? Damn?

Fan Wei: I feel numb~~~

Zhao Benshan: Let’s walk, let’s walk! Don't be idle, your legs are 100% sick, don't be idle, relax! Walk! Go, go, go! Go, go quickly! Let's go, don't think about stopping, can you follow me? Start walking, it will be better little by little, you go~~~

(Fan Wei cooperates with the movements)

Fan Wei: Hey, hey, hey~ ~~Oh my God!

Zhao Benshan: Let’s go!

Gao Xiumin: Oops, my good leg was deceived into lameness!

Fan Wei: What are you talking about?

Zhao Benshan: Did you see it? My wife noticed it. She said you were lying and you were lame.

Fan Wei: Sister, why didn’t you notice it earlier?

Gao Xiumin: If you had not met him earlier, he would have been lame if you had met him~~

Zhao Benshan: I had transferred him here~~~

Fan Wei: Brother, what’s going on? this?

Zhao Benshan: Don’t worry, you, when you were a child, you had a sprain in your leg.

Fan Wei: No, did I have a sprain in my leg?

Zhao Benshan: Transferred! It transferred to this leg. Later, your career was very unfavorable to you. It turned out that you were not a pushover, but a cutter. You kept exerting force on this leg, which made this leg heavier and heavier. The heavier it is, the lighter one will stand on tiptoes, the more severe one will have necrosis of the femoral head, and in the later stage, it will be a vegetative state!

Gao Xiumin: Hahahahahahaha~~~

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing?

Gao Xiumin: Let me tell you~~~This is my first time watching you act~~~Hahaha

Zhao Benshan: I am treating my illness!

Fan Wei: Brother, what kind of medicine should I use?

Zhao Benshan: Medication doesn’t work!

Gao Xiumin: If you’re celebrating the Chinese New Year, don’t let people take medicine, just say abduction!

Zhao Benshan: Look, my wife knows that she is on crutches!

Fan Wei: On crutches?

Zhao Benshan: Please sit down~~~

Zhao Benshan: After using the crutches, your legs will gradually become balanced, and it will get better little by little. At the beginning, I An old man saw that I had a leg problem, so she felt sorry for the money and refused to let me see a doctor. In the end, I became disabled~~~

Fan Wei: You?

Zhao Benshan: There is a steel plate inside, so it cannot be bent back~~~

Fan Wei: Is this a useless leg?

Gao Xiumin: Old man, these are good legs~~~

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about! Okay~~~who has good legs and can use crutches?

Fan Wei: Yes.

Gao Xiumin: That abduct is not——

Zhao Benshan: Stop being deceptive!

Fan Wei: Oh, sister, please stop messing around all the time, okay? This is a patient-to-patient discussion. Why are you always following this? This is~~~Let me see what’s going on with this leg~~~

Zhao Benshan: You don’t use your legs~~~Look~~ ~I'll leave for you, I didn't even leave in the past~~~This is over~~~

(Zhao Benshan leaves)

Fan Wei: Oh, oh, oh my god , Oops~~~ It’s so serious,

Zhao Benshan: How many shoes have I lost? !

Gao Xiumin: Don’t be so blind. Didn’t you steal your chickens and chase them away when you lost your shoes?

Zhao Benshan: Can you catch me if you have good legs? How much does your shoe cost?

Fan Wei: That~~~Two hundred and two~~~

Zhao Benshan: Two hundred and two? Just like stealing money.

Fan Wei: So where should I buy abduction?

Gao Xiumin: Oh brother, haven’t you understood? He just wants to sell you this kid~~~

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? past! What are you selling? What am I selling? Why are you like this? If a woman digs it out, wouldn’t it be over if she gives it to him?

Fan Wei: No~~

Gao Xiumin: Not for sale!

Zhao Benshan: Can you stop talking? Take the abduction!

Fan Wei: Yeah, big brother! Oops, brother, I can’t ask for it in vain, I have to give you money~~~

Zhao Benshan: I told you to give me more, so I’m worried about you!

Fan Wei: OK, OK

Zhao Benshan: Stop talking~~~

Fan Wei: Oh, brother, what is that about? Two bags plus one is only thirty-two yuan~~~

Gao Xiumin: Then take it, as much as you want

Zhao Benshan: What kind of bicycle do you want? What bike do you want?

Fan Wei: Oh, yes, yes~~

Zhao Benshan: Why are you like this?

Gao Xiumin: I didn’t say I wanted a bicycle? You said you wanted a bicycle~~~

Zhao Benshan: That’s ridiculous. I can’t control this daughter-in-law. She asked someone for a bicycle when we met.

Gao Xiumin: I didn’t say I wanted a bicycle!

Zhao Benshan: I won’t take you out again~~~

Gao Xiumin: No~~~You can’t ask for someone else’s bicycle. Hurry up and push him away~~~He is trying to trick you!

Fan Wei: You are tricking me! Why are you like this? I was puzzled, how could there be such a big gap in life between a couple who also lived together?

Zhao Benshan: Brother, use a crutch!

Fan Wei: Brother, it’s fate!

Zhao Benshan: Don't be excited~~~Go back and recuperate, you will be fine in a few days~~~

Fan Wei: Okay~~~brother.

Zhao Benshan: Don’t get excited.

Fan Wei: Then what~~~I won’t say anything~~~

Gao Xiumin: Isn’t it a little too much for you to do this?

Zhao Benshan: Why should he thank us?

Fan Wei: Thank you!

Zhao Benshan: Look!

(Fan Wei ended up on crutches)

Zhao Benshan: What are you looking at? Why are you feeling distressed? Go, change places!

Gao Xiumin: What else are you doing?

Zhao Benshan: Find someone with bad legs and sell the bike to him! (Zhao Benshan pushed the bicycle and Gao Xiumin died)

Extended information:

1. Introduction to the work

The Trilogy of Trafficking in Kidnapping refers to 2001, 2002 and 2005 , three sketches performed by Zhao Benshan and several partners on the CCTV Spring Festival Gala. Because these three sketches are a continuous story, they are called the "Trilogy of Selling Kidnappings." In 2001 and 2002, Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei and Gao Xiumin performed "Selling Kidnappings" and "Selling Cars".

Later, Gao Xiumin had a conflict with Zhao Benshan and gave up participating in the 2005 sketch "Kung Fu", so Zhao Benshan changed to co-performing with his two apprentices (Cai Weili, Wang Xiaohu) and Fan Wei. Many people believe that the trilogy performed by Zhao Benshan and others is the most successful sketch in history.

2. Plot introduction

In the play, Zhao Benshan plays a northeastern countryman who is good at deceiving people into buying things, Gao Xiumin plays his wife, and Fan Wei Play the hapless dupe. The key to selling a car is to use brain teasers. During the process of buying a car, Zhao Benshan used many brain teasers to fool Fan Wei. The original name of the Kung Fu project was "Selling Stretchers" or "Unpreventable", but because the name of Stephen Chow's newly released film "Kung Fu" fit the meaning of the sketch, it was named "Kung Fu".

3. Creative background

Screenwriter Gong Kaibo once told Fan Wei a few real stories in a tavern. Fan Wei liked them very much, and they were just the prototype characters of the stories. It was a doctor and a minor patient, so Gong Kaibo and Fan Wei stripped the story out and replaced it with the two characters of Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei. Later, when Zhao Benshan came to Beijing, the three of them sat down and discussed again, and decided to adapt the story into a sketch, and named the sketch "Selling Abduction."

The writing of the script for "Selling Kidnappings" began in the spring of 2000 and continued until the Spring Festival Gala of the following year, which lasted more than eight months. During the sketch rehearsal time, screenwriter Gong Kaibo and author He Qingkui slept in reverse shifts and revised the script. Rehearsal is rigorous, screenwriter Gong Kaibo has to accept all the confusing opinions

4. Character introduction

1. Actor Zhao Benshan? Zhao Benshan

The stage name is a big lie. I heard that Lao Zhang broke his leg while riding a four-wheeler, so he got up early and made a crutch for someone. As a result, after Lao Zhang was discharged from the hospital, he directly used a wheelchair and the crutch was useless. For this reason, he went to the street and decided to find a good kidnapper to sell him.

2. Actor Gao Xiumin? Gao Xiumin

The wife of "Zhao Benshan" is still kind compared to her husband's deceiver, but "Zhao Benshan" relied on Thanks to her blind interference, she gained the trust of "Fan Wei" and was abducted.

3. Actor Fan Wei? Fan Wei

He is a chef with healthy legs. After being deceived by "Zhao Benshan", he didn't have enough money and was in trouble. I got on my bicycle and bought "Zhao Benshan" crutches, and finally said thank you.