Healthy short jokes

A collection of short jokes about health

Sometimes, a joke can relieve a person's nervous emotions and bring joy. The following are short and healthy jokes that I have compiled for your reference. I hope they can help friends in need.

Healthy Short Jokes 1

1. In the supermarket, a child held my hand and said: "Uncle, can you take me home? My mother and I are separated. "

I asked him: "Aren't you afraid that I will sell you? "

The child said: "My mother said that ugly people are kind. " < /p>

2. We went on a blind date two days ago, and the girl and I felt good! So I invited her to sing, and I called a few more friends. One of them came late. When he came, he came to me and said: You are so boring. It looks so ugly to call a girl.

3. A man complained to his friend: "My girlfriend is a train conductor, but she makes me miserable! I have to shake her bed all night long, and as soon as the bed stops shaking, she gets up immediately. Lock the toilet!"

4. The most romantic thing I long for is that one day when we are both old, I lie on your lap and you pick out my ears on a warm afternoon. You asked me gently: "Is this strength enough?" I didn't answer. You slowly took off your glasses and said, "I'm paralyzed, and I'm deaf again."

5. No. What goes without saying is that wearing a seat belt when riding in a car can really save your life. After driving to the destination with my colleague, he opened the door and got out of the car. I couldn't unbuckle his seat belt and he was hit by a speeding car and died. I was stunned in the car...

6. Man: Hi! Beauty, are you a Sheep?

Female: Wow! You are so awesome! Can you see this?

Male: There! I smelled it! Healthy Short Jokes 2

1. School has just started, and a new English teacher has arrived. He requires us to answer questions in English in the future. Then he started to name names: NO.1. Our class stood up on the 1st and shouted: "Here we come!"

The teacher said: Please in English! (Please answer in English) My classmate scratched his head, held it in for a long time and answered: Guo~ (pronounce the second pronunciation)

2. It is said that at the end of the month, when we are the poorest, no one in the dormitory has any money. , but I didn’t dare to ask my family for it, so we went on a collective diet. In order to save physical energy, everyone skipped class. At noon, the counselor came to the dormitory and was surprised to see everyone lying on the bed limply. Before they could speak, they heard the boss of the dormitory say slowly, "It's lunch time." Everyone got out of bed and went to the water room to drink tap water, then came back and continued to sleep.

3. In high school, we talked about permutations and combinations, and worked in groups. The teacher called Lei: "How many people are in your group?"

Lei: "Twelve." Teacher: "Okay, let's do the math. There are twelve people in line. You can't stand at the head or the end of the line. , how many ways are there?" Lei pondered: "Ah, there are twelve people, I can't be at the bottom." After a while, he finally got confused and made a mistake. The teacher was angry and ordered Lei to stand. He called Bo again: "How many people are in your group?" Bo was afraid, and after a while, he answered: "Three." Healthy short jokes 3

1. Zhao Benshan met Fan Wei by chance when he rode a donkey into the city!

Fan Wei asked: "Have you eaten?"

Zhao Benshan said: "Eat!"

Fan Wei said proudly: "I asked the donkey, what did you do? Talk!"

Zhao Benshan turned around and slapped the donkey twice, and cursed: "I have relatives in the city and I didn't even say a word."

2. A woman went to the temple to ask for a fortune. After signing a lot, he went to the master and asked: "How much does it cost, master?" The master said: "We monks don't talk about money, we talk about fate." Woman: "What fate?" The master: "20 yuan!

3. A couple was fishing by the river. The wife kept arguing. After a while, the fish took the bait. The wife said: This fish is really pitiful. The husband said: Yes, it will be fine as long as you shut up?

4. Xiaoguang is a diligent and studious student. He works part-time during the winter vacation to earn tuition by cutting meat for a butcher and working as an intern at the hospital one night. Xiaoguang pushed her into the operating room.

The old woman panicked and shouted: "Oh my God! You are the pig butcher, where are you going to push me?

5. When a person wanted to vomit when he first got on the plane, the stewardess took out an empty bag and quickly When it was full, he went to get the bag again and asked "Don't vomit". When he came back, he saw it was all over the place. When asked why, he replied: "I saw it was almost full, so I took another sip, and everyone around me vomited..." "Healthy Short Jokes 4

1. My friend once drank too much. We went up to help her, and she yelled: Help me! Help me straighten the road in front of me! !

2. The subway security in Hangzhou has been strict recently. How strict is it? The girl in front had a bun, and the security guy pinched it unconsciously. Is he worried that there was something hidden inside?

3. In the past, when I went to the hospital for a checkup and found out that I was pregnant, the doctor would say, "Congratulations." Now when I went to the hospital for a checkup and found out that I was pregnant, the doctor would ask, "Do you want it?"

4. The last time I went to the clinic to bandage my left hand, I fell in love with a beautiful nurse. I really wanted to see her today, so I deliberately cut my right hand. I came to the clinic excitedly. The beautiful nurse checked my wound and said: Yeah, the cut is a bit big today. Let my husband treat you!

5. One time I wanted to eat a lollipop, but I couldn’t remember its name. I patted my friends around me and helped me think of it. Is that lollipop called Everest or Himalaya? My friend said weakly, are you talking about the Alps? Healthy short jokes 5

1. I work in a new company and have lunch in the canteen. The eldest sister came over and asked, "Sister, were you on the track and field team before?"

I looked at my long legs and thought she was really discerning.

But as a person. As a newbie, I just said in a low-key voice: “Yes.

Eldest sister: "I'm just telling you! They still don't believe it. You look like a runner and your chest is so flat." ”

2. An elder brother sent a WeChat message to sincerely advise everyone not to eat genetically modified foods! It will be very harmful to the children! His child’s genes did not match his in the paternity test because the child ate genetically modified foods. The genes have changed. His wife told him this knowledge.

3. They say that the relationship between husband and wife is to respect and love each other! I think it makes sense! For example, I have been married to my wife for six or seven years. There has never been a quarrel! Occasionally when we have a disagreement, she just glares at me and we immediately agree.

4. A girl accidentally got stuck in the sewer while walking because her legs were too thin. After watching the news. , looked at my legs again, and breathed a sigh of relief. Thick legs still have advantages. Not to mention the sewer, even the iron railings are probably not a problem! ;