Penguin esports joke

There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" Hearing this, the polar bear tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold! " "

It is said that there is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin was so bored at home that he went out to play with the polar bear, but he forgot to lock the door on the way. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin goes home and locks it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear. Finally, it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " As a result, after the polar bear opened the door, guess what he said ... "Let's go to your house to play ~"

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, I still haven't."

"Oh. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I want two!" "

The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution.

Make the lunch box blue.

There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car. He shouted, "Quack!" From then on, he became a cucumber! !

Once upon a time there was a bird.

He passes through a cornfield every day.

But unfortunately,

One day, a fire broke out in the cornfield.

All the corn has turned into popcorn.

After the bird flew over, ...

I think it will be very cold if it snows. ...

Do you know what color Spider-Man is?

Red, wrong!

It is white.

Look at Spider-Man's English: Spider-Man (a white man)

After a party, a group of animals rushed into 7- 1 1 convenience store to buy things. Because it was too noisy, the clerk knocked it out, but left the lamb alone in the store. Why?

Convenience stores are open 24 hours a day. ...

Celery was walking when he suddenly felt a pain in his stomach. Then he hissed. What did you say he pulled out ~ ~

That's celery dung (diligence)! ! ! What color is celery (vegetable) dung?

Answer: yellow.

Because: Qin Shihuang (Qin Shihuang)

There is a fat man. ...

Jump off the top of the twentieth floor. ...

It turned out to be .....

Fat man! !

How did ants die after falling from the Himalayas?

Answer: I am starving. Because it is too light, it will take a long time to float down …

This story happened in China a long time ago.

I played a guessing game with scissors, stone and cloth all afternoon, my good friends.

Go home together, take a walk …

Si Tong noticed an oil lamp by the roadside, just like Aladdin's magic lamp.

He picked it up curiously and dusted it off.

Suddenly, white smoke came out of the bottle of Ran Ran magic lamp.

A dragon slowly emerged from the white smoke. ..

But the dragon is dry and a little malnourished.

He said, "Who let me out?" Fuzzy

Stone said: I let you out.

Dragon: "Oh … Ahem … Then I can give you a wish …" "

Stone: "Ah ... only one. Oh, there are three. "

Dragon: "I'm sorry ... because I'm a half-toned dragon ... if you don't want to, forget it ..." "

Si Tong: "OK ... and then ... can you make all three of us adults?" We are tired of guessing boxing every day. "

Dragon: "Oh ... I'll try … but maybe only one can succeed … because I'm a semitone dragon …" "

The dragon coughed a few times and spat at the three of them respectively.

The three people gradually began to be shrouded in white smoke, and the dragon gradually disappeared into the three-character sutra.

Wait until the white smoke clears. ...

Stone or stone, scissors or scissors, but cloth is no longer cloth, cloth has successfully transformed into human beings!

When one family is happy and two families are sad,

Someone happened to pass by here and saw this scene.

I recorded him,

This man is Mencius.

He wrote:

…………….

Cloth succeeded and became a man.

Then this statement spread to later generations and was added to Chinese textbooks.

One day, a man met God. ..

God suddenly kindly gave the man a wish.

God asked …

Do you have any wishes …

The man wanted to think. ...

I heard that cats have nine lives. ...

Then please give me nine lives. ..

God said, ..

Your wish has come true. ...

I want to say die. ...

There are nine lives anyway

Lying on the tracks ...

As a result, a train passed by. ...

That man is still dead ...

Why is this?

]

Because that train has 10 cars …

Have you been dating her for many years?

There seem to be fewer phones recently.

I feel weak.

Ask her why

She just lowered her head and said nothing. ...

I don't know what to do.

After all ... feelings can't be forced.

Listen to your friends.

She has been close to a man recently.

I can't believe it.

I don't want to believe it either.

Because ... I really like her. ...

But ... that day in the street.

I can't believe I saw her with another him.

Hand in hand

Very intimate joke.

instant

My heart ... is broken. ...

After my inquiry

Only then did I know that he … turned out to be a medical student.

There is also a big hospital at home.

I am a third-rate college student, so I can't compare with it. .....

I have been unable to sleep these days.

Do you still want to save our feelings? .....

I thought about it for a long time.

Decided to send her an apple every day.

because

I believe

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

Here comes a bear: ready (here comes the bear).

Book 11: Unbelievable (book 1 1)

The sheep stopped breathing: stand up straight (the sheep didn't breathe)

How to make drinks bigger? Read the great compassion mantra

One day, Mr. Wang drove home.

Suddenly there was a big rush next to him, and when he passed by, the driver shouted at him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Say that finish, 1 of "sou" took off.

Mr. Wang was very angry and stepped on the gas to catch up.

Seeing him catch up, the driver stretched out his head and shouted to him:

"Dude, have you ever driven a big run?" Then, the whoosh disappeared again.

"Mama of, cow B what!" Mr. Wang felt better after scolding, so he stopped chasing.

After driving for a while,

Mr. Wang saw that the bus just turned over on the side of the road. He was curious and slowly approached.

I saw the driver is under the car, a faint said:

"The elder brothers, ran a catastrophe? Do you know where its brakes are? "

An international student is taking a driver's license test in the United States, and the road sign ahead prompts him to turn left. He is not sure, ask the examiner:

"Turn left?"

A: "Yes"

So ... hang up. ..

Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

Man: I really love you. Please be my girlfriend! !

Woman: But I have no feelings for you at all! !

M: Well, you tell me what's wrong with me and I'll change it! ! !

Woman: Then tell me what is good about me first, and I'll change it! ! !

On the Water-splashing Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless them. Suddenly someone scolded: Shit, who poured water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing. Don't do that, the curse said. Who just threw boiling water at me?

At the beginning of freshman year, a buddy came to our dormitory carrying luggage. He asked a roommate who slept in the lower berth, "No one lives in your upper berth, right?" The sleeping buddy didn't care in a daze and casually said "no ~"

That buddy tried his best to throw a big bag of luggage into the upper berth-as a result, there was no bed board in the upper berth!

One of my high school classmates wrote a composition entitled "Back to Alma Mater". Among them: I drove an expensive sports car and went back to my alma mater with Xiaomi. Go back to your alma mater and play. Are you coming? Come and donate! Students and teachers stood on both sides of the street to welcome him, and the principal's face was full of smiles. He shouted: "Welcome Wu Million back to his alma mater!"

After reading the comment, the teacher said: Fantastic and unrealistic, take it back and rewrite it!

Rewritten content: I rode a flying pigeon bike and squeaked my wife and children back to my alma mater. Go away. Coming? The sponsor is here! The headmaster said with a big smile: "Now the school funds are also tight." Finally, only the former Chinese teacher left me 50 yuan sympathetically and repeatedly told me: "We should regain our confidence in life and re-employment!" "

After reading the teacher's comments, he wrote: profound ideas, simple writing, rare masterpieces!

School Booking Office: Tickets are particularly tight now. If you don't have the train ticket you want, will you obey the adjustment?

Me: Obey.

After getting the ticket the next day, I was very angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get a ticket to Shanxi! ! !

School booking office: Didn't you say that you obey the adjustment?

My girlfriend just texted me: "Let's break up!"

After a while, I received another message: "Sorry, I sent it wrong! ! "