He Chang's cross talk "Mr. Bai Zi"

A: First of all, I wish our beloved audience a happy and healthy family.

B: An old artist is an old artist. Look how enthusiastic the audience applauded when you came on stage.

A: Thank you.

I like you.

A: I'm flattered.

B: Look at this temperament and demeanor. Once on stage, it is different from ordinary actors.

A: Don't say that, hehe, it's not far away.

B: Look at the temperament of these eyes. Let's talk about this belly.

Hey, what happened to my stomach?

B: Oh, you are the only one who has the goods.

Oh, that's really flattering. What's in my stomach? Ha ha.

B: Your stomach is full of history.

A: Hey, hey-ah! You said that young man was well dressed and rude. I'm a machine that makes feces, huh? !

B: Misunderstanding, misunderstanding, misunderstanding.

What are you going to say?

I mean your stomach. You see, this is modern history, right? Ancient history, literary history, here is our Quyi. ...

I see. This young man talks a lot. I can totally understand what he means. Are you saying that I am knowledgeable? Classical Chinese, I am full of words.

B: Right, right, right.

A: I am ashamed. Far from it, hehe.

Modest grandson.

A: Call names, call names ... call names on my grandson!

No I don't.

I'm going deaf, too. Did I scold you, son of a bitch? ! Rude!

No. I'm praising you. Isn't that what they said? You are a modest and prudent person.

A: We won't laugh at you for it. The writing of the motherland is quite rich and complicated, so it is inevitable to make such mistakes in public. I'm sorry. Let me correct a word for you. Just now you said I ... ...

Modest grandson.

A: Wrong. "Sun" should have set off. The word is pronounced "poor" and humble.

B: Don't worry. Anyway, you are old, which is very "intentional" in my heart.

I don't have that skill yet. If I knew how to make paper, I would be transferred to a paper mill. You are wrong again. Achievement, the word means concept.

B: Ha-ha, look at your old artist's manner when he came on stage. It is really "what" to say "old and strong".

A: Huh?

B: Not tired.

A: I'm tired if you're not tired! I can see that this is not an accidental mispronouncing or two. This Mr. Bai Zi shook his head like a scholar. He wants to say "you can scream" when he wants to say something, but he doesn't know the word. He pronounced "what" and "what". You might as well call me "Old Street"!

What do you mean?

Where did you say that?

B: it's easy to understand. "Be strong when you are old." That is to say, you don't look at age. Your art eclipses this young man and his prime of life.

A: Don't talk nonsense.

I criticize you, but that's not right.

What is wrong with me?

B: you don't have it here.

A: What's the matter?

B: I'll compliment you as soon as I get on stage. Let me praise your art in front of everyone.

A: No need.

B: He found mine broken.

What do you mean "broken"? Oh, it's ugly, it's a defect!

I really like you. I've heard you talk cross talk since I was a child.

A: I'm flattered.

B: Oh, your cross talk is not just for our audience to "play by mistake".

A: OK, OK, not awkward. Entertainment activities, entertainment.

B: I'm here to play.

No, I'm happy everywhere.

B: polyphonic words, polyphonic words.

A: No, it's not polyphony. It depends on entertainment.

B: Well, your cross talk is not only for entertainment, but also "silent".

A: It contains no ink. I'm afraid it will make my mouth black. This word is quiet and humorous.

B: Your crosstalk can be said to be "inflammatory".

A: Welcome!

B: After listening, everyone was very excited.

A: What a relief!

Especially me, as drunk as a fiddler.

A: OK, OK, don't listen to my cross talk. You will become a drunk eggplant after listening to it. You are so drunk!

B: I mean this old comrade. We old-timers are serious and responsible about our work.

I should.

B: You can say "not a word".

A: What?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I slipped up. I should say you are naked.

Well, ah-I want to dance naked! Don't say a word ... say "Gou"

Where can I call you that?

What are you calling me for? You have to say "Gou"!

B: You want to say "dog"?

A: Of course.

B: if you are old.

A: Hey-let's go!

B: Then I can't call you an old dog.

A: Nonsense! This makes me very confused.

B: What a temper!

Well, you just said I was serious, and you were right. What else is there?

B: Don't say anything.

A: Well, there is also a cursive prefix that should be called "meticulous".

I'm cautious ... Oh, I know you.

Really?

B: I heard them introduce me to Chang Lao, who likes to make friends.

Oh, I have many friends.

B: He makes friends, which can be called "kissing others".

A: No, I don't have that bad habit! Treat people!

B: don't look at my young age. I want to forget what I said to you today. How's it going?

A: I'm so happy.

B: I'm a little self-sufficient today.

A: What is the purpose of self-help? Introduce yourself.

I was so mean to you.

Go ahead, volunteer.

B: Let's talk about it sometime. I like chatting.

Really?

I know you. You have a solid literary foundation.

A: I just like it.

I like literature very much.

This word sounds cool.

Many great Chinese and foreign writers like reading famous books.

A: Do you look like an ordinary reader or a Chinese and foreign writer? Who do foreign writers know?

B: Test me?

I'm not testing you. Let's talk about this problem together.

Too many.

A: You name one.

Too many.

A: Who is it?

B: Who's that?

A: Who's calling?

B: One of them belongs to the former Soviet Union, right? !

A: Since that period.

B: There was a man in the former Soviet Union.

A: Who?

Who, Guo ... Li Guofa, very good, very good, great writer.

A: He doesn't even have the confidence to speak. I told you to remember, Nikolai Nikolai Gogol, that word is written like this, and this word is pronounced.

What I like best is the man who writes comedies. What's his name? Ok, ok, ok. ...

No, I know TA's sister, Molly. That's a great writer named Moliere!

B: The old man is serious, you are serious! This belongs to transliteration, you know? You can pronounce it any way you want. He is a foreigner. ...

You argue irrationally!

This is ridiculous ... China! I like China writers best!

China, which writer are you familiar with?

B: the most famous one!

A: Who?

B: Cao Ou!

A: Go! Want to eat lotus root, go to the vegetable market to buy it!

B: What's the vegetable market for?

What is Cao Ou doing? !

Writer.

I know. I've written Thunderstorm, Sunrise and the Willem Trilogy. That's Mr. Cao Yu, who read Yu.

B: There is a writer in Beijing who I like very much.

Who is familiar with Beijing?

B: Oh, CSI.

A: CSI? Lao she! Ouch!

He has a famous book that I like to read best.

What works?

B: it's all made into a movie!

A: What's its name?

It looks like a camel!

What are you doing this for? Xiangzi camel!

My family likes TV plays.

What do you see?

B: As far as we are concerned, my daughter-in-law loves to watch that Korean drama.

A: What TV series is it called?

B: Isn't this a hot item the other day?

A: What is it?

Big gold.

How is Zhang today? So thin, you should see big and long meat, big and long today!

I like watching domestic movies myself.

What do you like to watch?

B: It's a classic.

A: What is it?

B: Zhao!

A: The Yongzheng Dynasty ... Oh, yes, a TV series was replayed recently. You should see it.

Which one?

Xu Shui, you look perfect. In the biography of Xu Shui, there are some characters with beards, Li Da. Oh, that's great. His weapon is two Da Die.

Well, I'll watch this one sometime.

what are you reading? The theater is too hot for you to keep warm. This is sheer nonsense. Go outside and "Beijing Express Beijing Express"! Now the young man must improve his culture.

What do you mean?

You are in public. You don't want others to laugh at your vernacular!

B: As you can see, I stood here without saying a word to White.

Do you understand the typo?

A typo? Me? Unexplained plagiarism!

Ah, open your mouth!

B: Don't treat me as young. I am not young at all!

A: Naive!

B: I've always been considerate!

A: Yes!

B: Hot!

A: Yes!

B: Isn't it cooked in hot water?

A: Ah! Be modest! Always look up the dictionary and write big words!

B: Look, look, it means "dancing with both hands and feet"!

I call this a dance with both hands and feet? !

Oh, my God, that's great! I know you!

A: What's its name?

B: Hum, "picky".

Ah, fuck you!

(End)