Inspiring little jokes

A selection of inspirational jokes

Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in plot, often unexpected, and give people the wonderful feeling that the god of laughter suddenly comes. Most of them reveal the perverse phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different levels of interest. The following is a selection of inspirational jokes that I have compiled. You are welcome to share them.

Inspirational Jokes 1

1. Whenever I take an exam and score 30 or 40 points, do you really think that I did it alone!

p>

2. The old bitter vines and old trees are sleeping with crows, the prices in the cafeteria are rising again, and the classmates are starved to death. The sun is setting, Mom, I want to go home~

3. A very serious academic question suddenly occurred to me, who set 60 points as passing.

4. Some people are good at geography, some are good at physics, some are good at history, some are good at mathematics, some are good at Chinese, some are good at English, some are good at chemistry, and I have a good mentality.

5. From elementary school to university, the only thing that remains unchanged is a heart that doesn’t want to study.

6. It’s not your fault to be a mistress, but it’s your fault to study in university.

7. Go to sleep and let others go to class!

8. I told my best friend: My boyfriend has a long beard and it’s prickly. My best friend said: Yes, your boyfriend’s beard is short and hard, and it hurts! They are indeed good besties...

9. It’s summer, and the situation on campus is basically: girls dress like nightclubs, and boys dress like migrant workers. Inspiring Little Jokes 2

1. How can I not get my shoes wet when I often walk by the river? Since my shoes are wet, I might as well take a shower!

2. Stand while bungee jumping What do you think about most? Anyway, I want to pee!

3. Dare to change your brain capacity and stomach capacity!

4. The whole world All perfume brands, don’t brag. Who dares to say that the scent of their brand’s perfume can overwhelm a pancake in a subway car? I won’t even mention leek pie to you. If I mention that, I’m bullying you.

5. In the past, I often heard insect fans, plant fans, and math fans; now I hear computer fans, game fans, and money fans!

6. No matter how gorgeous and beautiful it is, The screen name, in the end, was defeated by the remarks.

7. Drink less wine to stimulate your appetite. Don't worry about the consequences. Smoking can damage the lungs. Tea, drink more to reduce fire. Just say as little as possible. Being unknown is the most valuable thing!

8. If you don’t go to work or go to school, what is the time pattern for getting up at what time for people of which generation: those born in the 40s, get up at 4 o’clock; those born in the 50s, get up at 5 o’clock; those born in the 60s, get up at 5 o’clock; Get up at 6 o'clock; those born in the 70s, get up at 7 o'clock; those born in the 80s, get up at 8 o'clock; those born in the 90s, get up at 9 o'clock.

9. "Master, why do you always talk about Amitabha?"

"Donor, I think it would be too vulgar for a monk to express his emotions using "hehe". Amitabha. ”

10. Wukong said: Except for following Douyun, everything else is just floating clouds. Inspiring little jokes Part 3

1. How popular it would be if the breast expansion movements in radio gymnastics were incorporated into breast enlargement exercises.

2. Good deeds will be rewarded with good deeds, and evil deeds will be rewarded with evil deeds. It’s not that there will be no retribution... You are too heavy for me to carry.

3. Facts have proved: No matter how strong your desire to lose weight is, your stomach will scream loudly when you are hungry!

4. If you are well, it will be sunny. Look here today weather, you should be dead!

5. I think the theme of "Titanic" is similar to that of "Soldier Assault": don't abandon, don't give up, live well and do meaningful things.

6. Wukong cursed loudly: "Tang Monk, you are such a pervert, you actually set the ring bell as a tightening curse!"

7. I just saw a child eating ice cream in the elevator. Concerned, he told him smoothly: "Such a cold day will be bad for your body!".

The child told me that his grandma lived to be 103 years old.

I asked: "Eat ice cream?"

He said: "No, my grandma never cares about other people's business!"

How profound! Now I finally know why I am aging so fast!

What a waste of worry...

8. Faced with the skyrocketing price of ramen, it is meaningless to complain and condemn. Immediately vent your anger and redeem yourself by adding more chili oil and vinegar. Loss is the way to go.

9. Du Fu: A row of egrets ascending to the blue sky. Bao Zheng: Damn it, you...

10. My wife just gave birth to a daughter, and my husband is a little disappointed. The wife said: "Although she is a daughter, her nose and mouth look so much like yours! How beautiful!" The husband sighed: "Hey, the most important thing is that I still look like you!"

11. Listen to Xu Zhian One of the songs is called "Why did you go behind my back to love others", and I couldn't help but sigh, Xu Zhian's girlfriend is so strong. Inspirational Jokes Part 4

1. My 7-year-old son ran into the house and proudly showed me a wriggling caterpillar crawling on his hand. I was scared when I saw the bug, but I couldn't let my son see it, so I said in a relaxed tone: "Get it outside quickly, its mother must be looking for it."

The son turned around Walking out, I thought I had achieved my goal. But who would have expected that he would come back soon, with two caterpillars crawling on his hands: "Mom, I brought its mother too!"

2. My son had just entered the first grade and one day he forgot He brought a pencil case, and his anxious mother rushed to bring it to him during class. The teacher touched his son's head and whispered: "Say goodbye to mom."

Immediately, dozens of students in the class shouted in unison: "Goodbye, mom!"

3. Dad: "Don't move your feet while eating."

Son: "Why did you see my feet under the table? Is it because your feet have corns?"

Son: "Why did you see my feet under the table?"

4. My 3-year-old daughter said she could make sentences, so I asked her to make a sentence using the word "young", and she immediately made one: "Mom lost weight and lost a lot of pounds in one year."

5. To express my passion for my son, I named him "Excellence". It has been 7 years and there has been no problem with this name. I was watching TV the night before yesterday, and there was an advertisement playing on the TV. The slogan was "Challenge Limits and Pursue Excellence." My son suddenly asked me: "Dad, why are they pursuing me?"

6. Children's party, everyone performs a show.

One of the children was very good and went on stage to perform and play the piano. After the performance, the parents watching the show below kept shouting for her to play another one.

The teacher asked her if she wanted to play another song. As a result, the child was so anxious that she almost cried: "I didn't play it wrong, why do you need me to play it again?"

7. It is indeed my biological child

Last night while watching TV, my wife farted very loudly, and I was just about to say something to ridicule her. The five-year-old son next to him said silently: "The lights in the corridor are on..."

8. The financial crisis is coming

The son took the family's cash to the balcony and scattered it. Said: "The financial crisis is coming!"

9. I have pocket money myself

Me: Little girl, uncle can buy you some candy. Little girl: I have my own pocket money. Me: Tsk, how much pocket money do you have? Little girl: I have saved more than eight thousand. Me: Well... can I buy a pack of cigarettes for my uncle?

10. You can’t take the train at night

My son and his mother were chatting on the train. Son: Mom, you can’t take the train at night, there’s a ghost there! Mom: Don’t talk nonsense, there’s a ghost somewhere! Children: There are railroad tracks! Inspirational jokes 5

1. The husband left work early and When I got home, I found my wife in a panic when I entered the door. When the husband opened the closet to put his coat, he found a naked man hiding inside! The husband said angrily: "Who are you?" The man did not answer.

Then the husband said in confusion: "Hey! You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?" At this time, the man raised his head and said calmly: "Of course, last time it was in my closet."

2. The wife kept complaining that her breasts were not plump! So she asked her husband for money for breast augmentation surgery, but the husband refused to listen to her repeated persuasion. The husband couldn't bear it anymore and said, "We don't have enough money at home now, can you do it for a while?" From then on, his wife never asked for breast augmentation again.

3. My wife has just given birth to a daughter, and my husband is a little disappointed. The wife said: "Although she is a daughter, her nose and mouth look so much like yours! How beautiful!" The husband sighed: "Hey, the most important thing is that I still look like you!"

4. I am pregnant. It’s been 5 months, and my petite figure has almost turned into a bucket!

Whenever I see my husband is still so handsome, I get angry! So every night I find various reasons to let him go. He serves me! Last night, he had fallen asleep and was pulled up by me. I ordered: "My waist is very sore, rub it for me." My husband didn't even bother to open his eyes, so he stretched out his hand and groped for a long time based on his feeling. Then he suddenly said: "It's strange, my waist is gone. How could it happen?" Where are you sour?" Inspiring Little Jokes Chapter 6

1. Ji Xiaolan was a bachelor in the Qing Dynasty. Once, when he went home to visit relatives during the New Year, a family of three brothers in the village asked him to write Spring Festival couplets, and he wrote one The subtitles are "Earth-shattering portals, count one or two families", and the horizontal comment is the Spring Festival couplet of "Behead first and then play". This was a serious matter. Someone accused him of deceiving the emperor in the name of "guilty". Emperor Qianlong learned of this and summoned Ji Xiaolan back to Beijing for questioning. Ji Xiaolan replied: "I wrote the Spring Festival couplets right! The boss of this company sells firecrackers, isn't it an 'earth-shattering portal'? The second boss is in charge of Dou in the market. He kept shouting "One Dou, Two Dou" all day long, didn't he count one or two people? The third one was selling roasted chicken, didn't he say, "Behead first and then show off"?" Qianlong also laughed after what he said.

2. At the end of the year, the husband’s private money, which he had saved for a year, was discovered by his wife. The wife got angry and punched her husband's gold-rimmed glasses.

The husband covered his face and said aggrievedly: "What age are we in, and you still use the planned economy to control me, leaving me with no autonomy at all."

"The independent power lies with me. Now that the economy is revitalizing, we must also crack down on economic crimes."

3. Wife: "Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, what are you going to give my mother?" Husband: "How much are you going to give me?" Have a nice cigarette!" Wife: "Are you crazy? It has been more than five years since my father passed away. My mother doesn't smoke at all. Why do you give her cigarettes?" Husband: "Because every time I go to her place, she just Treat me to tea. ”

4. Two days ago, my company issued a year-end bonus. Unfortunately, I was on a business trip, so I sent a text message to ask my colleague to collect it for me.

Yesterday, I came back from a business trip. As soon as I arrived at the company, I went directly to my colleagues to ask for my year-end bonus. When I saw my colleague, I explained my purpose of coming. After listening to what I said, my colleague did not directly give me the bonus. Instead, he took out his mobile phone and said guiltily: "Xiao Zhang, I'm so sorry. Please call my wife and explain. On the night of the bonus payment, My wife found your year-end bonus, and she confiscated the money as my private money..."

5. An American couple living in China were talking about Chinese festivals. The wife said: "My dear, we are celebrating the Spring Festival again. Twenty years ago, we celebrated Children's Day; ten years later, we celebrated Youth Day; in another ten years, you celebrated Father's Day and I celebrated Mother's Day; and again After ten years, we celebrate the Old People’s Day, so what holiday will we celebrate after another ten years?” The husband replied: “Qingming Festival.”

"Inspirational Jokes Chapter 7

1. Satisfaction

"Hey, how are you, Frederick," his father asked, "Is your female teacher satisfied with you?"

"Ah, yes, Dad, very satisfied." "How do you know? Did I tell you personally?"

"Of course, Dad, she said to me the day before yesterday: "If all students were like you

I would leave school right away." This means that I have learned everything."

2. Benefits

College What benefits do the surrounding public places have for academic studies?

1. Discotheque: English

2. Billiard Hall: Mathematics and Physics

3. Tavern: Chemistry

4. Hotel: Biology

3. Go study

A student threw a coin into the air: if it came up heads, he went to see a movie. If the coin is up, go play billiards. If the coin stands up, go to study.

4. One hour of happiness

Principal of the female high school: Classmates, you are in a state of depravity. In this era, you are surrounded by temptations. I want to ask you a question,

Is it worthwhile to exchange one hour of happiness for a lifetime of humiliation?

Student: Principal, a How to achieve hours of happiness?

5. Abstract painting

When submitting homework to the art teacher, one student only handed in a blank piece of paper.

The teacher asked: "Where is the painting?"

The student replied: "Here?" He pointed at the white paper and said.

The teacher: "What are you painting?"

Student: "Cows eat grass. "

Teacher: "Where is the grass?"

Student: "The cow has eaten all. "

Teacher: "Where is the cow?"

Student: "The grass has been eaten up, what are the cows still doing standing there?"

6. Grievance

Father: "Son, how come you have become the worst student in the class?" Son

"Can you blame me? It turns out that the worst student has transferred to another school. "

7. Inertia

Inertia Example The physics teacher was teaching the lesson on inertia, and a student was talking nonsense below.

The teacher gave him a hint, but He still goes his own way. Teacher: What did I just say?

Student: Inertia

Teacher: Please give me an example

Student: I was below just now Although you gave me a hint, I couldn't stop right away. This is inertia.

8. Notice

"What's wrong with you today? You've been fiddling with it for so long. What does it do?" The father said, taking the notice from his son and flipping through it. There were comments written by the teacher on it: "Shooting slingshots in class, putting bugs in classmates' pockets... Invite parents to talk. "

"If you do this in school, who will you be when you grow up?" the father yelled at his son.

"Dad, this is not my notice. I found it in your old box. "

9. My father infected me

One day both the father and his son got up very late. The father did not go to work and the son did not go to school.

" In the office, people think I'm sick. And what about you? When your classmates asked you, what did you say?" the father asked his son.

"I said, my father's disease infected me. ”

10. It’s ridiculous

One day, my mother killed a mouse in the house. She didn’t want the neighbors to know, so she told the little boy not to tell others, because the mouse was Dirty. Unexpectedly, Xiao Yaoer said to his classmates: "My family has a secret that is too dirty to tell you.

"

11. Me in 30 Years

The teacher assigned a composition topic "Me in 30 Years" in the fifth-grade composition class.

Class Xiaomei, a girl on the Internet, wrote: ...The weather is good today. I took my child to the park to play. I drove the luxury car that my husband bought for me, and wore on my finger the big bag he just bought for me. I was wearing a diamond ring and the gold chain he gave me just last month. I was walking in the park with my lovely child, and people looked at me with envy everywhere. Suddenly, a man with a foul smell and a face covered in mud rushed out on the road. , the homeless old lady, I took a closer look, my God! She turned out to be my Chinese teacher in the fifth grade of elementary school...

12. Dad is hungry

Dad gave me The children talked about how they were poor and often hungry when they were young. After hearing the story, the little daughter had tears in her eyes and only ate half of the cake in her hand. She said to her father with great sympathy: "Oh, Dad, I know. Yes, you came to our house because you had no food, right?" ;