Couple humor, 100 thousand cold jokes

Couples humor 100 thousand cold jokes: a:? I find my wife is getting worse and worse to me. ? b:？ In what way? A:? Recently, she tied my tie and tied it tighter every time. ? More wonderful jokes are in the joke column, welcome to enjoy!

Couples humor 100,000 cold jokes (1) 1, and have dinner with a couple in the evening. The woman is pregnant, and she hates her potbellied husband, touching her belly and saying, Son, you should let your father conceive you. Your mother's belly is affordable, and your father's belly is large! ?

Husband patted his trembling stomach with a wry smile: That's the building area, the oil booth is too big and the living area is not much. ?

2, my husband drank too much and vomited when he came back to the toilet.

I asked distressfully: What happened?

The husband said deadpan. Probably pregnant. ?

3. The company commander of a special force has excellent climbing skills, but he is afraid of his wife.

One day, my wife came to the team and lived in the company. Because of trivial matters, my wife was angry, and the company commander said, if you scold me again, I will jump off the building! ?

Wife:? Then jump! ?

The company commander opened the window, flew out and jumped from the third floor.

The wife shouted: No! ?

Looking out of the window, the company commander has landed unscathed.

The wife went downstairs and pointed at her nose and cursed: Isn't the special forces company commander awesome? ! Haven't you ever been forced by your wife to jump off a building? ! ?

Couples humor 100 thousand cold jokes (2) 1, wife:? Honey, don't see me off on the platform. I'm afraid you'll be sad, and the platform ticket will cost another dollar. ?

Husband:? Never mind, it's worth spending a dollar to send you away! ?

2. Husband and wife were shopping when suddenly the wife said:? Just now, a beautiful woman looked at you again. ?

Husband said:? She's not in love with me, is she?

The wife said:? Affectionate! Probably because people think you look like the last time you washed her range hood. ?

Someone wrote on the stone wall of the scenic spot:? I'm glad to bring my wife here, and I want to leave a word for it. ?

A few days later, there was another line next to it: I am more happy to visit here without my wife. I want to leave a message for it. ?

4. a:? My wife and I are the only people in the family. We always vote and the result is always neck and neck. But recently, I always fail to vote. ?

b:？ Why?

A:? He is pregnant. Two votes. ?

Marriage certificates are only useful in divorce. Let's burn it. We won't need it in the future. A match burned the marriage certificate.

Later, it was taken away by the hotel's anti-vice personnel.

Couples humor 100 thousand cold jokes (3) 1, my husband asked: what should I do if I am going to have an affair?

The wife smiled: I am very gentle, and I will maim you at most, but I won't kill you!

The husband was moved and said, that's very kind of you!

The wife smiled and said, if we can't be husband and wife, we can still be sisters!

2. The husband came home from work with a deep red on his forehead, and his wife was very angry after seeing it. Why is there lipstick! ?

Husband:? Not lipstick, but blood. I had an accident driving home and hit my forehead on the steering wheel. ?

The wife smiled and said, you are so lucky. ?

3. The wife wants to repair her husband with shackles and let him borrow it.

My husband muttered as he walked. Wife: What are you whispering about?

Husband: I said we should have a pair of torture devices ourselves.

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