Classic lines from "Big Shot" Mental Hospital

Multiple hilarious variant versions of Feng Xiaogang's "Big Shot"

Original lines

You must choose the best prime location

Hire a French designer

You must build the highest-grade apartments

Elevator access directly into your home

The minimum apartment size must be 400 square meters

What kind of broadband Yeah, optical cables, satellites

Everything that can be connected to him will be connected to him

There is a garden upstairs and a swimming pool inside the building

The building There is a British butler standing inside

Wearing a wig, he is a very gentleman

As soon as the owner comes in, he has to tell others whether there is anything wrong

may i help you sir

An authentic British London accent

Beer has face

Build another aristocratic school in the community, and the teaching materials will be from Harvard

The tuition alone costs tens of thousands of dollars a year

Build another American clinic and provide 24-hour treatment

In one word - expensive

It will cost you 18,000 yuan to treat a cold

The neighbors around you either drive a BMW or a Mercedes-Benz

What if you drive a Japanese car

You are too embarrassed to say hello to others

How much does an apartment like this cost per square meter?

I think it costs two thousand dollars no matter what

Two thousand dollars? ! That’s the cost

Starting from $4,000

Don’t discount it if it’s too expensive

You have to study the owner’s shopping psychology

Homeowners who are willing to spend two thousand dollars to buy a house

Don’t care about spending another two thousand dollars

Do you know what a successful person is?

Successful people are like

Everything they buy is the most expensive, not the best

So, our slogan in real estate is

Don’t seek the best, but seek the most expensive

Internet Goulang Edition

You must have the most attractive name

Learn from Qiong Yao’s novels

Just go to the chat room with the most men on the site

Greet directly in a private voice

I am very familiar with the action instructions

What//kiss, //love, //ai

Give him all you can use

Get out of his mailbox and ask him to add you on QQ

QQ avatar is required Choose the right one

Big eyes, very innocent kind

I want to talk about anything and everything

Why did you come here? I am so boring

I also want to add a kiss symbol: *

Beier is sensational

I have a world with him from time to time

I have to use a headset to chat

I have to say "I miss you" dozens of times a day

And then send him a photo, a hazy artistic photo

It's just one word - —Beautiful

The photos alone make him drool a lot

Everyone else has photos of celebrities, photo albums

If you get a one-inch barehead

You are too embarrassed to tell people that you have photos

How many people can such a beautiful woman seduce in a day?

"I think it should be thirty or fifty no matter what"

Thirty or fifty? ! That’s for you to kill your wife and children, starting from 150

Don’t think it’s too much, it doesn’t include saying “hello”

You have to study the psychology of men online

The master who is willing to go online to find a girl

What he wants is to find a beautiful one

Do you know what it means to have nothing to do?

The best thing to do is find 8 girls to chat with at the same time

They are all looking for the most beautiful one, not the one they love the most

So, our slogan is to hook up with wolves online. That’s it

Don’t ask for your favorite, but the most beautiful one

Looking for a wife

You must choose the one with the most status

No matter what Graduated from a formal American school with a master's degree

p>Look for the prettiest and fittest one

She is the school belle in school

The height must be at least 1.70 meters

What about piano and dancing? , karaoke OK

A plenary meeting that ordinary people can do

You have to have a special temper

I will always teach you like a third grandson

To find such a master

You have to get up at 5:00 in the morning to prepare breakfast, and you have to come back early in the evening to cook

Stand at the door of the building when you are ready

Wear an apron, very respectful

As soon as she comes in, no matter what happens, you have to tell others

may i help you dear

Speaks of an authentic London accent

Beer has face

Go out to play when you have nothing to do

Stay in the presidential suite

Just staying in a hotel alone costs tens of thousands of dollars a year

My wife is so ostentatious and socializing

Spending money 24 hours a day

In one word - expensive

Perfume alone costs 18,000 yuan

If you don’t do this in this industry, you will be looked down upon

The neighbors around you are not movie stars. She's a piao singer

If you find a Japanese girl

You'll be embarrassed to say hello

How much do you have to pay for such a wife in a day?

I think it’s two thousand dollars no matter what.

Two thousand dollars? ! That was ten years after marriage

Starting from four thousand dollars

Don’t discount it if it’s too expensive

You have to study the psychology of bachelors in choosing a spouse

A man who is willing to pay two thousand dollars a day to support his wife

I don’t care if he pays another two thousand dollars a day

Do you know what it means to be a bitch?

Even when you are looking for a wife

you always look for the one who is the hardest to raise but not the one who is the best

The pick-up version

You must choose the one who is the best. Beautiful girl

The kind with unique temperament

Pop up the proudest and most reserved girl

Send the love letter directly to her hand

The number of words must be at least eight or nine times more than Das Kapital

What about Nestlé, Dove, Montagnard

Send her whatever you can

Here is hot milk in the morning and fresh orange juice in the evening

There is also a rose hidden in the bag

The kind that brings you energy with water drops

Every day Block her

No matter who is around her, no one has to say it

The days are short when I see you, but the days when I miss you are long

An authentic Parisian gangster accent

Beier touching

Hold a candlelight dinner for her birthday

The drinks are takeaway

The tip alone is one hundred and eighty Block

Be completely intoxicated again

Follow her twenty-four hours a day

Just one word - love

Blink I have to look at her hundreds of times

People who come are either leaning on Mazi or straddling Xiaomi

If you bring a classmate here, you will be embarrassed to say hello

How many girls can you pick up with this way?

How many girls can you pick up in a year?

I think it must be six or seven.

Six or seven? ! It was a disaster year

At least twelve

Don’t think it’s too much and it won’t crash

You have to study our quality level

Those who are truly philanthropic

don’t care if they change each other every month

Do you know what a love killer is?

What a love killer is

What are you doing? We only pick up the best girls, not the easy ones

So our slogan for picking up girls is

We don’t ask for easy picks, but the best ones

Postgraduate entrance examination version

You must apply to Peking University and Tsinghua University

Look for the most popular department

Take the exam and take the major that mm heard ogling about

Don’t even think about looking for a job

p>The review time must be at least twenty-four hours a day

What about graduation projects, internships, and gf

Let it fool you if it can be fooled

Zhang Jinxin is tucked under the pillow, and Ren Rufen is beside the toilet

Holding a signature pen in his hand

Three yuan, the kind Bo Shi buys

Whenever I encounter a place where I can write, I have to practice composition when I have time

There's no denying the fact that...

An authentic Zhu Taiqi accent

Beer has face

Put another ten piles of notes in the bag

Be sure to find out what the teacher said about the question

The copying fee alone will cost several hundred

Order another book of test questions for professional courses

Collect all the papers from the year when you had a dog

Just one word - all

English reading is the key point

The idiots around me either make three mistakes or four mistakes

If you make five mistakes

You will be embarrassed to follow People say you are taking the postgraduate entrance examination

You said that with such preparation, what score will you get in the end?

I think it should be three hundred and fifty no matter what, right?

Three hundred and five? ! That's a fool's errand

Starting from 400 points

Don't be too high, it's just enough for the re-examination

You have to study the current postgraduate entrance examination situation

A major that can force you to get 350 points in the exam

I don’t care if I give you another 50 points

Do you know what a successful person is?

Successful people are those who answer the most accurate questions no matter which question they answer

Not the most correct ones

So, our slogan for the postgraduate entrance examination is

Don’t seek the most Yes, but seek the most accurate

Exam version

Be sure to choose the most difficult chapter in the book to teach

Look for the most marginal concepts

Just find the teacher who likes to catch people the most

The course selection list will be sent directly to the school's academic affairs office within three days

If you want to withdraw from the class, there is no way

During the exam, SSB, DSB-SC, PCM, 2ASK

Give him all the questions that can be tested

Ask a retired doctor to come up with a few difficult questions

The test paper needs to be printed for forty or fifty pages at a time, and the font is size 5

Normally, it doesn’t matter if the students finish their homework or not

You have to Leave exercises when you have nothing to do

"You can do your homework - get up"

When giving lectures, all professional terms are used, and Beier makes the teaching assistants admire them

Give me some more The students are given a few computer-based questions

It must be authentic and difficult questions that cannot be solved by graduate students

It will take a long time just to make the students complain

Other teachers will either test the entire book or test 11 chapters

If you only test the first 10 chapters, you will be embarrassed to tell others that you teach this course

How many people can you say you can catch with this preparation?

I think there are only three or four in the end

Three or four? ! That's a guarantee, there must be at least two dozen

Do you know what a teacher with a sense of accomplishment is?

It's the students who have heard of him

Would rather not have enough credits I can’t graduate, and I don’t dare to choose his class

(Post time: 2002-11-03 19:14:53)

Reply (11): Menstrual Edition

Be sure to choose the most X topic in MOP to talk about

Find the highlight section

Look for the X most topic

Look for it Everyone has seen it, everyone has laughed at it, and no one is embarrassed to mention it again

After choosing it, come up with a topic that everyone has seen

At worst, it will cause others to enter the dark room

In the post, write whatever is boring, and whatever is most familiar to you

Let him use everything from menstruation to naming

Add some jokes and connections from the past.

Report a few adults to become famous

The character

Add a eye-catching light and throw a bunch of circles and wait for people to be fooled

Wait for people to reply and don’t delete it no matter what it is

A look on your face Seriously, don’t say that word if you’ve seen it before

Anyway, if you have the nerve to post it, don’t care what others say

That’s the word...I can’t say it

Wait for another three to five days and get upvoted seventy or eighty times by yourself

How many replies can a post like this get?

I have to have one no matter what. Three or four hundred?

Three or four hundred? ! That was a nationwide blackout

At least thousands

Do you know what the word MOP is called?

It means that all MOP knows your post

p>

You can easily get hundreds of replies