Is it really lonely to have two daughters and no sons when you are old? Let people look down?

In response to the subject's question, "Is it really lonely to have two daughters without sons?" My answer is that maybe 20 years ago, but definitely not now.

My hometown is in the countryside. Among those neighbors, there are many families with only daughters and no sons. According to the elders, when they were young, they all tried their best to have a son. It's a pity that God didn't make people happy. Because at that time, they were under too much external pressure and were often called "homeless people". No matter how good the family conditions are, no matter how good the self conditions are, as long as there is no son, you can't hold your head high and be discriminated against everywhere.

It's been 20 years since Ran Ran. Let's look at those who have no sons.

In fact, like the subject, I have two daughters. At first, my mother-in-law looked unhappy. My mother also advised me to have another son, and I refused. First: I can't afford it. The second child has tried his best. Second: having another child is not necessarily a son. Third: my husband and I are married, and my husband is also in love with me. I can totally ignore my mother-in-law's unhappiness. Fourth: having a daughter is really less stressful than having a son. If the son doesn't help buy a house, he may not be able to marry a wife. It's icing on the cake for parents to help buy a house. Not helping does not prevent her from finding happiness.

No matter what we have, our parents can't control it. The only thing we can control is to cultivate children and adjust their mentality.

Parents are the biggest umbrella for children. If parents don't look down on their daughters, others naturally dare not look down. Only when such girls go out can they be more confident and confident.

There is no difference in intelligence between men and women. If you train your daughter well, she will certainly become a useful person. How can a successful daughter be looked down upon by others? As for the problem of loneliness in old age, most of the feelings in the world are bought with one point. If parents put their heart and effort into their children when they are young. When children grow up, they will be grateful and will try to accompany their parents. I just don't like it. Spoiled people often let their parents "support their enemies with one load of rice."

It is said that people's hearts are hard to satisfy and they are always looking forward to it. But in fact, we can try to adjust our mentality. If we have a good attitude, we can overcome all the difficulties and regrets. If you have a bad attitude, you will get more, but you still want more.

If you don't have a son and two daughters, you will be lonely and looked down upon when you are old. Maybe some people will think that this sentence was very reasonable in China before the reform and opening up. With the development of society, this sentence is out of date. On the contrary, if you have two daughters, you will feel the warmth of your family more.

Why do you feel looked down upon when you have a daughter and no son?

In the past, the productivity of social environment was low, and both working in cities and farming in rural areas needed strong physical support. In the countryside, you have no choice but to farm in a down-to-earth manner. If you don't plant well, you will starve. At that time, there were no conditions for mechanized planting. Farming is all manual labor. It's all shoulder grinding. Men have physical advantages. In particular, the plough and palladium fields are men's. A family. If you have no son. That means you don't have a successor, so you have to ask others for help when you farm. Depending on his face. The other party will not embarrass you if you are pleasing to the eye, and will not help you if you are unhappy. Because they can't ask you. You will often ask them. The most exasperating thing is that some people neither promise you nor refuse you decisively when you make a request. Let you stand in front of him awkwardly and listen to his rambling. Not going or staying! That feeling will make you feel ashamed. Especially the kind that looks at the weather. I'm counting on this critical moment of shower transplanting. He deliberately gives you a hard time, which will make you have a strong sense of your son at all costs even if the sky falls, so that you can have dignity. So look at how many families have five or six daughters and never give up the idea of having sons.

In the old concept, a daughter is always someone else's. When she marries and helps others to form a family, she has to pay for it and send it to others' homes. She was laughing, lost her dowry, and always worried that her daughter would be bullied at her husband's house. Fuck my heart. My daughter is at her husband's house at the critical moment of need. I can't help myself. In this way, in people's minds, there is a saying that "the daughter suffers." In emphasizing the concept of "more children and more happiness", the advantages of marrying a daughter and having grandchildren are self-evident compared with the latter.

Before: everyone's cultural level was not high. Thought is also very closed. Living conditions are not good either. The mind is more sensitive. Insecure. I always feel that others will treat me badly and bully me. Therefore, when we encounter a trivial matter about the occupation of the field corner and the loss of chickens and ducks, it will change from a trivial matter to a major event. The two sides cursed each other and fought from time to time! Fighting depends on strength. You have a son in your family. Although neither of them is a strong son, the other does not dare to be reckless. Then if there is only a daughter, then the other party has nothing to hide. He'll eat you, and you won't be able to fight back. In this case, can you say that the son is not important?

Why can't someone look down on you without a son now?

The social environment is different now. Mechanization from urban to rural areas has replaced many manual jobs. Marrying a tall daughter-in-law was a priority in the past. Now it depends on whether you are slim and have a good face. Now 70, 80, 90, how many people can you see farming? People have flocked to cities, and they can earn a salary to support their families without too much physical needs. If you have a skill, less than a month's salary can buy a year's rations for a large family, which is more than enough. And now in cities, girls have an advantage over boys in finding jobs.

Nowadays, the cost of raising children in society is very high, and the previous "women without talent are virtuous" has become a thing of the past. Although girls have no obvious advantage in the cost of education. But when it comes to marriage, the advantages are worlds apart. The requirement of a man's marriage for a car and a house has made an ordinary family heavily in debt. The astronomical bride price rising year after year makes people talk about marriage. After several generations of efforts, the whole family is under great pressure to marry a wife. It's much better than the family that raises daughters now. No matter what the conditions are, parents can leave a good reputation as long as they try their best. So you will envy others and say, "It's very kind of you to raise your daughter."

(3) The daughter is considerate.

I believe no one will object to the advantage that women are more cautious than men. Most boys cherish words like gold in front of their parents, and they can contact their parents once a month when they go to school. That's because of the living expenses of going to school. It is not that boys are unfilial, inconsiderate and care about their parents. It is because boys are not good at expressing their parents' feelings in words. He doesn't want you to ask more about his life and work. It's not that he doesn't want to tell you, but that he doesn't want you to worry about him. Girls, on the other hand, are used to expressing their feelings in words. I am also the father of two sons. Seeing someone else's little cotton-padded jacket calling his parents for an hour, compared with his son's decision, the three-character sutra is really enviable. So if you have a daughter, you don't have to worry about being lonely when you are old. Even thousands of miles apart, she will have a lot to say and chat with you. Her carefulness will soon understand your needs. Provide convenience for you as soon as possible.

Therefore, in today's society, regardless of people's obligations and rights, whether receiving education or taking part in work, men and women have basically achieved equality, and the idea of son preference has been changed. Whether it is a son or a daughter, as long as we parents try our best to raise them well, they will certainly make a difference and become useful people to society. Wherever we go, we will have face and be respected by others.

With two daughters, you are more blessed than me. I am a treasure. It seems that you still have some feudal ideas. What happened to your daughter? Now in this society, men and women are equal, and daughters are passed on to future generations. Daughter is a little cotton-padded jacket close to mom and dad. My mother lives in my house every year, and the old people are very happy. So don't feel lonely because you have no son.

Hello, I'm Han Bao and You Bao, and I'm glad to answer your questions.

I am a mother with two daughters and no son. Will I be lonely when I am old? I'm too young to experience it personally. I can only express my views on some things I see around me:

The concept of "raising children to prevent old age" has always existed in people's hearts, especially in rural areas; Even now, in some rural areas, we still have to have sons. Without sons, we look down upon them.

In my hometown, there are many old people in our village, all of whom have two or three sons. The old man is still neglected. He is seventy or eighty years old and has no one to take care of his life. He cooks and washes all by himself, and even his son hardly gives living expenses at ordinary times.

Although the old man has many sons, every son shirks his responsibility, or the daughter-in-law thinks that the old man is eccentric and pays more to other sons, so they should support him more.

In this old age, the old man doesn't live with his son, and his quality of life can't be guaranteed, let alone loneliness. My son can't come to see you several times a year.

There are also some old people who have no sons, but their daughters are very filial and take care of their food, clothing, housing and transportation. In addition, the daughter will be more intimate than her son, and the old man's later life is not very miserable.

In big cities, the elderly basically have pensions, and the problem of providing for the elderly may be better. But now, after their children get married, they all move out to live alone. Unless they have to take care of their children, they will all live with the elderly. If all children live in the same city as the elderly, daughters and sons can often visit the elderly;

In fact, I personally think that in old age, the elderly also need to have their own social circle and find their own hobbies. Don't sit around all day. Once people have nothing to do and no one around them, it is easy to feel lonely, but if they find something they love and have a bunch of like-minded friends, they will not feel lonely.

There should be no such thing as contempt in the future. Now people's minds have changed, and they are no longer so patriarchal.

As for loneliness, there are two kinds of views:

First, look at the old man's own thoughts. As an old man, I was busy working for my family for most of my life when I was young. When he is old, we should use our spare time to enrich our lives without regrets. If you think so, I don't think you will feel lonely.

Second, it depends on the filial piety of the younger generation. Male and female parents are our elders. As the younger generation, we should treat them equally as much as possible and let them enjoy family happiness.

The old man is open-minded and the younger generation is filial. How can there be loneliness?

You train these two daughters well, starting with an annual salary of one million, and you can walk sideways in your village! Who dares to say that you have no son or family, just tell him: I have money! Who dares to say that he has many sons, tell him that his father is rich!

There are many examples in society now. He who has a son but can't marry a daughter-in-law has too many bachelors all his life. This is what really makes people look down upon. Therefore, no matter whether the daughter or the son is filial, anything will be fine as long as they have some skills!

Write my own feelings. I am 85 years old and my husband is 83 years old. My three daughters, the oldest 12 years old, are two years apart. I'm not afraid of jokes. I wanted to have a son before, but I gave up when I was unhappy. My in-laws died when my husband was in his teens, and I took care of all three children by myself. My husband has to earn money to support his family. At present, two suites have not been decorated by his own efforts.

If you live in a city, no one will look down on you. When I came home, no one knew anyone, and there was little gossip.

In the countryside, it is different. If both daughters are married and still marry far away, they will be discriminated against! Everyone in the village knows each other and often gets together. Both parents are nearsighted. It's a pity that your family must be one of the gossip in others' mouths. If your daughter is busy at home, she can only visit her parents at home during the holidays. My parents are too old and sick to walk, and my daughter's family is not good, which is even more sad. Loneliness is certain. I have met many elderly couples, and their children are not around. One of them died, and the other died soon.

When I am old, I can't even pay homage to my ancestors at Qingming Festival, and no one will do so in the future. I really became an orphan. After my parents died, my property can only be left to my daughter, and my daughter can't come back to farm, so she can only sell it.

There must be a lot of gossip in the village. I don't think it's possible to care unless you don't leave home and ignore gossip, otherwise you won't ask questions here.

I also gave birth to two daughters. The second daughter is almost two years old now. Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with having only two daughters, and there is no one to take care of me. I brought up both children by myself. I definitely don't want to have three more children or a son, but my husband still insists on having a son. According to him, he didn't want to break the incense of his generation.

We are in the countryside, and the concept of son preference is not so important to modern people, but the concept of having a son has not changed. Even when we were young, just a few years old, some children laughed at girls who had no younger brothers and brothers, and laughed at mothers who had no sons.

A family with only two daughters really couldn't hold its head in the countryside twenty or thirty years ago. Families with sons are never afraid of farming, because families without sons can't do some heavy work no matter how hard their daughters try to help. After the daughters are married, there are only the old couple left at home, and they are more worried about the crops of a few acres of land.

Now that science and technology are developed, the work in the field is mechanized, and there is almost no need for his son to help him do anything. However, every Chinese New Year holiday, families without sons will appear lonely and empty, and they will envy the lively pictures of other people's children and grandchildren. There are also rural people who are very concerned about not having a son to carry the sail after death. This custom is usually done by his own son, not by his daughter. If there is no son, it must be done by the closest nephew in the family.

"Hou" has always been passed down in the countryside, and the "Hou" here will be considered as a son. A family without a son will stand wherever it goes. That's why my husband has always wanted to have a son.

I don't want to be reborn. I think my son and daughter are the same. When my daughters are married, I can relax and do something I want to do to make up for my unfinished wish when I was young.

As for so many special customs in the countryside, I can't care so much. People are making progress and society is changing. In the future, there will be more and more families with only daughters, and there will always be solutions.