Ask for five funny jokes (never seen, the joke is high)

The history teacher said: the order of the Qin Dynasty to unify the six countries can be recorded as "calling Zhao Wei to move!" (Zhao Han Wei Chu Yan Qi) The whole audience was ashamed ...

1. I don't even want a basin of spilled water.

Everyone who says he doesn't want to fall in love has someone in his heart that he can't get.

My parents-in-law have been married for 30 years, respect and care for each other, and never quarrel. I consulted my father-in-law when I got married. My father-in-law said, "I'm getting married.

At that time, my father-in-law told me,' Don't criticize your wife's shortcomings, and don't blame her for doing something wrong. You know, it is precisely because she has shortcomings and sometimes does something wrong that she doesn't.

Find a better husband. Remember this sentence, you will make a good husband.

4. Go after them if you like, no matter whether they have boyfriends or not, the team has a goalkeeper. I thought the ball was still there!

5. All problems are ultimately a matter of time. All troubles are actually asking for trouble.

6. The teacher said that it is quite simple to forget someone: don't look, don't be mean. ...

7. In ancient times, there was a dialogue between two Zen masters, Hanshan and Pickup: Hanshan asked Pickup, "There are people in the world who slander me, bully me, humiliate me, laugh at me and despise me.

Me, mean me, lie to me, how to deal with it? Picked him up and said, "bear with him, let him, avoid him, let him, bear with him, respect him and ignore him." In a few years, you will.

Look at him. "

8, life is like a song-MD! Out of tune again ...

9. The thin man will never understand the sadness of the fat man standing on the scale, and the fat man will never understand the desolation when the thin man is easily pushed down. So, learn to be considerate.

It's the first time for the company to recruit a secretary to the general manager, and my colleagues will try again. A beautiful woman knows nothing, but her colleagues let her enter the second interview. The comment is: "Dude, don't get me wrong, just want you to see the best beauty." You can stop her, don't be a bitch, boss! "I was in tears. This is the real brother. Later, my colleague sent a short message to the girl: "I really want to recruit you, and the re-examination examiner is too cheap!" " "And then ... they got together.

When she opened the door in the morning, she saw the cat of the handsome boy upstairs lying outside with a sign around her neck: Master is on a business trip, can you take me in for a few days? She smiled, picked up the cat and went into the house. Then the cat will appear pitifully for the same reason. On this day, she heard a knock at the door and opened it. The handsome boy blinked his peach eyes and said that the cat was on a business trip. Can you take me in?

He is a bad student, but he likes her who is good at learning. On Valentine's Day, egged on by his friend, he finally got up the courage to send a message and asked her: Don't you love me anymore? She quickly replied, yes, I have! At that moment, he was a little sad to see this sentence. Then graduation was just around the corner, and he left behind. However, he didn't know that she had been waiting for him that day, waiting for him to hold her hand. Do you think it's time to study English well?

He likes her for a long time. She has everything an English girl should have: quiet and elegant. On Valentine's Day, he finally got up the courage to tell her. She blinked, wrote "wall, eyes, knees" in his hand, and then walked away quickly. When he came back, he searched all the code books, but there was no answer. I accidentally caught a glimpse of an English dictionary and opened it: wall, eyes and knees. Chinese pronunciation: I love you ... Do you think learning English is more important?

Dad bought a polygraph robot and his son went home. Dad asked, "How many people are there in this exam?" The son replied, "First". The robot immediately slapped his son, who admitted that he was the last one. The father kicked his son: "Your father and I will always be the first!" "The robot slapped his father. At this time, my mother came to blame my father: "Don't be so cruel, he is your own son after all." After saying his word, the robot slapped again.