Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Please don't use your hobby to challenge the eating ability of professional writers.
Please don't use your hobby to challenge the eating ability of professional writers.
It is estimated that writing to make money bothers many people. I have written dozens of articles and hundreds of thousands of words. Why didn't your article be submitted to the official WeChat account, and the paper media also sank into the sea?
Big coffee, columnist, teacher who teaches writing for a living, really made money. You certainly don't earn more than me. Otherwise, you won't read all kinds of articles on how to write and make money all day, read a lot of dry goods, and finally get nothing.
Don't be whimsical, you just want to make money when you get started.
I must throw cold water on you. To tell you the truth, you can't make any money at present. You expect that running account you wrote to be complacent and moaning, and it is whimsical to make money.
Don't challenge others to eat with your hobbies!
Share an article written by Han Han below.
I don't know that kind of power.
Let you know how big the gap between amateur and professional is.
Friends often ask, which is better, folk experts or professional athletes? As a folk expert in a certain sport and a professional racing player, he can talk about his feelings better.
First of all, introduce one of Han Han's hobbies, football. (first person)
I think I have good footwork and flexible posture in football. Since junior high school, I have won the championship in the class league, played as a striker and goalkeeper in the school team, and reached the semi-finals in the Xinmin evening paper cup student football match. I protect the ball like Messi and shoot like Bailey. I used to think that I could try to play professionally. However, all this was disillusioned in an afternoon.
It was more than ten years ago, when I was twenty years old, when I was playing ball, a student website organized a charity ball game and invited me and some golfers to participate. They are also excellent players of Shanghai high school teams. The opponent is the children's reserve team of a professional team in Shanghai, all of whom are students of grade five or so.
When we went to Shanghai, we talked and laughed and told each other to be gentle with primary school students. After all, it's a child, hahahaha. Because they rushed into the army, they couldn't remember each other's names, so they decided to call each other nicknames on the court, such as Figo in No.2 Middle School, Klinsmann in the Attached Middle School, Van Basten in Yangpu and Baggio in Jing 'an.
After the first half, I only touched the ball once as Zidane in Jinshan District. You are not mistaken. I only touched the ball once. In the first 20 minutes, we packed nearly 20 balls. Later, the referee was so troublesome that even the kick-off in the second half of the goal was cancelled, and the goalkeeper served the goal directly. We scored 0 goals, passed the ball less than 10 times, and were treated like dogs by primary school students at other times.
At the end of the half-time, we were all embarrassed to call each other's nicknames and changed our names to jersey numbers. The captain called us together and said, brothers, if we go on like this, we will lose 50 goals, otherwise we will all stand at the door and block the door in the second half and try to keep within 30 goals.
In the end, there was no second half of the game, and the opposing coach stopped the game, saying that not playing with such an opponent would affect the mental health of the little players. So the activity directly entered the charity donation link. The members of our Shanghai High School United Team lined up on the stage in the complicated eyes of the girls, stuffed the money into the donation box and left silently.
From then on, every time I watched the ball with everyone and saw the professional team playing in a mess, my friends around me scolded me, saying that my company's team could also catch teams like Shenhua or Shanghai, Guoan or Evergrande or the national team. I kept smiling without a word, and my heart was full of fear of being dominated by primary school students that afternoon when I was twenty years old. I know nothing about that power.
Secondly, I will introduce Han Han's career to you.
China Racing has two top professional leagues with the longest history-China Rally Championship (CRC) and China Racing Championship (CTCC). I won two drivers' championships of the year in CTCC and five drivers' championships in CRC. Participated in professional racing for 14 years, won seven annual drivers' championships and five annual drivers' runners-up.
If one day, aliens invade, each country must choose the two strongest drivers to resist aliens (assuming aliens like to do things while driving). Remember to choose me. Don't be confused by my other work and think that I am holding a star group entertainment competition. I'm sure I can get the aliens out of China for everyone.
I often encounter challenges from taxi drivers, car drivers and various folk experts. This is not a competition in the street, but when I got on their car, the challenge began. Some drivers know me and often tell me that if they take part in the competition, they should behave well and not lose to me, because they have been driving in the street for decades and often run red lights to beat millions of luxury cars. As he spoke, the driver's master couldn't help but start soaring. I was scared to death, and the driver smiled. Little brother, you are a professional racing driver. Ha ha ha ha.
Many times I went to other places to participate in activities, and those GL8 experts saw me flying in the car. Because drivers generally have a heart that wants to abuse me, I basically take the driver or simply drive myself in any activity now. Please sit in the back of the driver arranged by the organizer. In addition, many people directly challenged me through private letters and the entrustment of friends.
Friends who want to hear that Mars hits the earth may be disappointed. I have never had a positive pk with the folk master street god, because this is not a matter of dimension. Racing is different from playing table tennis. Racing is dangerous to yourself and others. In order to protect people's lives and property, I can't just compare with folk experts to see who drives better.
Maybe someone is going to play a joke. You can't afford to lose. I can only tell you that you know nothing about that power. Don't be hypnotized by the saying that "the master is among the people". Don't be fooled by movies and martial arts novels. It will kill you to chop firewood in the mountains for five years, pump water under waterfalls for seven years and catch flies with chopsticks for ten years.
People are happy to see top fighters defeated by the skills accumulated by folk cake vendors who usually make pancakes. They are also generally willing to believe such stories, and are more interested in finding an elixir, reading strange books, and quickly digging out a generation of masters in three days. In the final analysis, such a story can delight everyone and produce a sense of satisfaction of "being superior, maybe I can".
Perhaps in some crafts, it is true that the master is in the private sector, but I believe that it has also undergone a lot of study and quasi-professional training, and it can never be practiced in one day.
On the other hand, in the fields of competitive sports, scientific research and technology, so-called folk experts are even less likely to compete with professionals.
I have been the chief instructor of many racing driver's license training classes and met many interesting students. I can feel that their spirits are very high, their families are good, they have a certain driving foundation, and they drive super sports cars or modified cars to learn racing licenses. They are eager to try in the theory class and a little impatient with what the instructor said (this kind of personality is actually quite good, which is in line with the momentum of excellent drivers). When I introduce myself, I often reveal that I drive very fast, which is the light of their town.
I also met students who stood up and said, "I have never met an opponent." Generally speaking, we are very protective of students' self-confidence, because in any case, their self-confidence will be destroyed in the next few days, starting from when they get on the car driven by the assistant coach and cross the first corner.
Many students started with the purpose of smashing the field and turned into white rabbits in the middle. Later, they all achieved good results in professional racing. Because they have the heart to dare to challenge, but also have the ability of self-cognitive adjustment and the desire to learn. The most important thing is that they all started from the novice race and became excellent professional drivers step by step after a lot of practice.
So, if you want to challenge my friend, this game is open to everyone. You can take part in racing training first, and then take part in the novice race. The polo cup novice competition is not very expensive. You can go to a good team with good grades, and I am on the court. As long as you are highly skilled, you can publicly abuse me thousands of times through regular competition channels.
Third, finally, talk about Han Han's experience in challenging world champions in other industries.
After the ball game destroyed by primary school students, I think maybe I am more suitable for a person's sport, such as playing billiards.
So I played billiards for many years, and my skills became more and more mature. Shi Kang, a recognized billiards player in the writers' circle, lost to me after countless nights of fierce fighting, went to the United States and never came back. There are fewer and fewer people around me who can compete with me. I was very handsome and walked wonderfully, which convinced my friends around me. They gave me a nickname: Ding Junhui, racetrack. However, I still prefer the name given to me by a gym owner more than a year ago, O 'Sullivan from Songjiang New Town.
Just a few days ago, Xiao-Ting Pan and I went to play ball. I think so, too. Although I am not as good as her, I still have a chance with years of professional racing practice and strong mentality brought by ups and downs. Besides, she is human, so she always makes mistakes.
Because she is the world champion, if she kicks off, I basically have no chance to play, so we agree that the loser kicks off. Xiao-Ting Pan laid out the ball and said, You kick off.
Book the ball for me nine days later, but I, Songjiang O 'Sullivan, still didn't perform well. For this competition, I made a response plan. I will do more defense and force Xiao-Ting Pan to attack as much as possible, waiting for her mistakes. I will seal my throat with another sword and make up for the gap in strength with my wisdom and mentality. Thought of here, I have a weird smile on my lips, get up slowly, grab the pole and kick it away.
That night, I was basically only doing one thing, that is, kicking off.
Fourth, after reading the wonderful story, have you thought about it?
Many people are immersed in their own world and think they are the best, but editors can't, this can't, that can't. Actually, I just can't. I just don't want to admit it.
If it's not the material for writing, give up early. It's really hard to make money. If you don't make money, you will be depressed to death. What I really want to do is to destroy your confidence, otherwise how can you be turned into steel?
If you don't expect to make money, it's just a hobby, that's another matter. Interest is really something that money cannot stop.
Since you are interested, please read more books and write more in-depth articles. The creation of excellent articles is inseparable from going deep into life and taking root in the people. Writing will shake the wind and rain, and books will shake the mountains.
Only in this way can you be worthy of your readers. Otherwise, reading your article will blind readers' eyes and time.
You should also understand that people are self-aware and look at the present. How many writers can see themselves clearly? Old people often say, fear. No one knows what an arrogant megalomaniac is now. Laozi's article is the best in the world. Chicken soup master, fool the media to encourage you to surpass yourself every day. I don't know how many people want to be the next Mo Yan, but now there is only one Mo Yan.
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