Animal jokes

Selection of animal jokes

The frog is squatting and has a runny nose

The frog is squatting and has a runny nose. These are its parents. Educate it, if you are a girl, you should squat.

One day, this frog accidentally became a father.

It was very excited, so it came to its parents and asked: "Mom and Dad, I found out that I am a male frog. Can I stand up?"

The old frog couple Said: "Child, we ask you to squat, not to favor boys over girls. Why do we frogs squat? Just to catch pests!"

The frog said: "Can't we catch pests while standing? Did you?"

The old frog said: "Of course you can! It's just that my family was poor and had many children. Dad couldn't afford so many pants for you to wear, so he asked you to squat. How embarrassing it is to stand up with your pants on!"

I digressed as I spoke

It was the festival, and the host summoned pigs, cows, sheep, chickens, ducks, geese, etc. to the kitchen , asked kindly: How do you like to be eaten? The animals don't speak. After a long time, the rooster cautiously opened his mouth: I think? The master said: Don't be afraid, just say whatever you want! The rooster said: Actually, we don't want to be eaten! The master interrupted the rooster: "Look at you, let's talk. That's off topic!"

Frog and Bullfrog propose to Duck

Both Frog and Bullfrog propose to Duck. Frog: "I sing to you every day." Bullfrog: "Me too. I sing to you every day." Frog: "I will take you to swim in the Water Cube every day." Bullfrog also said the same thing. The frog was anxious: "Marry me, I can turn the frog into a prince."

Cousin

The frog wooed the swan, but was rejected. His friends were afraid that he would be sad, so they came to persuade him. But the frog smiled and said: It's okay. If it doesn't work out, let's marry a duck. He can be regarded as a cousin!

Why is he green-skinned?

When the little toad saw the frog, he Asked her mother: "That uncle looks like us, but why is he green-skinned?" Mother Toad: "Shh! Keep your voice down, because his wife spent Valentine's Day with someone else."

Frog Calling the Pastor

A frog called the pastor and asked about his fate. The priest said: "Next year, a young girl will come to know you." The frog jumped up happily: "Oh, really? At the prince's wedding?" The priest said: "No, it will be in her next year. "In biology class."

After the frog secretly kissed the rabbit

A frog secretly kissed the rabbit and ran away, with the rabbit chasing after him. The frog jumped into the pond in desperation, and after a while, a toad crawled out. The rabbit couldn't help but laugh: "Haha, it's a small sample, you must have a skin allergy!"

Remembering my childhood

Two frogs fell in love in the park, and the male frog hugged the female frog. After hugging her again, the female frog sighed and said: Oh, I really miss you when you were a child, with no arms or legs. It's not like now, when we meet each other, we start to do things.

Frog hunting

A frog squatting guarding its prey at night suddenly saw a "firefly" emerging. He immediately stretched out his tongue to "take it down", and then yelled: "Yes." Which wicked guy flicked a cigarette butt?"

The father told his son a story

The father told his son a story: Once upon a time, there was a frog... Son: Is there any science fiction story? Father: Once upon a time there was a frog in space... Son: Are there any R-rated ones? Father: Shhh, keep your voice down, don’t let anyone hear you. Once upon a time there was a naked frog….

A mosquito with double eyelids

Talking about the samurai competition between China, Japan, Russia and the Three Kingdoms, I saw the Russian samurai pull out his sword and chop the mosquito released by the referee into two pieces. , the referee gave him 80 points.

At this time, the Japanese came up and after pulling out the knife, the referee gave him 90 points. He cut off the mosquito's wings! It was the Chinese samurai's turn. He took two kitchen knives and swung them. The referee gave him 100 points. , the other two were dissatisfied and asked the referee. The referee picked up the mosquito and asked them to see that the Chinese warrior cut off the mosquito's double eyelids!

The mosquito that died in vain

One day, a beautiful woman While taking a shower in the bathroom, a mosquito came looking for the fragrance and landed on the beautiful woman's jade leg, greedily enjoying the fragrance. When the beautiful woman saw this, she was shocked. She lifted her jade shoulder and hit it with a "snap", killing the mosquito. , the beauty looked at it with a microscope, and found that it was a male mosquito. The beauty knew that male mosquitoes do not suck blood, so she knew she was in the wrong, raised her mouth and said aggrievedly: "This is a lustful mosquito, and it will deserve to die."

Delete Mosquito

The school is holding computer training classes, and students complain that the teaching conditions are too poor. During class, the mosquito bites were unbearable. One student raised his hand and said, "Teacher, can you put the mosquitoes in the classroom into the recycle bin and delete them completely?" The teacher said, "Yes, but you must select it first."

The Cat Speaks a Foreign Language

The mother mouse was striding across the kitchen floor with a group of little mice, when suddenly a cat jumped out. The cat cried: "Miwu! Miwu!" The mother mouse also called back: "Miwu! Miwu!" The confused cat left, and the mother mouse said to her little mice: "Look, I didn't say anything. Wrong! I told you that learning another foreign language is always useful.";