Write a joke: grade five English.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with my money?

Give it to you yesterday? "

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. but

Why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"

What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?

"

"

I gave it to a poor old woman,

"

He replied.

"

You are such a good boy,

"

Mom said proudly.

"

and

This is two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady?

"

"

She sells candy.

"

Nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher, and one of her students told her.

A bird is nesting in a tree outside the classroom.

"What bird?" My sister asked.

"I don't see any birds, madam, only a bird's nest," the child replied.

"Then, can you describe this bird's nest for us?" My sister encouraged her.

"Well, madam, it's like your hair."

Precautions:

(1) notify v.

tell

(2) nest n.

Nest; nesting

(3) description.

describe

(4) encourage v.

encourage

Similar to.

Similar; similar

18.

Bird's nest and hair

My sister is a primary school teacher. Once a student told her that a bird was outside the classroom.

In the tree.

A bird's nest

"

What kind of bird is it?

"

Sister asked her.

"

I don't see any birds, sir. There is only one nest.

"

The child replied.

"

So, can you describe this bird's nest to us?

"

My sister encouraged her.

"

Oh, teacher, just like your hair.

"

I just bit my tongue.

"Are we poisonous?" The young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I just bit my tongue!"

Precautions:

Toxic.

Poisonous

Because I just bit my tongue.

Because I just bit my tongue.

sentence

cause

be

because

Abbreviated form of.

I just bit my tongue.

"

Are we poisonous?

"

A young snake asked its mother.

"

Yes, dear,

"

She replied:

"

Why do you ask?

"

"

Because I just bit my tongue.

"

A woman who fell down

It was rush hour, and I rushed to a train at Grand Central Station in New York.

Terminal-when I approached the gate, a plump middle-aged woman came from

Behind her, she lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back. she

The momentum brought her close to my shoes. However, before I can help her,

She got up. She calmed down, winked at me and said:

"Do you always have beautiful women falling at your feet?"

A depraved woman

Rush hour,

I hurried to new york Luxury Center Station to catch the train.

Near the door,

Obese people

A middle-aged woman rushed up from behind, only to find that she slipped on the smooth marble floor and slipped on her back.

Her inertia brought her close to my feet.

I'm going to help her,

She got up by herself.

She calmed down for a while,

Squeeze my eyebrows at me and say:

"

Do beautiful women always fall at your feet?

"

English jokes (1)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: Monkeys can have fleas, but fleas cannot have monkeys.

What's the difference between monkeys and fleas? You may directly think that they are a big one and a small one.

But beyond that,

Outside,

Monkeys will have fleas,

But fleas can't have monkeys.

This answer is very thoughtful.

Think about it?

Q: How can you irritate a farmer best?

Step on his corn?

If you step on a farmer's corn or grain,

He is sure to be angry;

If you step on the chicken at the farmer's feet

Eyes, he will be more angry.

corn

It can not only represent

"

corn

/

cereal

"

, there are also

"

corn

"

The meaning of.

Q: What is the strongest creature in the world?

A: Snails. It carries the house on its back.

because

snail

There is always a house behind, so snails are the strongest in the world.

Biology is not strange. What did you say?/Sorry?

Q: What do people do in watch factories?

They make faces all day.

At the sight.

make faces

This sentence, you must not think that people who work in a watch factory play tricks all day.

Face! Because in addition to this meaning, it can be literally understood as making a clock face.

Q: How to stop sleepwalkers from walking in their sleep?

Keep him awake.

How can I prevent sleepwalkers (

nightwalker

) sleepwalking (

sleepwalk

)? The simplest square

The law forbids him to sleep.

Although this is not a treatment,

But if you keep sleepwalkers awake,

He really doesn't know.

Sleepwalking.

English jokes (2)

He is really a big shot.

-My uncle has 1000 people.

-He's really something. What does he do?

-The maintenance man in the cemetery.

He is really a big shot.

-

There is one under my uncle.

1000

Personal.

-

He is really a big shot. What do you do?

-

Graveyard keeper.

English jokes (3)

Shortly after an old woman from China returned to China from her visit.

My daughter is in America. She went to a city bank and deposited US dollars for her.

Daughter gave it to her. At the bank counter, the clerk examined every bill carefully.

See if the money is real. This made the old lady impatient.

Finally, she couldn't hold on any longer and said. "believe me, sir, believe it.

Money. They are real dollars. They come directly from America. "

They were brought directly from America.

An old lady from China came back from visiting her daughter in the United States and went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her.

At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every banknote to see if it was fake.

This practice made the old woman very impatient, and finally she could not bear to say:

"

Believe me, sir, please take a picture, too.

Trust these bills. These are real dollars. They brought it directly from America.

"

English jokes (4)

My puppy can't read.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read.

"

English jokes (5)

Bring me the winner

Waiter, this lobster has only one paw.

-I'm sorry, sir. It must be fighting.

-Well, then bring me the winner.

Give me the winner.

-

Waiter,

This lobster has only one claw.

-

Excuse me, sir. This one must have been in a fight

-

Oh,

Then give me the winner.

English jokes (6)

A mean man's party

The notorious cheapskate finally decided to invite a guest. Explain to a

How did a friend find his apartment? He said, "Ring the doorbell at 5 meters."

Use your elbow. When the door opens, push it open with your feet. "

"Why use my elbows and feet?"

"Oh, dear," he replied, "you won't come empty-handed, will you?"

The miser's treat.

A notorious miser finally decided to invite a guest.

He is explaining to a friend how to find his home.

Say:

"

You go up to the fifth floor, find the middle door, and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door is opened,

Then push the door open with your feet.

"

"

Why use my elbows and feet?

"

"Your hand has been taken as a gift. God, you won't come empty-handed, will you? " The miser replied.