Spring Festival English Jokes

Not to Be Taken Out

Mark Twain once went to borrow a certain book from a neighbor in Tarry town. “ May I borrow a book from you? ” he asked politely. “ Yes, you're more than welcome to it, ” the neighbor told him. “ But I must ask you to read it here. You know I make it a rule never to let any book go out of my library. ”

Some days later the neighbor wished to borrow Mark Twain's machine for cutting grass in the garden. "Why, certainly," Mark Twain told him. "You're more than welcome to it. But I must ask you to use it here. You know that I make it a rule never to let it go out of my garden. ”

Translation:

Not for loan

Mark Twain once went to borrow a book from a neighbor in Terrytown. "Can I borrow a book from you?" he asked politely. "Of course, with pleasure," the neighbor told him. "But I ask you to read here. You know I have a rule that I never let a book out of my library."

A few days later, the neighbor wanted to borrow a lawnmower from Mark Twain. "Oh, sure," Mark Twain told him, "I'd be more than happy to lend it to you. But I want you to use it here. You know I never allowed it out of my garden."

Original text:

The Umbrella

A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: " This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes. "

When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written: " This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back. "

Translation:

Umbrella

一A gentleman staying at the hotel left his umbrella in the lobby, but he tied a card to the handle, which read: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift a hundred pounds. I will lift it in ten minutes." Come back within.

”

When he came back, he found that the umbrella was gone and replaced by another card that read: “This card was left by a man who could run 10 miles an hour.” Yes, I won't come back. "

Original text

You Will Save Much More

" You will be pleased with me today, mother ", said Dick to his mother, coming home from school . " I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it. "

" Well, " said his mother laughing, " Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more. ”

Translation:

You will save much more

“Mom, you will definitely be satisfied with me today,” Dick came home from school and said to his mother, “I saved money on the car. I didn't take the bus when I went to school. Instead, I followed the bus all the way to school. "

"Oh," my mother said with a smile, "next time you run behind the taxi, you will save more."