How to speak moderately?

Talking is a matter of pleasing yourself and consuming others.

Because high-quality listening requires a lot of energy and time costs, such as:

You need to continue to give the other person a good impression, understand his emotions and give positive feedback. Even to make him feel comfortable, you should resist the desire for advice, because when a person is in a bad mood, he often needs comfort instead of advice.

Therefore, when communicating with each other, don't keep talking, let others keep listening.

The best way to deal with it is to talk to each other for a while and let the other side talk for a while, so that both sides can pay back and reach a balance.

2. Don't share your opinions by force.

Don't impose your views on others. If we really care about others, we should respect their outlook on life and values and allow them to choose what they like.

If he doesn't like meat, you shouldn't always emphasize the necessity of eating meat; He doesn't trust Chinese medicine, so don't always praise Chinese medicine; He believes that if you want to have a proper rest, you should stop urging young people to work hard; If you feel happy, don't judge from your own point of view.

Many people will treat others with the view of "I share what I think is good for you", but in fact this logic is very strong and subjective.

Because what you think is good, others may not feel good. On the contrary, you think others are unhappy, but they are already satisfied.

Don't pry into other people's privacy

Privacy is not impossible to ask. I'll tell you if I want to. If you don't want to tell you, it's no use asking.

In life, many people always ask others some personal questions, such as how old they are, how much they earn a month, and what their parents do. These questions don't matter to some people, but some people will feel violated and uncomfortable.

Therefore, when you are uncertain, please control your curiosity and avoid asking questions that may involve personal boundaries. Contact for a long time, the other party may say it himself.

4. Don't expose yourself easily

In addition to not caring too much about each other's privacy, sometimes exposing yourself too much will also cause discomfort to each other-I don't know you well enough. Why are you telling me this?

For example, a careless person, when meeting someone for the first time, confessed everything to let both sides get familiar as soon as possible, and then patted each other on the shoulder and said, "Dude, why don't you tell me?"

Such a request is actually a bit abrupt. When others are not ready, this is actually putting pressure on each other.

At this time, if the other party says nothing, this person may feel that he is not a friend enough. If he shares it, he is actually reluctant.

So, at first, don't expose yourself too much. We should start with testing, such as testing whether the interests of both sides are consistent and whether the values agree with each other.

If the result of the test is that both sides are willing to have further in-depth communication, then they can slowly push the depth of the topic forward and expose themselves bit by bit until the two sides become deep close friends who talk about everything.

Finally, we learned to speak in two years and shut up all our lives. If what you say is not more valuable and enjoyable than silence, then it is wise to choose to shut up.