Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Terrible! ! Terrible nonsense [grandma]
Terrible! ! Terrible nonsense [grandma]
PS Because the story is a text of prayer and blessing, Qing Qiu didn't write anything particularly horrible, but he seriously described some of the atmosphere inside ~ I hope everyone likes it ~ I look forward to the next story, and I will resume my previous writing.
Bow ~ ~ ~ It rains in succession during the Qingming Festival. As the saying goes, it rains every day these days. At night, raindrops hit the glass window, making a ticking sound, which makes people feel bored in the depths of their souls.
It's already midnight. I lay in bed, staring out of the window in confusion, but I couldn't sleep. Bai Yi has slept soundly, even the breathing is reassuring.
I turned over, slowly closed my eyes, and some messy thoughts flashed through my mind like a merry-go-round, and finally settled in a story between my grandmother and me a long time ago …
At that time, I was very young. Naughty is a common problem for children of our age. I broke the neighbor's window with a group of playmates.
Hit an old man's bicycle tire, bullied Zhou Muwang, and then began to travel around the world. He asked Zhao Fu to drive a carriage for him, took a large entourage, chose a good day and set off. From north to west, he met Hebo, the water god, in Yangshan. I saw a peaceful and gentle platform in Hugh Mountain. Visited the Huangdi Palace in Kunlun Mountain; Accepted the beauty offered by the Chiwu people of the Chiwu nationality; Finally, he reached the empty mountain, the west pole of the earth, and met his long-awaited Queen Mother of the West. I watched the little girl movie next door.
Every time I get into trouble, I basically rush to the front line stupidly. I am naturally the first place where adults condemn me, and the legend of Youchao is also circulating. During the Spring and Autumn Period, Chu Jin fought and "boarded the nest car to look at the Jin army". The "nest car" here is to put a high pole on the wheelbarrow, put a pulley on the pole, and then pull a square-foot, high-foot board house on the high pole to spy on the enemy's movements, just like a bird's nest. Obviously, this "nest car" has something to do with the prevailing nesting culture in Chu. The ancients first built nests in trees, and later they were inspired to create nest cars. Yang Xiong's "Zhou Jingzhen" in Han Dynasty once said: "The south nest is wide, including Jingchu". The "South Nest" here is the land of Jingchu. At the end of the Xia Dynasty, there was a tribe called Nan Chao's, an ally of Xia, who also took refuge here. Later, Nanchao gradually became the general name of people living in Jingchu. Some scholars believe that the excellent nest may come from many people who live in Jingchu land. Object. My father beat me almost every time, and my mother watched. Although she was distressed, she also said that I was too ignorant. Only my elderly grandmother always squints at presbyopia and wobbles to protect me.
My father respects my grandmother very much. She is the highest-ranking woman in my family. It is said that grandma was originally a young lady of a big family. She has studied and seen the world. Because she took a fancy to grandpa's reliability, no matter how poor he was, she married him. So I married the chicken, and lived a hard life with the chicken, and my family stopped talking to her, which was a broken relationship. Only grandma's brother still can't bear the pain of his own sister. When grandma left home, he whispered to her: life is gone, just tell her at home that no matter what, she can't suffer outside. But even in the most difficult time, grandma didn't ask her family for a penny to pick coal for people.
As far as I can remember, my grandmother has always had a simple short gray hair, not too old, but still very energetic. Clothes have always been blue and gray, very neat. In winter, she will wear a very old-fashioned scarf.
It is such an old man who never scolds me or hits me after I make trouble unreasonably, but holds my hand and bows his head to apologize to others. After that, I always thought grandma was a weak old woman. ...
It was a summer vacation. /kloc-when I was 0/2 years old, my grandmother and I went to her hometown, which was also a summer vacation. Grandma's hometown is in a remote town near Yun Qi. The town is desolate, with few young people, and only some old people are cleaning up farm work.
After half a century in a hurry, grandpa died young, and grandma finally returned to her home. Few people remembered her when she came back. Grandma's maiden name is Xu, which was actually a famous scholarly family in this area during the Republic of China. It is said that there were several scholars in Xuan Tong's time. Of course, by the time of the Cultural Revolution, everything in the old almanac was destroyed.
Grandma took my arm and walked around the village many times, looking for people who might know the Xu family according to the original memory. Finally, I found the head of Lao Wang who worked as a short-term worker in the Xu family in the town.
Grandma walked over and greeted Lao Wang's head with a smile: "Brother Wang, do you still remember me?"
Lao Wang raised his head and narrowed his eyes. After watching for a long time, he recognized his grandmother. He almost jumped up with excitement and hurriedly called us in.
We walked into the room. There was hardly any furniture in it. It was a very old-fashioned style. Lao Wangtou poured water for me and grandma. I can see that Lao Wang respects grandma very much. When he talks to grandma, he always calls her "Second Lady".
Lao Wang moved a bench, sat next to us, took a sip of local smoke and began to say, "Miss Er, why don't you come back and have a look?"? Hey, it's been so many years. Xu's father died shortly after you got married. Your eldest brother couldn't support the facade of the Xu family alone, and finally moved to other places to make a living. "
Grandma sighed, more than 50 years have passed, and the feeling of the past like smoke can only be understood and appreciated by people after many years. So I don't understand how sorry grandma's sigh represents.
At that time, I was very interested in playing and curious about coming to such a small village. In fact, as soon as I entered the village, I found a sealed crimson coffin obliquely inserted in the ground. And every household hangs HongLing at the door. As long as the wind blows, blood-like red ribbons will float on the doors of every household in the town.
I looked at my grandmother with my head tilted and asked, "Grandma, why is there a big coffin at the door? Why is everyone hanging red cloth at the door?"
Grandma looked at Lao Wang's head. Obviously, she doesn't quite understand. Lao Wang's eyes lit up, obviously afraid to answer this question. He seemed to be avoiding something, looked back for a long time, then approached us and whispered, "Well, there's nothing we can do. There was an accident and an epidemic in the town. Many people died some time ago, but now they are safe and sound, thanks to the guidance of an old Taoist priest. He told us that what we are doing here is actually Wong Tai Sin (weasel), and we want to get a big house for Daxian. Daxian lives in a coffin, so it is necessary to make a big coffin out of good huanghuali wood and insert it horizontally in the mouth of the town, which is regarded as Daxian's mansion. There are also households who have to hang red cloth heads to deal with disasters. "
Grandma looked around and turned to Lao Wang's head and said, "So there is no Xu family here now?"
Lao Wang lit a tobacco pouch, bowed his head and thought for a while, then suddenly looked up and said, "Miss Er, do you remember that you have a cousin? It seems that you still live on the dusty road. A group of people finally came outside Hangzhou and were about to enter the city, but they were stopped by the team officers and soldiers and said they could not enter. After careful inquiry, I realized that something had happened in Hangzhou. In recent days, I can't get in or out, and it has become an isolated city. This can make widow Wu anxious and unable to enter the city. Looking back, it's just a piece of Wang Yang. There are no villages in front and no shops behind. Seeing the setting sun, pedestrians have no way to go. Wandering for a long time, I only found a ruined temple on the barren hill outside the city, which can at least shelter me from the wind and rain, and I will rest there. Here you are. It's called ... Xu Pizi. "
Grandma nodded and said, "Yes, yes, his father was a carpenter. When he was young, his craftsmanship was very exquisite."
"Yes, his carpentry is the best here. He built a house in Wong Tai Sin. " Lao Wang said, "You can go there and see him."
Lao Wang is very polite and shows us the way. Grandma and I followed him to grandpa's house.
Uncle Biao is an old man who is blind in one eye The only eye left is very small. He always squints at things and blinks from time to time. After watching it for a long time, it seems that even his own eyelids have the impulse to blink a few times. He is not tall, with a thin face and some white stubble on his mouth. My old jacket seems to have not been washed for many years. My hair is messy like a bird's nest, and my body smells dizzy. But as soon as he saw grandma, he recognized her and quickly went up to strike up a conversation. "Two girls! You're back! I thought I would never see you again. "
I looked at Uncle Biao and he looked at me. Then he grinned: "Is this your grandson? It looks so handsome. I didn't expect you to come with your children. "
Grandma also smiled and said, "It's been decades, and when I'm old, I'm still thinking about falling leaves. At least close your eyes and come and see here. "
I noticed that the old man's blind eyes were shining with turquoise light. I thought it might be the light, so I subconsciously closed my eyes and opened them again. At this moment, Grandpa Biao also looked at me. He smiled again, and a strange smell came straight at my face. I frowned and leaned behind my grandmother. Grandpa Biao looked at me and was afraid of him. He didn't talk to me again. He smiled awkwardly at me and turned to my grandmother and said, "Since I'm here, let's stay for a few days. I will prepare a place for you. The Xu family is gone, but the house is still there.
Grandma quickly said, "That's too much trouble for you. I just take Ann to see my hometown again ... "
I didn't live in the countryside. I didn't know until I came. The water used there had to be pumped in the well by myself. Mosquito nets were hung on the bed, and the house was very old. This is the Xu family's house. I can see that it used to be a very rich family, and many exquisite patterns were carved on the window frames. But now the building is empty and the house is empty. As soon as the wooden door is opened, there is a creaking sound. For many years, no one has taken care of it. A thick layer of dust fell in the room, and cobwebs were everywhere. When the door is pushed, it falls in piles.
I pulled my grandmother, and her eyes were a little blurred. She looked at the room and said to herself, "Fifty years have passed, my parents, I am back ..."
For a long time, my grandmother let go of my hand and told me not to wander around, so she rolled up her sleeves and cleaned up the house. Grandpa and Lao Wang also gave me a hand to help.
I wandered aimlessly in my backyard. The backyard is almost overgrown with weeds waist-high, because it is summer and there are waves of cicadas singing on the trees.
I wiped the sweat from my head and narrowed my eyes. This place is too strange for me. My heart is full of curiosity. I excitedly pulled open those overgrown weeds and walked wildly in the yard, completely forgetting grandma's instructions.
After struggling in the yard for a long time, I finally sat down on a stone and patted it with my hand. It was still hot and my head was a little dizzy. Feeling a little overdrawn, I was about to go to the house when I suddenly found a yellow animal strung out of the grass! I thought it was a cat, but it was big.
It looked at me with cold light in its eyes. I suddenly felt cold all over, and the hot feeling in front of me was swept away. Surprised, I jumped up and ran into the house. As soon as I turned around, I ran into Huck, who was only ten years old, and was taken to the pearl boat. The pearl-picking fleet sailed for a whole month and came to Niutan Pearl-picking Field, which was already a royal pearl-picking field. Picking winter bamboo is a very hard and dangerous labor. Juba stood on the boat and inserted a two-foot wooden pole into the bottom of the river. Zhu Ding only put a piece of animal skin in his crotch and dived naked down the wooden pole to the bottom of the river, looking for mussels in the sand. Winter bamboo is picked in autumn, the river is freezing cold, and the strong beads will work soon. The pearl picking team spent many days in a hurry. Zhu Ding fished out many mussels from the river, but seldom saw beads. Ilaha was so anxious that he couldn't eat or sleep. Uncle table.
I'll be right back. He smells so bad that he feels like rotten skin that has been stuffy for many years. He opened his mouth and said, "Anna, what do you see ahead?" You are so flustered and scared. Your grandmother asked me to come to you and come with me. "
I looked at the yellow hand touching me, and suddenly flashed a burst of unwarranted disgust, so I subconsciously took a step back. But when I think of the animals in the yard, I dare not look back. The story of Qi Jiguang's beheading has been widely circulated in Fujian and Zhejiang for hundreds of years. In Putian, Fujian Province, this story has also been adapted into the Fujian drama "Qi Jiguang Chopping the Son", which is widely circulated among the people in the form of art. In addition, there are similar legends in Ningde, Lianjiang, Minhou and Yiwu, Zhejiang Province. Whether the story of Qi Jiguang's beheading is a historical fact or not, and whether it happened in that place, there are different opinions and there is no conclusion. .
Just then, grandma shouted in the room, "Ann, why are you still in the yard?" Come in and wash your face and eat. " I quickly bypassed Uncle Biao and ran into the house, but there was a cry similar to the roar of a wild animal in my ear. I looked back at Uncle Biao. He stared at me with a turquoise light in his eyes.
When eating, we sat around a simple dining table, and the food was brought by Lao Wang. In order to make us eat well, he also killed his own laying hen.
The chicken soup was delicious, and I was starving, so I opened the casserole and cooked the dishes inside. Grandma doesn't eat much, but her grandfather eats like a wolf.
We are all surprised that he can eat so much, almost a whole pot of chicken is served to him, and he hardly spits bones. He saw that we were all staring at him. Sorry, he wiped his mouth, chewed the meat in his mouth, put down his chopsticks and greedily looked at the piece of chicken in my bowl.
Grandma smiled awkwardly and said, "You are still the same, and you like chicken so much. You're welcome. None of us can eat that much. Today, thanks to you and Lao Wang, the first floor is scissors hell. The setting of this hell seems incredible today, but it played a great role in the era of advocating chastity and women in ancient times. Because Scissors Hell is for those who instigate widows to remarry or match. The soul of this kind of person will be mercilessly cut off by the little devil with big scissors when he gets here. In fact, in ancient times, it was normal for men to die young because of lack of medical care and medicine. How many young women die alone because of their so-called chastity! Help, or I'm really busy. "
Uncle said, "Nothing, nothing. I'm full. Is there anything else I can do for you? "
Lao Wang also said, "Yes, Miss Er, is there anything else we need to sort out? Just asking. Look, it's a mess here. If you don't live in my house, my wife can give you and An Teng a room. "
"No, I want to live in an old house. I haven't been back for 50 years. Maybe this is the last time I come back to see it. "
In the evening, grandma unfolded the mosquito net and smoked the inside of the curtain with mosquito-repellent incense for a while. In fact, there is electricity in this town, but no one has lived in the old house for many years, so naturally there is no such thing as electric light. Considering that there is no electric light at night, Lao Wang gave grandma an old-fashioned oil lamp, and grandma also took out a flashlight for traveling from her luggage.
Under the dim oil lamp, grandma sat in a chair with a cattail leaf fan in her hand and fanned the wind for a while. Grandma didn't close the door because of the heat, and the yard outside was dark. White mosquito smoke drifted away from the corner of the room, forming a touching white fog.
I was lying in bed, tossing and turning like a pancake, and I couldn't sleep. Just then, something quickly entered the house and grandma's fan fell to the ground. I pulled the mosquito net out of bed, poked my head out and asked doubtfully, "What's the matter, wet nurse?"
Grandma quickly picked up the flashlight, shone it in the corner where it was hiding, and saw a yellow thing rush into the box.
Grandma picked up the stick behind the door and slowly approached the corner. "sir! What can I do for you? " Zhao Bian's voice just fell and he saw someone come in. It was Zhao Laoshuan. Although I didn't see the animal, I clearly heard the stupid sound of rustling. In the darkness, a pair of turquoise light spots flashed and disappeared, watching our movements motionless.
Suddenly that thing jumped out, crossed grandma and rushed to the bed where I slept. Grandma was unprepared, and that yellow thing got into the mosquito net.
Unconsciously, I curled up, leaned in the corner and begged my grandmother in fear. Grandma ran back at once, but it was obviously more agile. It bit my ankle hard. For an instant, it stared at my eyes, and I saw that kind of extremely cold and cruel eyes, remembering that it was a strange animal I saw in the yard during the day.
Grandma saw my ankles covered with blood when she came over. She shouted to hit the animal with a stick, but the animal was too agile. It quickly backed away, dodged sideways, ran away from grandma and hid in the dark. This bracelet is a little thicker than ordinary bracelets, but there is no pattern on it, but there is a garlic bud like this. Liu Zhonggui changed from a cowherd to a medical officer in the DPRK! From then on, the master and the apprentice got up and lived in Beijing. Small protrusions. Dad saw that the bracelet was not artificial, so he immediately said with a straight face, "Master Xu, although I am not a goldsmith, I know how to eat the boss's food and do good things for him." Master Xu ate pig liver for half a year and then became such an apprentice. Can he resist the kindness of boss Cheng? "In the yard.
Grandma will come to see my wound at once. My legs hurt like fire, and my mind is full of ugly and gloomy eyes.
Grandma looks nervous. He touched my head. My hair was soaked with cold sweat. I suddenly felt very dry in my mouth and wanted to drink water, so I said dryly, "Mammy, I want to drink water." Light light blue should have her own weapon-a small hoe for picking herbs, but she felt unsightly and abandoned the baby. Now she has nothing in her hand. Fortunately, the deck was covered with swords left by guards, so she picked them up to help the young lady. In fact, the rest of the guards are no match for the two brothers. Now, they joined the light light blue and saved their driving. Unfortunately, light light blue and Maureen know nothing about fencing. Light light blue is like a fight between a husband and wife who are not in harmony in the countryside. One is fiercer than the other, and it is necessary to fight. The fiery strength of light light blue is not inferior to that of the village government. She dances with both hands and has no rules, which is really a bit difficult for the well-trained Jiaying brothers. Because the sword chaos dazzled the Jiaying brothers, but they were confused. But the guards came back to life. The two brothers could have used the mastermind method, but when they were killed by the blue sword, where could they be distracted?
Grandma patted me trembling: "Ann, what's wrong with you?"
I said, "I'm so thirsty and my feet hurt." Actually, my ankle is already swollen.
Grandma immediately poured me a cup of tea and I almost drank it, which made me cough. Grandma patted me on the back and whispered, "Oh, no, I was bitten by a weasel. What should I do now? "
Before long, grandma wrapped the wound with a straw bag, put on clothes and carried me to Lao Wang's head home.
In the middle of the night, the weather is sultry, and a green jack-o'-lantern can be faintly seen in the distant fields. At night in this village, there was no one on the road, but the old woman Du, who was tied in the shed, asked, "Sir, can't you guess this?" Our dog barked loudly on the road.
Grandma forgot to get on the horse, and the shopkeeper said with a smile, "I sold such a good wine long ago, but I made it myself many years ago and buried it in the ground, planning to drink it when my son got married." If money is not tight now, how can I become it? " I will never sell this wine. Hey, enjoy a few bowls when my son gets married! "After a hard day, my back is sweaty. She fell down several times on the road, and she protected me from falling to the ground with her body. But my mind is getting confused. I heard my grandmother calling my name, but I heard another voice, a voice as rough as a brotherhood of the Wolf. I think it's calling my name, too, drowning out my grandmother's voice. I feel my body getting colder and colder, and my wound getting hotter and hotter.
Finally, grandma ran to Lao Wang's house. She patted the young master's eyes and shouted to the housekeeper, "Throw her son into the river!" " "(Fairy tale) When the door was closed, Lao Wang opened the door in a daze, and then he saw me and grandma. His eyes were filled with horror, and he immediately closed the door and shut my grandmother and me at the door.
Grandma was very excited and knocked on the door again, hoping that he could help us.
The voice of Lao Wang's head came from the door. "Young lady, you are quick to take your grandson away. He blocked Wong Tai Sin's way. It's hopeless Soon, he will be pulled by Daxian to be body double. Take him away quickly and don't hurt our family. "
Grandma didn't knock again. She sat on the ground, but her mouth kept calling my name. I am too weak to tell the whole story. I knew my grandmother was calling me, but that horrible voice came from my head. He was calling me, and his voice became more sharp and gloomy.
Grandma looked at me and found that my face had turned blue-gray with a thin layer of yellow hair on it. She was so scared that she quickly pulled out those hairs, but those yellow hairs came out of my skin again.
Grandma stood up again and stumbled to knock on other people's doors, but everyone closed the door like a ghost when they saw me. No matter how my grandmother knocked and shouted, they refused to open the door, and the whole town was as quiet as death.
Grandma finally can't carry me. She gritted her teeth and her eyes were full of fear and disappointment. She suddenly thought of something, just like thinking of a straw. She struggled to pick me up again, but she really had no strength. Finally, she found a broken basket. Fortunately, I was young then. She stuffed me into the basket, tied me to my back with a rope, and tried to pull the basket to my uncle's house.
Uncle Biao's home is in a small hut next to the coffin in town. There is no family around, only he has a house. Grandma pulled with all her strength and drew a deep blood mark on her hand. She gritted her teeth and didn't stop calling my name even when she was out of breath.
I feel an unpleasant smell on my ankle, and the wound has turned purple-black. Thick yellow water flowed from the gauze. I looked around and found many green eyes staring at us and peeping at me, trying to pull me out at any time. I was so scared that I wanted to cry, but I found myself crying like the roar of a wild animal.
Grandma dragged me for a long time, and finally almost climbed to grandpa Biao's door and hit the door panel with her shoulder. She shouted with all her strength: "Please help my grandson, please open the door. Please! "
I'm so thirsty that I can't feel my left foot. While I was losing consciousness bit by bit, I could feel many eyes staring at me in the darkness around me. They gave a cry, which was chilling.
The door finally opened, and Uncle Biao stared at us for a long time and said, "Come in and talk."
He helped my grandmother carry me into the house. I found that my feet smelled on him, and the servants came at me like mad dogs. Zhang Cheng still wants to theorize. He was pushed to the ground by two servants, and when he saw that the woman was about to be taken away by them, he suddenly heard an exclamation: "Stop!" . Grandma shook my hand, but I didn't feel the temperature at all, only felt cold all over.
Uncle Biao looked at me, sighed and said, "Second girl, I'm afraid your grandson won't survive this morning. Get ready for the funeral."
Grandma said with tears in her eyes, "no, there must be another way." Uncle Biao, I beg you to help him. He is my grandson! " "
Grandma knelt down and kept kowtowing to him. And I still feel that those things outside are ready to move and want to take me away. But they didn't go into the house, as if afraid of this place.
The uncle frowned. His face was gloomy, so he said, "In fact, this is also the debt of your hsu family. Since you have already left, why do you want to come back? "
Grandma didn't speak. She hugged me and just shook her head. The light in the room is very dark, and my cousin's uncle's face looks a little ghostly. He continued: "Second girl, you know that your Xu family is so prosperous because of protection, but you still have to pay it back. Daxian wants to drag him to be a body double, so let him go. "
Grandma looked up. She trembled and said, "He is my grandson. I won't allow anyone to hurt him!" " "
Uncle Biao looked at us for a long time before he said slowly, "The Xu family has a good way to get married. Since this is the case, according to the old method, the grandson can exchange one eye for his own life. "
Grandma was dazed. She looked at my cousin and uncle, then at me and said, "Use my eyes. Ann is still young. I saved Ann's life with my eyes. "
Uncle Biao rolled his eyes and sneered, "Ah, the Xu family's eyes are yin and yang, and they can see things that the dead can't see. You would rather give up your eyes than save your grandson's life. Ok, just go outside and talk to those big immortals. " He pointed to the huge lacquer coffin obliquely inserted under the town mouth. Grandma was shaking all over. I feel that she holds me tight, as if afraid that I will be taken away by those things in the dark as soon as I let go.
Cousin still grinned, showing unusually sharp sallow teeth. He said, "If you want to keep your grandson and don't want his eyes, then give them your eyeballs. Hahaha, the Xu family finally got this end! "
My stomach felt sick for a while. I vomited, and what I vomited was terrible. I looked up at my grandmother and she looked at me sadly. She wanted to say something, but I couldn't hear her. Gradually, my eyes were dark, and I couldn't see grandma or grandpa. I can't see anything, only those turquoise spots, which emit gloomy cold light not far away.
By the time I can see again, I'm already in the hospital in the county, and my parents are opera fans. When I suddenly heard this "good", I couldn't help but be flustered, so I frowned one after another. Some opera fans even prepared to severely reprimand the cheering people. But everyone looked inside and suddenly fell silent, because the cheering person turned out to be Zhou Zhifu-I don't know when Zhou Zhifu also came to Jinghe Opera Garden to watch the play. I was around, but without my grandmother, I asked her weakly where she was. My father comforted me and said, "Grandma is in the other ward. You were bitten by an animal. You may be infected. You need to observe. Don't be afraid, mom and dad are here. "
I closed my eyes again, but this time there were no cold eyes staring at me, but a very peaceful sleep.
Later, we were taken back to the city, and grandma's eyesight became worse and worse because of this, and finally she could not see at all. She is as kind as ever, but I know grandma's eyes will never come back. I never saw that grandfather again. It's just that my father told me when chatting that grandma's hometown actually has the custom of worshipping weasels, and the Xu family called weasels "cousins" ...
It has been raining, the phone in the dormitory rang, and it was already bright outside. I immediately got up and answered the phone. It turned out to be grandma. A kind and familiar voice came from the other end of the phone: "Ann, I'm grandma. Don't worry. The doctor said that the tumor is benign and can be operated. "
A stone in my heart finally fell to the ground. I was shaking with excitement and quickly said, "Grandma, I'm glad you're all right. I'm glad you're okay. "
Bai Yi don't know when to wake up. He gave me a dress to wear on me. I feel warm and energetic, just like being in grandma's arms when I was a child.
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Terrible grandma, terrible
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