Jokes related to painting

1, a teacher probably played mahjong all night, and when he saw that the blackboard was not wiped, he was furious: "Who is the farmer today?" Don't clean the blackboard! "

2. Once my uncle saw my sister-in-law wearing a big treasure and suddenly shouted, "You have such good skin, why do you still use soothing treasure?"

A sister-in-law saw a person who was about to get off the bus drop a pack of cigarettes on the pedal, and quickly said to that person, fellow traveler, smoke.

Put the gun down. The man is furious: you just castrated!

5. After watching the black 100 meter run, an old lady wiped her tears and said, I was scared to death! Several coal diggers knelt in a row and were shot.

Shoot, shoot without aiming, the children are scared away, and the rope can't stop!

7. A man keeps a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

6. Mr. Huang loves the revolution. In order to commemorate the Red Army, he named his son "Jun".

One day, when I saw my son coming to class and the No.8 bus stop, I shouted to my son, Huang Jun, the No.8 bus is coming!

7. A foreign youth in China can't understand the difference between "iron" and "steel". One night he came home late and couldn't open the door, so he had to shout, Madam, will you open your steel door? I can't get in!

14. When a hungry wolf was looking for food, he heard a woman training her child: If you cry again, I will throw you out to feed the wolf!

The child cried all night, and the wolf waited outside until dawn and sighed, liar, women are liars!

15, there is a female classmate who works hard. One night, she finished reading a book at one o'clock. It is said that the night view of Lake Xiang Si is beautiful, so I want to go there for a walk.

When she reached the lake, she suddenly felt someone patting her on the shoulder. She turned around and saw a pale woman. The woman said, "junior, I have no feet." Primary school girls don't think look at that strange woman's feet, really not! The joke is funny.

The primary school girl started to run, but the female ghost followed her all the way and said darkly in her ear, "I have no feet, I have no feet ..."

The primary school girl felt very annoyed and happened to be near the dormitory, so she turned to the female ghost and shouted, "What if I have no feet?" I don't have breasts yet! "

15.438+00 joke: A prisoner was shot, because the bullet was inferior, the first shot was not fired, and later it was fired.

The second shot ... the third shot ... then the prisoner cried: Brother, strangle me, it's really fucking scary. .......