A joke told when I first met a girl.

What's the secret of chatting with women? Why do some men always talk and laugh with women, Kan Kan, while some men can't arouse each other's interest and don't even know what to say?

Yes, many men really need to strengthen the "speaking" part. It has been observed that some people are better able to capture women's hearts through superb speech skills, although their innate conditions are not optimal. I believe you must have witnessed a similar situation.

The French philosopher Voltaire said, "Give me ten minutes, and I can convince any woman with this mouth alone. Of course, we can't judge how boastful this sentence is, but we can boldly speculate that a man's mouth seems to have unlimited potential.

The question is, what are the qualities of a talking man? Know astronomy above and geography below? Is it sweet talk, abduction and cajoling? Are you pretending to be crazy and taking a funny route? Or simply be a "most loyal listener" and give comfort and encouragement anytime and anywhere?

A good talker must have three basic abilities: listening to questions and telling stories.

First of all, you should learn the ability of "listening". Women hate nagging, self-expansion, interrupting others, and only talking about their men from beginning to end. Because in the eyes of women, this is at best a sign of insecurity, or they are thinking, "What are you trying to prove? 」

Women in the new era are very smart. They watch too much and listen too much. What you said, where to discount, reflects what kind of person you are. Most of them know what you are. After all, many women have long had their own set of rules to evaluate the authenticity of men.

Successful communication is a two-way street. Especially when women are willing to talk, you'd better listen carefully. A woman's willingness to talk to you doesn't necessarily mean that she likes you, but at least you have given her a preliminary "trust". When the attraction between men and women is based on the platform of trust, this relationship is stable.

Of course, one of the main purposes of listening is to collect information. You can know directly from a woman's mouth: what she longs for, hates, cares about, and treats things with attitudes and values. How? The key is to guide women to speak with open-ended questions.

For example, sometimes I suddenly get serious: "What do you think is your biggest challenge at work?" Or "What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?" Or "I want to know what you think of life. What do you think people should pursue in life?

This is the ability to ask questions. You see, a successful host is an expert in asking questions. I know the above problems are serious at first glance, but if you can cut into them in the right atmosphere, there will be unexpected results.

In addition to collecting information, asking questions is also a key skill to create and continue topics. Many men worry that there is nothing to talk about. The solution is to use "questions" to guide the direction of conversation and observe keenly.

For example, when you see a girl with a lovely bag in her hand, you can naturally point to it: "Where did you buy it? When she replies that this is a trophy marked in an online auction, you can cut into the theme of "network", from auction fun to online romance.

On the other hand, I think what topic to talk about is second, and the real key lies in the "atmosphere". Many times I don't deliberately limit the topic, because I want to create a simple atmosphere, which is to make girls feel comfortable and not oppressive when chatting with me.

But women want not only the atmosphere, but also men who can inspire their thoughts. In other words, if you can express your unique views on things in time, or point out the subtle things that have not been detected, and describe them with a plot like "telling stories", you will make her throb like never before.

Face is a topic that can promote intimacy;

What do you do? Why do you like this job? What is the biggest challenge? What is the biggest setback? What are your hopes for your job and future? )

2. What achievements have you made in your life so far? Any major setbacks? )

3. What do you like best? (Why are you interested)

4. < Recently > What was the most memorable happy event last year? (or an unfortunate thing? )

5. How will you handle your work?

6. How do you like to spend your holiday?

7. Do you want to be famous? (why)

8. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?

9. In your family, how did you grow up?

10, what was your character strengths when you were growing up? What are the disadvantages of fear? )

1 1. What kind of relationship do you want to develop?

12 Are you romantic? How romantic? )

13, what do you think is the difference between men and women?

14, what makes you happy?

What makes you sad?

16. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

17, where do you think you are different from others?

18, do you believe in God? What do you think of God? )

19. to what extent do you think your personal behavior has an impact on changing society?

20. What do you think are the important events in society at present? If possible, what action would you take? )

Some of the above topics seem to involve too many personal problems, especially for people who are dating for the first time, but please remember that few people don't care about themselves, as long as they don't question each other rigidly like investigating their household registration, everyone is willing to discuss their own problems.

And there are three topics that can be used in any occasion: food, family and philosophy.

This may be a custom in China. The protagonist of the first date should be the man, while the woman is more reserved. This person should take the initiative to ask some questions to get Tan Xing's attention. Both sides should avoid long silence. When dating, it is best to make the atmosphere pleasant. The content of the conversation should be broad and popular, and the questions should be short, so that the other party is willing to answer and can answer. We can talk about work, study, hobbies and trivial things in life. Don't embarrass the other party, let alone ask questions that make it difficult for the other party. If the other person is silent and unresponsive, you should change the subject quickly.

Both men and women can consciously introduce themselves, including their family members and personal hobbies and specialties. But don't brag about yourself. Don't let it spoil the fun of the first date. Swearing should not be said, otherwise it will be regarded as disrespectful, uncivilized and impolite to each other.

When dating, you must keep a happy mood and mentality. Because dating is not a class, you don't need to preach or inspire your personality, so the topic must be relaxed.

If she likes to talk a lot, don't interrupt her discussion Just be a loyal listener. At the same time, don't talk about some academic topics yourself.

When dating, it is best to talk about things that often happen around the village, such as TV programs and social pages in newspapers. Or about music, use your lovely pets such as cats, dogs, tropical fish, pigeons and birds, because talking about some relaxing and interesting topics can bring us closer together.

The first trick: around the career pursuit, look for the "bright spot" of the topic.

Career is the foundation of human life. Any young man who is diligent in his career and tireless in his life will fly once he talks with others about the topic of work and life. So, grab some of his "bright spots" in this respect and dig into the topic, and you will have a lively chat.

Su Xin is an enterprising girl, but she is introverted and unsociable, so she became a big girl in her twenties and has lived alone since then. One day, a colleague introduced her to a policeman, Li Ming. When we met for the first time, the introducer made a few routine remarks and left. The two of them remained silent and were in an awkward position.

When Su Xin saw this scene, she was in a hurry and seemed to say casually: "Your work as a policeman is very hard, your life is in danger at all times, and your family and relatives are also suffering. This is really unacceptable to ordinary people." Hearing this, Dawn was in a hurry and immediately took over Su Xin's words, expounding the greatness and pride of her career from the aspects of career and ambition, life and pursuit, dedication and demand.

More than two hours of dating passed unconsciously in each other's laughter. Finally, Su Xin sent an affectionate smile to Dawn. In the "crisis moment" of the first date with Dawn, Su Xin caught the bright spot of the other party's love of work and looked for a topic. Seemingly "casual", in fact, she deliberately threw out the proposition "which is more important, family or career" to examine his pursuit of career and life, which not only effectively solved the problem of having nothing to say when meeting for the first time, but also achieved the purpose of enhancing mutual understanding and communicating ideas.

The second measure: find the "resonance point" of the topic around hobbies.

Everyone has his own hobbies. Even taciturn people will speak freely as long as they talk about their hobbies. However, when we first met, you still didn't know what his hobbies were. What shall we do? It doesn't matter. Talk about your hobbies first, then find resonance points in each other's hobbies, increase understanding and deepen feelings.

Ah Yue met Ah Tong through personals in the newspaper. Both of them felt uncomfortable when they met for the first time. Like reciting lines, they chatted simply around the storm, the sun and the moon for a while, and then there was nothing to say. After a moment of silence, Ayue had a brainwave and offered, "How about going to karaoke?" "Karaoke?" O hesitate to ask 1. "Yes, sitting in the booth, while enjoying the fragrance of green tea and coffee, listening to warm or affectionate music, the troubles and worries of life, the tension and fatigue of work, like a wisp of smoke floating in the wind, will be accompanied by your relaxation, comfort and happiness." Ah Yue paused and stared at Ah Tong affectionately. "Are you right?" "I don't like singing and dancing very much, but after listening to your wonderful exposition, I feel the inspiration and power of music to life.

No wonder readers criticized my work for lack of passion. ""You mean, do you like reading and writing? This feeling is good. Music and writing, culture and art are originally a' home'. "When the dialogue between Ah Yue and A Tong was unsustainable, the clever Ah Yue took the opportunity to introduce her hobbies to A Tong first, so as to explore his hobbies. When her hobbies deviated from A Tong, she skillfully extended their hobbies to a broad field, thus finding the resonance point of "family".

The third measure: find the "focus" of the topic around the environmental atmosphere.

Ambient atmosphere is a dynamic, random and rich topic. It is not a romantic moaning, but a grasp of this topic reflects a person's level and taste in thinking, morality, wisdom, treating people and other aspects.

It can be said that a person who is good at observing things, analyzing problems and handling contradictions will have endless power as long as he pays attention to the environmental atmosphere.

In Jiangsu and Zhejiang provinces, blind date usually involves the man going to the woman's house. On this day, Yi Group separated from Chunhui and dated alone at home. Chunhui walked into the room and casually commented on her home. But Yiqun is a typical conservative and introverted girl. When Chunhui finished, she stopped answering the phone.

The conversation reached a deadlock, and the whole room was only the twittering of "Princess Zhu Huan" on TV. Both of them looked at the screen quietly, and no one spoke again. At this time, Yi Qun's heart was anxious. But she did lack the courage to face Chunhui, so she said to herself in front of the TV: "Now there are more TV channels, but fewer wonderful programs. Look at this "Pearl Princess". The whole story is a farce, with no taste and no practical significance. " "Yes, look at that swallow ..."

This lost topic suddenly awakened Tan Xing in the spring. "What do you think of Er Taigong's rescue of Yanzi and Wei Zi from prison alone?" "I admire E Ertai's integrity, chivalry and courage. There are very few such friends now ... "

When there were obstacles in the first conversation with Chunhui, Yiqun took local materials and focused on the TV programs being broadcast, which made people feel natural, casual and relaxed. At the same time, she is good at using topics to find what she needs to know. On the surface, she is listening to Chunhui's evaluation of the behavior of Channel 2, but in fact, she is examining Chunhui's principles and level of her own behavior.

The fourth measure: around social life, look for the excitement of the topic.

Social life covers everything. You will always have some deepest feelings, words you want to say, people and things you hate or like most, and things you care about or want most in life. Then, when you are caught up in a conversation with a friend, pick a point that you are most excited about.

According to the arrangement of the introducer, Xiaoqing walked into the park with a magazine in his hand and met another boy, Ayi, with a magazine in his hand. After they signed up for their home like a recruitment exam, they walked silently by the lake in the park.

Xiaoqing thinks that since she is here on a blind date, she should always talk and learn more about it. What is it that they don't talk? She frowned and the plan came to her mind. "What's the magazine in your hand? Can you understand it? " "Just bought China cosmetics. This magazine is very good and tasteful. " Ah Yi briefly introduced the magazine and handed it to Xiao Qing. "Wow, I can't see that you are quite good at beauty and fashion." "You don't praise me so much. I'm just a hobby.

Give me a topic first:

A girl must be interested-her hobbies (this depends on how much you know about her interests, what you want to chase after her, what she likes, and how much you need to know, but even if you are an expert in this field, you should pretend to ask some questions that she must know, be modest, and make the girl feel that you are meaningful. If you ask her something that she doesn't know, just say, "I heard so." . . . "Don't tell her in detail, give her a train of thought, and let her explain it to you, so we can start the topic.

You see, in the past, beauty makeup was just a woman's fashion. Now people's living standards have improved and their pursuits have changed. Why can't men live brighter? "They talked about fashion, from makeup to fashion, from playing" cool "to darkness, and when they broke up, they were already like a pair of lovers who had been in love for a long time.

Xiaoqing's cleverness lies in her belief that a book always leads to many book-related topics. Even though Ayi is just holding a book for show and is not interested in books or a certain topic, he is always interested in many social life topics triggered by books, so their first conversation was very successful and tacit. Girls may be interested in:

First, the interesting things and anecdotes around you should be lively, even if they are not interesting, they should be interesting and show your cheerful and humorous side. This is very important. You should ask her some questions from time to time, "How do I feel about this? What do you think? " This can avoid talking alone, but you can also understand her character by understanding her point of view. Second, you must master her horoscope and her birthdates. The trick is that if her horoscope is suitable for making friends and getting married, if it is not your horoscope, or your nemesis is your horoscope, in short, you can say something bad for you and understand it. On the contrary, you can mention it in a joking tone, but you can't care too much. You can change the subject immediately, and you don't need to ask her opinion. Girls are more sensitive, and your intention may be rejected prematurely. The personality characteristics of her constellation can be discussed with her. "People say XX. . . Anyway, I don't think you do/sometimes you do. Do you think this kind of personality is good? " If she says constellation. . . No, she will tell you her true character and get to know you better. If she is accurate, you can praise her, and so on.

Third, film and television consultation, what movies are shown and what TV series are very popular. If she likes this aspect, you can talk to her more, or try to let her talk about her own views and understand her inner world. If she didn't watch it, and the film has just been released, it can be said that she said the film was very good/the scene was big/the director was good/the starring cast was strong. . . . . . You happen to have a movie ticket (which is very important, it can be said that it was given by a friend or relative), and then you suffer from no one to accompany you, and then you invite her, because she said that the chances of seeing it just after it was released are very small. . . . . .

Fourth, gossip entertainment, stars or people around them, but behind others' backs, it is not good. First of all, you must make sure that she is interested. This should be used with caution.

5. jokes and riddles. If she is not very happy, avoid pornographic jokes and riddles and keep her appetite down properly. Whether it's a joke or a riddle, prepare something new, interesting, closely combined and with some chat skills.

1. When chatting with a girl, to master the temperature is to change the topic range and frequency of chatting according to the distance between you and her. If you just met, don't talk to others every day. It is best to choose the things around her, her interests, jokes and riddles.

2. Many people make mistakes, such as a text message or a QQ message, asking three or more questions. Girls may be confused when answering, and some can only answer the last question. This kind of question after another makes girls feel uncomfortable if you don't check the prisoner's account. I remind you, it's best to ask 1 or two questions at a time, not too many.

3. Similarly, you should avoid the form of question and answer. What you need to do is to ask her and express your opinion on the questions you want to ask, such as "I think this. . . . . . What's the matter? What about you? /What do you think? " 4, topic spread, when chatting with girls, start from a topic, what to do after a topic is finished, and find a new topic from what you just talked about, that is, digression and understanding, which is what you want to think on the spot.

5, change the topic-the use of related words, if the above one is not done, how to open a new topic, use related words, "er word. . . . . ? ""I remember what you just said. . . . . . ? "Even if the omitted part has nothing to do with what she said, it will give her the illusion that you came up with it from her words and make her feel that the turning point of your topic is not gentle and abrupt.

6. If you can't find a topic, immediately quit the conversation, say that you have something to do, quit and talk again, so that the initiative is in your place, avoid silence, and make her feel that your conversation is always pleasant and look forward to the next conversation.

The same sentence, said in different ways will have different effects, first look at these words:

1. Just marry me, let alone borrow money from you. Men not only solve the embarrassment of borrowing money from women, but also make women willing to lend money to men, and slick men will win women's hearts if they take advantage.

Your skin is so white that I have no night. It's an exaggeration for you to flatter others and speak so quietly.

Why do you look like white? You can't tell your age. Ha, saying this to middle-aged women must make them feel like fairies. )

I will miss you, because I have to break up with you every night. (Make it interesting and meaningful to get off work in this way)

Go back to cook first, I won't go back for the time being. (The first half of the sentence originally meant the same thing, but when put together, it means ridicule. )

I'll wait for your wolf to be away, otherwise, you won't dare to see me. A common joke in online chat is who is afraid of who is not, anyway, it is good that the wolf is not at home.

I haven't seen you for several days. Listen, I think you want to lose weight. It's probably true that you lost weight, but why did you lose weight? Is playboy also infatuated? )

8. Become a leader quickly. I'm waiting for you to put me in the hidden rules. (haha, there is such a hidden rule of waiting for others. I'm really flattered. Take it early! )

9. I will wait for you to become a fox until the flowers fade. If you just say, I hope you seduce me, it's too boring. )

10. I'm not allowed to marry anyone else in my next life. I'll make a reservation first (Things in the next life, please in this life)

1 1, I won't sleep if you accompany me. If you want to sleep, let's go to sleep together. (Online anecdote, accompanying reading is also at both ends of the network. Sleeping together will be different, but why is the meaning of this sentence so ambiguous? )

12, you leave me the money, and I will help you spend it like a wife. Don't say anything, hand in the passbook and never tell her the password.

13, I began to feel sorry when I saw you, because my wife only has one establishment. I kept it for you, but I didn't know you then. It's easy to say this just to take advantage. )

14, male or female, not tired from work. Do you know what this is? Don't get it wrong, or you will be taken in.

15. After you left yesterday, I felt lovelorn again. (People who like curve Catherine are really adult games. )

17, why are you dressed up so beautifully, always dangling in front of me and deliberately making me make mistakes? Flatter a woman and tease her again.

Welcome to ask questions. The above are all pure original works that I summarized based on my experience of chatting with girls. If I think I have learned something, I will adopt one.