I have a crush on a beautiful woman on the construction site. How can I be a fairy with her?

The girls who just struck up a conversation left each other's phone numbers in a hurry, and they had limited understanding of each other. How to chat with MM through SMS? Because the sense of security established by chatting up is not very high, it is not suitable to enter the pursuit procedure immediately after meeting. First, list some wrong SMS chat methods to see if you have been shot. ...

When PS develops to a certain extent, it is time to strike while the iron is hot. Please see the advanced stage of picking up girls-20 romantic confessions of marrying a foreign wife.

Some wrong ways to chat by SMS:

Cut to the chase: "Are you free for dinner today?" (Too anxious, no bedding, girls generally don't like it, of course, there are also very manly people who will be willing. )

Household registration management type: "hello, my name is xxx, I work in yyy, zzz." Nice to meet you. " It's not like a person, it's a computer program. )

Be caring and attentive: "The lowest temperature tomorrow 1 degree, and the highest temperature 13 degree. Caring about the weather means caring about yourself. Don't forget to add one more dress. " Do we know each other? )

Joke: "Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on a bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. When asked how they got together, the chimpanzee said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape dung! " Forwarding humorous news is a low-level performance that makes everyone laugh. )

Narcissism: "If one day, you feel tired, as long as you turn around, my blessing will be by your side. No matter how far away, no matter how many years, this blessing will turn into a blue star, flashing in the morning, flashing in the evening and flashing in every corner of your life." (mental derangement! )

Endlessly asking: "What should I do?" (Watching TV) "What program are you watching?" (If you are the one) "Is it interesting?" (Not bad) "What should I do after reading it?" (... the woman finally stopped answering her text messages)

What's more, it drags English: "Hey, what are you doing now? Close your eyes and I will be by your side, thinking of you day and night!" " (I don't comment)

Dear, if you have done these stupid things, please read on.

When it comes to how to send text messages to unfamiliar girls correctly, we must first understand the differences in thinking between the two sexes.

Sasha and Fangfang are together

Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."

Fangfang: "I saw a windbreaker in Dongdan the day before yesterday, and I like it very much."

Sasha is with her boyfriend.

Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."

Boyfriend: "How much is it?"

For millions of years, men have been quietly waiting for prey in the grass, and women have been chatting with children in caves. Men and men cooperate because of a clear goal, and then start to act silently after consultation. It is normal for women and women to come together because of the same situation, and it is normal to talk about each other's state and feelings. Therefore, men are projection thinking and women are mapping thinking. To this day, we will watch it.

Up to now, two men can go fishing without saying a word, but they can spend an afternoon squatting by the pond. Two women go shopping, even if they don't buy anything, they will talk all day.

Look at the examples of Sasha and Fangfang.

Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful." (where to see something, this is the state; What is particularly beautiful is the feeling. )

Fangfang: "I saw a windbreaker in Dongdan the day before yesterday, and I like it very much." Women seem to be chatting happily, but in fact they are all talking about their own affairs. )

Sasha is with her boyfriend.

Sasha: "I saw a skirt in Xidan yesterday. It was beautiful."

Boyfriend: "How much is it?" (Go directly to the problem solver)

Men talk to solve problems, while women talk to describe themselves in problems. Men don't know how to chat with unfamiliar girls because they accept the influence of sexual thinking. He will think: anyway, that's what we are actually doing, or we can meet directly; Or "giving gifts", that is, showing concern; Or "let her know how strong my hunting ability is", which is called display value. In fact, these are all purposeful behaviors. For a woman, unless she is willing to let you enter the pursuit process, it will resist men's purposeful behavior. The relationship between street and street is just not suitable for immediate pursuit, so this is also the fundamental reason why many chat-up offenders are unfavorable in the future.

There is a phenomenon in smooth sexual communication: the active party will adapt to the passive party's way of thinking. As a man, if a woman throws herself at you, of course you can act according to your own thinking, otherwise, you should learn to talk to them in women's language.

The following are some basic principles of SMS chat.

First, know each other's status and often say "What are you doing" (or "Are you busy" and "How are you doing recently". ), and then according to the speed, content and tone of the other party's answer, comprehensively judge the other party's state (busy or not, are you in the mood to chat).

If you feel that the other person is not in the state, then don't continue to send text messages, so as to ensure that you don't make mistakes and are not annoying. You still have a chance in the future.

If you are not sure whether the other party is in a state, for example, the other party answers "at work."

You can answer, "Me too. I'm not busy now. When I suddenly think of you, I will send a message. " Introduce your status, add some feelings and find out your connection. )

This answer is both a communication and a test. It doesn't matter if the other party doesn't come back. You didn't make any mistakes. But as long as the other person is not busy and doesn't hate you, it is usually easy to continue. Girls usually talk about themselves or ask you some questions, such as "We are always busy and will go on a business trip next week." (Describe the status)

You can answer: "envy, I haven't been on a business trip for a long time, and staying in one place feels quite boring." (state+feeling)

Maybe she will continue to say, "What do you envy? We have a hard business trip and have no time to play. " (She also joined the feelings, which is a good sign of improved communication. )

That's it in short. Everything you say to me is trivial. It's natural to feel strange after talking too much, and then invite again, which is basically natural.

Remember, always grasp the "state"+"feeling" and find the connection between you and her (it can be the same or different, and it can be a topic of chat).

About the main points of asking questions:

Don't ask questions all the time. Keep talking and asking questions separately to avoid giving the other person an aggressive feeling.

When you are asked a question in the opposite direction, you should answer it well. For example, she asked, "Is your work always leisurely?" Just take this opportunity to introduce yourself, and don't forget to add "What about you?" Finally. It's friendly and easy to keep the chat going.

About the time of texting:

Preferably around 4: 30 pm. Generally speaking, this time is the least busy, whether it's work or school. Moreover, another study claims that at 4: 30 pm, human sexual desire reaches its peak, but this may also be a rumor. Anyway, it is no wonder that many people are polite. ...

About the end of the message:

The characteristic of short messages is that they can be returned or not, so we don't have to worry about why the other party suddenly left without saying goodbye. Of course, be polite and considerate. We are the initiative. If the other party doesn't reply to the text message, it's today.

Our communication is over, and we will contact you some other day. Then we don't have to ask why people didn't reply to the text messages last time, and we can reopen the topic. Try not to text a girl you don't know twice a day, including calling.

Otherwise, people will think you are difficult.

In short, the characteristics of the devil's short message flow are unpretentious, fully aiming at women's psychology, not pursuing wonderful routines like other schools, not asking for merit but asking for nothing (nagging is not long-winded, the temperature should be well grasped), the rope saws wood, the slow work makes fine work, and the iron pestle grinds into needles.

Between the activities of the chat-up class, there is a wonderful teaching content that the devil teacher helps students send text messages to the girls they know, which is more wonderful than the devil teacher chatting with his own girls.

This can only explain another problem: these chats are more handsome than the devil.

When chatting up, if a girl flicks her hair from time to time when talking to you, it is a very good sign that she has unconsciously begun to care about her appearance. But usually only handsome guys can get this kind of treatment. People like me who have lived on inner beauty for almost ten years have never met anyone who teased my hair. It was not until these years that I organized a chat-up class. When the teacher watched others chat up, I found that there was such a beautiful scene in the world, and the follow-up was basically smooth. Please note, however, that only when a strange man accosts her directly can a girl's hair be pulled up, because people often react in an emergency and reveal real information. In normal life, girls will tease their hair, but men don't have to flatter themselves.

In the short message stage, there are three levels of interest indicators.

Low interest: She answers whatever you ask.

You: "What should I do?"

She: "Class."

Moderate interest: She shares her feelings with you.

You: "What should I do?"

She: "I'm in class, so sleepy."

Highly interested: she also wants to know about you.

You: "What should I do?"

She: "I'm in class. I am sleepy. What about you? "

Let's talk about the dating stage.

It's good to be with you. A friend who has a car can do this test, pass by somewhere, tell her that you have to get off and do something, which will take about 10 minutes (such as picking up clothes from the dry cleaner), and ask her if she would like to wait in the car or go with you. Generally speaking, girls who are interested in you will not choose to wait for you in the car.

It is good to be willing to walk together. For example, after afternoon tea, it's time for dinner. One is a restaurant nearby. You can walk there. The other restaurant is far away, so we have to take a bus to see where she wants to go. Girls who are interested in you will choose to go to a nearby restaurant. In the same way, girls who are not in a hurry to end their date after dinner and don't want to spend any more entertainment, but are willing to walk and chat with you are often the most interesting.

To put it bluntly, "like you" means "like being with you", and "interesting to you" and "interesting to the date you arranged" are different. When MM doesn't know us well enough, it is necessary to strive for meeting opportunities by arranging interesting dates, but don't forget, it depends on whether MM is interested in herself in the end.

Next, talk about face-to-face chat.

When dating, if one party talks a lot and the other party listens actively, then usually the listener will be attracted to the speaker. At this stage, listening to you carefully is a very important indicator of a girl's goodwill. Even if you talk about trivial things, she will listen with relish and respond with questions, which shows that she is interested in you. The reverse is also true, which is exactly what we show in front of the girls we like.

It is worth noting that at the beginning of the date, the girl's talk only shows that she has some trust in you, but if she keeps this state and never pays attention to your situation, it means that you may be regarded as a trash can. Perfect dating communication should be two-way, listening to each other carefully and responding positively. Therefore, when the date reaches a certain stage, you must talk about yourself, so that you can see how interested she is in you from the other person's reaction.

In the process of men chasing women, because of their eagerness to achieve success, we often ignore these simple truths, blindly cater to the needs, and are busy making good feelings, while ignoring the judgment of the other party's interest in you.

In addition, it is emphasized that asking questions is not necessarily an indicator of interest. Some realistic girls will ask, "Where are you from? What job ... "That has nothing to do with interest. People are just pre-screening. At this time, we should recognize what a "material girl" is. It is normal for women to have material requirements for men. Most women will judge whether a man is qualified by his details, which is a euphemism and implicit "woman's way". The "material girls" are often naked and direct, and they adopt the "man's way". From the perspective of evolution, women will face the world like men only if they are unsafe. Therefore, we don't like "material girls", in fact, we don't like insecure women. For example, the famous saying "I'd rather cry in a BMW" that has been widely ridiculed recently-this local girl dare not even think about it. Which man wants to marry a crying wife?

Therefore, just as men should talk and do things like men, women are lovely to us when they are like women, and insecure women tend to think and act like men. For example, "What do you do?" And "What do you do at work?" As men, women are certainly more willing to choose the latter way of speaking. Because the former focuses on social roles (this is the way men think, just like we liked hero ranking when we were young), and the latter focuses on your state (this is full of femininity), that is, being interested in you.

The biggest difference between Devil dating science and other schools is to observe each other's state. Because the goodwill cultivated is often limited, but the goodwill excavated is often full of surprises. In the short life, there are always some people who appreciate us and don't miss them, which is our greatest happiness.

At that time, I wrote "What can I do for you?" The success rate is the lowest. Even if MM is friendly, the possibility of getting the number is close to zero.

Now reanalyze it in a critical way. MM's response A is male thinking, response B is female thinking, and response C is also female thinking. And my answer can also be divided into two kinds: male thinking and female thinking. If I answer MM's response B with female thinking-"I just saw you there and thought I might regret not knowing you, so I ran over at the first heat (the description of the incident and my feelings)." The result is basically good, the success rate is 70%, but the success rate is less than 1 0% when it is also used to answer MM's reply1

Now that I have found the problem, MM's response A is male thinking, so I shouldn't answer with female thinking. If you change to a male thinking-"There is something I want to know with you (state the purpose)." Such a clear and firm answer may have a 30-50% chance, so try it. Although the success rate is not high, it is like a goalkeeper taking a penalty. It's better to find a direction to die than to wait for the other person to intervene before judging. Sometimes a man's lifestyle is adventure.

So when you hear "What can I do for you?" At the same time, remember that the girl opposite you is a man at the moment. Unless she is already your girlfriend, you can flirt with her, or just come. And such an answer-"I just want to hear your voice", "I just want to talk to you" or "I just saw you there and thought I might regret not knowing you, so I ran over at the first heat." It will only make her think that you are such a long-winded man.

Example 2 I helped a student make an appointment with MM, and sent the first short message at 6 pm-"Are you home?" MM replied, "I just got home. What's the matter?" This is a typical male thinking reaction, so I immediately invited-"Let's have dinner together at noon tomorrow", and mm replied "OK". It's that simple. However, if MM replies, "I just got home and I'm exhausted." It is a typical female thinking. Don't be too direct at this time. You should talk to her mother-in-law for a while, and then invite her when the status comes up.

Example 3: Many men complain that women can't speak their minds and invite short messages-"Let's go to the party tonight?"

The answers of the three girls,

A- "I have to work overtime tonight."

B- "Our dormitory 1 1 will be closed soon."

C- "I live in XXX (a place far from the city)"

Experienced people can tell at a glance that responses A and B are rejection, while response C implies that you are here to provide a solution.

Analysis: Answers A and B are future tense descriptions, which belong to male thinking and directly point to the conflict with invitation. This is a unique way for women to say "no"; Response C is a pure state description, which belongs to female thinking, indicating that girls have a certain sense of security for you and completely avoid conflicts. Even if she can't keep the appointment tonight, she wants to know how good this man will be to herself.

By the way, if a girl with male thinking wants to date you, she will usually say, "Our dormitory 1 1 is closed. Can I come back before it closes?"

Example 4: One of my students accosted the girl she met the next day, and sent a text message the next afternoon, returning more than a dozen messages. The atmosphere was good. The girl was cleaning the room.

So the classmate invited: "What are you going to do after cleaning up the room?"

Girl: "What do you want?"

Student: "I want to talk to you."

Girl: "I was so tired last night that I don't want to go out today."

Analysis: "What do you want?" It belongs to male thinking and represents a certain sense of insecurity. You need to give a clear plan for her to decide, such as "going to a coffee shop near your home", so that girls who may not want to go too far will agree. Remind everyone again that in the face of girls' male thinking state, we should stand firm and have a clear plan, and at the same time be brave in taking risks.

The last example is a chat case of Taiwan Province student po whom I have never met.

Po: "Hello, (stop, the girl didn't run) I want to know you."

Woman: "Then what?"

Abao analysis: This is a girl's insecurity, that is, asking you what method you want to know before deciding, typical male thinking. You should tell her in detail, accurately and completely how you want to know her, then how to know her and how to decide for her.

So Po replied, "Then we'll talk while walking. If we talk well, then we will change our contact information. If you can't talk well, don't talk about it. "

I believe everyone can feel the wonderful answer.

In real life, 90% of the communication between two people consists of ordinary conversations, and the attraction is basically determined from the beginning. In the following daily communication, you can't always carry out DHV, and you can't use your skills endlessly. Only by correctly reading each other's meaning and accurately grasping each other's state can you step by step towards those critical moments that affect your relationship.

We all know that the body has subconscious language. For example, when we are with people who are interested, we will point our toes at her; When we hear the first sentence from someone who has a good impression, we will lean out our neck slightly; In the face of people we don't like, we try not to look straight; When we are nervous and anxious, we are used to putting our hands (or one hand) in our trouser pockets.

For the language itself used in conversation, there are also some subconscious habits that affect our expression.

In order to simplify the problem, we only discuss dialogues in different directions, and analyze them from three aspects: person, tense and thinking orientation.

First, people

Confident people like to use "I" as the subject, and we are used to starting with "you" in the face of interested people.

For example, when chatting up, the other party asks, "Why do you want to know each other?" Let's compare the following two answers.

I think I will regret not knowing you. )

Because you have a lot of temperament (the other person hides himself, which only shows that you are interested in others, but you can't let others know about you. )

Therefore, for a person who dares to describe himself, this kind of statement beginning with the word "I" will convey his sense of security and self-confidence, which is called "gas field".

Many times we talk about self-confidence and inner strength abstractly, but the devil dating science wants to find something operable. For example, when praising, changing "you are very temperament" to "I think you are very temperament" will make the other person feel more natural and at the same time make himself more calm.

Now you can see that "I want to know you" is a good opening remark. Similarly, we can also understand why it is not good to pretend to be an acquaintance from this perspective.

-Who's calling, please? If the other person feels insecure, he will think: Who cares who I am? Who the fuck are you ? )

In the subsequent stage, this person's law will still be shown.

One of my students dated the girl she met and made rapid progress. Holding hands and hugging her, she went home at night, and the girl took the initiative to send a text message "I had a good time today". The student was also very proud, and she called a few days later.

Student-(Are you) free tomorrow afternoon?

Girl-(I) will celebrate my classmate's birthday tomorrow afternoon.

Student-Shall we have coffee together in the morning?

Girl-haha, I usually get up at noon.

Please note that students' hidden subjects are "you" and "you and me", while girls' hidden subjects are "me".

After hanging up the phone, the student confidently told me that the girl had a good attitude and planned to continue the appointment in two days, but the magic teacher felt bad. Because if it is a little ambiguous stage, even if the girl really has other things, at least she should be worried about the relationship between the boy and the two, such as-"What a pity, what will you do tomorrow?" Or-"Let's have dinner together another day."

By the way, just "haha" is not necessarily a good signal. If the girl's answer is-"Haha, I usually get up at noon, or you are diligent!" "So the" haha "here is to ease the atmosphere, but if there is no concern for you, the bare" haha "may hide impatience with you.

Sure enough, a few days later, the students continued to invite and were declined. After that, they drifted away.

Point: I have aura, but I'm not interested without you.

Another phenomenon is that some men are afraid to say "I" at first, but in the later period of communication, they may feel safe enough, and the conversation is full of "I", which is actually an outbreak of repressed narcissism. For example, the following tug-of-war of confession,

M: I like you very much.

W: I think we'd better be friends.

Man: But I am sincere to you.

W: I don't want to fall in love with anyone now.

Man: But I'm not like them. ...

-both sides begin with the word "I", which shows that no one really cares about anyone. Of course, this kind of confession usually ends in disgrace.

The style of devil dating science is to talk more about yourself in the early stage and talk more about each other in the later stage. Although we take the initiative to strike out and show interest in others when chatting up, and grasp the balance by talking more about ourselves, in the later stage of communication, we emphasize the attention to each other, because it is not important to expose our interest at this stage, but more important to go deep into MM's inner world.

Let's use the scientific routine of devil dating to disassemble the confession dialogue above. Actually, I don't advocate forcing others Here is just an example for everyone to understand how the change of names affects the color of the dialogue when it is necessary to insist. To put it bluntly, it is to explain what "importune" is.

Demon: I like you very much

W: But I think we'd better be friends.

Demon: Have you ever heard a saying-"A soldier who doesn't want to be a general is not a good soldier" and another saying "A friend who doesn't want to be a boyfriend is not a good friend", so I think I will be your good friend, too. "

W: I don't want to fall in love with anyone now.

Demon: Oh, when do you want to fall in love most, sixth grade or freshman year? Do you think many people don't want to fall in love when they are old?

Even if she gave the best answer at present: "In fact, there is no rule, mainly to see if there is any feeling."

You can also continue to say, "Well, you are really special. Many people don't have the courage to express it directly. It seems that I have a good eye, but unfortunately my luck is not good enough. Hehe ... By the way, what's your luck? Every time I say that my feelings can't be hit? "

Have you noticed that the above answers all take "you" as the subject? Please close your eyes and think again. Can your subconscious language do this whenever it is rejected? Either "I, I, I" keeps saying, or silence. People who really persist are often good at saying "you".

Second, tense

When men are inclined to the future, women tend to think in the past tense and present tense. In the future, it is easy to create an antagonistic atmosphere (this is the case in negotiations. Try not to say "Let's go shopping together" when chatting up. The past tense and the present tense are more suitable for communication and communication.

Still analyzing the above example, sometimes a good way of dialogue often has the main points I summarized at the same time

Response 1: "You have heard the saying (lead her to relax)-"A soldier who doesn't want to be a general is not a good soldier ",and there is another saying-"A friend who doesn't want to be a boyfriend is not a good friend "(funny), so I think I will be your good friend (go back to myself and show my confidence)."

Response 2, "Oh, when do you want to fall in love most, sixth grade or freshman?" Do you think that many people don't want to fall in love when they are old? (present tense) "

Response 3: "Well, you are really special. Many people don't have the courage to express it directly (parallel skills will be discussed in the third part of the thinking orientation meeting). It seems that I have a good eye, but unfortunately my luck is not good enough. Hehe ... (describe yourself and show confidence). By the way, how is your luck? Can you say your feelings every time without being hit? Guide her to recall the past, and at the same time use your present state to find * * *. )

By the way, some people completely deny confession, but they are still looking at problems with male thinking. They regard confession as an act of setting goals and accomplishing tasks, and then come to the conclusion after many failures: confession should not be made. However, as can be seen from the above examples, confession can also be an advanced way to deepen understanding, enhance relations and even produce ambiguity if handled with female thinking.

Point 1: The future tense is usually a language program to solve problems, while the past tense and present tense are language programs to describe problems. So when the two sides can't reach an agreement smoothly, it is an effective way to ease the atmosphere and seek * * * *.

The second point: when the past tense appears in women's conversations, it is often a symbol of concern, interest and security for you.

For example, in our previous classic example, the girl who has been pursued for a long time suddenly replied to the boy's text message-"It's been so long, why do you keep contacting me?" This is a sign of a change in attitude towards boys. However, if you want to seize the opportunity, you need to reply correctly. In short, you need to describe your past state and feelings to MM completely. The detailed case is in the book "Devil's Chat".

The third point: only when the other person's conversation revolves around your past "state" can it show that he is interested in you, but if you only understand the causal relationship in the physical world through you, that is another matter.

For example, after playing a guessing game, if MM asks "Why?" It only means that she wants to know the objective reason of this magical phenomenon, which has nothing to do with you. But sometimes this is a reverse test-if people don't even ask "why", it doesn't mean anything to you.

Finally, give an example to sum up the above points. One of my students exchanged text messages with a girl on holiday, and the last one was sent by a girl-"Because it takes at least ten minutes for you to reply to my text messages every time, I have no patience to talk to you at all. You are rude, you don't have to reply. " They have known each other for a week, sent more than 50 text messages back and forth, called once and never met again. )

Afterwards, the students made two phone calls and both hung up. When depressed, I went back to the group to post that I was out. After reading it, I told him that it was a very strong family hint and I wanted to keep in touch. The student called for the third time, but the other party still didn't answer. He was about to post again and formally give up. He received a short message from the girl-"I don't know what to say next", called again and talked for an hour. ...

Analysis:

"Because of you"-interest-oriented.

"Every time"-completely in the past tense.