Are there any funny jokes?

Some people say that I am always lazy. In fact, I have tried my best to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide every day.

think

I used to think that being addicted to the Internet affected my efforts and progress, and I struggled in the abyss of being disconnected from the Internet and retreating from Weibo. Now re-examine my life, it is obvious that vulgar and false efforts in the eyes of the secular have affected my mood of surfing the Internet! After correcting my thoughts, I suddenly became enlightened. Brush Weibo to understand the world, play games to exercise your brain, and watch videos to cultivate your body and mind. My life has a bright future!

make an effort

Postgraduate entrance examination is a person's battle, and the more you get to the end, the more you must persist. Recite more political English and consolidate the professional courses I have seen before. Although hard work may not be successful, it will be very comfortable not to work hard. Watch movies, sing K, go shopping and travel, and do whatever you want!

success

Seeing others working so hard, so diligent and so energetic on the road to success, ask yourself: don't you want to be a stumbling block to them?

Please?Line?Up?

There was a time when I particularly hated queuing. I felt that time was wasted and I was very unhappy. But then I thought about it, mainly because of my problem: generally speaking, the poorer people are, the more time they wait in line in their lives.

like

There are thirteen girls in my middle school class, including me. A playboy boy in the class likes all the twelve girls, and it's almost his turn to like me. He transferred to another school.

Observe and evaluate the suitability of future spouse or son.

On a blind date with a sister arranged by a colleague, I suddenly got up before the food was served: "I feel bored, shall I go first?" Then he left.

I had to endure tears and eat all the dishes for both of them, because I vomited after eating too much.

mature early

My daughter said she didn't want to go to kindergarten after only one day.

Asked why, she replied: She told her deskmate that she didn't have to study and went home to marry her when she grew up. After marriage, you don't have to go to work or cook, just watch cartoons every day!

mistake

Your dog doesn't know you can make mistakes. When you get up at night and trip over it in the dark, it will only think that you get up and kick its head.

cheat

On the way home from school, she suddenly said, "Mom, I want to eat three ice creams today!" " "

Me: "children can't eat that much, they can only eat one!" " "

She: "Good!"

I was lost in thought when I watched my daughter eating ice cream happily.

society

My cousin who went to college told me that she couldn't stand boys like Little White Rabbit. She thinks everyone is good people, just like idiots. Every time I see such a boy, she wants to sleep with him, making him realize that society is sinister and people are unpredictable.

massive

In my opinion, the problem of advanced mathematics is this: it is known that the school finishes class at 12: 30, and Xiao mingcan leaves the classroom 10 minutes earlier. He needs to go down seven floors, each with 30 steps. The distance from the teaching building to the canteen is 320 meters, the wind speed is 3 meters per second, and Xiao Ming walks 70 centimeters. Q: Will Xiaoming order fish-flavored shredded pork when he arrives at the canteen?