Ask: 20 10 latest joke _ _

This case has been completely clarified.

The teacher has been pregnant for some days, but the children in her kindergarten don't seem to notice the little guys who are thriving like them.

One day, a dental hygienist was invited to teach children how to protect their teeth, and said that if they were greedy for sweets and chocolates, it would not only harm their teeth, but also make them fat. On the way back to the classroom, a little boy caught up with the teacher and pointed to her stomach and said, "I see what you have been doing, teacher!" " "

Do one good deed every day.

The teacher said to the students, "Each of you should do a good deed every day."

The next day, the teacher asked, "Hu Sanger, what did you do yesterday?"

"I helped an old woman cross the street."

"Good boy! Fan Lidong, what about you? "

"I helped Hussanger and helped an old woman cross the road."

"This is also very good. Manucher, what about you? "

"Teacher, I helped Hu Sanger and Fan Lidong help an old woman cross the road."

"How strange! Are you three helping the same old woman cross the street? "

"It's nothing strange!" Hussanger reported loudly, "That old woman doesn't need to cross the road. We worked hard to help her. " middle

Man's demeanor

Mrs. Hope is driving on the highway in a new convertible. It only took her five minutes to violate all the traffic laws, and finally she knocked down a man who was approaching. Mrs Hope got off the bus and said apologetically to the man, "I'm really sorry, sir. It's all my fault. I took the wrong route. I hope you haven't been hurt in any way? " The man said with a wry smile, "No, madam, it's my own fault." He picked up two knocked-out teeth from the ground. "Because I saw you 300 meters away, I had time to look for that tree."

Drive too fast

A driver will drive home after drinking. He saw the car speeding by again and again in the mirror and thought, no, the car is driving too fast! So he's going to slow down. However, the car in the mirror is getting faster and faster. No, slow down, he thought. So I'm going to slow down.

At this moment, I saw a policeman knocking on the glass of his car. No way, he thought. He must have driven too fast and was seen by the police. So he opened the car door and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I didn't pay attention just now. I was driving too fast again." I saw the policeman angrily pulling him out of the car: "You know you can't park in the driveway! A fine of 50! "

luckily

One day, Xiao Neng, Xiao Tian and Xiao Gui were walking in the park. They saw something in the middle of the road.

"It looks like poop!" Xiao neng said, "let's check it." He bent down and took a deep breath. "It smells like poop." He said.

Odd stepped forward and put his finger in. "It feels like poop." He said.

Xiaogui poked it into her mouth and said, "It tastes like poop, too."

The three men finally breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It's a good thing we didn't step on it!" "

The more you talk, the more exposed you are.

A driver was driving through an intersection when a traffic policeman came up and said, "Congratulations, sir, you are the first person who didn't violate the traffic rules at this intersection. To this end, I decided to reward you 100 yuan. " The driver said happily, "Great, I can use this money to test my driver's license." The policeman said, "What? You have no driver's license? " The driver's wife quickly said, "Don't listen to his nonsense, he is drunk." The policeman said, "What? Do you still drink? " The driver's mother added, "I told you to drive the stolen car carefully."

I am 30 years later.

The fifth-grade composition teacher assigned a composition topic "Me Thirty Years Later".

Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: ... It's a nice day today. I take my children to the park to play. I'm driving the limousine my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on my finger and a gold necklace around my neck that he just bought me last month. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully. Oh, my God! She used to be my Chinese teacher in grade five.

The eloquence of the tour guide ... alas!

Passenger: Hello! On behalf of somersault travel agency, I would like to welcome you! Now, let me introduce our car.

The bike you are riding now has been scrapped 13 years. Because there is no brake, you must collide with other objects before parking. This is our driver master. He set an accident record of 12 minutes. He usually only needs two bottles to get on the bus.

This car has no speedometer. If your upper teeth are broken, the speed is 40 kilometers. If the glass window flies out, the speed is 80 kilometers per hour; If the wheel falls off, the speed is140km; If the roof flies out, then we will reach the last one-heaven.

I sincerely wish you all a pleasant journey and good health. Now let's start writing our last words. ...

Reasons for going to jail

One day, a new prisoner came to prison. The old man asked the new one, "Hey, what crime did you commit?"

"Oh, nothing, I just fried fish in a place where fishing is forbidden, and then some fish came up on the water."

The old one said, "So you are in prison?"

The newcomer said, "I'm not finished yet. There are six divers coming up. "

A girl jealous of ants

A woman, who likes sweets and is very fat, has a hobby: she hates ants and kills them when she sees them. Asked why, he replied, "This little thing likes sweets so much and has such a thin waist that it really annoys me!" "

Auntie drives.

A 70-year-old aunt is driving a car and carrying three old people who are also aunts slowly along the provincial road. The traffic police stopped her and said, "Aunt, you drive so slowly, which affects the traffic."

The aunt who was driving said, "Didn't that sign say 20?"

The traffic police said, "That's Highway 20!"

The aunt driving said, "Oh! Oh! Which highway is that, not the speed limit! "

The traffic police said: "Yes, doubt? Why are the other three aunts behind you so ugly? "

The aunt who was driving replied, "We just drove from Highway 245!" middle

The fish drowned.

One day I went to the kindergarten for an interview and saw a goldfish bowl in front of the window of a class. There were only some aquatic plants in it, so I asked, "Hey! What about the goldfish inside? "

"oh! I just died two days ago, "said the teacher.

"He drowned!" A child next to me, seeing my puzzled face, explained eagerly.

Little sharpshooter

The coach of the shooting team found a bullet hole in the street wall, all of which made a small chalk circle. He thought this must be a dead shot, and he must be found anyway.

After investigation, he found that the shooter was actually a seven-year-old child.

"Kid," the coach asked enviously, "where did you learn to shoot?"

"Nothing," the child said casually. "It's very simple. I shot at the wall first, and then drew a circle around the bullet hole with chalk. " Medium \

dry

Dad put his son to bed and went back to the bedroom to get ready for bed.

"Dad!" Cried the son.

"What is it?"

"I am thirsty. Can I have a glass of water? "

"You just drank it! Go to sleep, I have turned off the lights! "

five minutes later ...

"dad! I'm thirsty. Can't you get me a glass of water? "

"I just said! You let me hit you again! "

Another five minutes passed. ...

"Dad!"

"What's the matter?"

"Be sure to bring a glass of water when you come to hit me!"

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