What are some funny jokes in English?

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge you $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for tooth extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loudly that all the other four patients were scared out of the office.

exorbitant price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I have to charge $25 for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: twenty-five dollars! But I know it only costs five dollars to pull out a tooth?

Dentist: Yes. But your son shouted so loudly that he scared away four patients.

Funny English joke 2: I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "

"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "

"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "

"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "

"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."

Funny English joke 3: Poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to get along with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question and then answered it herself. Then she explained to me why my answer was wrong for half an hour.

Poor husband

"You have no idea how difficult it is to deal with my wife," a man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question, then answered it herself, and then spent half an hour explaining to me why my answer was wrong."

Who is more polite?

A fat man and a thin man are arguing about who is more polite. The thin man said he was more polite because he always took off his hat to ladies. But the fat man knows that he is more polite, because whenever he gets up and gives up his seat, two ladies can sit down.

Who is more polite?

A fat man and a thin man are arguing about who is more polite. The thin man said he was more polite because he often motioned the ladies to take off their hats. But the fat man thinks he is more elegant, because whenever he gives his seat to others in the car, there are always two ladies who can sit down.

Funny English joke 4: Let the dog enter the hotel.

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel where he was going on vacation: "I really want to take my dog." He is well dressed and behaves very appropriately. Will you allow me to leave him in my room at night? "

The hotel owner immediately replied, "I have been running this hotel for many years." During that time, I never let the dog steal towels, sheets, silverware or paintings from the wall. I have never had to expel a dog in the middle of the night because it was drunk and disorderly. I have never owed a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome in my hotel. If your dog can vouch for you, you are welcome to live here. "

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel, where he planned to stay during the holiday. "I really want to take my dog. Clean and cultured. Can you allow it to share a room with me? "

The hotel owner immediately replied to a letter, "I have been running a hotel for many years, and dogs have never stolen towels, sheets, tableware or paintings on the wall." I have never driven a dog away in the middle of the night because he was drunk and disturbed the peace, and the dog has never run away without paying the bill. In fact, your dog is very welcome in our hotel. If it vouches for you, you are also welcome to come.

Funny English joke 5: Intelligentson

One day, the father asked his eight-year-old son to post the letter, and the son took it. The father remembered that the address and the recipient's name were not written on the envelope.

When his son came back, his father asked him, "Did you throw the letter into the mailbox?"

"Of course."

"Didn't you see that the address and the recipient's name were not written on the envelope?"

"Of course I didn't see what was written on the envelope."

"Then why don't you get it back?"

"I thought you didn't write the address and the recipient because you didn't want me to know who you sent the letter to!"

Clever son

One day, the father asked his eight-year-old son to send a letter. The son has run away with the letter, and the father remembers that the address and the recipient's name are not written on the envelope.

When his son came back, his father asked him, "Did you put the letter in the mailbox?" "Of course." "Didn't you see that there was no address and recipient's name on the envelope?"

"Of course I didn't see what was written on the envelope." "Then why don't you get it back?"

"I thought you didn't write the address and the recipient because you didn't want me to know who you sent the letter to!"

Funny English joke 6: Put your foot in it.

The schoolgirl was sitting there, her feet crossed the aisle, and she was busy chewing gum when the teacher found her. "Mary!" Call the teacher sharply. "Yes, madam?" The student asked, "Take the gum out of your mouth and put your feet in it!" "

Put your foot in it.

A female student was sitting in a seat, chewing gum vigorously in her mouth, but her foot reached into the aisle between the desks and was found by the teacher. "Mary!" The teacher called her severely. "What is it, teacher?" The female student asked. "Take the gum out of your mouth and put your feet in it."

Funny English joke 7: I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed that a man seemed to be asleep and worried that he would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" "

"I didn't fall asleep," the man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed. "

"I know. I just hate to see ladies standing next to me in crowded cars. "

I didn't fall asleep

When a group of women got on the bus, all the seats on the bus were taken. The conductor noticed that a person seemed to be asleep. He was worried that the man would miss his stop, so he nudged him and said, "wake up, sir!" " "

"I didn't fall asleep." The man replied.

"Didn't fall asleep? But your eyes are closed? "

"I know, I just don't want to see a lady standing next to me in a crowded car."

Funny English joke 8: Poor husband.

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to get along with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question and then answered it herself. Then she explained to me why my answer was wrong for half an hour.

Poor husband

"You have no idea how difficult it is to deal with my wife," a man complained to his friend. "She asked me a question, then answered it herself, and then spent half an hour explaining to me why my answer was wrong."

Funny English joke 9: Where is father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful pictures.

"Look," said my brother. "How beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where is the father? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing."

Where's father?

Two brothers are looking at some beautiful oil paintings.

"Look," said my brother, "how beautiful these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger brother, "but in all these paintings, there are only mothers and children. Where did dad go? "

My brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously, he is drawing these pictures."

Funny English joke 10: Does the dog know the proof?

The little boy doesn't like the appearance of barking dogs.

"Never mind," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: barking dogs don't bite? "

"Ah, yes," the little boy replied. "I know this proverb, but does the dog also know this proverb?"

Does the dog know this proverb, too?

A little boy dislikes the way dogs bark very much.

"Never mind," said a gentleman. "Don't be afraid. Do you know the proverb: "Barking dogs don't bite." "

"Oh, I know, but does the dog know?"