Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - There are so many charming feelings in Jiangshan.

There are so many charming feelings in Jiangshan.

There are many beautiful women in this country.

Chinese painting. Fu Baoshi cooperates with Guan Shanyue. 1959 A huge landscape painting for the newly-built Great Hall of the People in Beijing. President Mao Zedong wrote an inscription: The beauty of the whole country is like a cloud. On the picture, the rising sun and magnificent mountains and rivers show the vitality of new China.

The whole poem is as follows:

Look at what the northern countries have shown: a hundred miles of frozen Go; Thousands of miles of snow.

Looking inside and outside the Great Wall, I only feel embarrassed;

Mao Zedong's calligraphy

Mao Zedong's calligraphy

When the river rises and falls, it loses momentum.

The mountains are like dancing silver snakes, and the highlands are like advancing wax elephants, all trying to match the sky in height.

When the weather is fine, look at the sunny market. What a charming sight!

This land is so beautiful that countless heroes bow to their knees.

Cherish Qin Huang Hanwu, slightly lost literary talent;

Tang Zong Song Zu, slightly less coquettish.

Genghis Khan, the hero of the throne, only knows how to draw a bow and shoot arrows.

These characters are gone, a few heroes who can make contributions, look at today's people.

You are so charming that you attract countless blind people to compete.

1, I won't rely on others because I'm fed up with disappointment.

I don't need you. .

I hope that at the last moment, you will put on the most beautiful wedding dress for me.

4. If you miss love, nothing will stay.

There will always be someone to accompany me in my life without you.

Actually, I'm sad, but I'm too proud to tell you.

7. Men fall in love to get married; Women marry for love.

8. Women are only good at makeup, while men are good at camouflage.

9. I won't say anything after you finish.

10, you are so charming that countless blind people compete to bend over.

1 1. Smile and tell others that I am stronger today than yesterday, and I will be the same in the future.

12, miss you and forget yourself; You only remember yourself and forget to think of me.

13, if people do shameless things, it is inevitable to use double shameless to deny them. -Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale

14 Frankly speaking, is there any pinyin or abbreviation of someone important to you in your password? Turn if there is one.

15, expressing love starts with companionship ~

16, miss your voice? Your face.

17, I want to make those who love me proud, those who dislike me regret, those who hate me dissatisfied and those who laugh at me dumbfounded.

18, in addition to love, there is friendship; There are women and men.

19, I swear I'll chop my hands when I surf the Internet again. I found out that I am Guanyin with a thousand hands.

20. Did I kill and set fire to make you love me so much?

Dou's two-part allegorical saying

A Dou's Jiangshan-Free Delivery

Interpretation refers to giving something of value to others for free or meaningless.

First, A Dou Xiehouyu

Adou is the emperor-weak and incompetent.

Explaining that the emperor was in Japan, he warned the little emperor: Don't abandon him because he is weak, and don't vote for him because he is strong. I don't want the little emperor to go in one ear and out the other and abandon the knight for the sake of heat. At the end of the regular season, the Cavaliers came last. And the heat sailed into the finals, and the little emperor was happier. Or ask, "Do you want to take a taxi?" Answer: "I am very happy here, but I don't want to ride." Oh! People's ruthlessness, and this. People sigh when they have poems-chasing the crown and laughing, not thinking about danger. When you are happy in a foreign land and forget your old country, you will know that Zhan Xiao is a mediocrity.

(Liu) A Dou's Jiangshan-free delivery

A Dou's Jiangshan-unable to hold/sit unsteadily

A sinus figure-no ability

Throw a bucket at Zhao Yun-buy off people's hearts

Liu Bei/Zhao Yun Wrestling-Buying People's Hearts

A Dou is just a figurehead official.

Second, about "A Dou who can't afford it", can he really afford it?

Adou, a figure in the Three Kingdoms period, formerly known as Liu Chan, was the son of Liu Bei. Adou is a man who doesn't make progress and only plays all day. Even with the assistance and teaching of a famous minister like Zhuge Liang, it will not help. In the end, Jiangshan will fall into the hands of others, and he will also fall into the eternal laughing stock of "being happy without thinking about Shu". Today, people use Adou, who can't help, to describe some people who have never been able to support their talents.

(A) Dictionary definition

Lame duck; A disappointing person; A cowardly person; A coward. Later generations call things or people with no future development a sinus that can't be helped.

(2) Personal information

Original name: Liu Chan.

Native place: Zhuoxian, Zhuo Jun, Youzhou, now Zhuozhou, Hebei.

Position: Emperor Shu Han (Empress)

Zodiac: pig

Posthumous title: Xi Sigong (Cao Wei, Western Jin Dynasty) and Huai Di (Liu Yuan).

Birth and death: 207-27 1(65 years old)

Family information: father Liu Bei, mother Gan.

Brothers and sisters: Liu Feng, liuyong and Liu Li.

Related figures: Zhao Yun, Zhuge Liang, Mrs. Sun, Jiang Wan, Huang Hao, Qiao Zhou, Wargo, Jiang Wei and Zhang Fei.

Subordinate forces: Shu Han, Cao Wei, Western Jin Dynasty

(3) reasons

After Liu Bei's death, his son Liu Chan succeeded to the throne. Liu Chan's nickname is Dou. He is a stupid and incompetent person. At first, with the help of Zhuge Liang and other talents, the problem was not big. Later, these sages died one after another, and Shu was quickly destroyed by Wei, so it surrendered and was captured.

After he surrendered, he was arranged to live in Luoyang, the capital of Wei State, and was named An Le Gong. On one occasion, Si Mazhao, the general of Wei State, invited him to drink, and the wine was very hot during the dinner. Si Mazhao said: "An Le Gong, you have been away from Shu for a long time, so I specially arranged a dance with the local characteristics of Shu today for you to enjoy!"

This dance made Liu Chan's subordinates feel very sad and miss their hometown more. However, only Liu Chan, An Le Gong, was still smiling without any sad expression. Si Mazhao asked, "Do you still want to go back to your hometown in Xishu?" Liu Chan replied, "There are songs and dances, and there are good wines and drinks. How can I be willing to go back to Xishu! " Because of this, Liu Chan's stupidity and incompetence are well-known in history. Later, people often use "A Dou who can't help it" as a metaphor for people who are weak and can't cheer him up.

(4) Story

After Wargo destroyed Shu Han, the late ruler Liu Chan stayed in Chengdu. When Zhong Hui and Jiang Wei launched a mutiny, Si Mazhao thought that Jiang Wei should not stay in Chengdu, so he sent his confidant Jia Chong to take Liu Chan to Luoyang. Liu Chan was originally an incompetent person. When Zhuge Liang was alive, he was in charge of military and political affairs and dared not make his own decisions. After Zhuge Liang's death, although he was assisted by some civil and military ministers such as Jiang Wan, Fei Yi and Jiang Wei, he was not as cautious as Zhuge Liang was when he was alive. After the death of Jiang Wan and Fei Yi, eunuch Huang Hao gained power and the political situation went from bad to worse.

Shu Han died, Jiang Wei was killed, and all the ministers died. The only officials who accompanied him to Luoyang were He Zheng and Liu Tong. Liu Chan is not sensible. He doesn't know how to deal with people. His every move depends on correct guidance. At ordinary times, Liu Chan didn't take politics seriously at all. By this time, he felt that Zheng Zheng was a loyal person. When Liu Chan arrived in Luoyang, Si Mazhao named him An Le Gong in the name of Emperor Wei Yuan, and sealed his descendants and more than 50 ministers of Shu Han. Si Mazhao did this only to win the hearts of the people and stabilize the rule of Shu and Han. But in Liu Chan's view, this is a great favor.

On one occasion, Si Mazhao held a grand banquet and invited former ministers from Liu Chan and Shu Han to attend. During the banquet, a group of singers were specially invited to perform songs and dances in Sichuan.

Some ministers of Shu Han watched these songs and dances and remembered the pain of national subjugation. They were so sad that they almost cried. Only Liu Chan looked at it with his mouth wide open, just like in his own palace.

Si Mazhao observed his expression. After drinking, he said to Jia Chong, "Liu Chan is heartless. Even if Zhuge Liang were alive today, I'm afraid he wouldn't be able to keep Shu Han, let alone Jiang Wei! "

A few days later, when I met him, I asked, "Do you still miss Shu?"

Happy to answer: "I am very happy here, and I don't miss Shu anymore." (That's how the idiom "I don't think" comes from. )

I'm listening. I think it's ridiculous. When he returned to his mansion, he said, "You shouldn't answer the King of Jin like this."

Liu Chan said, "What do you mean?"

The Western Expedition said, "If the King of Jin asks about you again in the future, you should say with tears: My ancestral grave is in Shu, and I am very sad. I don't want to go there every day. In this way, maybe the king of Jin will let us go back. "

Liu Chan nodded and said, "You're right. I will remember that. " Later, Sima Zhao really asked Liu Chan again, saying, "We treat you well here. Do you still want to be comfortable? "

Liu Chan remembered what Xi Zheng had said, so he recited what Xi Zheng had taught him word for word. He tried to pretend to be sad, but he couldn't squeeze out tears and had to close his eyes.

Gentleman Jiangshan 15 Classic Quotations

1, oath is the most incredible thing in the world, and only practical action is the longest answer! 2. Sue shook her head: At first, I advised Baili to be surprised, saying that as long as there are hills and valleys in her chest, what's the harm in seeing them, and what's the harm in not seeing them? Today, I give you the same words. What does it matter as long as the heart is clean and the body is dirty? -"A lifetime of laughter"

3. Production is a butcher's knife, which makes women scream like butchers-"Laugh for life".

4.★ Don't deny the happiness you once had, whether it was in the past or not. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

There are shameless people in this world. If you are not aboveboard, your enemies will be aboveboard. Be on your guard if you don't want to be calculated. Don't leave the handle in the hands of small people, or it will become a monstrous conspiracy after being wantonly expanded and publicized, which will make you beyond redemption! Nangong Jin said this sentence in a timely manner, with a sigh. -"Fuck off, Emperor, I only rob money."

6. The key is not how many storms a person will experience, but whether she can learn to grow after the storms. -"Fuck off, Emperor, I only rob money."

7. heartless? Hehe, so what if there is, so what if there is no? She has let others know her heart, but does he have a heart? -"A lifetime of laughter"

8, stained with a glimmer of moonlight, but not stained with the slightest secular spirit. As cold as snow, as cold as the moon.

9. Life is often more complicated and exciting than novels, and sometimes even bloodier than novels, because novels are based on the idea of an author after all, and everything has already been doomed! But in life, it is more about change. No matter how clever a person is, he can't expect that God will prepare a bunch of flowers or a pot of dog blood for you in the face of fate! But whatever it is, you must bear it! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

10, King's Landing, you are wrong. You won't be Clivia, you will be born, and you will shine like a phoenix in a bath. Death is also a flower that blooms on the other side of the Yellow River and will never be defeated! -"A lifetime of laughter"

1 1. You will know that there is no absolute fairness and no real right or wrong in this world. Looking at Lushan Mountain from the front and side of peaks and valleys, from far, near, high and low places, Lushan Mountain presents various faces. Because the standing angle is different, the scenery you see is different, that's all! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

12, don't hate the people you loved, and don't blame the people you cared about. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

13, the people are more important, the monarch is lighter, and the country is second. You know, the people are like water, the monarch is like a boat, and water can carry a boat and overturn it! Benevolence and righteousness are the way to govern the country, but in troubled times, benevolence and righteousness cannot be king. For the monarch, when there is a tendency to unify the whole country, the whole world can be envied. If it is a peaceful and prosperous time, what the country needs is any army; In troubled times, what is needed is a king who is ambitious and capable of guarding the city.

Yes! 14, the breeze brushed the face, and the drizzle sprinkled from the canopy and landed gently.

The night is blue and the garden is lonely. -"Laughing for a lifetime" 15, watching the dream ahead, ups and downs in the long river of life. How illusory that dream is, how firm our pursuit is. Never give up your dream, even if you die, you won't regret it! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

16, when you have found yourself wrong, someone even reminds you that no matter how far you have been wrong, you should turn back immediately. Because when the road is wrong, often going backwards is going forward! Otherwise, we will make bigger mistakes and lose miserably! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

17, we can't choose the past. Facing the unbearable past, we not only let ourselves stay in the present painfully, but also greet the future with gratitude. -"Fuck off, Emperor, I only rob money."

18, ★ If there is a hell in this world, I should be accompanied. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

19, elopement refers to a person running away privately-"laughing all his life"

Let go, I'm not interested in indecent laughter! ? I know! He is idle, and his narrow eyes are as deep as darkness. Under a layer of drunken fog, it is obvious that he is actually very clear, but he doesn't see a surname. ? Shit! Know you still don't come out? ? Hearing this, he looked at her pitiful appearance again. He didn't let go, but looked into her eyes and said seriously, I know! Laughing without a word, I am not handsome and my figure is not good! You are not even interested in me, how can you flirt with him! ? Chunyuhuang understands today! If you marry this guy, he will never worry about your disloyalty, not because he trusts you, but because he is too confident in his appearance and figure! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

2 1, the text belongs to others, and what you hold in your hand is your own! If a person is always trapped by rumors and disturbed by misunderstandings, it is impossible for him to stand in front of the world with the highest posture in his life. When you are frustrated, the more difficult it is, the more beautiful it is, and you can't let others see jokes. If you are weak, you will be hurt by people who care about you, and you will erase your will endlessly! -"Fuck off, Emperor, I only rob money."

22. Social experience tells us that even joining in the fun depends on whether it is a good thing or a bad thing. If we watch a lively game, we will have an accident. How unfair! -"Laugh for a lifetime"

23. Lan, do you think that love will be as beautiful as fireworks, but it can only shine for a while?

If love is fireworks, it is the most beautiful moment, so you and I will not wait for the next fireworks to start and the next fireworks to fall. In this way, die quietly in its glorious moment, forever! -"Laugh for a lifetime" 24. Some people in life are destined to be frozen, and they will accompany you for life. And some people are destined to be passers-by and can only disappear in the long river of memory. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

25, this world, black is extremely white! Everyone knows that I am cruel, but I am not. Because I am so cruel, no one dares to challenge the law! As long as your sword splits the light, what does it matter whether you have a sword full of sunshine or a sword covered with blood in your hand? -"Laugh for a lifetime"

You didn't ruin me, but the world ruined me. Heaven and earth are cruel, treat everything as a straw dogs! The law of the jungle is the most normal thing. From now on, no one in this world can bully and humiliate me. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

27. If only I could hold this hand for a lifetime. -"A lifetime of laughter"

28. Life is often like this, only one step away, that is, a distant place and a strange road. Everyone thinks differently, you are testing me, I am guessing you, and no one has taken that step, and then passed by in the vast sea of people and moved towards their own trajectory. -"Laugh for a lifetime"

29, what people want, just want to rely on luck, no effort, only shouting slogans, no action, it is never possible to succeed!

30. Not everyone can see through these three kinds of love, hate and hatred intertwined in life. As long as you are still here, as long as I am still in love, then, in this world, there is no fear of knives and mountains. Eternal love, who picks it up, who leaves it, who forgets the past, who always cares. Looking back at that year, who ordered acacia to plant peach blossoms-"Laugh for a lifetime"