See whose joke is funny

1. After eating today, I found a bench on campus and took a nap. When I woke up, I found a few cents in the rice bowl.

2. The last time I helped a classmate carry his computer, I rented a trolley at Beimen. Then I was riding back from the south gate. Near Nengke Building, a middle-aged man quickly caught up with me on his bicycle and asked, "What kind of junk do you collect?" This made me extremely depressed.

3. When we were doing our graduation projects, a senior in the opposite laboratory took three boys from our grade to process circuit boards. It is said that I went to the Keyi Instrument Factory near the southwest gate with a torn woven bag. At that time, Lanqiying Community was under construction, and there was a sandstorm that day, which turned the brothers into disgrace. When I arrived at the gate of the Keyi Instrument Factory, I was stopped by the guards. They said they were here for processing. The guard said: "Come here, one of you who can write, fill out the guest form!"

4. I just moved to the new campus that day, and I went out to buy a lunch box for everyone. *7 copies, when I entered the gate of the dormitory area, two girls saw me, and then one of them said to the other: "Didn't you say you can't deliver food to people?"

5. Once In front of Shuang'an Shopping Mall, I put my schoolbag on my chest and waited for my classmates. After parking the car, a man said to me, I am from the mall, and then walked away...

6. Send GF home once, I was stopped by the doorman downstairs and told that the garbage was not allowed to be cleaned at night and that I should come back to clean it up in the morning.

7. When I was 16 years old, I went to a public restroom to pee. After paying 20 cents, I went straight to the women’s restroom. The old man collecting the money grabbed me and shouted: “Where are you going, you bastard?” Are you running around?"

8. Three of our classmates were walking on the street in Zhongguancun. A CD seller came over and asked: Do you want a CD? The classmate ignored him and asked another classmate if he wanted the software. The classmates ignored him. He ran up to me again and asked: Do you want a porn video? Damn, it was so shameless, and my classmates laughed wildly. When I go back and look in the mirror, I don’t look like I’ve been watching porn movies too much.

9. Also, when our family first moved here, we were not very familiar with the administrator downstairs. Later, the administrator downstairs once said to my mother: Your hourly workers seem to be very punctual. At that time, I got home from school at 4 o'clock sharp. This misunderstanding was resolved only a month later.

10. That day I was waiting for the bus at Gongzhufen. An uncle came over and said to me, pretending to be very knowledgeable, "Hey, cell phone collector, look at how much I charge. You can't cheat me!" "As he said that, he took out a mobile phone from his coat. I said I didn't want to take it. I was waiting for the bus! The man actually said: "What happened to the mobile phone dealers nowadays? They don't even want such good things!" He was depressed!

11. When I was in college, I didn’t shave once, and then I went to the classroom for self-study. I was stopped at the door and asked, “Uncle, what time is it now?” I was instantly petrified! ! How sad, you are only 20 years old! From now on, I shave every day!

12. When I was in college, I had a red dress. I wore it to go shopping at Carrefour. A man pulled me and asked me: Miss, where do you sell seasoning salt...

13. I saw someone from our school setting up a stall looking for a tutor that weekend. I was about to go over and say hello when his sister came up to me and said, "Uncle, do you want to hire a tutor for your child?" I was so dizzy!

14. On the eve of graduation, I accompanied a friend to the job market to apply for jobs. I saw that the recruitment of a normal college had ended, so I sat at their recruitment table to rest, and came over and asked: "Teacher, what are you looking for?" "Major?" I was stunned at that time. You must know that I am also a graduate:-((((

15. Once I was walking on the road with a classmate. We were both men. A person came over and asked us: "Do you two want a couple's watch? It's 28 yuan a pair." Do we look like gays that much?

16. When I had long hair, I went to a classmate's house to play, and I was beaten by him. Mother praised: This girl is so tall

17. Another time I went to the toilet. When I entered, I saw a man with long hair. We were both surprised: we probably thought we were in the wrong toilet...< /p>

18. When I moved into a new home, I bought a lot of things and ran into my neighbor at the door. He asked me sympathetically, how did I come back in the car with so many things? Kao, I looked like that? Can't afford to take a taxi? I ??told him that I drive myself, and he lamented that being a taxi driver is hard and my waist is not good. Kao, do I look like I have a bad waist? I'm not a taxi driver. He suddenly realized, "Oh, you turn out to be a driver for the boss of your work unit." He said lazily and gave in.

But one day, I bumped into him knocking on my door in the morning and asking me to give him a ride. Since I was basically on my way, I wanted to forget it, but he actually said, "It's a public service anyway."

19. I know I look old, but some conductors go too far. Every time I get on the bus and stand firm, the conductor starts shouting: "Some comrade, give me a seat for this master." I'm only 22 years old... I'm a very hairy brother. One day I forgot to clean up my face and rode out on a broken donkey. I was carrying a large green cloth bag (non-military, pure green) as a crossbody. I was nagged many times before I left the community. People asked if gas stoves, sewers, and security doors would be repaired.

20. I even wore a US military jungle camouflage and went to the bar. MM drank too much. I was waiting at the toilet door. Then a GG came over, asked me to borrow some fire, and then asked me what time it was. Before leaving, he asked me, "What time do you get to work?" I didn't understand, so he emphasized, "Aren't you a security guard here?" Damn it, he has seen security guards wearing original camouflage that costs 2,500 yuan, Roamers that cost 6,000 yuan, and security horses that smoke soft box Chinese? I told her that she was laughing all night long. Although I am not very bookish, I am still a postdoctoral fellow after all

21. I have the same experience. When I go to work, I like to wear a black bag diagonally across my face, and dress casually, with my hair usually a little messy. As a result, when I entered the office building at work in the morning, people kept asking me: "What's the phone number of your express delivery company?"

22. A friend's colleague went to Shanghai for business and went to the home of the director of the Telecommunications Bureau to ask if the director was there. The nanny shouted in Shanghainese: "Director, there are two country people looking for you." Unexpectedly, the colleague understood Shanghainese, so she said helplessly: "We are from Beijing." Then the nanny shouted: " Director, there are two countrymen from Beijing looking for you. "Damn it!" Those two guys earn more than 10,000 yuan a month.

23. One summer evening, some of our brothers were walking and passing by a construction site. There was a brother who was wearing a shabby white vest and slippers. He walked slowly and one of them fell on the ground. At the back, a kind-hearted migrant worker walked over and patted him on the shoulder and said: "Hey, dinner is ready..."