The highest state of kindness: be generous to others, pay a certain amount, and bring a little edge.

I once saw such a sentence on the Internet:

I feel the same way.

If kindness goes too far, there is a lack of opinion;

Excessive humility will make you weak.

There is an old saying: "kindness is measured, and patience is measured."

Kindness is good, and it is also right to be kind to others. However, if goodness loses its scale, it will often bring unnecessary harm to itself.

Read such a joke:

Neither brother's family is particularly rich, but the boss has a kind heart. He always tries his best to help the second child and gives his food to the second child's family every year.

Later, the boss got married, which cost a lot, and it was not good to help the second child after marriage, so this year the boss didn't send meals to the second child again.

The second child vowed to ask the boss, "Why not give food this year?"

The boss said a little guiltily, "Your sister-in-law has a higher admission fee this year. After I sold a lot of food, I bought some new clothes for your sister-in-law and spent a lot of money on the banquet, so ... "

When the second child heard this, he slapped the boss in the face and swore, "You traded my food for your woman?"

The boss suddenly felt burning pain on his face, but his heart was deeply cut and he was bleeding violently. After so many years of unrequited love, he finally became a joke.

This is actually a joke, but it's not just a joke.

In real life, there are many examples of disappointing others' kindness and even taking others' help for granted. Instead of being grateful, they kept asking for it.

As Murphy said:

Sometimes, if your goodwill has no scale and you only know how to meet the needs of the helped, it is not a good thing, but it will lead to disaster.

See such a question on the Zhihu:

A highly praised answer is:

Wang Xiaobo once said:

Indeed, our kindness to the right person, to those who know how to be grateful, will be like the spring breeze, and it will only bring endless regrets to those who push their luck.

After Zhu Zhiwen, a farmer singer, became famous, he became entangled with many relatives who had lost contact, and they all asked him for money.

In nine years, he has lent more than one million yuan, and there is still a drawer full of IOUs at home.

But of these more than one million people, only 20,000 were recovered.

When he came to ask for the bill, others not only refused to pay it back, but also spoke ill of him.

Obviously, Zhu Zhiwen has lent a lot of money to the villagers, but he is still quietly building roads for the village and doing a lot of good things, but his reputation is getting worse and worse, and he has become a "baiwenhang" among the villagers.

Kindly help everyone, but in the end they are dragged down by their own kindness, exhausted physically and mentally, not worth the candle.

As the old saying goes: promote rice, fight rice for revenge.

If you are good without reservation, others will dare to be bad without restraint.

There is a child from a very poor family in my husband's academy. When her course was about to expire, her mother called her husband and said, "Sorry, Miss Liu, it's difficult at home these days. Do you think it is possible to postpone paying tuition for a few days? Don't worry, it will be handed in in a few days. "

My husband also saw that this child studied very hard, was a very sensible and obedient child, and also knew how to be grateful to help other students. From children, we can see what parents are like.

So the husband firmly said to his mother, "She doesn't have to pay tuition in the future. I will teach her for free, and you don't have to worry about tuition anymore. "

Her mother has repeatedly said that she can't accept it and won't reward her in vain. They will feel guilty.

After listening to this, my husband felt that this family deserved his free help and said, "I had such a plan, which was to give free classes to 10 children with relatively difficult families." First of all, I don't want to miss the potential children. Second, I will also do good for our own children. Don't delay. "

Later, the child studied harder, and her mother always sent us some hometown specialties, and also helped us publicize enrollment and brought many students to the academy.

As the saying goes:

Your kindness can affect all malice, but you must give it to the right person to get more surprises.

Freud said:

Your kindness must have a sharp edge, otherwise you will only gain an inch and hurt your kind people.

It is good to be kind to others, but if you are kidnapped by others, you should know how to refuse in time;

It is wisdom to know how to make concessions, but if you are forced again and again, you should know how to say no in time.

Before traveling abroad, Sanmao was repeatedly told by her parents: Be patient when you are away from home.

At first, San Mao did this.

After living in the school dormitory, she not only keeps the house in good order, but also often takes the initiative to help her roommates with their homework.

Over time, roommates began to think that she should be like this, pushing her to make the bed, tidy up and fetch water.

Even Sanmao's wardrobe was occupied by roommates and became their "free wardrobe".

San Mao wrote in the scarecrow's notes:

Endure for a while, not calm, but intensified; To say the least, it is not the vast sky, but the abyss.

Unbearable, she decided to stand up and stop being a "good person" at will, showing her principles and bottom line.

Her car-scrapping, not the goal of continuing, but roommates.

Their attitude towards San Mao has changed strangely. She began to return her used things in time, and even helped her fetch water to buy rice.

As Yu Hua said:

When you are always kind and show your anger, you will let others take care of you.

Kindness with a little edge can better protect yourself from harm.

Confucius said:

A kind heart can make our life better. But in addition, we should also know how to arm this heart with "armor" to avoid innocent harm.

As Emerson said:

I wish you kindness for the rest of your life, but remember to grasp the scale, control the discretion, warm others and protect yourself.

* * * and friends!

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Thank you for your patience!

Fortunately, I met you, so I like you and leave!