Are there any super funny jokes?

Many songs, because of the singer or the song itself, can't hear the lyrics clearly at all, and often listen to the original good lyrics by mistake.

● When I was a child, I listened to Xintianyou: "I bowed my head and walked in the ravine", and I always felt that it was "my head, like a ravine".

● "Wait once in a thousand years, wait once-"Someone heard: "A thousand-year-old female ghost, a female ghost-"

The ending song of Super Variety: "Goodbye, goodbye, meeting in front of the color screen …" sounds like: "Meeting in the mortuary …" Later, it was estimated that the audience's opinions were too great and it was changed to "Meeting in applause".

Remember Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck? The title says, "Ah, the show has started!" " After listening for a long time, I always thought he said, "Ah, wild boar shit!" "

"Jigong" sings: "Where there is injustice, there is no me." Yes, where the ground is uneven, of course there will be a "nest"!

● I didn't understand the phrase "always keep your eyes open" in Descendants of the Dragon at first, but I always heard that it was "forever two years away". I've been wondering why it has to be two years later.

How many good sisters do you have? Contains a sentence "Why does every girl marry a tear?" How should I listen? Is "why does every girl have to marry a human?" !

My high school classmate told me that when he was a child, he listened to "The Red Sun on the Border" as "The Red Sun in Transformers"! He didn't know what the "border area" was at that time, but he remembered it clearly. Every evening, he can see the red sunset in the west of the village. The most terrible thing is that there is a transformer on a highland in the west of their village. At night, I happened to see a red sun on the transformer. So my classmates have been thinking: Why do songwriters know that the transformer in their village is in the west?

In Andy Lau's China Man, "How many dreams have been hidden in five thousand years" sounds like "How many dreams have been hidden in Jacklyn Wu". Strange, maybe they have one. ...

"The most romantic thing I can think of is to grow old with you." Listen, "The most romantic thing I can think of is to sell computers with you ..."

When I was a child, I learned to sing the theme song of "A Smart Rest" with TV (Japanese). When I overheard it, I sang it as "Geji, Geji, Geji, Auntie washed the spittoon ..."

"Learn from Lei Feng and set a good example ... stand firm, and the beans will smell sweet ..." Why do the beans smell sweet when they stand firm? Because beans are patriotic, I have always understood it this way.

● "... Our motherland is a garden, and the flowers in the garden are really bright. The warm sunshine shines on us, and everyone laughs ... "The last two sentences were heard when I was a child," The sunshine in Henan shines on us, and Americans laugh ",which has been suppressed for many years. ...

● When I was a child, I heard someone sing: "We sat by the high urn and listened to my mother's stories about the past ..." It was terrible. I didn't know the lyrics until high school: "... beside the grain pile ..."

Listen to Jordan chan's new album "Hug, Hug". The style has changed and it is very affectionate. Listening all the way down, I suddenly heard Jordan chan sing "Little Beast" frequently. Be careful again. Yes, the whole sentence seems to be "let the world call it a little beast" Isn't it a yuppie? Is there a problem? Just look at the lyrics and you will know: "I can make the whole world laugh!" " "alas!

● There is a song that I still think is "A Group of March 8th Dances". Do you know which one it is-"Forget the samba".

You've heard Jacky Cheung sing "The ending is not the result I want"-"The ending is not the result I want" ... I'm not the one waiting at the window ... "My friends and I listened to it many times and thought" I'm not the one waiting in the toilet ... "I never understood.

● Another time, "... the goose heard my song and the river kissed my face ..." was heard as: "Grandpa listened to my song and the young man kissed my face." Dizzy!

● Later, I heard my roommate sing a single love song: "... love should be more frustrated and braver ..." It is considered as "... love should be braver ..."

● In the theme song of The Condor Heroes in Richie Jen, "Make me sad or drunk …" I always hear "Yang Guo is sad or Yang Guo is drunk …" Hey! Why do you always have a problem with the hero? ! !

Remember the Hometown Cloud written by ChristianRandPhillips-"Come on, ghost, come on ... (Come back, come back)". At first sight, I was really shocked.

I am a classmate from the countryside. When listening to May's sisters, "... you are my sister and you are my baby! After listening for two days, I finally couldn't help but say, "How does this woman sing? Why my sister's and my uncle's? ? "

● When I was in junior high school, a classmate listened to A Zhe's "Love is like a Tide" and asked me doubtfully: "Why did he sing' Promise me, you will never line up in the middle of the night'?"

The first time I listened to Tong Ange's Ye Lian Girl, I heard "... wild donkey, mysterious wild donkey ..." I thought for a long time!

When it comes to unclear articulation, Jay Chou is the first. He hummed: "Little bitch, little bitch, little bitch, little bitch, little bitch …" When I heard this, I sang along. Only when I was scolded by my girlfriend did I know that my brother sang "Jay Chou, Jay Chou, Jay Chou ..." Some people called themselves little bitches?

● Another one, which has nothing to do with lyrics, is an advertisement. Have you seen Sofitel Cecilia Cheung slimming advertisement? Cecilia Cheung walked out gracefully with her waist in her hand, and two beautiful women watched with envy. Beauty Zhang said, "Why not use Sofitel?" I heard, "Why not hold it in your hand?" I think Beauty Zhang thinks his waist is too thin and he is afraid of breaking it, so I told everyone to hold it with their hands and be careful not to break it! It took me a long time to communicate with my friends before I knew the truth. Everybody laughs!

Some people like the dish "spicy vermicelli pot" very much. Once, he went to a restaurant and ordered this dish again. But the waiter told him that the dish was sold out. "Is it really sold out?" He asked in disappointment. "Sir, really sold out. You see, the last one was sold to the gentleman at that table. " The waiter replied. According to the waiter's instructions, the man saw a very decent gentleman sitting next to him. The gentleman's food has been eaten almost, but the "spicy vermicelli pot" is still full. The man thought that a gentleman had wasted delicious food, so he went up to the gentleman and pointed to the "spicy vermicelli pot" and politely asked, "Do you want more, sir?" The gentleman shook his head gracefully. So the man immediately sat down, picked up the spoon and wolfed it down.

After a while, he swallowed half. Suddenly, he found a little mouse lying at the bottom of the casserole with all its hair. In a fit of nausea, the man vomited all the fans he had eaten back into the casserole. When he had a stomachache there, the gentleman looked at him sympathetically and said, "It's disgusting, isn't it?" I'm like this ... "

On this day, the hotel owner is patrolling the hall. A beggar came forward and said, "Can the boss give me a toothpick?" "

The boss gave him one and sent it away. After a while, another beggar came and asked for a toothpick. The boss thought, why do beggars want toothpicks instead of rice now? I also gave him one to send away, not too old, and another beggar came.

The boss said to him, "Are you here to get a toothpick, too?" The beggar said, "A man vomited, and I came late. The two beggars in front ate everything I could, and now there is only soup left.". Can you give me a straw? "

Eldest brother and second child fly, and second child gets airsick and keeps vomiting. A bag is full, so the boss has to get it. When he came back, he found that the whole plane was vomiting. The boss asked the reason, and the second child said, "I think this bag is full, so I had to drink half of it and throw up."

When I was a child, I ate dishonestly. In order to educate me, an old farmer said to me, "Sixty years of hard work. I have no food to eat. I dig out the snot ball and never throw it ... "

go shopping

A man saw a store having a big sale and went in.

"What do you want?" "I want to buy something to eat."

"We have rules, and you must prove that you do."

"Where is such a rule?" "This is the case with goods on sale."

The man has been grinding with the salesman for a long time, but the salesman still refuses to sell it to him. No way, the man had to go home and take it with him before buying food. A few days later, the man went to this shop to buy food.

"Give me two boxes of food." "We have rules, and you must prove that you do."

It was the same shop assistant, and the man dawdled with her for a long time. As a result, he still has to go home and take it to buy food.

A few days later, the man came to the shop with a big cardboard box with a hole and found the salesman.

"What do you want?" "Just put your hand in and you'll know."

The salesman put his hand in: "What is it? Very sticky. "

"I want to buy two rolls of toilet paper."

Drink phlegm

Eldest brother and second brother went to the theater to see the play. On the way, they saw that they were arguing about the development of the plot, so they made a bet.

The boss pointed to a row of spittoons in front of him and said, "The loser should take a sip of what's there."

Unfortunately, the boss lost and took a sip with a frown.

The two went on to bet on the next plot. This time, the second child lost.

I saw the second child pick up the spittoon and swallow fifteen mouthfuls in one gulp.

Surprised and envious, the boss said to the second child, "You are so amazing that you can even drink fifteen mouthfuls!" " "

The second one shook his head. "I don't want to drink. The sputum in that spittoon is too thick. I really can't stop biting! " "

Chocolate

A man and a friend went to visit his grandmother.

While he was talking to his grandmother, his friend began to eat at the coffee table.

Put peanuts in and eat them all.

When they left, his friend said to grandma:

"Thank you for the peanuts."

Grandma responded, "Oh! Hmm! Alas!

Because all my teeth have fallen out, I can only suck out the chocolate. Old, cough. . . .

toilet paper

There was a rich man looking for a servant, and the topic of the interview was to go to the toilet.

The first few came out without washing their hands after going to bed.

So the rich sent them away,

Only one person washed his hands, so the rich man kept him.

But one day, the rich man found that he didn't wash his hands when he came out.

The rich man asked him why.

The servant replied, "I brought toilet paper today ..."