A series of cute jokes.

1, how to keep mosquitoes from biting us?

A: please ask a nanny at the door. (Nanny's blood splashes three feet ...)

Put some oil on your body, step on it and the mosquitoes will slip away.

Put some glue on your body and mosquitoes will stick to it.

2. Why are there no dinosaurs now?

The dinosaur went to make a movie. I see ...

What will the fish do if there is no water in the sea one day?

A: Let the water in the river flow into the sea, and add some salt to turn it into the sea. Understand the difference between seawater and fresh water! )

Tell fish to learn to breathe on land. (Animals evolved from sauce purple ...)

4. What is the function of the bird's tail?

A: You can stamp * * *. (shameless ...);

It's good to open it when dancing.

5. What is a child's face for?

A: My face can be used to wash my face. (bang ...);

Without a face, your tongue, teeth, nose, eyes and mouth will be exposed. "

My face was pinched by my grandparents.

6. Why don't people hatch from eggs?

A: Chickens have sharp mouths, but people don't, so we can't get out of the shell.

Winged animals are born from eggs. There is some truth in this statement. )

My mother carried me out after she died.

7. Why is the child born from the mother's stomach, not from the father's stomach?

A: Dad's stomach is full of beer, and all the children born are drunk.

Dad doesn't have maternity leave, but mom does. (Dad's blood splashes three feet ...)

Dad is a man. If he has children, it will be difficult to have them. (Dad continues to bleed three feet ...)

8. What's the use of a human nose?

Without a nose, you can't smell food. It tastes strange.

Without a nose, nose hair and snot have no place to live. (Hold your head ...)

You can't sell perfume without a nose.

9. What's the use of hair?

I won't be hit by snow in winter.

Give the barber something to do. (The barber's blood splashes three feet ...)

Why does dad shave?

A: It's inconvenient to drink porridge with a long beard.

His face hurts when he grows a beard.

When the beard grows, it will turn into hair.

1 1. Is there any way to make fat people lose weight and thin people gain weight?

A: Thin people fight more, and fat people are the targets. (Fat man's blood splashes three feet ...)

Tell the fat man to drink more water, and his stomach will become very big. When he presses it, he will lose weight. (Fat man continues to spray blood ...)

12. What would your parents do if you killed a rabbit in front of your house?

My mother will take it to the hospital.

My father will drool with joy. (Dad: ...)

13, lovely junior

A beautiful junior asked me: Senior, do you have a girlfriend?

When I was excited, I answered truthfully: no.

Junior picked up her skirt and turned to ask me, senior, do you think it looks good?

My heart beat faster, I nodded wildly and said, beautiful.

Junior said happily: My boyfriend gave it to me!

14, silly people are actually quite cute.

Me: Silly people are actually quite cute.

Friend: I'm cute.

Me: You are stupid and not cute at all.

Friend: Well, I'm leaving. .

Me: Don't go. . .

Friend: Hum, you think I'm cute.

Me: Get out of here.

Friend: Your sister!

15, hungry in the middle of the night, order takeout.

If you are hungry in the middle of the night, order takeout.

Dial it, people are closed, but they still promised to send it to me.

I was very moved and decided to take care of his business, so I ordered more side dishes.

Unexpectedly, the uncle on the phone said coldly, "You can really eat."

Here comes the rice noodle. He said to call early. I asked guiltily:

"Is it troublesome to prepare? Sorry. "

He said, "That's not true. Eating too late is not good for your health. "

Touched me ...

Then he went on to say, "Besides, you still eat so much."

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