Short and classic humorous jokes

When writing code, there is always an object-oriented programming book on the desk, which can be consulted at any time. Dad passed by, took a look and said, "Hum, even the object is not programmed!" " "

2, are a family, why hurt the gas?

In the street, two men are quarreling. "You are an ass." "You are an ass." Pedestrians advised, "We are all a family, so why should we be unkind?"

3. The heat preservation mechanism is different.

Down jacket and mink have different warm-keeping mechanisms. The former is to create a warm environment on the body surface and keep you warm by effectively reducing heat loss; Minks achieve the effect of direct heating by concentrating the energy in other people's eyes.

4. How to protect yourself

A woman asked the master, Master, how can a weak woman protect herself in such a complicated and sinister world? The master said: You remove makeup!

5. Old, weak and sick.

A: "I'm a Gemini, and you?" B: "Special seats for the elderly, the sick and the disabled ..."

6. Mona Lisa's sister

A woman asked a man, "Do I look good?" The man said: You are like Mona Lisa's sister now. The woman said: Really, who is her sister? The man said: Janet Martha.

7. Cesarean section before death

In the political class, I talked about the political problems between China and Japan, and talked about the Japanese samurai committing suicide by caesarean section. The teacher said, "Japanese samurai all died by caesarean section!" " "

8. Mr. Mann or Ms. Mann?

Once I called a customer named Wang, and the switchboard was answered by a MM in a sweet voice. She told me his extension number. I didn't know if the king I was looking for was a man or a woman, so I asked by the way, "Is he a man or a woman?"

9. I'm here for dinner

One of our colleagues is on a business trip, so the dealer invited us to dinner. If you want to pee while eating, the dealer said there is a bathroom opposite. If you go, you can tell the door that we are eating across the street, so it's free. In order to save twenty cents, our colleague went straight ahead and confidently said to the toilet administrator, "I'm here for dinner!" " "

10, Lu Yu Fairy mm

After going back to the dormitory after the evening self-study, Lu Yu followed her all day, always wanting to strike up a conversation, but she didn't have the courage to go forward. Until the fairy mm wanted to walk into the girls' building, she gritted her teeth and stepped forward and asked mm loudly, "Classmate, are you a woman?" Later ... later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

1 1, introduce yourself.

When I first entered school, the whole class introduced themselves. A male student stepped onto the platform: "My name is You Yongzhi, and I'm from Beijing. I love playing chess! " Then I went down. The next one is a girl. The woman shyly stepped onto the platform and introduced herself with trepidation: "I ... My name is Shakuyaku ... I like swimming ..."

12, the wolf is coming! The pigsty is a mess! Mother pig said: "pig, you close the door, pig, you close the window, pig, don't read the text message, you are the most beautiful!" " You seduce the old wolf! "

13, tired from work, waiting in line for promotion, drunk when I agreed to eat, and my lover is not in place yet, so I don't want to wake up in the morning and especially want to sleep at night. It doesn't matter to me. The most unbearable thing is to wish you happiness and charge you money.

14, I was wrong to make you angry yesterday. How about giving you a chance to vent your anger on me now? Take out a hundred-dollar bill, fold it in half and then fold it in half, and then throw it at me:) What animals and plants are like chickens? Three ... two ... one ... time is up, fool, so you can't guess. The answer is trees and horses. Because digital cameras (trees and horses are like chickens)! scold

15,09 work summary and 07 work plan-Problems: delicious. Analysis reason: The wine tastes good. Sum up experience: drinking is good. Rectification measures: drink well. Direction of efforts: drink good wine.

16. Colleagues go to dinner together. One of them came late: waiter, did you see where all our colleagues went? Oh, they are on the second floor. "What floor is the second floor?" "On the second floor. ....

17, if I leave in autumn, I will wait for you in the snow; If the world goes, I will love you in heaven; If I leave, I will let her take care of you. Really, her pig-raising skills are not bad!

18, your rude feelings flashed by, which made me lose myself at once. I am immersed in an unforgettable moment in my life. I can't let you go. I shouted: Stop thief!

19. In the history class, when the teacher reviewed The Rule of Zhenguan, the process asked, "Water can carry a boat, but it can also overturn it?" A student signed back loudly: "You can also cook porridge". The audience laughed their heads off.

20. "Driving a Mercedes-Benz and riding a fine horse is really chic; Traveling around the world with beautiful couples, Wan Li is picturesque! Tell stories in a famous car and return home dressed in gold; Parents are happy, and friends boast that they have Mercedes-Benz! "

2 1, million hours, reach out and ask the sky. I don't know if my salary can go up. Is my dream far away? I want to get rich by speculating in stocks, but I'm afraid I'll lose all my money. Things are so difficult.

22. "Master ACTS, I want to hear your story. Teacher: In retrospect, I punched Nanshan Nursing Home and kicked Beihai Kindergarten. I put it under one meter and stamped my feet in the morgue. Nobody dares to gasp! To you who failed in college: this is a professional course, which contains high credits and good quality. One subject is the best in the past five subjects, and it is easy to fail in one breath. It is better to fail professional subjects! "

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