Need some cold jokes

1. A gecko got lost in front of a securities company when a crocodile just climbed up to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted, "Mom!" " Crocodile is stupefied, immediately burst into tears: "Son, you've just been trading stocks for half a month and you're so thin?" ! "

2. A gentleman was flying for the first time. He was too scared to open his eyes. 15 minutes later, he opened his eyes, looked out of the window and shouted, "Hey, flying so high, people are like ants. ! "

The neighbor said, "That's an ant. The plane has not taken off yet. "

3. A lumberjack applied for a job.

Go to the Woods ahead and see ... see how many trees you can saw in a minute. .....

In a minute. ....

Foreman: Wow ... 20 trees a minute ... amazing ... where did you work before?

Worker: Sahara forest ......

Foreman: No ... I've only heard of the Sahara Desert. ......

Worker: yes ... then I changed my name!

After working in the company, several computers get together to fight the landlord, and the water dispenser also plays. He loses every time, but he still insists on taking part every day. The sofa didn't understand, so she asked the chair, "The water dispenser is lost every day. Why are you still playing so hard? " ? The chairman said, "Are you out of your mind to ask such a question?

There are five eggs in the refrigerator. The first said to the second: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible ~!

The second said to the third: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao ~ ~ It's terrible, it's terrible ~!

The third said to the fourth: Hey ~ Look ~ The fifth egg has Mao Mao. ...

The fifth egg heard it: get out ~! Lao zi is kiwi fruit ~! ! !

6. Xiaoming: "Wow, why is your face so swollen?"

Xiaole: "Alas, I was bitten by a mosquito when I was boating with my father yesterday. . . "

Xiaoming: "So swollen, you must have been stung by it for a long time?"

Xiaole: "As soon as it stopped in my face, it was killed by my father with an oar."

Xiao Ming: "! ! ! "

7. A little tiger came slowly, blushing and asked the little squirrel, "Excuse me, can I eat you?"

The little squirrel thought the question was funny and said, "Is this your first time eating animals?"

The little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, "Yes, mom is not at home."

The little squirrel asked curiously, "What did you eat before?"

"……"

"What? Speak louder, I can't hear you. "

"eat milk!" Say that finish, the little tiger's face is redder.

8. A man passed by a wheat field and found a cow without horns. He asked the farmer, "Why doesn't this cow have horns?"

The farmer said, "Cows have no horns for many reasons. Some are hereditary, some are sick and fall off, and some are lost because of long horns with other cows. This cow has no horns, that's because it is a donkey. "

9. A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdained to say: "I am starving and covet beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... cake."

10. Panda Man wants QJ Panda Girl, and Panda Girl struggles and vows to die. After the failure, Panda Man said angrily, "We are all going extinct!" "