A short and interesting conversation will make you laugh.

1, since I can play QQ, I find my pinyin is getting better and better, and reading has no such effect.

2. There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people, occasionally faking corpses and changing epitaphs from time to time.

At first glance, you are not so good. If you look carefully, you might as well take a quick look.

4, is it a handsome guy, just cut a flat head. Whether it's a beauty or not, you'll know when you take off your makeup.

Sometimes, I'd rather sleep all day than talk to a fool.

6. Don't be handsome in front of me, I'll make you cry rhythmically. .

7. The theme of the exam composition is telling the truth. I hand in my paper, and the composition is only five words, which is true.

8. Actually, during the exam, you can make a hole in the question that you can't do. This scan is the answer of your next person. . .

9. I passed a person countless times, and the clothes were all scratched and there was no spark.

10, almost to Chinese Valentine's Day. How can you be so calm about someone who secretly loves me?

1 1. Why not find a quiet place to count your brain cells?

12, many things are not that I don't care, but that I care.

13, behind every successful Altman, there is a little monster who is beaten silently.

14, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me?

15, summer vacation came and I haven't been back in the morning. .

16, all foxes on the mountain. What do you think of serial killers?

17, about tomorrow, we will know the day after tomorrow; I don't want to know about the day after tomorrow. ...

18, doctor, please give me some regret medicine and a glass of forgetful water.

19, we all want to find a prince riding a white horse, but don't forget that Tang Priest also rides a white horse.

20. School is a place to provide love objects for children.

2 1, the so-called holiday means being scolded at home, going out without money and having a special day.

22. The current efforts are all for the pride that I blew when I was a child.

23. I really want to flip a coin ... but I don't even have a coin!

24. Book me two tickets to heaven. I'm going to find Yue Lao.

25. Don't ask me how to spend this Tanabata Valentine's Day this year. I really want to skip, skip and muddle along.

26, homework, let's break up, I don't think we are really suitable.

27. Growing old together is more than dyeing a hair and knocking out a few teeth.

Funny text messages with big smiles.

1, nonsense will cost money, nonsense will into thin air, nonsense will cost money to regret, nonsense will cost money, nonsense will spend all the money, anyway, a dime will knock you out!

2, the wind lifted your long hair, you look more chic! The waves beat your feet, and you look more innocent! You face the morning glow in the east, just like a spray! It's hard to see that you are a fool if you are not an acquaintance!

I seem to see you jump on me happily and stick your head in my arms. Really! I'm so happy. I was just about to give you a birthday cake! Are you so happy? Yeah, I yelled and wagged my tail.

4. Looking at the cloudless sky in Wan Li, listening to the sound of the stream, the grass around me is swaying gently with the wind. How beautiful nature is! It's a pity that the air is polluted by a fart you just farted!

Looking at your thin body day by day, I feel so uncomfortable that I can't eat and sleep. I beg you, don't lose weight again. If you continue to lose weight like this, people will think that I am feeding you lean meat!

6. Dude, I went to the show yesterday and found an actor who looks exactly like you. I asked the staff: Who is the actor who looks like my buddy? The staff said: that is an orangutan bought from Africa.

7. pig-seeking notice: a purebred white pig was lost. Features: smart, considerate, holding a mobile phone to read short messages, loving pigs, and returning the information to the owner quickly after reading it! Master misses you now!

8, crying silly, happy days are gone? I warned you not to be greedy, but you just wouldn't listen. Now you should remember that pigs will be slaughtered when they reach a certain weight.

9. I heard that a toad jumped out of Taihu Lake today and was run over by a car. I've been worried. I'll text you right away. If you are still alive, please reply to me!

10, I've been meaning to say three words to you these days, but as an ordinary friend, I'm afraid I can't even do this, but I can't help it. I still want to say: borrow some money!

1 1. Thank you for watching flowers with me in spring, sunsets with me in summer, fallen leaves with me in autumn and snow with me in winter. Without you, no matter how beautiful the scenery is, thank you for your glasses!

12, your figure is always so slim, your skill is always so agile, your life is always very leisurely, you visit famous mountains in Sichuan all day, and the food you eat is pure natural and pollution-free green food. Alas, it's good to be a monkey!

13, you are the sun in my heart, but it is raining; You are the moon in my dream, but it is covered by clouds; You are the most beautiful flower in my heart, but it has already bloomed; You are the Chang 'e in the sky, but your face landed first!

14, I miss you and have a warm feeling; Seeing you is a painful expectation; Loving you is my lifelong pursuit; Dreaming of you is my eternal feeling. Actually, beating you is what makes me happy!

15, don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. Fight bravely. There will only be three results: first, you win, you are better than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are even worse than a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

16, Butterfly complains that bees have a big belly and there are so many sweet words in them that they just don't tell me. It's irritating! Bees complain about butterflies, wearing exotic flowers and grasses, and the two antennas on their heads are so long that they just don't send me messages. I'm bored to death!

17, Love Tips, Seven Commandments after a meal: No smoking, No eating fruit immediately, No relaxing, No drinking tea immediately under temptation, No walking, No bathing immediately, No sleeping immediately! Bajie: Do you remember?

18, please stop looking down and turn it off. There is really nothing to see. Come on, do you really want to see it? No regrets? You asked for it yourself You are a pig!

19, after so many years, do you know how hard I have been looking for you? I traveled all over the world just to find a face like yours. This is my business card. Welcome to my plastic surgery hospital at any time! Wrong expert

20. Hey, almost everyone uses a keyboard instead of a pen now. In fact, typing with a keyboard will have a strange thing. If you don't believe me, look at your keyboard. There will be a pig hand on it! Happy April Fool's Day!

2 1, don't think you can settle down by building a city; Don't think that sowing seeds will lead to a bumper harvest; Don't think that the summit is conquest; Don't think that I have forgotten you. At critical times, such as today, you are my first thought.

22. Welcome to the beauty call station. Please press to find local girls, press to find oriental girls, press to find western girls, and press to welcome gays! Today is April Fool's Day!

23. You are as kind as a cat, as loyal as a dog, as lovely as a bird, as knowledgeable as a horse, as brilliant as a butterfly, as hardworking as a bee, and like everything. No wonder everyone calls you an animal.

24. I know I need you very much, and I will carefully keep you in my heart every day, so that you can touch and feel my body at will. I don't think I will leave you for a moment. I love you, boiled water.

25. On that day, you cut a pig with a knife, and the pig fled into a dead end. All I heard was that the pig knelt down and begged for mercy from you: We are born from the same root, so why fry each other!

26. Beggars beg along the street with monkeys. He made the monkey laugh and laugh, let the monkey cry and cry, let the monkey bow and let the monkey read the message.

27. When you participated in the ball game that day, you only scored a volley ball. Before the goalkeeper could react, the goal was scored! We all applaud and cheer for you. You get up and pat your ass and say, damn, the ground is too slippery!

28. The phone rings, which means I miss you. Second, I miss you so much! Three times, I miss you very much! Four tones, I miss you very much; Five tones-demo, it's time to answer the phone!

29. On your way to xishuangbanna tourism, Yunnan, you were besieged by a group of wild boars. All the passengers took out food and money, but the wild boar was unmoved. You took out your only ID card, and the pigs knelt down and cried: Boss, we found you!

30. You are a playboy and often have fun. There can't be hundreds of millions of money at home. You have been abandoned and looking for prey. You need to ask more questions, but you don't change your mind. You are definitely not a good person.

3 1, do your fingers itch? That means I miss your caress; Does your lips itch? That means I miss your kiss; Do you itch? This means that you are dirty. Take a bath!

32, you are really not smart enough, and your nose is like an old fritter; Eyes like red pepper; Eyebrows are like two knives; Walk on both sides; It seems that the crab fainted.

33. Have you started working again? I have told you more than once not to work so hard and pay attention to your health. But you always say meaningfully: If you don't roll a few dung balls when it's hot, what will you eat in winter?

34. In the dark, a tiger threw you down, but why didn't it eat you? Because this tiger is a Muslim and doesn't eat pork!

35. I met you in the street in late autumn. Looking at your lonely back and helpless eyes, I can no longer restrain my inner excitement. I rushed over to grab your hand and said, friend, you stepped in shit.

36. Jianghu knows that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a man but a swordsman. Chivalrous swordsman! Chivalrous swordsman!

37. Look at you, American head, French waist, Indian nose, Hong Kong foot, nobody, no ghost, only one head and two legs. Look at you, grinning at the text message!

38. On a red day and blue sky, farmers rushed into the cinema to watch the third-grade film excitedly, and their angry shouts shook the earth. The village chief came to ask what was going on, and the farmers said that people who read text messages were not on the stars, and we wouldn't give money if we were killed.

39. Are you free tomorrow afternoon? I want to find you. Can you pick me up at the station? However, I'm afraid it's hard for people to recognize it. You let your head explode, with a stick in your right hand and a porcelain bowl in your left. The joint signal is: Come on!

40. In the hot summer, I am happy when I think of you, happy when I see you, happy when I am close to you, and I want to bite you when I hold you in my hand. That feeling is really cool! I love you, Popsicle!

4 1, honey, I'm so sorry. Since we kissed romantically last night, you licked half of the bean sprouts in my mouth. I remember to brush my teeth after dinner!

I saw you in the street. You are with someone. I saw at a glance that he was not a good man. He's been patting your ass behind you. I said to him angrily, stop the donkey driver in front!

43. One of the most typical joking activities on April Fool's Day: throw the wallet tied with thin thread into the street and pull the wire in the dark. Once someone finds a wallet, suddenly drag it away!

44. People are really tired when they are alive! Standing and thinking about sleeping, I have to queue up when I get on the bus. Secret love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, work is particularly tired, robbery is not enough, I have to pay taxes when I earn money, and I have to pay for texting silly pigs.

45. I will pay for your happiness; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I love you the most; I am a professional pig farmer!

46. In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. I was sent to check and found that the shell exploded in the farmland. You stood there in rags, with dark eyes and tearful eyes. You said to me: Is it worth stealing a cabbage with a shell?

47. I miss the days we walked together. Spring is beautiful, birds are singing and flowers are fragrant. Everyone in the village praises you for your beauty and cuteness. The villagers also praised me for being smart and capable, and I came out to release pigs at such a young age.

48. When you are lonely, watermelon may be your best outlet. You can cut, chop, chop, and shout loudly: I kill melons, I kill melons, I kill melons!

49. Many nights, you snuggled up to me tenderly, touched my delicate place with your delicate little hand, and sucked up my precious body fluids before letting go. Alas! This damn mosquito!

50. I don't know when to clean up those ugly and stupid people! Hurry up and pack up and go out to avoid it. You don't have to tell others that I told you, and you don't have to thank me!

5 1, this information is purely harassing information! Warning: If you are still awake, go to sleep. If you just slept, turn over and go back to sleep. If you sleep for a long time, go to the bathroom to sleep. If you really don't want to sleep, just pick up your mobile phone and harass those who want to sleep with me!

When horses and pigs meet tigers, they turn around and run. The pig ran slowly, and the horse shouted, Stupid pig! How can a mobile phone run fast in your hand! Throw it here. Happy April Fool's Day!

53. Because of you, I believe in fate; Because of you, I believe in fate; Maybe all this is predestined by heaven, which brings us together in some way. I really want to say. . . . . . What did I do in my last life?

54. Hello, dear users! Because your mobile phone looks ugly and outdated, it has seriously affected the appearance of the city and hindered the development of communication services. This station decided to send a signal to destroy the mobile phone in minutes!

55. Are you lonely? If so, you should buy a rope and a stick, tie the rope to the stick and wave the stick on the roof when it is windy. When people ask you what you are doing, you should say: I am convulsing.

56, the first radish, the body is like watermelon, the face is like banana, and the acid is like hawthorn. As it grows, it is all sediment. Guess who it is. So it's you, you idiot.

57. I think I have known you for a long time. You are a special, special, special, rare and unusual fool, and you are so cute, hee hee, don't be angry! Happy April Fool's Day!

58. I dreamed of you. You made a dress out of white clouds, borrowed the wings of a bird, put the broom behind your ass, and then the sword flew to me and told me affectionately: Do you know? That's what birdman looks like.

59. When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig!

60. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime. It's really hard to be a man! But you'll be fine. You are right and innocent. I envy you!

6 1, the appearance of stones, sinking fish and falling geese, closing the moon and feeling ashamed of flowers; Yang Guifei, if she just turned her head and smiled, there were a hundred spells, and the powder and paint of six palaces disappeared without a trace; Although you are not as good as them, you can still scare away thieves as long as you give them the glad eye.

62. Wooden furniture, scholars know poetry, people think about money, talents practice, women want figure, geniuses send messages, and fools read text messages.

63. People are really tired when they are alive. They stood trying to sleep. They have to wait in line when they get on the bus. Eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, and working is very tired. Alas, there is a charge for sending messages to dogs. Happy April Fool's Day!

64. I almost forgot what day it is today. If I hadn't thought of you, I wouldn't have noticed. Day after day, today is your good day. You must not forget that today is your holiday. Happy April Fool's Day!

65. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

66. I have known you for so long, and you have always cared about me. I really don't know how to repay you. In the next life, I will pull the grass for you!

In my eyes, you always look carefree, you always eat with relish, and you always sleep soundly. I really envy you, alas! Sometimes I think it's good to be a pig like you!

68. I have a poem that many people in the world know. When a fool reads this poem, he knows it as if he knew it. I wonder if he doesn't know. I knew you were a fool. A fool must be reading this poem when he hears the squeak of his mobile phone.

69. You are standing in the crowd, and your long hair is blown by the gentle wind, like the most beautiful melody in the world, echoing in my heart for a long time. I want to say: your wig is going to fall off. Today is April Fool's Day.

70. There is a tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a longing called longing, and an idiot who will finish reading the message!

7 1, dad holds you waiting for the bus, and people laugh at ugly children. Dad cried. The old man selling bananas patted his father and said, Give the monkey a banana. Poor thing, I'm so hungry.

72. What should I do if I am hungry? Have a hot pot rinse! What if you are thirsty? Go to the seaside! What if I have no money? Find a fool to cheat! What if you have no guts? Practice with bin Laden! What should I do if I miss you? Look at the pigsty!

73. Spring blossoms are your smile; The summer sun is burning, that's your passion; The fruits of autumn are ripe, and this is your harvest. Hey hey! Bear, so you can hibernate safely!

74. If you are awake, you will always be awake; If you fall asleep, go back to sleep. If you take a walk, you should relax; If you take part in the race, do your best. Concentrate on things, have the same goal, persevere and create miracles. Come on, friend!

75. It's a pleasure to miss you. Nice to meet you. In order to love you, I will always do this. This is what I have been doing to keep you in my heart. However, this just happened to lie to you! Ha ha!

76. I quietly blindfolded you, gently put a banana peel under your feet, gently watched you step on it, and smiled at you looking for teeth everywhere! Then a shallow smile: see if you dare to forget me!

77. When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears, you fight, anyway, your flesh and blood is already in your stomach.

78. Boss: People who often write empty checks to fool you; Opponent: someone who has been happy because you are unhappy; Friends: people who often harass you in the middle of the night for no reason; Me: Sorry to bother you!

79. It makes sense to hear that eating garlic can prevent swine flu. Think about it: if you eat garlic, others will think you have a taste and won't come near you, and the swine flu virus can't come near you! Haha, don't forget to pack two cloves of garlic before you go out ~

Meeting you is the beginning of my heart, and falling in love with you is my happy choice; Pursuing you is the starting point of my happiness; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping on the red carpet is my eternal motivation! Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong person!

8 1, the exam is called duck eggs, the bad guys do bad things, the idiots have no brains, they are fired, the bastards curse, and the losers cry. It's an idiot reading the text message.

82. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me-wallet!

83. A swan said to Nagebo, You are so ugly that you want to marry me! Is the elder brother of the treasure defy spirit, said, I'm not bad. Look at that pig, it's uglier than me! The pig who was reading the text message refused to accept it and said, you said yours, so why should I get involved?

84. Unconsciously, you have deep feelings for me. I know very well that you can't bear to leave me at this moment, but if you don't hurry, it will be too late: the dog catcher has already dispatched!

85, 1234567, mom takes you to buy sugar to eat, what sugar, toffee, what milk, milk, what cow, buffalo, what water, clear water, what clear water, frog, what dig, dig your head to make watermelon!

On the journey of life, sometimes you can't see me behind you. It's not that I forgot you, nor did I let you go alone, but that I chose to walk behind you. When you accidentally fall down, I will run up and step on it.

87. Look at the opposite MM, look, look. The short message I sent was wonderful. Please don't pretend to ignore it. Call back, call back, call back, don't be scared by my voice, in fact, I am very kind.

I hope you can cooperate with me to do some great things. We will not worry about eating and drinking, but also travel around the world. I think with your charm, you will earn more than me. Can you promise me? Let's go Begging for food!

89. If the ear itches, it proves that someone misses you; Your eyes itch, which proves that someone wants to see you; Your itchy lips prove that someone wants to kiss you; If you don't feel well. . Stop joking, it's time for a bath!

90. Meeting you is the beginning of my heart. Falling in love with you is my happy choice; Having you is my most precious wealth; Stepping into the red carpet is my eternal motivation. Unfortunately-I sent it to the wrong person.

9 1, this message has three main purposes: one is to contact feelings; The second is to pass the time; Third, I tell you responsibly: it's cold, remember not to wear open-backed pants again.

92. One day, my classmates and I went to the canteen for dinner. Because there were too many people, we decided to pack up and eat, so we squeezed in to order. When a friend wants to wrap bean sprouts, he is called: Auntie, I want to explode my teeth!

93. I understand that every short message sent to you will make you unforgettable! I know, every word I write to you makes you forget all about eating and sleeping! But I want to know, when will you treat me to the meal you owe me?

94. Don't move! Read this message quietly! Look up, look down, don't forget the left and right! Have you finished reading it? Delete it after reading it!

95. In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet; You go to relieve yourself and fall into the toilet; Fighting maggots and shit; No one saved you and sacrificed heroically; Live great and die silent; In memory of you, the toilet is on!

96. I was really scared when I heard that you were trafficked. I'm worried about that man. I'll sell you!

97. Times have really improved. Hair color is increasing, eyes can change color, nails can be encrusted, navel can be perforated, and idiots can read text messages. Hehe, I hope you can keep smiling every day and have a good mood.

98. This message is purely harassing! Warning, go to sleep before you sleep! Turn over and go back to sleep! Get up after a long sleep and go to the bathroom to sleep! I really don't want to sleep. Pick up my mobile phone and harass those who want to sleep with me!

Please call me if you feel bored or empty! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, press 2 to talk about work, press 3 to talk about life, press 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me.

100, love you, love you to death, hire a painter to draw you, draw you on the sheets, and hold you day and night. Hate you, hate you, hate you to death, hire a painter to carve you, carve you on the chopping block and chop you to death!

A big wave of humorous quotations, laughing happily.

1. My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

2. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, nothing is useful.

Give me a boat full of women, and I can kill myself.

4, forcing death is only an instant, shameless is eternal.

5, money, how many people who love each other can't be together; Money makes many people who don't want to love sleep together.

6. The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?

7. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

8. I'm not the kind of person who hits people when they are down. I just closed the well.

9. The success of a person's life depends on the memorial service.

10, the farthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.

1 1, time is like cleavage, as long as you squeeze it, there is always some.

12, I am a civilized person, and all swearing words have been disinfected with saliva.

13, don't envy others for living better than you, they pretend.

14. Cry when you are sad, and laugh when you grow up.

15, when will there be a bright moon? Ask about Sky Wine. The sky says, go away. I'm too busy to talk to you and watch the weather forecast by myself.

16, men always want to be the first man of women, and women always want to be the last woman of men.

Make you laugh. Tell me something interesting.

1, we agreed not to make me cry, but you smoked me with fucking onions.

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple.

I can't miss myself, I can't take care of myself, I can't take care of myself, I can't take my own results, I can't give myself happiness.

The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for comes, followed by the wolf!

5. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

Titanic told me that I would rather eat instant noodles at home than spend that spare money on a romantic cruise.

7. I feel like two pigs, because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

8. Sleep is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it.

9. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

10, we have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I hope she treats gold as dung.

1 1. Besides teeth, there is love.

12, which is gold, will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

13, if anyone bothers me, I will change my avatar to his photo, often online and offline! Curse him

14, I just eat and lose weight every day, and you still say I have no perseverance?

15, if class is a hypnotic, surfing the Internet is a refreshing agent.

16, each of us is a dreamer. When dreams disappear, we will miss home.

17, if a person is not serious, even a headache is partial.

18, keep the egg fixed in the case of considerable egg pain!

19, the function of the school is to do whatever you want and not let you do anything.

20. There are a lot of herbs in the world, so why look for them online? Small quantity and poor quality.

2 1. Men are like Bluetooth. He was in touch when you were there. But as soon as you walk away, he goes to find other peripherals! !

Women are like wi-fi. They can see all the devices they can connect, but they will choose the best one!

22. Women's fears: First, they are afraid of being a sophomore and having a big waist; third, they are afraid of not having pocket money; fourth, they are afraid that their clothes are out of date; fifth, they are afraid that their children will not go home in bars; and finally, they are afraid that their husbands will be too extravagant.

23. Love without trust is like a cell phone without a signal, so you can only play games.

24. Love is like socks. The more unpleasant socks look, the more likely they are to stay with you forever. The more beautiful socks they like, the less socks they often have.

25. When you lose love, you gain experience; When you get love, you will lose yourself.

26. Women want to be men's treasures, and men want to be women's mascots.

27, what is a secret love, that is, like but dare not approach; What is love, that is, there are beautiful women next to you but turn a blind eye; What is lovelorn? It was a face full of tears and a runny nose.

28. If you can't be a bad guy, be a good guy who tickles the bad guy.

29. Your advantage is that it is useless at critical times.

30. Promise Chairman Mao: I will never pinch the flowers of my motherland again. I can pinch flowers and bones.