Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - He steals his wife's mobile phone every day for fear of an accident in marriage, because all luxury cars and mansions are given by his wife. Is he right?
He steals his wife's mobile phone every day for fear of an accident in marriage, because all luxury cars and mansions are given by his wife. Is he right?
At two o'clock in the morning, my wife Li Sisi finally fell asleep. Liu Yu opened her eyes and quietly picked up the mobile phone being charged by her bed.
Because of panic, I always entered the wrong password and finally turned on my mobile phone for the fourth time.
Like a thief, he was nervous and excited, and opened all kinds of software on his mobile phone one by one.
The first is all kinds of social software, followed by Alipay and bank app.
He wants to check one by one to see if there are any men talking to her, if there are any unexplained transfers, or other clues that can prove that she has two minds.
But Li Sisi has too many chat records and bills every day. If you click on each one and feel the meaning, I'm afraid you won't be able to turn it over in a day.
But if you skim it, he is afraid that he will miss something.
So in the past six months, he took advantage of various opportunities that Li Sisi's mobile phone was not in the owner's hand, and secretly rummaged through it, but actually found nothing.
First of all, if something really happened to Li Sisi, she would hide it. You know, she is a strong woman and good at design. Secondly, with his stupidity, it is difficult to grasp the key points from the vast amount of information in just a few minutes.
So for nearly a month, he dragged his tired body and stayed up late. He must wait until his wife falls asleep, and take advantage of the opportunity of human beings entering deep sleep at night to rest assured and concentrate on watching his mobile phone.
But after turning it over and over so many times, I didn't find anything worthy of in-depth study. Occasionally there are one or two colorful jokes, and he is not easy to ask, which shows that he is too narrow-minded. He is a big man.
But he never dared to let his guard down. It is said that excellent men are surrounded by powerful women, and excellent women are surrounded by successful men.
With Li Sisi's current career achievements, she can leave him at any time and join a better man. He can't live without her. What can he do without her in such a big house? What can I do with such a good car and such luxurious clothes?
2
Liu Yuyou's worry is not unreasonable.
Four years ago, he had a successful career and high spirits. His ex-wife went from a company employee with a monthly salary of18,000 yuan to a full-time mother with zero income.
A successful career is actually just renting a small office, registering a company and recruiting two or three employees.
On the surface, he looks like a boss. He can speak very well in a certain circle. He has a car when he travels, and he doesn't have to consider the village in the city when renting a house.
But in fact, I am heavily in debt. Except for various expenses every month, there is not much money left, and I can't fill this bottomless pit.
Career success is a vertical comparison.
He doesn't even have a college diploma. He was born in the countryside. He started as a bricklayer, looking at his face and feeling warm and cold. He can reach this level, not only by his good looks, but also by his wisdom and hard work.
So he doesn't appreciate his ex-wife at all.
She doesn't think he is poor. Why? There is no bride price. What's the matter? He doesn't have to pay rent. Why? Even if she doesn't do all this, with his talent, sooner or later. It's just that her initiative made him have it early.
For example, I met Li Sisi at that time.
It's one of his clients. He is Party A and Li Sisi is Party B. The cooperation between them was very pleasant from the beginning.
Liu Yu is elegant, humble, affable, good at observing words and feelings, and meticulous in everything.
Li Sisi is tall, dignified and elegant, and he is not in a hurry. There is no doubt that he is empty and heartless in his seemingly calm tone.
She also runs her own company, which is much bigger than Liu Yu's.
Their personalities are both rigid and flexible. One is good at negotiation and the other is good at execution. Just like tenons and tenons, once they are closed, they bear a lot of weight and will remain unchanged for ten thousand years.
The first time we cooperated, we felt that it was a long time since we met. Of course, this feeling is not about men and women, but about cooperation.
Yes, Liu Yu didn't even think about cheating at first.
Although he often answered Li Sisi's phone calls or videos later, he still couldn't stop talking, listened to her and gave her comfort and care. After all, she is a woman, and no matter how capable a woman is in her career, it will not affect her emotional needs. He understands.
Sometimes his cash flow is difficult, so Li Sisi turns to him for emergency without saying anything. He never breaks his word. He promised to pay it back in two days. He must have paid it back one day in advance.
three
It was his ex-wife's paranoia and noise that pushed him further and further.
Whether he and Li Sisi slept or not, his ex-wife said that their relationship had hurt her and she wanted him to break up with Li Sisi.
How is that possible? He cooperates with Li Sisi once every two months and earns a lot of money every time. He is willing to give her pure help even if he doesn't make money. Sometimes some projects have to be given away for long-term cooperation.
But my ex-wife fought to the end on this impossible thing.
She argued with him endlessly. He told her to shut up, and she would stop for a while, but she would definitely find another opportunity to change the carrier of a language (for example, from talking with her mouth to sending WeChat) and spread her meaning to his ears again and again. Until he clearly expressed his understanding and listened to her.
Of course, he must not listen to her in this matter. He has nothing to do with Li Sisi, but her side is narrow-minded and unreasonable. If she doesn't help his career, forget it. She's still on fire in the backyard. It annoys me to think about it!
So in those two years, Liu Yuhe's ex-wife had a big fight almost every other month.
At first, he explained patiently. Later, he was annoyed and tired. As long as she mentioned Li Sisi, even if it was just a casual mention, he would immediately drop his face and go on the rampage and scold her.
As a result, the two men began to fight with each other. He also mentioned divorce and said all kinds of cruel words. Finally calmed down in the child's crying.
Then there was the continuing cold war.
At the beginning of the cold war for half a day, as the number of times increased, it became longer and longer, and sometimes I didn't talk for a week. He sleeps in the living room and his ex-wife sleeps in the bedroom with the children.
Except for the first two times, every time after that, my ex-wife took the lead to break the cold war situation.
So he saw through his ex-wife's soft heart and didn't want his children to grow up in a broken family. Even if he mentioned more divorce and said more malicious words, she just cried and scolded a few words.
After that, he was too lazy to talk to her. She likes to make trouble. He should cooperate with Li Sisi. The pattern of little women is as small as sesame and mung beans. Why not learn from Li Sisi?
four
Until that time, his ex-wife called Li Sisi's cell phone, and he couldn't bear it. As soon as Li Sisi had finished telling him what had happened, he immediately scolded his ex-wife.
His ex-wife begged Li Sisi to delete him on the phone, and Li Sisi humiliated her, saying that his ex-wife was an idiot and disturbed her life. It would be great if she didn't call the police.
Liu Yu scolded his ex-wife. Why must our family be involved? What happened to Li Sisi? Are you disturbing others? She was right to scold you. If she doesn't scold you, it proves that we really have an affair!
That day, his ex-wife forced him to break up with Li Sisi. Leave the baby and run out for a day.
In her eyes, nothing is more important than family harmony If your friendship outside hurts each other and affects your family, then you should stop that relationship unconditionally, not that you didn't cheat. This has little to do with cheating. When you get married, you should put your family first.
But in Liu Yu's view, it was entirely her who was looking for trouble. He didn't cheat. What harm will she get? If she doesn't entertain foolish ideas and make trouble with him, can they still quarrel again and again? If we don't quarrel, won't the family be fine?
So he will never meet her unreasonable demands. How is that possible? She can do whatever she wants. The earth doesn't revolve around her alone.
In order to get his ex-wife back to take care of the children as soon as possible that day, he was really afraid that she would commit suicide. It seems that her situation is really bad. He negotiated with Li Sisi, deleted her WeChat, sent screenshots to his ex-wife, and said a few soft words.
Sure enough, the ex-wife who didn't come back a moment ago arrived home in less than ten minutes, and she still came back, which can be seen from her panting state. She wouldn't let go as soon as the child jumped at her.
Liu Yu smiled secretly. She is such a person. As long as you care about her at present, regardless of whether she will relapse in the future, she will forget all the previous pains and concentrate on living her life.
Liu Yu turned to add Li Sisi back and told her to change her WeChat address and mobile phone password. Double insurance, the ex-wife will never find it.
In fact, there is no need for the ex-wife to pursue it to the end. She also knows that he and Li Sisi are just on good terms and won't have sex. It's just that he always puts this relationship in front of her eyes, and she can't help but make trouble when she is stimulated.
Sure enough, my ex-wife hasn't made trouble since then. She must have checked his mobile phone when he couldn't see it, and found that it couldn't be opened. Thinking that he can still do confidential work shows that he still cares about this family, so she doesn't care.
Later, she even changed the state that she couldn't stand not seeing him two days ago and took her children back to her parents' house for nearly half a year.
That half year was Liu Yu's most free and unforgettable time. I can video with my daughter from time to time, but no one can control him. There is a wife in the back and a beautiful woman in front, perfect.
It was not until his ex-wife came back alone that she calmly asked him for a divorce.
He didn't stay. In fact, he was tired of her for a long time and didn't care, otherwise he wouldn't keep mentioning divorce before they quarreled. It's just that she doesn't agree, so he can forget it.
He compensated her as much as possible. After all, he hopes that the children will follow their mother and not worry about food and clothing.
Later, the relationship between Liu Yuhe and Li Sisi naturally developed.
The ex-wife was right. He and Li Sisi appreciate each other. If the ex-wife doesn't care too much about him, she will hold his rope too tightly and make trouble repeatedly. Both of them have faces and skins, and they are afraid of losing face in the circle of friends and dare not expect anything, otherwise they may really become dogs and men.
But that was all in the past. The important thing is that now, he and Li Sisi are playing in harmony and helping each other.
This is his greatest satisfaction. Once upon a time, the goddess who only dared to look far away but dared not play near was held in her arms, and every inch from the outside to the inside was his. Like a dream.
This dream is so beautiful that he added several layers of sweet words and some solemn sense of ceremony to make it come true.
five
Unexpectedly, shortly after marrying Li Sisi, Liu Yu's company suffered a heavy blow, which was related to the safety of people's lives and more than one person.
Liu Yu paid a large sum of money.
He is a man who "drinks today and gets drunk tomorrow" and has always advocated eating, drinking and having fun. I used to enjoy debt in riff-raff, but now I earn more, but my desire and consumption level have also risen several levels. He can't save money, as long as he doesn't owe money.
So, this time, not only the whole company was involved, but also the vitality of Li Sisi Company was hurt by more than half.
It was from then on that Li Sisi showed him his ruthless side.
She no longer coquetry to him, no longer gentle. He often says with a straight face that he is more than a failure.
Said she was wrong. How can a man like him indulge himself and be nice to other women during his marriage with his ex-wife and have a smooth career? He has no self-discipline and can't see his own problems, so it's not surprising that he fell down.
At this moment, Liu Yucai was stunned. It turned out that Li Sisi knew that his relationship with him was beyond the normal range, but that relationship was beneficial to her at that time, and his ex-wife was too weak to turn over any storms. She didn't remind him or stop him. Instead, she happily cooperated with him to bully his ex-wife.
He felt a little pain and initially understood his ex-wife's pain. The pain soon spread from one point to the whole body.
Because later, Li Sisi said, if you dare to treat other women better than me, spend more time and energy on other women than on me, and make your home a hotel, I'll kick you out immediately.
The tone coming out of her mouth is vicious, which is for him; Her nose was humming with contempt and ridicule, apparently to her ex-wife.
Liu Yu felt cold in his back and mixed feelings in his heart.
Li Sisi will never let Liu Yu start a business again, pointing to his forehead and saying, Don't spend all your money, I earned it hard!
She wouldn't let him get his hands on her company either, saying you want me to go bankrupt, too?
Liu Yu had to go to another company to find a class, working from nine to five, working overtime occasionally, listening to the leaders' lectures and smiling.
Without education, wages can't go up. Although he started a company, it was a failure case, and it was not generally miserable, and the company did not dare to give him a heavy responsibility.
He lived such a humble life. I feel wronged in the company and feel wronged when I get home.
Li Sisi never gives him a bad look, either bossing him around or ignoring him.
Of course, her indifference is only for him. She is an angel to others, especially those big customers and partners.
The only comfort is that during the time on the way back and forth to work, I drove a luxury car and wore luxurious clothes.
At least at that time, he was a successful man in the eyes of passers-by and lacked everything. He can also admire people who ride bicycles, electric cars and drive cheap cars without interference.
He thinks of his ex-wife and children more and more frequently.
Isn't his marriage with Li Sisi a copy of his previous marriage with his ex-wife? It's just that the troubles are more advanced now. It's just that the subject of trouble has lost his mind.
No, his ex-wife must have suffered more than he does now. Because my ex-wife has just given birth to a child, she is weak and has to take care of the children and do housework alone, so she has no freedom and no job. Now that he has everything, he doesn't have to do anything.
Thought of here, his heart suddenly pounding, just like a rabbit running across the grass, leaving no trace, but he will always remember the picture, a little sad and disappointed, and want to touch it gently with his hand, but he is afraid to disturb it.
six
Liu Yu thought of his ex-wife and children, but he couldn't show it at all. Let alone convince them to examine their ideas.
Li Sisi is now the Empress Dowager, and he is a careful eunuch.
He only dares to listen to her and dare not raise any objections. He felt that he was losing his right to speak.
Li Sisi often comes back in the middle of the night, and when he gets home, he will talk cheerfully on his mobile phone voice and text for most of the day, just to deal with the interpersonal relationship left over from the day, and then take off makeup and wash before going to bed.
In the meantime, Liu Yu looked at her helplessly and waited intently, for fear of missing her orders or slowing down when she gave them, which would be more than one bargained for. She is very good at mental torture.
After going to bed, Liu Yu had to figure out what Li Sisi meant. If she needs it, she will try her best to satisfy her. If she doesn't need it, don't make any noise and disturb her rest. She is so busy at work during the day, how did these good days come about? Don't forget him.
So, just like when I lived with my ex-wife, I either didn't go home, and Ge You collapsed as soon as I got home. I asked the woman to serve tea, but if she was unhappy, she shook her face and became a shopkeeper of cutting. Forget it! Not in my life.
Even if he is worried that his wife will chat with other men and cheat, he can only hold back his words, or secretly look at her while she is asleep in the middle of the night like this.
He knew that what he was worried about was inevitable. Women always use their beauty to gain the strength of men, thus becoming a lever to incite the world and gain a piece of heaven and earth.
Isn't that how she used his treatment? Let him even give her job for nothing!
Knowing is knowing. He knows nothing.
In order not to lose the beautiful life in front of him, he can only play dumb and turn a blind eye to the prairie above him.
If one day Li Sisi wants a divorce, he will try to keep his marriage.
He won't choose to leave like his ex-wife.
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