Full-text Translation of Biographies of Historical Records and Funny Stories

Confucius said: "The Six Classics have the same function in governing the country.

Rites are used to regulate people's way of life, music is used to promote people's harmony and unity, books are used to describe past deeds and laws, poems are used to express feelings, I Ching is used to spy on the magical changes of everything in the world, and Spring and Autumn is used to understand subtle meanings and measure right and wrong. "

Taishi Gong said, "Isn't it great that the truth in the world is vast and boundless?" If you can talk a little, you can solve a lot of troubles. "

Chunyu Kun is the adopted son-in-law of Qi. He is less than seven feet tall, funny and eloquent. He has been to vassal States many times and has never been humiliated. When Qi Weiwang was in office, he loved to talk in code words, feasted all night, and indulged himself in drinking, and entrusted politics to Doctor Qing.

Civil and military officials indulge in debauchery, countries invade and the country is in danger, in the blink of an eye. The ministers around the king of Qi dare not remonstrate. Chunyu Kun used argot to persuade and satirize Qi Weiwang, saying, "There is a big bird in the capital, which landed in the king's yard. It hasn't flown or screamed for three years. Does the king know what happened to this bird? " Qi Weiwang said: "This bird will fly if it doesn't fly, and it will fly to the sky as soon as it flies;" If you don't scream, you will be surprised. "

So he ordered the chiefs of 72 counties across the country to visit the DPRK, reward one person and kill another; He sent troops to defend the enemy, and the princes were very afraid and returned the occupied land to Qi. Qi maintained its prestige for 36 years. These words are recorded in Tianwan Family.

In the eighth year of Qi Weiwang (37 1), Chu sent troops to invade Qi. The King of Qi sent Chunyu Kun to Zhao for reinforcements, and asked him to take 100 Jin of gold and ten Hummers as gifts. Chunyu Kun laughed face upwards and tore all the straps off his hat. Wang Wei said, "Do you think there are too few gifts?" Chunyu Kun said, "How dare you be too few!"

Wang Wei said, "Then laugh. Do you have anything to say? " Chunyu Kun said: "Today, I came from the east and saw a man praying to Tian Shen by the roadside, holding a pig's trotter and a glass of wine in his hand, praying:' The grain harvested on the highland is full of cages, and the crops harvested on the lowland are full of vehicles; Grain is flourishing and mature, and rice grains are piled up in Man Cang.

I laughed at him because I saw that he sacrificed little, but prayed for too many things. So gifts were added, with one thousand catties, 10 pairs and Xu 100 vehicles. Chunyu Kun left Zhao. The king of Zhao gave him 100 thousand chosen men and 1000 chariots wrapped in leather. Hearing the news, Chu withdrew overnight.

Qi Weiwang was very happy. He arranged wine and food in the harem, summoned Chunyu Kun and asked him to drink. Ask him: "How much can a gentleman drink before he gets drunk?" Chunyu Kun replied, "I can get drunk with a barrel of wine and a stone of wine." Wei Wangdao: "Mr. Wang got drunk after drinking a barrel of wine. How can he drink a stone? " Can you tell me this truth? "

Chunyu Kun said, "Your Majesty gave me a drink to my face, with the marshal standing by and the censor standing behind me. I was so scared that I lowered my head and drank it. I got drunk after a fight. If my parents have distinguished guests coming to my home, I will roll up my sleeves, bow and propose a toast to the guests. Guests reward me with leftover wine from time to time, raise their glasses for entertainment many times, and get drunk before two fights.

If friends make friends, they haven't seen each other suddenly for a long time, tell stories happily, pour out their worries, and get drunk after drinking about five or six fights. As for the party between villages, there is no time limit for men and women to sit together and toast each other. They also play games such as six blogs and pot-throwing, call friends, invite couples and shake hands unscrupulously.

Flirting is not forbidden. There are fallen earrings in the front and lost hairpins in the back. At this time, I am the happiest. I can drink eight glasses of wine, but I'm just a little drunk. It's getting dark and the wine is almost finished. Put the rest of the wine together, everyone sits on their knees, men and women sit at the same table, shoes and clogs are mixed together, and the cups and plates are messy.

The candles in the hall have gone out, so the host kept me and sent the other guests away. The skirt of Lingluo's jacket has been untied and you can smell the fragrance. At this time, I am the happiest in my heart and can drink a stone of wine. So drinking too much wine is easy to cause problems, and sadness will happen to the extreme. Everything is like this. "

This means that nothing can go to extremes, which will lead to decline. Chunyu Kun gently persuaded Qi Weiwang. Wei Wangdao: "Good." So Wang Wei gave up drinking all night, appointed Chunyu Kun as a ceremonial officer, and received vassal guests. The imperial clan of Qi gave a banquet, and Chunyu Kun often accompanied them.

More than one hundred years after Chunyu Kun, Meng Yuan, an old song and dance artist from Chu State, was born. He is eight feet tall and eloquent, and often jokingly exhorts the king of Chu. When he was in Chu Zhuangwang, he had a beloved horse, dressed it in gorgeous embroidered clothes, raised it in a magnificent house, slept in a bed without curtains, and fed it with candied dates.

The horse died of obesity. King Zhuang sent a minister to hold a funeral for the horse and buried the dead horse in a coffin according to the doctor's etiquette. The left and right ministers argued endlessly about this matter and thought that this would not work. King Zhuang ordered, "Whoever dares to remonstrate and bury horses again will be sentenced to death." Hearing this, Youmeng went into the temple gate and cried.

King Zhuang was surprised and asked him why he was crying. You Meng said: "The horse is the favorite of the King. It is unkind for such a powerful country as Chu to be buried with the doctor's etiquette. Please bury it with your etiquette. " King Zhuang: "Is my fault so bad?"

So the king of Zhuang sent someone to hand over the horse to the official in charge of the palace meals, so that the whole world would not hear about it for a long time. ?

Sun Shuai, the prime minister of Chu, knew that Youmeng was a wise man and treated him well. Before he died, Sun Shuai told his son, "You must be very poor after I die. At that time, you visited Youmeng and said,' I am the son of Sun Shuai.' "A few years later, Sun Shuaio's son was very poor and made a living by selling firewood.

Once I met You Meng on the road, I said to You Meng, "I am the son of Sun Shuai. Before my father died, he told me to dream when I was poor. " You dream: "Don't go far." So he immediately sewed Sun Shuaio's clothes and hat and put them on, imitating Sun Shuaio's behavior, voice and smile.

After more than a year, the imitation looks like Sun Shuaio, and even the officials around Chu Zhuangwang can't tell. Chu Zhuangwang set a banquet, and Youmeng came forward to propose a toast to King Zhuang. King Zhuang was surprised, thinking that Sun Shuai had come back from the dead and asked him to be Chu Xiang. You Meng said, "Please allow me to go back and discuss this matter with my wife, and then come back to be Chu Xiang in three days."

King Zhuang promised him. Three days later, Youmeng came to see King Zhuang again. King Zhuang asked, "What did your wife say?" You Meng said, "My wife said never to be Chu Xiang. Chu Xiang is not worth doing. As Sun Shuai did, the king of Chu was able to dominate the country. Now that he is dead, his son has no place to stand, and he is so poor that he lives by collecting firewood every day.

If you want to be like Sun Shuaio, you might as well commit suicide. "Then he sang," It's hard to farm and get food in Shan Ye. Being an official abroad is insatiable, despicable, rich and shameless. Although he was rich after his death, he was afraid of taking bribes, bending the law, doing illegal things, committing big crimes, harming himself and destroying his family.

What do corrupt officials do? I want to be an honest official, law-abiding, loyal to my duties, and dare not do anything illegal until I die. Alas, what can an honest official do? Just like Chu Shuai, he insisted on being honest with each other all his life, but now his wife and children are so poor that they can only make a living by collecting firewood. Honest officials are really not worth doing! "

Therefore, King Zhuang apologized to Youmeng, immediately summoned Sun Shuai's son, and gave him Beiqiu City of 400 households as a sacrifice to Sun Shuai. Since then, ten years have not been broken. More than 200 years after the dream, Qin had an excellent geisha, who was very short.

He is good at telling jokes, but they are all true. At the time of Qin Shihuang, there was a banquet in the palace and it was raining. The guards standing guard on the steps of the temple were caught in the rain and caught cold. Yo-yo saw them and felt very sorry for them. He said to them, "Do you want to have a rest?" The guards all said, "I hope so." You said, "If I call you, you must promise me quickly."

After a while, the palace toasted Qin Shihuang and shouted long live. Youyou approached the railing and shouted, "Guard!" The guard replied, "Yes." You said, "Although you are tall, what good is it? Fortunately, I stood in the open air in the rain. Although I am short, I am fortunate to rest here. "

Therefore, Qin Shihuang allowed half of the guards to be on duty and take turns to take over. Qin Shihuang had planned to expand the hunting area, from Hanguguan in the east to Yongxian and Chencang in the west. Youyou said, "Good. Keep more animals inside, the enemy will invade from the east, and it is enough for elk to resist with horns. "

Hearing this, Qin Shihuang stopped the plan to expand the hunting grounds. After Qin Ershi acceded to the throne, he wanted to paint the city walls. Youyou said, "Good. Even if the emperor doesn't speak, I will ask you to do so. Although painting the city wall has brought sorrow and cost to the people, it is beautiful! The walls are beautifully painted, and the enemy can't climb them when they come.

To do this, painting is easy, but it is difficult to find a big house, put the painted wall in it and dry it in the shade. "So the second emperor cancelled the plan with a smile. Soon after, Emperor II was killed, and Youyou surrendered to the Han Dynasty and died a few years later.

Taishi Gong said: Chunyu Kun laughed and laughed with him. Youmeng shook his head and sang, and those who mainly use firewood were rewarded. You Fang shouted at the railing, so the guards under the order were able to halve their duty and take turns to rest. Aren't these great and commendable!

Original text:

Confucius said, "Six arts are also used to cure one. Ceremony is to save people, music is to make peace, books are things, poetry is to express aspirations, yi is to deify, and spring and autumn is morality. " Taishi Gong said, "Wouldn't it be great to restore Heaven? Conversation can also resolve disputes. "

Chunyu Kun, the son-in-law of Qi. He is less than seven feet long, funny and argumentative, and has been a prince for several times. When Qi Weiwang lived in seclusion, he liked to drink all night, but he indulged in it and appointed a government official. Hundreds of officials are in chaos, princes invade, and the country is in danger. It's the end of the world, and I dare not remonstrate.

Chunyu Kun said, "The state-owned big bird will stop in Wang Ting. After three years, it will be quiet. What does the king know about this bird? " Wang said, "This bird will fly without flying, and it will soar into the sky; It will be a blockbuster if you don't sing. " As a result, 72 county magistrates, one was rewarded and the other was punished, and the soldiers rushed out. The princes were frightened and invaded the land. 36 years of prestige. Language in Tianwan Family.

Wang Wei eight years, chu sent his troops into qi. The King of Qi sent Zhao, the messenger of Chunyu Kun, with one hundred catties of gold and ten chariots and horses to ask for reinforcements. Chunyu Kun laughing face upwards, crown tassel cable. The king said, "Almost a gentleman?" He said, "How dare you!" The king said, "What's the point of laughing?" Kun said, "Today, when I came from the east, I saw a field beside the road, holding a dolphin's hoof and drinking an altar of wine.

I wish you:' the countryside is overgrown with weeds, the cars are full of crimes, the grain is abundant, and the house is full of food.' I smiled when I saw that the people I held were narrow-minded and the people I wanted were extravagant. "So Qi Weiwang is rich in gold, with ten pairs of white jade and one hundred chariots and horses. He resigned and went to Zhao. The prince of Zhao and his chosen men numbered 100,000. They rode thousands of chariots. When Chu heard about it, he left with his army in the evening.

Wang Wei said, buy wine harem, called kun give wine. Q: "Can you get drunk by drinking geometry? Yes, I said, "I'm drunk in a bucket, and I'm drunk in a stone." Wang Wei said, "Sir, if you get drunk after drinking a barrel of wine, the devil can drink a stone! Can you smell it? "Kun said:" Before giving the wine king, the law enforcement was in the side, and the imperial envoys were behind. Kun was so scared that he fell down and drank wine, but he got drunk after a fight.

If there is a strict guest, he will bow down and wait for the wine. He will be given Li Yu when he is present, and he will be proud of his longevity. After counting, I won't be drunk after playing twice. Friends make friends, don't meet for a long time, meet, chat happily, talk privately, and get drunk after drinking five or six fights. If it is a national conference, men and women sit together, miss drinking, throw pots at six blogs and shake hands.

There is an autumn in front and a hairpin in the back. Stealing this will get you drunk. At dusk, in the bar, everyone got together and sat down with their knees in their arms. Men and women sat at the same table, wobbling, the cups and plates were messy, the candles went out, the host stayed to see the guests off, and Luo Jin untied them. I heard some news. At this time, I am happiest and can drink a stone. Therefore, the wine is extremely chaotic, and it is extremely sad; Everything is fine. "

Words cannot be extreme, and extremes will decline. Protest with irony. King Qi said, "Good." Drinking all night, taking Kun as the vassal and guest. Imperial clan buys wine, drinks while tasting.

More than a hundred years later, Chu had an excellent Meng.

You Meng, so Chu is happy. He is eight feet long, often arguing, often laughing and making one-liners When he was in Chu Zhuangwang, he liked horses, wore embroidery, put them under a luxurious house, exposed his bed on a mat, and spat out preserved dates. The horse died of illness and fat, which made the ministers lose and wanted to be buried with the coffin doctor.

I think it is impossible to argue about this matter. The king ordered, "Anyone who dares to remonstrate with a horse is extremely guilty." When I heard the dream, I cried when I entered the temple gate. Wang was surprised and asked why. Youmeng said, "Horses are loved by kings. With the grandeur of Chu, I can't expect anything, but I should bury it with the gift of a doctor. Please bury it with a gentleman's ceremony. "

The king said, "What?" He said: "I ask you to carve jade as a coffin, write a script as a coffin, write a maple leaf jade chapter as a title, and send a pawn to wear a coffin." The old and the weak came first, Zhao Qi accompanied, and Han Wei and Wei followed. The temple was too fast to eat for thousands of households. When the ministers heard it, they all knew that the king was a bitch and your horse was expensive. " The king said, "I am too late." What can you do? "

You Meng said, "Please bury your majesty's six animals. Take the stove as the coffin, the bronze calendar as the coffin, the ginger and jujube as the coffin, the magnolia as the recommendation, the grain and rice as the sacrifice, the clothes as the fire, and bury it in the belly. " Therefore, Wang Nai made the horse an official, and his name shocked the world for a long time.

Sun Shuai 'ao, Chu Xiang, knows his talents and treats them. If you are sick and die, it is his son's: "If I die, you will be poor. If I go to see the dream, I will be the son of Sun Shuai. " After living for several years, my son was poor, with a negative salary, and met excellent people. He said, "I, Sun Shuaio, also. When my father died, I was poor and went to see a dream. " You Meng said: If there is no distance. "

That is, to dress up Sun Shuai 'ao and talk about words. Years old, like Sun Shuaio, the king of Chu is inseparable from his left and right. Zhuang Wang buys wine, and you can live before Meng. King Zhuang was frightened and thought that Sun Shuai was alive again, so he wanted to meet each other. You Meng said, "Please give it to that woman. Let's get married in three days. " Zhuang Wang Xu Zhi. Three days later, Youmeng came back. The king said, "What did a woman say?"

Meng said, "A woman's words are cautious and inaction, and Chu's phase is insufficient. For example, when Sun Shuai became the prime minister of Chu, he ruled Chu faithfully, so that the king of Chu could dominate. He died today, and his son has no place to stand, so poor that he has to support himself with a negative salary. It is better to commit suicide than to be like Sun Shuaio. " Because of the song: "Because I live in the mountains and farm, it is difficult to get food. Those who have been promoted to official positions, those who are poor and contemptible, and those who have more money do not consider shame.

Dead, rich at home, afraid of being perverted by the law. You committed rape and your family was destroyed. Corrupt officials can be safe! Read the history of honesty, obey the law and dare not do anything wrong. Honest officials can be safe! Chu Sun Shuai, die honestly, Jin Fang's wife is too poor to have enough to eat! "

So King Xie Youmeng of Zhuang called Sun Shuai's son and sealed 400 bedrooms and mounds for his sacrifice. The last ten generations are infinite. This knowledge can be said.

The superior is the master of Qin, and the dwarf is also. Kindness is a joke, but it is suitable for the road. When Qin Shihuang became the first emperor, it rained when buying wine, and suitors were all cold. When you saw it, you cried and said, "Do you want to have a rest?" All the worshippers said, "Fortunately." Youyou said, "I'll call you and you promise me." If you live for a long time, the temple will live longer.

The traveler came to the threshold and shouted, "Dear Lang!" Lang said, "Promise." You said, "You are long, but what's the use? You are lucky to stand in the rain. Although I am short, I am lucky to retire. " Therefore, the first emperor made his servants half a generation.

The first emperor tried to talk about Dayuan, from Hanguguan in the east to Yong and Chencang in the west. You said, "Good. There are many animals and beasts in it. Kou comes from the East, which makes it enough for elk to touch. " The first emperor stopped by reason.

Second, he wants to draw his city. You said, "Good. Although the Lord is silent, I will invite him. Lacquer city is a good thing for ordinary people. Lacquer city swings, but Kolai can't get on. It's that you have to do it, it's easy to draw ears, but it's difficult to take care of shady rooms. " So the second laugh has its reasons. Born in nothing, killed twice, the superior returned to Han, and died in a few years.

Tai Shigong said: Chunyu Kun laughs at heaven, while Qi Weiwang runs rampant. Deep dreams shake their heads and sing, and those who are paid negatively are sealed. When you stand on the threshold, you will be able to make half a change. Isn't it great, too

Extended data:

Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio is a classical Chinese article written by Sima Qian, a historian of the Western Han Dynasty, which is included in Historical Records. This article is a biography of funny people. The main purpose of this article is to praise Chunyu Kun, You Meng and You Fang, funny people's valuable spirit of "not being secular and snobbish" and their extraordinary satirical ability of "solving disputes by talking about trivial matters".

From Historical Records (volume 126, biography 66). This is a biography dedicated to interesting people. Funny means that the language is fluent, the words are contradictory, the thinking is quick, and there is no meaning of hindering difficulties. Later generations took it as humor. "Preface to Taishi Gong" said: "Not secular, not snobbish, not stagnant, not harmful, use Tao.

Shoot "Funny Biography". The main purpose of this article is to praise Chunyu Kun, You Meng and You Fang, funny people's valuable spirit of "not being secular and snobbish" and their extraordinary satirical ability of "solving disputes by talking about trivial matters".

Although they are from humble origins, they are witty and clever, eloquent, good at reasoning and metaphor, observing the situation and taking metaphors, and using irony, so their words and deeds have played an important role in "six arts to govern one"

References:

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