What should I do after the divorce?

? Let's talk about the current situation first.

in October p>216, I was three and a half years old. After the cold war lasted for half a year, he hurt me in front of the children and the nanny. I called the police. He took a few things (most of the expensive ones have been moved away one after another), ran to the kitchen, took the wok and soup pot and slammed out the door. Before leaving, he said maliciously, I will never come back! Don't ask me for a penny!

I left my fingers red and swollen and bleeding, three ignorant children, the eldest is over 3 years old and the youngest is 6 months old. Two nannies, in a rented house with 1 days to go. I gave birth to a child for half a year, and I haven't got a job yet. The cash on all my cards is less than 3,. The mortgage is nearly 4 thousand every month.

A new house is only paved with floor tiles. No furniture, no appliances.

and he, with his safe, more than 1 companies and all the money, left smartly.

? I recorded this period as the official start of separation.

these days are hard and vague to recall. My parents came to help me from my parents, financially and psychologically. I made up most of the furniture in the house in the second-hand market, went to the building materials market countless times, made my own nails, steel pipes and installed the hardware in the bathroom and kitchen. Buy lamps, order curtains and move.

I have never experienced such an embarrassing day. However, when I got up in the middle of the night to nurse my third child, I looked at Nuoda's house filled with furniture filled by myself. I was proud and full of sense of accomplishment.

I once dreamed of finally ending my exile and moving into our home with him and the children. However, I finally didn't make it to this day.

Actually, he officially moved out on October 2nd, and he regretted it in less than a week. He expressed his regrets, apologies, children and deep feelings for me by email. He wants to get back together. He has always been a man with a high IQ and great eloquence.

I know his capriciousness, and I didn't reply in a word at first.

。 He wants to get back together, and children or feelings are by no means the biggest reason. As he once yelled at my mother, men are different from women. I don't care about children. I can care! Not for four reasons. First, he is a selfish and suspicious person. Marriage is just a convenient and stable residence for him, and his wife is just a means of production for future generations to take care of him. I'm barely qualified, and I still have three children. Second, he is afraid of trouble. At present, apart from his sex friends, there is no suitable marriage partner, so he has never visited love, got married and had children. People who are nearly 4 are afraid of trouble. Third, divorce, distribution of property, he did not give up. Fourth, he lived in another suite after separation, and the remote facilities were not good, so it was not easy to eat and travel. He urgently needs to go home and have someone to take care of his life.

What a cool thin he is. Why did I fall in love with him crazily and out of control? I simply can't forgive myself for making a divorce decision even though I am determined to separate. Whenever the courier presses the entrance guard, the son yells that it's dad! Dad! I felt sad for a while.

Although the living expenses for October were half a month late, he still called. Later, he will come to see the children, and I only ask not to go into the house outside. Every time he comes to play with the children for half an hour and an hour, he goes back at dinner time. The mail continues. At that time, looking at the child and his happy smiling face, how could I not hesitate? Woman, it is so weak, I really hate my weakness!

from December new year to early may 217. We go over and over again. We tried many ways. See a psychiatrist, communicate deeply, make a quarrel strategy, travel, I believe that he really wants to start over these days, but a person's nature will not change easily. And our historical contradictions are too complicated (concealing marriage history, cheating, violence, transferring property, countless lies. . ), everywhere is taboo, and finally in mid-May, the last layer of fig leaf was torn and completely fell out.

in June, he filed for divorce with Haidian court. I don't know how he succeeded in filing a case, because the child is a foreign birth certificate, and my lawyer said that it must be certified by the embassy and translated before filing a case. I asked the judge for details, but the judge said he only had two children, and he didn't say it was about the foreign birth certificate.)

In August, today, he forged the fact that his sister-in-law borrowed money from him and filed a lawsuit in Tongzhou court in his sister-in-law's name.

Not only did he transfer all his property, but he didn't want to give me any money. Even two houses that could not be transferred wanted to be taken away by false borrowing.

Since May, he hasn't paid a penny, including the mortgage of the house where he lives, including the kindergarten fees for two children. He hid tens of millions of cash, leaving three children behind, regardless.

In my present life, I go to work every day. It's very hard to go to work. I go back and forth for 4 hours on the road, go home at 7: 3, play with my children, bathe and brush my teeth, tell stories before going to bed, and I won't be free until 9: 3. Wash and brush, and then recite 3 words for 2 hours, which will reach 12 o'clock, and I will soon fall asleep. I also sued him in America. But foreign lawsuits are lengthy and costly, and I don't know how long my family and I can last. There are two lawyers in China, and they have no clear judgment on property division and children. It is estimated that it will take 1-2 years or even longer. More than 5, yuan a month, 3 US dollars/hour in foreign lawyers' fees, tuition fees for two private kindergartens, more than 1, yuan for two nannies, and endless chores for three young children every day. Sometimes I feel too stressed to sleep, so I just walk around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. However, every night, when I see the child pouncing on my mother's face, everything seems to be bright again.

I hate him sometimes, and I hate him for ruining my family and my children's family. Sometimes I feel that I don't hate it. After all, there have been moments when I was happy. Even if it was a false play for him, it was really happy for me. There are three lively, lovely and smart babies. I shouldn't hate him. Sometimes I am very disappointed, thinking about whether I am too stubborn and too scholarly, as most marriages in the world are. . .

I first met him (instead of S) in 212. We are both returnees.

I am cheerful, talkative, and have many friends. Because of the tradition of family education, although I have stayed in romantic France for 4 years, met many wonderful people, seen many crazy things and walked a lot, I still stick to the bottom line and still look forward to the love of knowing each other.

after returning to China, in the financial industry, this industry is gorgeous and impetuous, seeing more men and women who want to watch cars, and women show off famous brands. I have always disliked impetuous and talkative men, and I feel that those who are strong inside must be restrained and taciturn. There are so many temptations in the world. Without a strong heart, it will only degenerate.

when he appeared, he was ugly, looked honest and quiet, smiled with white teeth, ordinary T-shirt shorts and a little old shoes. No watch, no car. He is a standard science and engineering man, and graduated with a Ph.D. in cs. Just returned to China to start a business. He talked to me about his university, that he had been a young man who had an absurd car splurge, about the bad habits of the China system, about his ideals, and about his views on the industry. I saw the spark in his eyes.

I still remember the moment when I fell in love with him. We walked through the gate of a construction site on Guanghua Road. He was telling me about the impetuousness of domestic employees. He told me that one of his roommates, who graduated from Tsinghua, disassembled the mainframe, sealed the box and turned it on, and it worked normally. Suddenly, he found that there was an extra screw. Then Tsinghua's roommate was not in a hurry and was not annoyed. He re-opened the box and took two hours to install it. I listened to his earnest story and looked up at him. The light from the construction site shone on his face, spreading a halo, and my heart suddenly jumped. I know I have a crush on him. In this impetuous society, I have always wanted to find someone who can meditate.

even in retrospect, he did have many advantages. For example, being smart and having ideals. However, I neglected how a wise man can hide and disguise his shortcomings; An old hand, how keen he is to find out each other's preferences and then quickly fall in love with them. Later, I learned that at that time, in his eyes, I was so naive that I was almost stupid < P > I don't know if these repetitions are the * * * nature of all divorced women. I just want to know how long it will take to get out of this relationship completely. How terrible it is to dig out a person who once loved me deeply and was once the most important person in my life, even breaking up in such a shameful and life-and-death way. I dare not immerse myself.

Yesterday, I saw the news that He Jie said on the program that he would never get married again, and the pain that I deliberately avoided suddenly came to my face. A wrong relationship will take away a woman's backbone. And I, the mother of three children, God gave me this experience, tested me and gave me a chance to regenerate the furnace.

He once viciously called me "I don't know how to advance and retreat", regardless of the fact that my child was going to ruin my marriage, saying that my child wanted a father. I told him that my child didn't need a prostitute who cheated and went around seeking marriage and whoring as an unmarried man as a father, nor should he grow up in a violent environment where his father beat his mother and was full of lies. If I fight a custody lawsuit in America, I want full custody. I don't want him to appear in my world with my children again.

I don't know if my children will blame me in the future. If I can't get custody of all my children, he will take one away, because of his ability to reverse black and white and distort facts. So I want to record this experience truly. I hope, my baby, my mother will make every effort to win custody of all of you. But if any of you live with your father, you should know that it is the biggest pain in your mother's heart, and each of you is my flesh and blood, and we will get familiar with it quickly. He told me that he was four years older than me, and he had been in love twice. His ex-girlfriend Tsinghua graduated and was an American classmate. She was beautiful and grumpy, and she never got along. I have just returned to China for less than a year, and I am in flawless love. In the view of marriage, looks are not important, the key is gentleness, good character and unity of mind.

at any time, his response is decent and flawless. At that time, I only thought that he was excellent and steady, which was different from the boys I used to know. Those green boys, who are not good at words, or nervous, or diligent, are not smooth enough. At that time, where can I think about these green or urgent, but they may be the original expressions that I don't hide in the face of girls I like. And his so-called excellent and steady, flawless, is indeed the experience of deceiving countless people, and it is a careful disguise after many experiences.

I really lack real love experience and know too few people.

he rented a 2-bedroom apartment by himself. I just bought a small house with the help of my parents, with a monthly payment of 5 yuan. The house has a lease, and it will take four months for the tenant to leave. It happened that the rented house was due at this time and the landlord had to close the house for sale. Under his conscious push, I moved to another room to live with him.

everything after that is like all the cliches.

during that time, it was our best time to think about it. I worship him, love him, and give priority to him in everything; He is fresh to me, and my simplicity has no defense and full trust, which makes him feel a little soft inside. Every day we have dinner together, leave a note, I wash clothes, and he is passing clothes by, smiling and looking at me gently, and I will dry them. . We never quarrel, and our faces never turn red. I even held an article saying that a person who doesn't lose his temper in front of you is an unreal person. Show him and tease him. Is it true that we are too good to be true? Why don't we ever quarrel? .

by the way, a week after we were together, he suddenly told me that he lied about his age. He is six years older than me, but in fact, his real age is four years older than me, and his parents filled in the wrong account when they reported it.

It was very unpleasant at that time, but he made up as soon as he apologized. But at that time, I still totally loved him, trusted him, and lied. There was no truth in him. There was no wrong account, and he was not four years older than me or six years old. He is eight years older than me. People who are eight years older than me don't seem to have too special quirks and shortcomings. How could they have never been married at that time? .

yes, our acquaintance was a lie from the beginning, and it was a lie from beginning to end.

I once asked him, will feelings based on lies and deception have a good ending?

I thought I could change something through hard work. As it turns out, choice is always more important than hard work. I wrote from 4 o'clock to 7 o'clock in one breath. Spend time with the children. I have to contact my lawyer tomorrow. After he refreshed the bottom line again and again, I thought, what would he look like if there was no universal moral public opinion binding force and no legal binding force in the world?

Marriage is not easy. It is a mistake to conceal marriage history, infidelity and violence. If you sincerely repent, you can test forgiveness. But if cheating involves personality, violent nature, transferring money shows his greed, all the cash that has been transferred, and even forging a loan, he is not willing to leave a penny to his partner who works hard and has three children with him, what kind of mentality will this be? What kind of choice will people make?

I don't want to, and I am depressed. The more I think about it, the more I hate myself. I love to make my mind faint, and I close my eyes again and again to deceive myself.