A joke that makes people happy in an instant

1。 Small fleas live in men's beards, and it is hard to stand the cold in winter. The old flea suggested moving to a woman. The little flea was overjoyed and followed the plan. Early the next morning, I cried to the old flea: "I shook the mountains in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep well;" Nothing happened after midnight, but I found another guy's beard this morning! "

2。 The man in a black suit went to the drugstore and bought a black condom! Boss: It's not black. My sworn brother just passed away. I'm going to comfort his wife It is more appropriate to use black politely.

3。 Students studying in the United States go home to visit relatives and brag: American factories have advanced technology, pigs are brought in, and sausages are introduced! His father was very angry when he saw that he worshiped foreign things and admired foreigners. He said, your mother and I are better. As soon as the sausage was pushed in, the live pig came out!

4。 Grandpa takes his grandson to take a shower. See you naked. The grandson looked at him and asked, why is the hair above white and the hair below black? Grandpa replied: what happened above is nerve-racking, and what happened below is happy!

5。 The butcher was caught whoring, fined 4000 yuan and issued a receipt. One day, the butcher and his wife found this receipt, but they only knew 4000 yuan and didn't know the word' whoring'. They asked the butcher: what is a fine of 4000 yuan? The butcher replied, punish me with water.

6。 Husband and wife live with their young children, and suddenly find their son missing in the middle of the night, busy looking for it. It turned out that they were crouching behind the door. The husband said, "Come back quickly, it's windy behind the door." The son said angrily, "Don't lie, it's windy under the covers."

7。 Teacher Xiao Fang in kindergarten pointed to the blackboard: M, A, Y, D and B to test the children. The children said "Touch-A-Aunt-De-Bo" with the most standard pronunciation.

8。 When the mechanic came back from whoring, the master asked how he felt. Answer: The car is driven from front to back, the body is smooth and white without scratches, the two headlights are a little drooping, the groan after ignition is loud, the cylinder gap is too large, and the lubrication is insufficient.

9。 Teacher: What's the difference between a parachute and a condom? Xiao Qiang: One protects the head above, and the other protects the head below. Teacher: 60 points. Xiao Cui: One person is missing when the parachute is broken, and one person is missing when the condom is broken. Teacher: 100.

10。 A man came back half a day with a prescription from a female doctor and asked, "What about 13?" The female doctor smiled and said, "Not 13, but B-ultrasound." The man was furious and said, "Your' B' score is too wide!"