?Men’s visual greed

Wilde said: "Beauty is a form of genius, more direct than genius, because it does not need to be proven." The appearance of beauty is vivid, simple and direct.

I once received a letter from a female graduate student. She said that she was twenty-four years old and had never been in love. She described herself as an "ugly duckling", the type who would get lost in a crowd and not turn around when walking on the street. She saw that all the dignified and beautiful female classmates in the dormitory were "famous flowers". "She has a master", she was inevitably a little disappointed.

When she was an undergraduate, she had always liked a boy in her class. He was tall, handsome, cheerful, had excellent grades, and was a very good basketball player. He was surrounded wherever he went. There were many beautiful flowers and butterflies, but he had never looked at her, the "ugly duckling". The emotional road was deserted, so she had no choice but to focus on her studies. Unexpectedly, after she was admitted to graduate school, she felt even more inferior because even the slightly better boys around her were almost always accompanied by beauties, but she was still ignored. The family has been very anxious about this, but she was already at a loss.

At the end of the letter, she asked me a question: Do men only like beautiful women? And a girl like her who has nothing "remarkable" about her appearance is doomed to become a corner forgotten by love?

I read this letter no less than three times, but I never replied. I didn’t know how to answer her question.

I am reminded of the words of Wilde, the famous British aestheticist writer in the 19th century: "Beauty is a form of genius, more direct than genius, because it does not need to be confirmed." The beauty's appearance is vivid, simple and direct.

Foreign psychologists once conducted a test: they gave you a photo of a stranger and asked you to guess the personality of the stranger based on this unique information. It turned out that the person with the most attractive appearance was People are more likely to be considered interesting, sociable, and more likely to be successful in life and love. We seem to be using a simple stereotype or fixed thinking, that is, beautiful is good, and we think good-looking People also have excellent qualities that match their appearance. What if the slogan "survival of the beautiful" became popular for a time?

Men and women have slightly different requirements for beauty. Regardless of love, spouse selection or even interpersonal relationships, men seem to pay more attention to the appearance and figure of the opposite sex. Although women also like handsome young men, they are more picky about his talent, knowledge, status and financial status.

On the one hand, this difference is caused by the economic inequality between men and women in a patriarchal society. Since women are generally at an economic disadvantage, they have to rely on financially wealthy men in order to survive. On the other hand, women It is also caused by the different sexual arousal of men and women. Men's sexual arousal area is concentrated in the lower body, and they are easily excited and impulsive. As a visual animal, men's perception of the opposite sex first comes from the eyes. When the eyes are stimulated, the mood becomes inexplicably excited. Since ancient times, it has been said that men are active and women are passive in love. This initiative of a man is mainly aroused by a woman's beautiful appearance and graceful figure. The sexual element is strong.

In the popular TV series "Struggle" a few years ago, the two heroines Xia Lin and Yang Xiaoyun had an interesting conversation about this issue. Yang Xiaoyun: "I now know why men are so bothered, because they There is one less thing in the body than a woman - a uterus, so there is no need to bear any consequences." Charlene nodded frequently: "So only when the probability of pregnancy between men and women is completely equal, when the door of the obstetrics and gynecology department of the hospital is full of handsome men with sad faces. Only then will the true equality of men and women be realized!” Although it is a joke, it illustrates the point that men’s lust and philandering have their own biological reasons.

Women's sexual arousal areas are not as concentrated as men's. They are more scattered and even spread all over the body. They are more mobilized by language and imagination. Therefore, women like to listen to sweet words, like romance, and have a heavy color of love.

As for appearance, French feminist pioneer Beauvoir has a view that women are more of a "body to be looked at", which means that women prefer to dress themselves up to be admired and noticed by others. When it comes to appearance, women are naturally passive. Sex determines that she cares more about her own than the opposite sex, so on this issue, women are more "narcissistic", while men are more "in love with her", in love with her appearance, her body, her temperament, her body Xiang, let alone a college boy who is not experienced in the world, even many successful men who have experienced the battlefield and are in high positions will not escape the disaster.

For example, the idiom "a beautiful woman is hidden in a golden house" comes from Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty took Emperor Yang's beautiful queen as his own and was secretly recorded by historians. Emperor Qianlong's various affairs were even more was moved directly to the TV screen. As early as more than 2,000 years ago, Confucius, the number one sage of traditional Chinese culture, lamented: "I have never seen anyone who loves virtue as much as lust." Because "food and sex are the same as sex." In the book "Mencius", the man who has nothing to do with anything is King Xuan of Qi, who loved to sit with Old Master Meng and discuss life and philosophy, simply told the truth: "A few people are sick, and a few people are lustful." Mencius did not put on the face of a moral defender. On the contrary, he answered But it was very humorous: "What's wrong with the king being lustful? Who doesn't like to see beautiful women? But as long as you care more about people's daily life and marriage matters, and ensure that the country has neither men nor women left, you will have great merit!"

It can be seen that men, visual animals, have very low immunity to beautiful women. Throughout the ages, men have been evolving, but they have never been able to change their old habit of lust, and they don’t want to change it. When they walk on the street, even if they meet a beautiful woman they have never met, they will still look around distractedly.

Men have this kind of virtue. Their visual greed determines that they are always unable to resist the temptation of youth and beauty.