In short, the classic funny sayings 5 1 _ friends are iron, which melts when burned.

1. If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I am innocent.

2, women are always strong and strong for a few days, even if they are bleeding.

It's not that I don't want to lose weight, I'm just afraid of rebounding.

In this age of promiscuity, a dear is just a hello at best!

5. To be a man, you must be a person who lingers between Niu A and Niu C. ..

6. My advantage: I dare to admit my mistakes; Disadvantages: resolutely do not change.

7. I am like a fly lying on the glass. I have a bright future, but I can't find a way out.

8. I watch the time in the morning not to see what time it is, but to see how long I can sleep.

9. My wallet is like an onion. I burst into tears every time I opened it.

10, even if you are already taken, I will move you to my side.

1 1, friends who are iron again will melt when they are burned.

12, everyone is original at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

13, a real warrior, dares to face his own face.

14, love that is not based on marriage is hooliganism.

15, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

16, time and tide wait for no man, first of all, women are not spared; Opportunity waits for no man. First of all, you can't wait for a man.

17, in the days without women, I take pleasure in flirting with men.

18, born, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

19, I want to ask: we all paid money at school, shouldn't teachers listen to us?

20. Whenever I have enough to eat and drink, I will think of the serious matter of losing weight.

2 1, don't give me a hard look, you think you are a palette.

22. I am not RMB. How can I make everyone like me?

23. A woman without talent is virtuous. I must be too wicked.

24. Youth is capital, but it is worthless without hard work.

25. Life is like fighting the landlord. One minute you are a group, and the next you are enemies.

26. Looking at beautiful women in the street is appreciation if you look up, and hooligans if you look down.

27. My life creed is: live like a grandson for decades, and then die like a grandfather.

28. Give me a woman and I will create a country! Give you a sow, and the price of meat will fall next year?

29. How dare I touch you? I'm afraid I'll buy hand sanitizer for myself.

Don't push me, or I will become great and out of control.

3 1, don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

32. The beauty of learning lies in confusing people; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

What makes me proud and proud is that until now, the earth is still being trampled by me.

34. Toss a coin, surf the Internet on the front, sleep on the back, and stand up and do your homework.

As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, everything is useless.

Although the bird is small, it plays all over the sky.

37. You think you will be in my heart for a long time. I'm telling you, you think too much.

38, money is not a problem, the problem is no money!

39. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is really unbearable.

40. Examination results are announced: laugh if you do well in the exam, and don't cry or laugh if you don't do well in the exam.

4 1, the longest love I have ever talked about is narcissism. Love yourself, no rival in love.

42. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

43. A letter is a letter. Don't believe it or not. You still have wechat.

44. It will be dark and the road will be slippery. On the way home, you may not know who is more cunning than you.

45. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

46. Some people test their strength, others test their eyesight, and I test my imagination.

47, life is like toilet paper, nothing, try to pull as little as possible!

48, work, take a step back, love, take a step back, people go to the building.

49. I like grass and can't help myself.

50. What I can't extricate myself is love. There are radishes in other people's fields.

5 1, if you don't peel the bark, you will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

A classic sentence, 37 funny quotations

1, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

2. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After meeting you, wow! utter darkness

3, people can't judge by appearances, and the third one can't be measured.

Distance does not produce beauty, but a third party.

5, the goods have a shelf life, and people are tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

6. Baidu couldn't find you, so it had to go to sogou!

7. spread soy sauce all over the world and make others jealous.

If my sister goes crazy one day, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

9. In order to be a civil servant, I gave birth to a leader's son.

10, the most brilliant moment of Apple was hitting Newton on the head.

1 1, looking at beautiful women in the street, the high ones appreciate the low ones are hooligans.

12, cucumber must be filmed, and life must be embarrassing. Yidian market network

13, you did it right, no one will remember; When doing something wrong, even breathing is wrong!

14, ask what the world is like, and tell people to take off their clothes and pants.

15, the face is a thing outside the body. Whether it is necessary or not, money is a must.

16, there are thousands of men in Qian Qian, and I have to change them every day.

17, there is a person alive and he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.

18, I smoke because it hurts my lungs, not my heart.

19, the woman is a sister-in-law, but she is a bitch.

20, you are not a VIp, not even an Ip, you are just a P.

2 1, living will die sooner or later; If you die, you will live forever.

22, white camel mountain strong bone powder, get a knife to apply a pack, but also want to get a second knife.

23, failure is success, damn it, then I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

24, the man was dumped, the problem of money; Women are dumped, they look bad, I am dumped, and you are fucking crazy.

25, don't swear to me, I'm afraid you will be struck by lightning! !

26. Every woman is always mean to a man.

27. Your Majesty, do you still remember the summer by Daming Lake, the sister Rong who punted?

28. Boss, do you have any coke? Give me a bottle of sprite.

29. I am dead and have something to burn. Small things arouse the soul, big things dig the grave. Really miss me, come down and stay with me. If you encounter a line, it is purely a walking corpse.

30. If I die, please burn me a sister.

3 1, everyone who doesn't want to fall in love has an impossible person in his heart!

32. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

33. The salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.

35. A trip to Shenzhou is ok for me, but I won't spend money to see if you can do it.

36. They all say that my sister is beautiful, but they are all made up.

Although you wear cologne, I can still vaguely smell that scum.

32 classic funny quotations in one sentence

1, with your understanding, you may not understand what I explained, so keep slim.

2. You are gold and I am coal. You will shine, and I will get hot. Don't mess with me, or I will melt you.

Someone told you that I use mineral water to flush the toilet. How do you respond? All I peed on was the royal salute.

4, people can't judge by appearances, and the third can't be measured.

My deep affection for you can't be expressed in words, except one sentence: go away.

When my mother turned into a swan, you were still an egg.

7, all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.

8. My brother smokes because he hurts his lungs and is not sad.

9. Me Before You, my world is black and white. After knowing you, wow, it's all black.

10, the most useless thing in the world is to get a pay slip in time, with an angry face and a thin ass.

1 1, rival in love fell into the water and had to pee.

12, the furthest distance in the world is not life and death, but the exam is coming soon. Others are reviewing, but they are previewing. More tragically, people passed the preview, but you failed the review.

13, goods have a shelf life, and people are sometimes tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

14, Your Majesty, do you still remember Sister Rong who punted on the bank of Daming Lake in summer?

15, when I love you, you hit me and scold me, and I endured it. I do not love you anymore. Please touch me again.

16, everything is going up, but people are getting cheaper and cheaper.

17, it's selfless to wear a low-cut dress with a hand gear. ,

18, representative figure of charm: Master Kong. Thousands of people soak it every day.

19, just know what you are.

20. Put Lao Zi in the right position, don't fart and don't take yourself too seriously.

2 1, women mix well, they are sisters-in-law, but they mix badly, they are bitches.

22. Cucumber must be filmed, and life must be embarrassing.

23. What is your vital capacity? You can blow cow B so big.

24. Distance produces not beauty, but a third party.

25. The salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

26. Every woman is always mean to a man.

27. What is cruelty? For a man, I will break his three legs; For a male dog, I will break his five legs.

Girl, your bed is always busy with people coming and going

29. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.

Describe your life with your 2B pencil. Yidian market network

3 1, I feel like two pigs, because one pig can't describe your stupidity.

I don't look down on you, but I don't care about you at all.

In short, 30 classic funny quotations

1, upper-class people always like to do some dirty work.

2. All the people I like are on the hard disk.

3, women chasing men, sandwich yarn. Men chase women, mezzanine mom.

I don't swear, because I have strong hands-on ability.

5, poor Nike, Fuadi, rogue Armani.

6. Teacher, after you put on Laona's gauze, you are Laona's person.

7. I suggest that everyone should know my appearance first, and appreciate it second.

8. Mimi fell into a big bowl, so be afraid!

9. Cough! Say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.

10 actually, I am very curtilage, but it's just a matter of whose house I live in.

From heaven to hell, I just passed by.

12, stupid or not, see if you can play dumb.

13, for girls: it's only a matter of time before you get pregnant.

14, after many years, the little loli has become Sister Xianglin.

15, I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun without you.

16, forbearance or cruelty.

17, a man is a dog, whoever has the ability will take it away.

18, I usually forget to scold you. I don't want to wait for me to hit you before I know that I am both civil and military.

19, everyone looked for her for thousands of times, and suddenly looking back, that person still ignored me.

20, don't ask for the right door, just feel in place.

2 1, Part I: Maybe it seems; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible.

22. The oath was just a slip of the tongue.

23. Smoking is an art of life; Looking for a cigarette is an attitude towards life.

24, youth, you are too acne!

25. My brother smokes because he hurts his lungs and is not sad.

26. Some things don't need to be wrangling, seemingly obeying and secretly resisting.

27, stay up late, because there is no courage to end this day; Stay in bed because you don't have the courage to start a new day.

28. Admit your mistakes and never change.

29. When I woke up in the morning, I thought I had grown up. It turns out that the quilt cover is horizontal.

30. Life is too short to be sexy.